Sunday, November 30, 2008

Not Me Monday!

It’s Not Me Monday again!




This week I certainly did not get busted trying to snap a picture of a guy’s MAJOR bare-cheek moment at a gas station.

I surely would not have thrown a matching toy into the basket to appease Itty Bit when he saw what we were getting his little cousin for Christmas. And of course that wouldn’t have been another tractor… like there aren’t 50+ in the house right now

Of course I did not eat turkey sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner yesterday because Mr. Daddy made the most golldarn delicious turkey ever (on the day after Thanksgiving… go figure).

It wasn’t me who smiled sweetly at Mr. Daddy and asked if I could hit a couple of stores with my mom on Black Friday. He would have known that meant an all-day shopping trip, right? Oh no… that man of mine thought it would be a quick little jaunt. By 5pm, that uneducated fella was thinking we were in a ditch somewhere… MEN.

It was not me who looked through every store’s supply of CARS characters. Cuz Itty Bit has enough and Mr. Daddy is convinced that I’m the one who really wants the whole collection.

It was not us who drug Itty Bit all over town doing errands today – skipping his nap and finding him asleep in his carseat… still cradling his beloved Mickey D’s.

What did you not do this week?

I don't wanna know Victoria's Secret

(otherwise known as Too Much Information... don't say I didn't warn ya).

So Mom and I braved the crowds to do some shopping on Black Friday. Not obscenely early, mind you - but there was still a mass overcrowding issue at most stores... enough to make you consider bringing a stroller to carry the bags, even though your kid isn't with you (a side note... thank you very much Mr. Daddy for the no-kid part).

So we hit a couple of stores, then decide to check Victoria's Secret for sales. Some background... my mom is NOT a fan. I'm not really either, except for finding some comfortable bras there (seriously guys, I warned you this was too much information... it gets worse).

I'm not even going to apologize for being conservative enough to be bothered by all the teenyboppers walking through the store with their boyfriends in tow. There's a right time and place for stuff.
In my mind, people shouldn't be strutting around in their undies - especially not on a runway and then broadcast for the world to see. There ya go, mini-Victoria's-Secret-rant.

So we head back to the bra section, where I'm asked my size and the employee cheerfully offers to measure me.

Uhh, no thanks. I'm not as brave as the first girl standing there with her arms up and a tape measure around her bust - in full sight of the rest of the store. I'll just take a couple post-baby size guesses and we'll call it good.

First one is not a great fit.

Second one, oh-my-goodness-who-does-this-cleavage-belong-to? (otherwise known as I-can't-breathe).

Third one my mother says, "It's not supposed to gap like that... maybe I should ask one of the salespeople what to do about that?"

I hesitantly agree.

The next thing I know, the salesgirl (all 80 pounds of her, 10 of it makeup) comes in to the fitting room with me. WITH ME.
I'm in an ill-fitting bra in all of my postpartum glory (yes, I'm still using that excuse 2 years later), and she comes in WITH ME.

You know, in that mini dressing room with fat-abulous lighting that highlights every untoned part of your body.

She starts tugging around the straps and the sides.
Then she does it.

She tells me to reach inside the bra and "hold myself" into the cup.

I look at her dumbstruck.
She thinks I just don't understand her. So she says it again. Then tries to demonstrate without actually touching me.
And again.

Uhh, no thank you. I'm not going to reach my hands into my armpits, shove my girls together, look in the mirror and say that's a great fit. What do I do afterward? Walk around like that with my new $45 bra? I'll look like that girl from Superstar for sure. And my hands are certainly not going there in front of a teenager with lipstick far outside of her natural lip line - who is a total stranger to boot!

My mother finally rescued me and said "that's okay" and kinda got Miss Helpful out of the dressing room.

I know it was too much information. I'll just let you thank me for not sharing what my mother said about the more risque items on the way out!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Don't ask me to look at that again!!!


Really I don't know what it is???

Maybe being deaf, makes her overcompensate by being overly watchful? Not sure, "Butt" I do know that I have been called on to take in some sights lately that I would REALLLLLLY rather been blissfully unaware of...

To set the scene: We were on our way home the other night, when I realized that Rach's car was getting low on gas, As I pulled off I-5, I pulled directly into the new (and improved) Pilot station. Now being both new and improved, they have decent fuel prices and almost anything that a traveler could want. A McDonald's, a Subway, a coffee shop, bricabrac, chips, and drinks of all kinds, A truck stop where drivers can get a shower for a nominal fee.

(A very busy place)

Now Itty Bit realizes that we have entered an area in close proximity to his favorite food: "FRENCH FRIES" So he starts letting us (and the world) know that he is in dire need of sustenance from Mickey D's.

As there was an opening in the last pump stall I, (very unwisely you will see) decide to fill up first.

As I pull into the very last pump opening before the entrance of the drive through to Mickey D's, I notice that there is a loaded tow truck (ramp type) with two attendants (very large) almost blocking the entrance, and they are assisting a lady with a flat tire, I get out and start to fill up, and I hear Rach GASP, and say YOU GOTTA SEE THIS." "O" how I wish she would have left me in my ignorant bliss...

