Sunday, September 28, 2008

Not Me Monday

We had a bit of a crazy week with three close family members having surgery. Which in turn led to some unusual schedules and coping mechanisms.

It wasn’t me who fed Itty Bit dinner from the hospital vending machine. Half a bottle of strawberry Fanta and 43 peanut M&Ms later, he was running laps in the waiting room.

In taking the kiddo potty, he stood next to the toilet and flushed it as we were getting his diaper off. The sound made him start to pee instantly. It wasn’t me who let him keep peeing all over the floor so he wouldn’t get his clothes wet in trying to move him. That would be totally unsanitary – you know how spotless those hospital bathroom floors are, right?

And I totally did not use 1,700 pieces of the non-absorbent paper towels trying to clean up the above mess. Cause that mess didn’t even happen, remember?

It wasn’t me who let Itty Bit play with the buttons on the hospital bed – the one containing the patient who’d had back surgery. Up and down and bend and straighten – really good for recovery, eh? (Actually, that really WASN’T me… and he figured out the “Nurse Call” button now… thanks a lot you silly goose, you know who you are :)

It wasn’t me (or Mr. Daddy) who taught Itty Bit that it’s fun to jump up and down in moving elevators. Uh yeah… but only when they aren’t chock full of hospital staff!

It wasn’t me who stole an unattended walker in the hallway and gave Itty Bit a ride.

I most assuredly was not the one who took Itty Bit to get his haircut and decided to get a trim myself… in a children’s hair salon. And when Mr. Daddy did not tease me about which seat I wanted (the Barbie Jeep or the Cop Car), the pretty young hairdresser did not say “oh, you’d fit… I just sat in the airplane one last night”. And I’m not telling how many pieces the airplane seat is in now… Nope, not me.

It wasn’t short little me who clambered onto my 15.3 hand horse today and rode her under the apple tree so I could pick the ones I couldn’t reach. And surely it wouldn’t have been me who freaked out when a bug crawled out of a rotting apple and onto my hand. I’m not that prissy. And if I’d freaked out, nearly jumped out of the saddle, screamed and thrown the apple – man, that would have been really dumb to do on an arab…

And it certainly wouldn’t have been me who parked near the barn and let Itty Bit hang out in the front seat so I could feed the horses. It couldn’t have been me – cause I didn’t hear the non-stop honking or see the lights going nuts. Gee, it really would have bothered all the neighbors if it had…

Check out what everyone else has not been doing!


Jennifer said...

Those were great! And I'm totally not staying up til after midnight just to read all of the Not Me posts on McKmama's blog!

Weeksie50 said...

I am loving these not me post..
I so should be in bed...ugh.

Robin said...

Ahh, so many good times can be had when bringing small children to hospitals!

And I am NOT getting anything done on Mondays anymore...too much to read!

Thanks for the laughs!


Shanan Strange said...

I'm loving your "Not Me's" Found you on MckMama's blog and wanted to stop in and say Hi.

Jo-Jo said...

I am not loving your not me's. And since I am not...I am not sitting her laughing my butt off because they were too darn cute!

S.L.P said...

Ha ha! Hospitals can be so much fun if you just use your imagination and someone else's walker...but I know you'd never do that! Funny Stuff!

Stacy said...

Oh dear, sounds like you have been having quite the time this past week. I hope all of your family members that underwent surgery are doing fine now. As for the coping sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!

Annie said...

haha - I love the elevator one! :) This post was too cute!

Thanks for stopping by my page!!

Jaime said...

Sounds like someone (not you, of course) was very busy! Glad everyone survived a busy day. :-)