Monday, June 30, 2008

The One Where He Falls Asleep

This vid is a week old - back when we were up at Children's Hospital for all those appointments. The poor kid was totally zonked and I managed to catch him falling asleep on camera. He's gonna hate me for playing it for his first girlfriend. But isn't that what a parent's job is? To capture all these great moments for posterity (and future embarrassment)???!!!
video

Summer Perchance?



Any of you that have spent more than 48 hours in the great Pacific Northwest have got to agree with me that this is the most fickle state!


Poor Tris has been bundled up almost to the end of June... and finally the sun is making an appearance. Like in the NINETIES yesterday. Huh??? You see people at Home Depot loading up on portable air conditioners and fans - it's so like us Washingtonians to be caught unawares by sunshine (side note: Seattle natives buy more sunglasses per capita than any other major city... we lose them frequently cuz you only get to bust them out a couple days out of the year).


Anyway - like the picture above just because we're in summer clothes and my kid got to run around all day barefoot.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Help


I've been hitting up some other mommy blogs and getting some great advice. So I thought I'd venture out and ask for some suggestions on our specific challenges...

As you may know, our "healthy as a horse" little guy only has one kidney and may need surgery on the functioning one someday. As such, the kidney specialists have really emphasized fluid intake. Itty Bit is still in the *lovely* stage of intentionally dumping any cup or bottle of water within reach. If he decides to take a swig, you get a free donation of whatever else was in his mouth as well.
I was unprepared for the third degree I got from his pediatrician recently because he takes a bottle to get to sleep. He's only on soymilk or watered-down apple juice and it's confiscated as soon as he conks out. He has had no ear infections and his teeth are brushed regularly and look great.

So my executive mommy decision was that getting liquids into him was more important than the risk of things we've had no problems with to-date.

I tried substituting a slow flow nipple (Nuk) and he looked at the funny shape and handed it back to me, saying "broke" :) After much coaxing, he finally took a drink and handed it back again, and with all the disdain a 2-year old can muster, pronounced it "BABY". I have no clue how he knows it's a newborn nipple, but it's still downright hilarious to me.

Anyway - we gave up the Nuk - since it turned him off from drinking at all (rather than convincing him a cup was easier). Sippy cups are a total pain because the leakproof thing is a joke and his one aim in life is to disperse all contained liquids on any absorbent item in the household. He's doing a bang-up job so far.

Forgive the longwinded post - would love to hear any suggestions of how you ensured your kids got enough to drink without making huge messes...!

Genetics are a funny thing


I have no clue where this kiddo of ours got his silly gene?

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Since when?


When exactly does insecurity invite itself into our lives?


It surely is related to fear. Not the panicky type that causes your heart to pound and elicits the danger response.


But the kind of fear that paralyzes you and keeps you from moving forward. From trying new things. From trusting.


Aren't all babies born with ultimate confidence? The kind that says, "Here I am. I'm the boss. Here's what I need and here's when I need it, and I'm not above screaming until I get it".


The kind that evolves into, "There it is, I want it", and pulls them slowly but surely from rolling, to crawling, to walking in a surprisingly seamless process.


There seems to be no fear of personal injury, no "what will people think?". They are not consciously goal-setters to that degree, but they are astonishingly sucessful walkers, talkers, and household rulers.


Where does that sudden moment of I'm-unsure-of-myself come from? Parents and friends are lovingly encouraging of past endeavors, yet suddenly an un-sureness is present.

********

I was a bit startled and saddened to see it on my son's face last week. He wanted to join in and have fun; the interest and desire was all over his face. Yet he suddenly pulled back and seemed torn and almost afraid. His beloved cousins were playing and attempting to draw him in. He was uncharacteristically reluctant.


Am I reading too much into it?

Likely.

I recognized it as a frequent visitor in my own life, and I very much don't want him burdened with the inferiority complex that accompanies my disability.

It was just one of those moments I filed away into my memory of baby steps and boyhood steps. My wish for him is that he comes to realize he was created for a purpose and a spot that only he can fill. And that should be enough to wipe out any insecurities, right?!?!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I've been expecting you...

this mood, that is...

I'm a bit melancholy.

There's only so many times when my deafness really manages to pull me into a pity party these days.

Maybe it's because the last few years have been somewhat of a delirious roller coaster.


From saying goodbye to a familiar life and long years of dealing with an infertility diagnosis, to the surprise of a beautiful baby and his nervewracking kidney issues diagnosis.

I was wrapped up in the joy of being pregnant, being a new mom, and being the wife of my best friend.

My deafness kind of fell to the "not so important anymore" list.

I knew I could be a good mom, dang it. I'd had countless mothers trust me with their children, saying that my hearing impairment made them confident that I always had them within my sight (and it sure is harder to get into trouble with an ever-present witness).

As a teenager, my weekly ego boost was working in the nursery of our large church. I was convinced I had the touch as colicky and picky babies seemed to warm to me quickly.

My deafness was a non-issue - they knew how to make their needs known.