I stick my head back into the car to see what all the commotion is about, Rach says, "Look at that." Attendant #1 is squatted down, (you gotta remember here that I stated they were large). Now please don't think that I am picking on large people here... We are all God's children and he loves us all. It's just that I firmly believe that (large men at least) should invest in a belt or suspenders!!!!! but I digress!

There for all to see was one of the largest Butt Crack smiles, I have ever been subjected to, as I groaned a little to myself and start to go back to my fueling responsibilties, I hear Rach mumbling, "Where did I put that camera?" Then I hear, "Mr. Daddy give me your phone!!"

I'm thinking HUH??

Then the light comes on, she remembers the fishing story and owl episode....(smart gal I married) eh!

Now I having been in a similar situation not to long ago, can see the story unfolding in my mind..and I am nearly ecstatic with evil glee, (remember) the memory on my phone is full, and we are way too far away for a good pic..
I can just picture in my mind Rach snapping the pic, realizing that even she will not be able to tell why she took it, and then the sneak on the unsuspecting subject to get a closer and better shot?
(I can not get my phone to her fast enough)

Well as they say: the best laid plans of mice and men, Alas, as Rach rolled down her window and stuck the phone out,(to get the best photo angle I'm guessing) Attendant #2 turned and totally busted her attempt to get the largest B.C. smile in history on record for the blog. (I know we need to get a life.) LOL

Well I hear this EEEeeek! and a thump (Rach hitting floor boards) and a frantically whispered, "Get me outta here!"

Me I'm kinda gasping and wheezing and snickering, (a lot) as I look over the car I realize that both, (keep in mind they are very large) are looking menacingly in our direction, my evil glee turned to terror! I wasn't sure how many it would take to kick my butt, but I was pretty sure how many they were gonna use.

Me: hon is 5 gallons enough?
Her: yeah sure babe!
Me: you sure you want a reciept?
Her: no I can figure it out later!
just get in and lock the door............

As I get in our Ford Escape, to make our escape. I realize that Itty Bit cares not at all about what went on, he just wants his FRENCH FRIES!!
Me: make sure the doors are locked!
Her: they are!
Me: smile and wave at the nice (big) boys
Her: gulp! okay.

I'm so thankful the exit is on the other side of the building....

Our Thanksgiving (and beyond)

Boy was it a roller coaster ride!

It started out great - sleeping in, then making Mr. Daddy's famous salsa and getting ready to head over to Uncle Harold's and Aunt Mary's for some great family fellowship and food...

We pulled up and Toby Keith was playing and Itty Bit was singing along (yeah, hilarious). So we all three stayed in the car and sang along with him.

Then we headed inside to lots of hugs and "Wow, he's getting big!". It took all of 20 minutes for Itty Bit to start his demonstration of why he needed a nap.
Before our eyes, he transformed into that kid. You know, the brat that everyone in the store shakes their head at and silently chides the parents for not disciplining them...
Well, we WERE! And it wasn't working! You know I wanted to find a rock to hide under.
He became so unruly it was impossible to enjoy the afternoon. The last straw was him pushing down his little cousin. We gave up and headed home with a screaming child.

Can I say I wasn't feeling very grateful?

He went straight into his bed with a chocolate milk bottle that I'd warmed. He spent 20 minutes screaming "NO WARM!" between sobs. Until I picked him up and said nothing but, "sweetie, okay, okay, okay". He laid back into my arms and closed his eyes and finally let his crying subside.

And I realized that it had been so long since I had held him like this and rocked him to sleep. In the "he needs to learn to go to sleep on his own phase"... I had literally not rocked him in months. And it was comforting to ME.

I was alone with my thoughts and the little boy whose breath was slowly becoming even. I was bewildered by the events of the day and wondered where my sweet boy had gone. I began to pray. For wisdom, for understanding, for peace and patience for both of us.

Well, my back lasted all of seven minutes with a sleepy boy in my arms. I laid him in my bed and pulled the soft quilt up to his tummy. He sighed and patted my had.

It had been a rough day - for all three of us. But sometimes true gratefulness needs a window into "what if". Would I trade the trantrum-filled day for one moment of my infertility heartache? Not a chance.

So my thankfulness was back. A bit deeper and attached to a few more prayer requests that God would transform ME.

As I sat with my husband's arm around me and pressed "Play" on the remote, I was content. So content with the life God has blessed us with.

(and it wasn't all bad... look at the delight on Itty Bit's face to see cousin J!)

Friday, November 28, 2008

A little help here?

Hon, can you take the garbage out?

Hon?

Uhh... yeah right - instant narcolepsy

And now you've got your Mini Me playing along...
with a smile on his face, no less :)

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(aren't those pajamas so stinkin' cute?)

Thursday, November 27, 2008

TWO HUNDRED?!?

By the way y'all, we have now officially topped 200 posts!

