Where did the week go? It’s already Not Me Monday again!
It was not me who went nuts driving by a construction site: knocking on the window like a crazy monkey and yelling,
“BACKHOE! DUMP TRUCK! BULLDOZER!”
to realize that Itty Bit was not even with me… Old habits die hard.
It was not me who about wrecked the car when I realized Itty Bit was trying to rap along with a funny song. If he’d been doing that, it would have been hilarious watching him bob his head to the beat and rap 2-year old gibberish. Didn’t happen. But, you know, if it had… it would have been “Church Hoppers” by the Christian rap artist D-Boy.
Not me who actually got a little wounded when Itty Bit said “Mommy, out” while playing in his bedroom today. Cuz it’s a good thing he’s liking his room and playing independently, right? And I didn’t go check on him a million times because he wouldn’t be doing anything crazy like unscrewing the light switch or gnawing the paint off the trim, right?
It was not me who’d had too much quality time with the laundry and forgot to bring the last load out of the laundry room. So it was not me who found my husband asleep… on the mattress… with no sheets on the bed. Good grief, I’m a better housekeeper than that, right?
Sure wouldn’t be me who’s been prompting the kiddo to
“Come on, cry! You can do it honey! Show mommy!”
Cuz he just learned how to Fake Cry and it’s so stinkin’ cute.
He did not learn it by imitating a cousin’s meltdown. He did not garner a bunch of laughs and thereby assure us that this will be a trick to be used many a time in the future.
It was not me who found Itty Bit upset and checked him out despite Mr. Daddy’s insistence that he was most obviously Fake Crying.
When I noticed a wide cut across his knuckle, I most assuredly was not the one who said pointedly, “Look, this is why he was crying”.
Itty Bit promptly asked for a bandaid, and as I was obliging… it wasn’t me who noticed that the “owie” was really a smear of red licorice (courtesy of Grandma). Even though it didn’t happen… Itty Bit is still running around with a purple bandaid on his finger.
Despite my husband’s prowess with all things related to hunting and gathering… this city chick was still unprepared. It was not me who opened the refrigerator and flipped out about the fresh deer heart in a ziplock baggie. I mean, if I had – it would have been totally understandable, right?
What did you not do this week?
*UPDATED to add the requested video of Itty Bit not Fake Crying...