Friday, January 16, 2009

Boy's night (redneck style)

As most of you don't know Rach was off last night right after work, to help a friend (single lady who is adopting) with her new baby,
And from her stories when she got home, the help was truly appreciated. Now this friend is a classy lady, with honorable intentions, but I got to say from the stories I heard, I think that some classes in rollin' up the sleeve and getting your hands dirty are in order.

Now being a truly concerned for my wife's friend, I offered to assist with lessons. I thought that cleaning the barn would certainly toughen the sense of smell, and assist with the gag reflex. And if she was up for a stroll, and can maintain silence for more than a minute or two, she could tag along on a hunting or fishing trip to help with the field dressing. (that would be gutting them out) to build up her resistance to the sight of blood. (And if she cuts too deep, definitely the gag reflex) and not to sound like I'm being chauvinistic... and if she wants to learn to enjoy the complete experience, and set her own hook or shoot her own game. I will go the extra mile for that too. :o)

So friend I'm not picking on you , I'm just saying that even an old Redneck knows they ain't made of porcelain, and if they poop, ya just got to roll up yer sleeves and Get-r-Done!!! Just ask Rach, it didn't work for me to just don't hold him at arms length and ask what do I do???? And a bath ain't done with a sponge!!!! I guess if you want to visit for some Big Brother time, there is another little packer and fisherman in the future to help Itty Bit and Cutie Left :o)

To the boy's night: I headed straight home to pick up Itty Bit. On the way I was planning what type on reveling and debauchery we would get into (how big of a mess were we going to make for dinner, and what beverage we would consume?) "apple or orange juice". He opted for soymilk with a splash of chocolate. (*thanks Ah-ma* I don't consider that a manly beverage at all) but he likes it.

I'm trying to figure out what's for dinner, cause he can be a very finicky eater. I finally decide on Tuna mixed with Mayo, on crackers. I know, a culinary challenge, but hey it's for my boy and I am up for it. I add the soda crackers and a side dish of sweet pickles, and voila, a feast fit for a couple of bachelors!!!! Off to the living room to camp in front of the tube, with the fine thriller The Incredibles, and we are set to veg out and enjoy some quality macho time....

after one cracker with tuna and one small sweet pickle, I feel worse than the first cook, culled from the Top Chef's challenge! Not to mention the fact that Rach ain't gonna be happy with that little for dinner. (was already thinking that my choice of cuisine might be a little issue.) As I'm wondering what else to make for him, I figure to finish off the rest of my crackers (the tuna is gone) a little peanut butter and milk will really hit the spot. "he likes that too") I make the first one and being a quasi-good Dad I offer the first one to him, he takes it and says PeeButter bite, I translate it to wanting a bite right off the butter knife. (I know BAD Daddy) BUT IT'S BOY'S NIGHT!!!!! so I cave, (in my defense I didn't let him handle the butter knife.)

Give me credit here, I know that one cracker, (even with tuna on it,) a sweet pickle, and a little peanut butter and maybe a cracker, is not gonna save my sorry behind from the wrath of Rach. She may be deaf but she has the main food groups down pretty good.

Suddenly a stroke of pure genius, there are chicken nuggets in the freezer!! [put them there myself] :o) throw a couple of them puppies in the micro, nuke for thirty or so, and redemption...

DENIED!!!! :o(

Itty Bit is not interested, all he wants is PEEBUTTER....

Now Lady's and Gent's here is were Redneck intellect and pure gut instinct surpasses mere pure genius!!!!!


was pure delight to a two year olds palate :o)

Mission accomplished.

As we lay in a glutinous and soy milk induced stupor.

I reflected: the only thing that could of made it better was if Mom was here to enjoy it..

1 comment:

Killlashandra said...

Wonderful post! I think someone with a newborn who hasn't cleaned up spit up, throw up, poopy diapers at least one other time in their life is probably in for a surprise. Babysitting in high school is such a learning experience. Convinced me I didn't need kids until I was 30!

Well, I know how those dinners go too. I love the peanut butter on chicken nuggets though!