If I were a bit more organized, I would have gotten a giveaway together. That's still in the works for post #250 - after the flu season and Christmas. (Unless Mr. Daddy goes crazy with the posting... then it could be much sooner. I think it's about time for another Mr. Daddy post, don't you?)

What strikes me as unexpected is how easily this has become part of our lives. Checking in on our cyber-friends and sharing some profound moments with people we have never met... heartwarming celebrations, gut-wrenching grief, parenting trials, financial worries, pregnancies, birthdays, elections, adventures, prayer requests, and of course, miracles...

And I keep coming back to the same thing: who'da thunk?!?

I never would have believed that "Ooh, you better watch out or that's going on the blog" would become a regular refrain in our home. Or that "blogworthy" would become part of our vocabulary.

And sometimes it's just everyday stuff. In fact, it usually is.

So here's a couple of updates:

Just for you moms out there who expressed genuine concern over Itty Bit's friendly-fire injury... take a peek at the happy kiddos as they commenced their playtime with no hard feelings:
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~

Okay - remember that Not Me Monday where I was talking about the sneaky stuff I was hoping the kiddo wouldn't be up to while in his room by himself...?

I'll save you the hassle of following the link - here's an exerpt:
Not me who actually got a little wounded when Itty Bit said “Mommy, out” while playing in his bedroom today. Cuz it’s a good thing he’s liking his room and playing independently, right? And I didn’t go check on him a million times because he wouldn’t be doing anything crazy like unscrewing the light switch or gnawing the paint off the trim, right?

Should I have been surprised to find this?

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Look closely my friends... our talented Itty Bit has managed to loosen the screws of the door jamb by using (what else), his fingernails.

Yeah, we've got a little MacGyver on our hands. Which can be a bit of a challenge when childproofing a house :P

~

So what's new with YOU?

Leave us a little comment love and tell me how your Thanksgiving went!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thankful

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Who could see this in their backyard and not feel grateful that there is a Creator who cares enough to paint the sky as an evening gift?

It makes me feel thoroughly small,
yet reminds me that He is more than able
to take care of the things I worry about.

Here's hoping you have a truly blessed Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

McQueen strikes again!

Maybe there's a reason the kid is not asleep?

It's naptime and I check in on him to find a little lump giggling loudly in my bed.


Yeah, I know... those darned CARS again!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Not Me Monday

Check out MckMama's site for more!


And off we go:

This week it was not me who laughed uproariously when Itty Bit shut himself in the bathroom while Mr. Daddy was taking a shower… then promptly turned off the light and threw his cars into the water. (Welcome to my world, honey).

When Itty Bit said, “Daddy sleeping”, it wasn’t me who said, “Daddy wake up?” then giggled when he ran to the napping guy and startled him awake with a monster roar.

After a long week of our household being sick at home, it was not me who just picked out my daily clothes from the clean clothes pile on the dryer. It would have saved me from putting them away, then just pulling them back out again. I’m not lazy like that, right?

It was not me who got into a discussion with the manager at McDonald’s about the price of substituting a shake for a drink… then proceeded to leave the place without Mr. Daddy’s shake (DOH!)

Not me who would post about my kid taking a finger to the eye during playtime. Of course no one would have video evidence of me laughing (again).

On the rare occasion that Itty Bit stuck his finger up his nose, it wasn’t me who realized it might be a photo-op. It definitely wasn’t me who was totally busted saying, “Come on honey, look at me and pick your nose” a little too loudly when Mr. Daddy was on the phone with a family member.
(Sorry about that, Dave… now you know).

It's only funny 'til someone loses an eye

O-kaaaaay. So it's not really funny.

But why can't I stop laughing every time I see it?

I mean, moms aren't supposed to laugh when their kids get hurt.

Don't worry, it wasn't anything ultra-terrible. Just one of those times where you pat your kid's head and say "aww baby" between laughs.

To set the scene: Mr. Daddy was already holding his grandson: Cutie Left, and picked up Itty Bit: Cutie Right. (Yes, the boys are close in age... long story.)

Cutie Left is thoroughly good-natured... the kind of boy a mom wants her little girl to marry someday. He and Itty Bit play well together and what happened was totally unintentional.

Thankfully it did not ruin the rest of their playtime.

The kicker for me is when Cutie Left says "sorry", then turns to me and smiles at the camera :)

(Yeah, okay. I'm a bad mom. But I know you laughed too!)

Saturday, November 22, 2008

SOOC = straight out of camera

Sometimes you need to look a little closer for those unexpected blessings.

Like a winter rainbow.


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Join Melody at Slurping Life on an SOOC tour this morning!

Slurping Life

Friday, November 21, 2008

A look back

Hard to believe it's been two years in the blogging world for us.

Even harder to believe that the kiddo is 2-1/2 years old.

I paused for a few minutes to look back and see what was happening in our lives before the holidays back then. And what I found made me even more grateful.

Before bloggyhood, our big news was this:


The girl who not only wasn't supposed to have a baby, was due just 5 days apart from her little sister. Talk about doubly blessed. I was thankful.

~


In 2006 (Health Update) our little guy had just gotten knocked out for his first MRI.


