Sunday, October 26, 2008

Not Me Monday!

Time for NOT ME MONDAY again! Play along and check out McMama's site for more!

It was not me who picked up a toy chainsaw for Itty Bit this week.

Everyone else in Target did NOT adore it.

It was not me who walked around with a bit of a smirk on my face – deflecting the pointed glances with the wicked thought of “hey, at least I can take my hearing aid out!”

(okay, if I can’t laugh about it, then who can?)

It was not me who made a loud remark in Sportsman’s Warehouse about a loose dog and how I felt about people who had the pressing need to bring their pets into public places.

It was not me who wanted to crawl into one of their display gun safes when I realized it was my former horse trainer who’d brought the Yorkie.

(in my defense, I’d been treated for a dog allergy for years and it blows me away how many people think it’s okay to bring them to stores)

It was totally not me who shared my insurance agent’s recent email with my coworkers. It was short and sweet and (kinda) to the point:

“Hey Rachel,
Who are you doing now and are you ready to settle?”

My husband about died when he read it. After insisting that I tell our coworkers what it said, it was not me who got teased ALL.DAY.LONG about “who” I was doing now and did I settle. Goshdarnit those typos are funny!

It was not me who had to tell my kiddo a very serious “NO” and leave the room with a bad case of the giggles when I was changing his diaper and he asked for a bandaid for his you-know-what.
Apparently any appendage is fair game for our neon-colored bandaids.

(Why yes, in case you were wondering… our kid DOES think bandaids are stickers).

It was not me who told my son the name of his new toy car, “Axle”, and watched horrified as he loudly repeated it at a coworker’s birthday party… “AXHOLE! AXHOLE!” Yeah… it wasn’t me who wanted to climb under the table.

It wasn’t me who let Itty Bit “drive” (sans keys) while I fed the horses (again). It wasn’t me who was horrified to find that he had decorated his face with my lipstick.

(ps - please don’t tell Mr. Daddy about this… he would totally not appreciate the lipstick)

It was not me who got totally excited about finding a pair of jeans that would actually fit Itty Bit; tiny waist and long legs. Until I remembered that I was in Baby Gap and said a bit too loud, “OH MY GOSH” at the $49.50 price tag. Yes, that’s right ladies and gents… fifty cents less than I paid for my last TWO pairs of jeans together. For a size 18-24 months pair of jeans. If my *ahem* slightly larger butt requires a bit more denim, then how come it’s half the price of the entire two feet of fabric for the little guy’s pair?

Wouldn’t have been so bad except the sales lady was cracking up at my reaction.
Not that I actually did that or anything. I’m totally cool with plunking down half of a $100 bill for my kiddo’s threads. We’re like so rich, Obama wants to talk to us.

It was not me who put Itty Bit in some new pajamas last night and let him wear the top today. If I had, it would have been just so darn cute…

This is what it might have looked like... if it had actually happened:

What did you not do this week?


Anonymous said...

OMG I was totally laughing over those!! HILARIOUS! We would NEVER do such things! LOL

REALLY enjoyed your blog. I did NOT go to MckMama's Not Me list from LAST week to find your blog either...LOL

Stacy said...

Seriously, what is with the GAP prices on jeans?? You would think they were threaded with gold! I have seen more expensive ones though. Diesel makes kids jeans for over $100/pair. Yeah, totally worth it if you are a label whore, which I'm not! I usually go to Kolhs/JCPenny or such stores and buy adjustable waist levis for around $15/pair. I can stomach that.

BTW - Itty Bit is VERY cute!

PS - thanks for sale link to Costco (we are members there - love the store!) - but I am holding strong. No new camera until 2009 - that credit card needs to get paid off!

Killlashandra said...

AXHOLE is too funny! Oh I can so see and hear that one. And the typo wow, talk about spicing up the office humor. ;)

However, I would have bought the chainsaw toy too.

Junita said...

Oh I can relate - my 13 yr old has the figure most 20yr olds would kill for and the only pants we can find and I mean only are $80 a pair! It's the only time I ever wish for him to wear huskey.

Kirsty said...

hahahaha...'AXHOLE'!!!! Love the chainsaw toy too I wouldn't have bought a cool toy like that either;-)

He & Me + 3 said...

I would never pay more money for my kids clothes than mine...that would be absurd.

Heidi Zawisza said...

Okay, the email started the laughing here.....and then the Obama comment REALLY got me laughing! Too funny!

Crystal Rae said...

Im telling you kids say the darnest things, and they can always have fun the anything, (lipstick, wish i could have been there)