Sunday, November 02, 2008

Not Me Monday! *UPDATED*



Where did the week go? It’s already Not Me Monday again!

It was not me who went nuts driving by a construction site: knocking on the window like a crazy monkey and yelling,
BACKHOE! DUMP TRUCK! BULLDOZER!”
to realize that Itty Bit was not even with me… Old habits die hard.

It was not me who about wrecked the car when I realized Itty Bit was trying to rap along with a funny song. If he’d been doing that, it would have been hilarious watching him bob his head to the beat and rap 2-year old gibberish. Didn’t happen. But, you know, if it had… it would have been “Church Hoppers” by the Christian rap artist D-Boy.

Not me who actually got a little wounded when Itty Bit said “Mommy, out” while playing in his bedroom today. Cuz it’s a good thing he’s liking his room and playing independently, right? And I didn’t go check on him a million times because he wouldn’t be doing anything crazy like unscrewing the light switch or gnawing the paint off the trim, right?

It was not me who’d had too much quality time with the laundry and forgot to bring the last load out of the laundry room. So it was not me who found my husband asleep… on the mattress… with no sheets on the bed. Good grief, I’m a better housekeeper than that, right?

Sure wouldn’t be me who’s been prompting the kiddo to

“Come on, cry! You can do it honey! Show mommy!”
Cuz he just learned how to Fake Cry and it’s so stinkin’ cute.
He did not learn it by imitating a cousin’s meltdown. He did not garner a bunch of laughs and thereby assure us that this will be a trick to be used many a time in the future.

It was not me who found Itty Bit upset and checked him out despite Mr. Daddy’s insistence that he was most obviously Fake Crying.
When I noticed a wide cut across his knuckle, I most assuredly was not the one who said pointedly, “Look, this is why he was crying”.
Itty Bit promptly asked for a bandaid, and as I was obliging… it wasn’t me who noticed that the “owie” was really a smear of red licorice (courtesy of Grandma). Even though it didn’t happen… Itty Bit is still running around with a purple bandaid on his finger.

Despite my husband’s prowess with all things related to hunting and gathering… this city chick was still unprepared. It was not me who opened the refrigerator and flipped out about the fresh deer heart in a ziplock baggie. I mean, if I had – it would have been totally understandable, right?

What did you not do this week?

*UPDATED to add the requested video of Itty Bit not Fake Crying...

12 comments:

Killlashandra said...

Oh I know about Mommy, out. W.W.'s new thing is "Leave me along!" He says that alot especially when he's tired. Your skin will thicken no worries there. ;)

Although I'm not sure I'd be encouraging the fake crying. Do you know how much trouble that could bring you when he starts school? LOL

I did not make dinner for 8 people and feel completely gratified when 4 of them left before my class met at 7:30 PM last night.

He And Me + 3 said...

You are hysterical! I totally almost wreck everyday trying to do to many things at once in the car...my kids are constantly saying "mom look" Seriously people...I am driving. They aren't going to really get it until I am looking at them and crash into a building.
Love the dump truck one too. I listen to the kids music only to realize that I already dropped them off at school. Too funny you are! Thanks for the laughs today!
Mimi

Deborah said...

It is so easy to forget they are not with us isn't it. I constantly have the DVD player in my car playing Thomas when I'm alone. I've also panicked in a store because I don't have my 2 year old and he's at home with Daddy or at MDO!

Kirsty said...

Ahhhh so been there done that with the pointing things out to my invisible 3 year old...LOL

Or saying to my Dh look at the baa - lambs *blush*

I would have freaked out at a heart in the fridge. And I'm a country girl!!!

Dana-from chaos to Grace said...

HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I LOVE it!! Ya GOTTA get the fake cry on camera...

Carrie said...

I find myself pointing out trains only to realize that nobody is in the car with me. :)

Deborah said...

In response to your comments about Mirena on my blog. I'm praying that is the problem but terrified it's not and I'll always feel this way. My appt is this Thursday with the same doctor and it is set as an appt to remove the IUC so hopefully I'll have an update soon. I have to admit I'm scared as to how it will go afterwards based on what I read. Google it and see what people are saying.

Stacy said...

What?? Freaking out at a little ol' heart in the fridge?? You should be saying, "Good job, hun, where are the tenderloins?" :) This coming from a girl where we would butcher our own deer for 2 or three families at once in our kitchen. My aunt took a picture of the carnage once as we were doing it assembly line and said that only we would appreciate it LOL!

Thanks for the comments on my blog today...from both of ya! :)

Rissa Mendes said...

You know thats a clssic.. you should send that fake cry thing in to AFV and see if you can win some money LOL

Loved your not me'S

Rissa Mendes said...

Rachel..
Yes I do mean Cochlear Implant.. I've had it for 7 years now.. I was born completely deaf in my left ear and started losing my hearing in my right ear at age 6.. which is why i can talk & really didn't have to have a whole lot of speech therapy..
What about you? how did you become deaf.. Do you know sign Language? I've been using sign for about 17 years now.. I do the praise and worship at my church in sign language..
I would love to know more about you and your deafness.. I've been trying over the last couple of months to reconnect with the deaf world.. and wow.. you leave me a comment.. God sure does work in cool ways!!

I would be glad to answer any questions you have about my implant.. Just let me know what you want to know!!

Well I better go to bed.. pretty tried here.. Hope to hear from you again soon!!
May God Bless You!
Rissa :)

Pinkalicious said...

Itty Bit is NOT cute at all....

Mr. Daddy, that deer heart in the refrigerator is NOT gross at all....

Rachel, you do NOT crack me up at all.....

Thanks for the tag.....I'll be taking care of that this week! :)

Sara

Heidi Zawisza said...

Oh my gosh that video is hilarious!! We want more!!! Give us more!!