As a mother, the moment I handed my baby to a stranger and was told to wait outside... well, it was the worst.

I understood with my head why we needed to do it - to try to answer the questions about his kidneys - but my heart was in turmoil with the thought that I was somehow abandoning him.

They brought him back and he was absolutely limp with tubes across his face. We had to wait until he began to stir. Every ounce of me wanted to scoop him up and hold him tight and wait for his eyes to open.

It was a tough time but the results indicated no imminent surgery. We returned home and he got busy learning to crawl. I was thankful.

~

Fast forward to 2007: Itty Bit still had't needed surgery and was quite a bit more mobile (thanks to Mr. Daddy's quad).



We added another member to our family - a sweet saddlebred/arab named Kona who rapidly regained her health.


~

2008? Well... still no surgery and the little guy is as crazy and energetic as ever.

We are blessed. And I am thankful.

ET anyone?


What a goof!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I was wrong

And I'm actually a bit giddy about it.

I thought for sure that I was the only parent not allowed to take a shower in peace (see this post).

It turns out our kiddo is an equal-opportunity bugger!

Mr. Daddy decides to take a shower. I laughingly ask if he plans to give Itty Bit a bath too. He looks confused and says, "You already gave him one?"

I am already wondering if Itty Bit is going to leave him alone once he hears the water running...

A few minutes after Mr. Daddy heads for the shower, I feel a door slam, and assume that Mr. Daddy has foiled Itty Bit's attempt to play in the bathroom.

Then the SLAM is followed by a couple of smaller CRASH sounds. I figure Mr. Daddy has everything under control and continue catching up on emails.

Several minutes later I decide to check on Itty Bit and can find him nowhere...

I peek into the bathroom and there is Mr. Daddy with a slightly disgruntled look.

Me: What's going on hon?

Mr. Daddy: Well, first off - he can open ALL the doors.

Me: (chuckling)

Mr. Daddy: Yeah, so he comes in here, shuts the door (the SLAM)

Me: Ohhh

Mr. Daddy: Then he turns off the light.

Me: (full out laughing)

Mr. Daddy: Then he comes over and starts tossing his cars into the shower (the CRASHES)

~

don't you love it when Dads get a taste of a Mom's daily life?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Things I don't understand

Why a kid needs to lick a sliding glass door.

Why said toddler always selects Mommy's toothbrush to "clean" various bathroom fixtures.

Why he begs for an apple, then calls it a day after one bite (any guesses how often the horses get a treat after I check the fruit bowl and find THREE of these, nice and brown?)


Why he'll thumb his nose at peas, but eat a 2-week old Cheerio from under the couch.

Why a Mommy-only emergency develops every time I think about taking a shower.

Why a kid will not trust Mommy when she says, "Honey, don't smell that"

(though he just might believe me next time - especially when it comes to VICKS)

While Daddies are sleeping


Little boys are busy using their feet to prop up forts for their toys...


For other Cars character adventures, see here.


We are now all officially sick and at home for the day. For some reason, Itty Bit thinks he should have his usual energy, while mommy & daddy are wiped out. At least Mr. Daddy should be thankful we didn't break out the fingernail polish, eh?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Not Me Monday!

The woefully anticipated day is here…

That’s right, another round of

NOT ME MONDAY!



This week, it was not me who clamped my hand over my son’s mouth when he started saying loudly,
NAKED, NAKED, NAKED
in public
for no apparent reason
My kiddo isn’t weird like that…

It was also not me who was not quite quick enough to keep aforementioned kiddo from picking up a piece of popcorn off the floor and shoving it in his mouth. DISGUSTING!

Of course it wouldn’t have been me who posted about some foreign language instructions that included “
Y HORNEE!” and laughed and laughed about it. That would have been totally juvenile.

It was not me who steered my mom away from a bazaar booth by saying, “no Mom, that seller was rude to me and Jen like three years ago”. That would be silly, I wouldn’t carry a grudge past two years.

It was not me who got all up in a lovely “stubborn” 7-year old’s face and told her firmly, “Honey, get your butt back down the slide, you’re gonna hurt the little kids coming up the wrong way like that.” She would have sassed me back, and I would have given her the next-step-up look that would have convinced her to quickly remove herself from my view. I’d only do that if I had two little lovies to look out for and darned if she wasn’t too big for that toy! Not that it happened, but I think she went looking for her mama after.

Not me who climbed over the fence a million times this weekend – despite my husband’s insistence that I use the gates. Come on… Mr. Daddy built ‘em strong – why work off my baby fat by going the long way to the gate?

It was not me who got more than a little scared trying to rein in a freaked-out horse running circles around me on a short lead line. As she stood trembling next to me snorting at the woods, it was not me who patted her neck and said, “don’t worry baby, I know karate”.

OH.MY.GOSH, where did that come from?
(Jen, you are still sworn to secrecy about the origins of that phrase).

And it is certainly not me who is secretly hoping Mr. Daddy feels sorry for her in the morning (cough cough sniffle sniffle) so he won’t go on his business trip this week…


Check out MckMama's for more!