I realized tonight that it has been over 700 nights that I've stepped softly to Itty Bit's crib and placed my hand on his chest and waited for that ever so slight rise and fall of his breath.

Since daddy is working out of town, I let him fall asleep in the "big bed" tonight, so he can wake me up in person, rather than me sleeping through his cries.

And I was loving the fact that his face was against mine and I could feel his breath on my cheek as well as under my hand on his back. Just as I wondered what it would be like to hear it, I thought I barely made out a little giggle.
Then his little boy voice started to lilt. I have no idea what he said, but it must have been endearing and engaging. The nightlight showed his blue eyes blinking as he sleepily murmered something that made him smile.

And it really hit hard. Enough to make me suddenly wistful and bring an end to that special moment. I had to struggle to keep from starting the "not fair" debate.

**************

And I'm sitting here with a few minutes of hindsight. I know I will be madly jealous of everyone who can overhear my kid talking to himself, or understand his funny mispronunciations. And it is "not fair".

But I'm still a mother of a miracle child. And he'll grow up to be sensitive to those who are different or need help because of our connection.

Guess I needed a reminder tonight. God is good. God doesn't make mistakes. He loves to give good gifts. Hug your kids an extra time tonight.

******************************

But the reality looms.
There is only so much I can do. And there are things to miss.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Good News


Here's a very tired, brave boy.
We had a long day at Children's Hospital - between the driving and three appointments.
Here's the news... the kidney specialist wants to see us back in six months. His faulty kidney has shrunk beyond measurement, and his good one is compensating and growing. There is some swelling and his blood pressure was originally too high. So those are both things they want to keep an eye on.
The surgeon doesn't need to see us for another couple of years unless his status changes. WOW!!! What an answer to prayer! He looks great, and otherwise has been healthier than any of the other kids he's been around.
Let me tell you how proud I am of this little guy:
Waking up early then getting dunked in a lukewarm bath and strapped in a carseat isn't a great way to start a two-year old's day. He rolled with it.
Spending 2 hours on the road in traffic after your first naptime bottle runs out is no fun. He rolled with it.
Being held down while someone squirts cold gel on your tummy for an ultrasound isn't a blast. He rolled with it.
Stuck in waiting room after waiting room STILL without a nap by lunchtime is almost enough excuse for a meltdown. He rolled with it.
After your third exam, saying "all done" and heading for the door doesn't stop the dreaded words: "blood test and urine sample". He rolled with it.
Here's the really amazing part.
He's a brand-new two years old. More than halfway potty-trained (pretty much by himself). After a long car ride and soaked diaper, he earned his Big Boy status by peeing in a cup.
And that blood draw? Mommy got to hold him and inwardly grieve that she had to restrain him through another painful thing. He winced as the needle went in, said "OUSH!" and didn't fight it. Didn't even cry. Have no clue how this kid came out of me... (ask my mom the "getting her blood drawn" legend).
When it was all over, he picked a blue bandaid and promptly forgot about it.
He's my hero.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Favorite Things











Did you have a Grandma this fun?
Count yourself blessed, really really blessed.

(yeah, I did!)

and Happy Birthday to the above Grandma!

We love you VERY much!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Twosies



Can you believe May-May is TWO???

Isn't she adorable? And she is just rockin' that cool new shirt from a certain Aunt She-She :)


We love you. Happy Birthday Dear Madison!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

too quickly

Where does the time go?

Recently a coworker's son was drafted straight to the major leagues from high school. And while he is excited for his son, he is mourning the loss of their daily companionship. He sadly remarked to me this week, "I still remember him as a baby".

And I do too. It blew me away time had flown by so quickly. He'd been a tiny baby in our church nursery who for some reason preferred to be held by me. He'd had ear infections and could be a challenge to comfort. But we took to eachother and I spent many happy Sundays with him falling asleep in my arms. He was a beautiful kid who quickly outgrew me. Now he's a 6'5" incredibly talented athelete with a professional career ahead of him.

It doesn't seem so long ago that I was his age and looking down that seemingly unlimited path of choices and life-decisions. Yet somehow 18 years have passed since I held that young adult in my arms and it is sobering to think that Tristan's childhood will pass as quickly too.

Where does the time go? Life is lived daily. My goal is to focus on the little things.
Every day.
The big milestones will happen, but we'll remember the funny, unscripted, and heartwarming moments in between.

I don't want to wait for life to happen.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Oops

You say you forgot to put the collector container on the coffee grinder?
No problem... just apply a little slave labor and it's cleaned up in no time!


Thursday, June 05, 2008

Playground Fun








Anyone else notice how often he sticks his toungue out when he's having fun???

Monday, June 02, 2008

Obsession

ob·ses·sion

–noun
1. the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
2. the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.
3. the state of being obsessed.
4. the act of obsessing.






Ya think???

(yes, my friends... that's a gen-u-ine John Deere hat on his head from his Big Bro, and there are more than 30 tractors in the G household at this moment)