Sunday, August 24, 2008
First and foremost I would like to state that this is Rach's Blog.
Just every once in a while I have a little that I would like to share.
I want to thank those of you who posted comments. (thank you). You have all been very supportive and kind. And Especially the comment posted by Jaime, A BIG thank you, I think you hit it right on. What is normal, we are just made in God's image.
I wish you all could know Rach, but then that would make this journey via the internet and blogging kind of senseless, but I think I can give a little insight into the life of Rachel.
1. she is the most loyal of friends. (my best bud)
2. A kind and generous person. (but don't cross her)
3. smart (er than the president, I once heard)
4. funny (the blue collar guys are hard to beat, but she ranks right up there)
5. upbeat (maybe a cross between Goldie Hawn & Meg Ryan)
6. beautiful (Welllllll!!!!!! enough said.... OK)
7. sincere (when she's not being funny)
Ok! ok! you get the picture.....*grin* (maybe I'm a little biased) but I don't think so..
She functions so well in the hearing community that most don't know that she is deaf. If you take her hearing aid away, it takes a really big bang to get her attention if she isn't looking at you.
But that lip reading thing really sucks, I'm here to tell you that it has put me in time out at many a gatherings from across the room:o(
Sure there have been challenges in our relationship, because of the deafness, but when I really look at it there have been so many more blessings. What is the use of hearing if you can't communicate? Isn't it is so much more effective to hear and be heard with the heart than with the ear.. What good is it to hear with the ear, and it registers in the mind with no intent to understand? Who then has the bigger handicap?
I am in no way suggesting that because of deafness and sign language, that the deaf community is better at communicating (they might not take it so much for granted). I guess what I'm trying to say is that for us the glass is half full!!!! not half empty!
Rach (the deaf one) is like a bulldog here. I had a friend that had a pitbull. He had an inner tube hanging in a tree, (it was about four to five feet off the ground) that dog would literally run and climb the tree to grab that tube. We could go away and come back later and that dog would be hanging there growling and kicking around trying to shake that tube down!!!!!
You gettin the picture here????????? (sometimes I feel like I'm four or five feet off the ground, and she's growling and kicking and gnawing on my behind....) I think I am learning to hear with my heart more!
I'll bet you, like I, was under the mistaken idea that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach?????? We are all so very wrong....
She also helps me to remember to stop and look at that beautiful sunset. Because there are no guarantees there will be another. That what we have in this life, are not so much rights, as privileges and we should give thanks and be continually thankful for that which we have been blessed with.
There are some real challenges living with a (mostly) deaf person. Fire drills can be a real drag. And people think I'm a real weirdo cause I have to take my baseball mitt with me to gatherings. If you watch Major league Baseball I'm sure you have seen the catcher go out to the mound to make sure that he and the pitcher are on the same page? (I think they are trying to communicate) they hide behind their gloves and whisper. Well I can definitely can forgo the whisper, but for certain sure I better have that glove up or Mr. Daddy will be in another time out.
And about alarm clock's WOW!!!!!! it's a good thing that I'm an early riser and usually the first one up. They have cleverly devised a way to use other sensory units to alert the deaf when it is time to get up and face the day. There was one time when I came home from traveling and Rach forgot to turn off herrrrrrrrr?????? thing!!!!! Have you ever been awaken by the shakedown method? of which I am absolutely convinced they were trying to break a new record on the Richter scale? I'm still in therapy over that one.
And there can be a few frustrating times. Like when Itty bit is doing something cute, and I want to get her attention. If I stand up and wave my arms wildly about, and shriek like a fish wife selling her wares, I totally ruin the moment. Itty bit is thoroughly traumatized, Rach is blissfully unaware, and I have to go to the medicine cabinet for Ibuprofen and a throat lozenge.
I would love it if Rach could hear, and if I could give her some or all of mine I would in a nano second.... (I hope I get this right) But if it changed her and who and what she is as a person, and diminished what we have as a couple and as parents, (and I hope it doesn't sound selfish of me) I wouldn't change a thing about her.
She hears me better with her heart than any other person has EVER heard me with their ears.
The compliment that Jack Nicholson gave to Helen Hunt in the movie, (As Good as It Gets) comes to mind..... She makes me want to be a better person.