Easily amused

Yes my dear bloggy friends... this post is completely pointless except to share what gave me the giggles last night.
~
I apologize in advance if anyone is offended by this. I find that the english language and sign language have many joke-inducing qualities, so please read this in that context.
~
I went to bake some cookies. I've been sick all week and suddenly had a craving for some quick chocolate chip yummies. I love you Toll House.


I flip the package over to see how long to bake them, and this is what I see.


What? Nothing out of the ordinary?
~
Let me give you a closeup:

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I am so sorry - but maybe one of my friends can tell me what "Y HORNEE" means? Cuz it sure had me cracking up over here trying to figure it out! It wouldn't have been quite so darn funny except for that exclamation point. If "hornee" means "bake", then how do you say "shake and bake"???
~
I danced around the kitchen giggling, "Y HORNEE!", much to my husband's confusion. I think he chalked it up to the Nyquil...

Friday, November 14, 2008

SOOC - Mr Daddy's contribution

Slurping Life
Please see Melody at Slurping Life for more SOOC shots
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Ok

here it is.
I know that it is a little grainy, and maybe not as crystal clear as might be possible.

But let me explain:

there I was all alone, just me and my gun! "O" yea my trusty Quad was by my side also. (actually I was on it, just sounds better this way)

when I happened to look to the side, and voila there it was, This stunning image of this magnificent Owl......

I was gripped by this burning desire to capture this image for posterity, (and to share with Rach, too)

Imagine my despair when I realized that I had no means at my disposal to do so. I had fleetingly thought to bring the camera, but had rejected the idea as it had been raining and looked to continue, and for the same reason I had left my back pack, in which I always carry a disposable 35 mm (just in case I happen to get lucky enough to bag the new world record trophy blacktail)

As I sat there agonizing over the injustice of it all, I remember the story that involved my brother, Dad and myself and a fishing trip that we took a couple of years ago, right after my Dad's quadruple bypass surgery.

As a celebration of sorts when he got well enough to get around, my Brother and I decided to take him summer run and Sturgeon fishing on the Columbia,

Well the steelhead weren't cooperating, so we decided to try for the wiley sturg... within minutes of anchoring at one of our favorite sturg. holes, Dad's pole began to dance, he set the hook and O MY Golly,,,, the fight was on, after a battle of heroic proportions (and my brother having to take the rod, it proved too strenuous for my Dad's newly healed incisions)

We landed the beast!!! To my horror I realized I had forgotten my camera. Imagine my disappointment,,, I actually entertained the idea of smuggling it home, (but how do you get a 6 foot fish down your boot) not to mention the fact that both my brother and myself work for a law enforcement agency and can't even imagine the conversations that would have developed between ourselves and the Fish and Game agents had we been caught in such a scandalous event...

So I did what was painfully the right thing to do, I released it. As the leviathan disappeared
slowly into the depths, my brother solemnly stated, YOU DORK!!!!! your phone has a camera in it! so lost to all, but mostly concerning only us, that Kodak moment was gone for good.

So as I sat looking at that beautiful picture crying out to be taken, I remembered this time.

My Samsung, super low mega pixel, autofocus, limited memory, only thing available camera.

I took the first pic from about 60 feet away, as I gazed into the microscopic view screen, I realized I took this shot and even I don't know what it is???

I thought hey! what have I got to lose, so I moved in for the close up.. click

A little better, but wait "O" no memory is full!!! quick delete something, but what which pic do I sacrifice? "O" shoot there goes one of B, (my grandson)

move up a few more feet: click, A little better!!! AAAArrrg! fumble fuss trying to save.. "O" blast it the record retention on my phone is the pits..

Move up and click: mutter, grumble, (a few unsavory comments) Ok ready to shoot again, so by this time I am like 15 to 20 feet from this incredible sight... Move up a little closer

By now I am only 8 to10 feet away from this unbelievable event, I am trying valiantly to delete any and all pics on my memory card. talk about fumble fingers..

Mr. Owl looks down at me solemnly, gives me the most disdainful look, one that only Owls can fully attain to, slowly spreads his wings and moves to a tree about a 100 feet away.

As I slowly made my way back to my trusty steed, (quad)

I silently thanked God for such a beautiful experience:

So if my phone qualifies as a camera here is my contribution of SOOC

So wish it would of been a Canon or Nikon or Sony or anything but a Samsung...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Commissioned Watercolor Portrait GIVEAWAY!!!!


Oh so sweet! Check it out below!

Oh the joys - Part II

(the previous post was actually not intended to be a rant, but rather a humorous look at what happens when you make assumptions and your hearing doesn’t back you up!)

People often seem taken aback when I joke about my hearing loss. It might make them uncomfortable, but I usually follow it up with "hey, if I can't laugh about it, who can?"

And sometimes the joke is on them.

Years ago, I'd only recently transferred to a new division in our law enforcement agency. I now worked with a crew of 25+ rowdy guys and was one of THREE women working the front office. These jokesters didn't know what to make of the new deaf kid (yeah, it was that long ago - I was still a young’un) and they finally got around to including me in some hilarity.

Now... understand that it can be confusing for people meeting me the first time - especially if they've been warned that I'm deaf. Often, they will use a stage whisper while over-enunciating each word (comical in itself), or simply remain silent and pantomime things (even more comical).

Then I open my mouth and get all kinds of confused looks when it sounds like someone with a bit of an accent. I don't register as a "normal" deaf person.

So when they finally got around to goofing off - one of the guys said "watch this" and stuck his hands in front of his mouth and started talking.

When he was done, he looked at me with a bit of a smirk on his face, expectantly.

I said, "you said, 'what did I say?'".

The lunchroom erupted in loud guffaws and wild laughter.
The guy is astonished. I tell him, “come on… that’s what EVERYONE says!”

The guys are totally digging the new chick getting one over on the oldtimer.

But I can see the look on the trickster’s face… the guy is seriously wondering if I’m faking.

And that thought alone cracks me up.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Oh the joys

I promise - someday I will write honestly about the joys of being deaf (or at least the advantages)... for now, consider this a very sarcastic rendering of the minus-hearing situations I found myself in just today.

I talk Mr. Daddy into going to Red Robin (actually, I say the words french fries to Itty Bit and it is a done deal from there).

Our meal is rather normal. Meaning Itty Bit is his usual 2-year old self and thinks everyone else's booth deserves a visit from him. By climbing over the seats, of course. But I digress...

I head to the bathroom to get a dry diaper on Itty Bit. Seeing that we're alone, I dare to sing a little goofy song to him. I stop short and grill him with a "PEEE-UUUU! Did you just FOOCHIE?!?!"

Itty Bit startles and I realize that the toilet in an adjacent stall is flushing.

Oh.Good.Lord.
I am mortified.

The smell actually gets worse, and I am faced with a timing dilemma.

Do I pack up the kid quickly and just sanitize with wipes back at the dinner table? Or do I wait her out and hope she doesn't recognize me by my shoes later?

I don't see any movement, so I quickly gather Itty Bit up, splash some token water on our hands at the sink, then turn to face an unhappy looking blonde.

"Hey, let's go get Daddy, okay Itty Bit?!?" as I flee.

(Mr. Daddy is going to think I'm a dork after reading this... I didn't tell him because I was so embarrassed. And I just knew my spot-on timing would strike again and we'd be in the middle of laughing uproariously when she walked by our table).

~

So... we get through dinner with Itty Bit ducking under the table and trying to escape several times - all the while making fire truck siren noises and clamoring to see the big black carousel horse they have on display near the ceiling.

(totally off topic, but WHY do they have those fun things if kids can't play with them? it's like you walk in and they're just hanging out up there... 10 feet in the air, saying "neener neener neener". I am SO not taking him to the Red Robin with bumper cars suspended from the ceiling)

After dinner we're walking out. And of course those high-school greeters are there waiting. They smile and wish us a good night. I say, "thanks, you too!"

Uhh... within 2 seconds, my lipreading replay kicks in.

GOSH DANG IT

She said, "come again!"

and like a dork, I said, "thanks, you too!"

I have a feeling she'll be coming back again very soon.

~

On our way home, we stop at the store to grab a couple things. Mr. Daddy keeps the kiddo in the car and I head in alone.

(am I the only mom who feels like she's missing a limb when she goes into a store without a child and a 20 pound diaper bag?)

I detour to the bathroom, and again it's empty.
I checked. You know, just in case I wanted to burst into a silly song all by myself...

Just to set the scene for you... this is a NICE bathroom. With actual walls between the stalls. None of that little kid peeking under the dividers thing going on.

The next moment, a pair of shoes stops in front of the stall door. And a hand reaches under.

With toilet paper.

????????????????????????????

I didn't ask for any.
There's toilet paper in the stall.

This person had just walked into the bathroom, decided to check in case any stranded women needed toilet paper, then randomly offered it from the door of the stall?

I was totally baffled.

And would have PAID to be able to hear if she'd said anything.

Seriously, she left right after that.

Entered, thrust the Charmin under the door, then left.

I'm still baffled.
That one's gonna keep me up tonight.

~

And just so you don't think that two out of three stories tonight were from BATHROOMS...

We're riding home and Mr. Daddy realizes that we should top off the tank.
He mutters and prepares to turn the car around.

Suddenly his head snaps to the backseat and his eyes register panic.

And clear as a bell, our innocent Itty Bit repeats, "OH CR@P"

I might not have caught it the first time, but Itty Bit did a good job interpreting for Mommy. A little too good.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Not Me Monday!

Crazy Not Me Monday again!

While trying to do two things at once, it was not me who burnt dinner.

After separating the burned from the not-so-badly-burned, it was not me who burned the whole darn thing all over again 5 minutes later.

Feeling a bit of a sore throat, it was not me who snuck a couple of Itty Bit’s gummy vitamins.

It was not me who received a gorgeous bouquet of red roses from Mr. Daddy, then promptly proceeded to trim them, stick the special flower food in the vase, arrange them, and place them on the table. It was not me who was totally baffled the next morning when they were all wilted and sad looking. That wouldn’t have been because I forgot to put WATER in the vase, right?

It was not me who actually laughed at Itty Bit falling down in a pair of muck boots that went to his hips. That woulda been mean.

(oh come on... I know you laughed too)

What have you guys not been up to this week?

Saturday, November 08, 2008

SOOC = straight out of camera

Melody's got a great action shot up on her blog today for SOOC Saturday. Go check it out and see what others are posting too!


Slurping Life




Photobucket

Friday, November 07, 2008

Hold you.

That's what I heard this morning when Itty bit got up and came out into the living room.
I was watching a duck hunting show on Versus. As he crawled up into my lap, and snuggled in, and we began to bond in that primordial way that guys do. My mind began to wander and the hunting show lost its allure.

I began to think about his simple statement......("Hold you") and you have to let your imagination take you to the moment, of his toddler's voice, and the look on his sweet face.

My mind processed the statement: Hold me Daddy I want to be next to you.

And I wondered: is that a true interpretation of what he had said?

Because at that precise moment in time, I could not define really who was holding who!!

"O" I know that if you had been a fly on the wall, you would have seen a scruffy looking redneck kinda guy, holding an angelic looking Itty Bit. But if you would have looked with a different set of eyes: you would have seen a whole different scenario,

Thanks to Heidi@
Zawisza Tribune for posting God's Fingerprints

I think what you would have seen Itty Bit holding Mr. Daddy's heart in his Itty Bitty hands

Photobucket

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Good thing he's good-natured, no?

Seriously - this kiddo is such a good sport.

Mr. Daddy was goofing off and snuck a sticker onto Itty Bit's head.

The result was somewhat akin to watching a dog with that weird cone thing.

He kinda went around and around trying to reach it.

It's amusing if you can get past the helium voice narration thing.

(And no matter what your eyes would have you believe...that sticker off my jeans most certainly says something like size 3/4 or whatever. And of course those are just huge on me. Don't you remember I lost my butt once I had a kid? Seriously, ask Mr. Daddy about the previous "Griffey" butt. That's probably only funny to a baseball fan... or not.)

On to the video!

Don't you love the silent laughing?

Hard to explain

"Wanna geef rizit?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Wanna geef rizit?"

"Umm, I'm sorry. What was that?"

"A GEEF RIZIT"

Swallowing in embarrassment as the guy behind the toy store counter stares at me, then turns to look at the other teenaged cashier with a look of confusion/amusement.
He's not sure if I'm messing with him.
The girl doesn't care - she stares at her black-painted fingernails and smacks her gum, one eyebrow lifted in an obvious "so what?"

I run through the usual suspects:

Debit or Credit? Nah, I paid with cash
Paper or Plastic? Nope, he's already bagged the remote control cars in plastic.
Phone Number? Gosh I hate when they ask for this... they act surprised that a deaf person doesn't have a home phone number handy. Why? So the TOY STORE can call them?

Suddenly I get it.

GIFT RECEIPT

Ahh, clarity at last.

"Umm, yes please."

He stares at me. Trying to figure out what that was all about. Am I not fluent in English? Am I mentally challenged? Why do I sound normal?

I collect my bags and start to head out.

He lifts his hand and silently mouths, "Thank You"

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Wowza!


What a surprise!

Our friend Mimi at He + Me + 3 nominated us for a blog award!
I'd say she nominated just me; but dangit if Mr. Daddy's posts and comments don't get the most responses, so I'll share :)

Mimi, you are too kind. We have really been enjoying your blog and your ultra-cute kids.

So... here are the rules:

1. Post the award on my blog.
2. Link to
her for giving it to me.
3. Link the originating post -
here.
4. Pass the award on to five more deserving people.
5. Post these rules for the recipients.


Gosh it's hard to pick just five! The blogging world has been like Nintendo for adults (or whatever your particular craving is!) These are a few favorites that I get my fix from every chance I get:

Lizzy at My Ice Cream Diary cracks me up on a regular basis. I started reading before Baby #5 (uhh, HER baby #5) and am just in awe that she has time to blog...

Michelle at My Semblance of Sanity gets extra-credit for her fundraising to help families of kids fighting cancer. She puts her creativity to good use with awesome original namesakes with a portion going to her charity. We love ours!

Melody at Slurping Life was one of the first blogs I found and got addicted to. I love this woman's absolute dedication to her kids and her tireless work to give the world a glimpse of what is amazing about each of them. Go check her out. You'll be touched, guaranteed.

Sara at Think Pink blogs honestly and heartwarmingly about her family. I love how much she loves her little girl... and goshdarnit it makes me really want to have one of my own!

Hilary at A Look Into Our Lives has had some really amazing answers to prayer lately. Her miraculous nephew was just born a week ago, and she's watched God work in her family again and again. She's insightful, and always gives God the glory.

These chicks are definitely Superior Scribblers!

Thanks so much Mimi!

Remember?

Remember that Not Me Monday?
Yeah... like two days ago - it's been a long week already.
When Itty Bit decided he wanted to play by himself in his room?

I love sneaking up on him and catching him being good.
Usually because there's just so many darn things he could be doing not good.

Like dismantling the cute (cheap) tent on his bed.
Making the stuffed animals act out the "predator vs. prey" thing on the nature channel.
Destroying his neatly made bed (uhh... it's only neat because he doesn't sleep in it).
Or scaling the furniture against the wall to reach his piggy bank... which is his SECOND one (the first one is in a million pieces, don't ask).

Instead I find my sweet boy taking care of his stuffed animals and introducing them to his tent kingdom. Which also includes a toy tractor, various foam balls, and a bag of mini rice cakes.

Wait a minute.

A bag of mini rice cakes?

I didn't give him one. Strange.

UGHHH.

(read: the buckaroo has hit a growth spurt and has challenged my kidproofing lately)

I digress.

I glimpse him checking out the big cow (the stuffed animal - he didn't know I was in the room yet thankyouverymuch).

Then he's explaining to his puppy that it's a John Deere tractor.



Then my cover is blown.


BUSTED!

~


"MOMMY! Come see my tent!"



Of course as soon as I'm within reach he wants me to load him up with all the stuffed animals.


Whew. If only all of motherhood's tasks were this simple!

(sorry for the dimness... flash kinda thwarts being sneaky with the camera!)

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Not Me Monday! *UPDATED*



Where did the week go? It’s already Not Me Monday again!

It was not me who went nuts driving by a construction site: knocking on the window like a crazy monkey and yelling,
BACKHOE! DUMP TRUCK! BULLDOZER!”
to realize that Itty Bit was not even with me… Old habits die hard.

It was not me who about wrecked the car when I realized Itty Bit was trying to rap along with a funny song. If he’d been doing that, it would have been hilarious watching him bob his head to the beat and rap 2-year old gibberish. Didn’t happen. But, you know, if it had… it would have been “Church Hoppers” by the Christian rap artist D-Boy.

Not me who actually got a little wounded when Itty Bit said “Mommy, out” while playing in his bedroom today. Cuz it’s a good thing he’s liking his room and playing independently, right? And I didn’t go check on him a million times because he wouldn’t be doing anything crazy like unscrewing the light switch or gnawing the paint off the trim, right?

It was not me who’d had too much quality time with the laundry and forgot to bring the last load out of the laundry room. So it was not me who found my husband asleep… on the mattress… with no sheets on the bed. Good grief, I’m a better housekeeper than that, right?

Sure wouldn’t be me who’s been prompting the kiddo to

“Come on, cry! You can do it honey! Show mommy!”
Cuz he just learned how to Fake Cry and it’s so stinkin’ cute.
He did not learn it by imitating a cousin’s meltdown. He did not garner a bunch of laughs and thereby assure us that this will be a trick to be used many a time in the future.

It was not me who found Itty Bit upset and checked him out despite Mr. Daddy’s insistence that he was most obviously Fake Crying.
When I noticed a wide cut across his knuckle, I most assuredly was not the one who said pointedly, “Look, this is why he was crying”.
Itty Bit promptly asked for a bandaid, and as I was obliging… it wasn’t me who noticed that the “owie” was really a smear of red licorice (courtesy of Grandma). Even though it didn’t happen… Itty Bit is still running around with a purple bandaid on his finger.

Despite my husband’s prowess with all things related to hunting and gathering… this city chick was still unprepared. It was not me who opened the refrigerator and flipped out about the fresh deer heart in a ziplock baggie. I mean, if I had – it would have been totally understandable, right?

What did you not do this week?

*UPDATED to add the requested video of Itty Bit not Fake Crying...

Tagged!

Killlashandra from Southwest Photo Memories tagged us for six random things.

Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person(s) who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they've been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up!

We've learned new things about Killlashandra already and put our heads together to come up with some (hopefully new) random stuff about us:

1. Mr. Daddy has learned to like having to watch all movies with closed captioning.

2. His Dutiful Wife has learned to like asking for senior citizen discounts for him when dining out.

3. Dutiful Wife can also burp on command.

4. Mr. Daddy recently googled “Cholocate S*x” and lived to tell about it (uhh, thanks
Stacy and Melody?!?)

5. Mr. Daddy has a thing about being early… Dutiful Wife has a thing about kinda being late. Which makes the two of them usually kinda late.

6. Itty Bit is known for his “bedtime dance”… which consists of hop/running in circles until he falls down.



Who to tag?

Stacy at the Land of K.A.
Lindy at Our Family Joy
Lisa at Whale's Tales
Steve & Jessica at SRJR02
Trina at Jophie's Jungle
Sara at Think Pink

As always - join if you'd like - no pressure!

Saturday, November 01, 2008

An Easy Vote

New header... yea or nay?

I didn't get the creative genes in the family and I would be embarrassed to say how long this took me.

So drop me a line friends - and tell me whether we should stick with this one or you liked the old one better. Won't hurt my feelings either way :)

~


Here's my favorite moment from today: