Come join MckMama for some free therapy!
So... I felt kinda bad last week with only one Not Me. I know y'all have come to depend on the showcase of all my non-awesome moments to reaffirm that you are far more normal. Don't worry, this week, I did not do a buttload of dumb stuff. (Oh my gosh, I did not just type "buttload" on my blog. Sorry Linny).
Whoa baby! Not me who had a girly-girl moment at work this week. While washing my hands in the ladies bathroom, it was not me who barely stifled a scream when I looked down to see a GINORMOUS spider looking right back up at me.
It was not me who then did the most perfectly logical thing and threw my paper towel at it.
And it certainly was NOT me who proceeded to scream like said girly-girl anyway when the paper towel started to crawl away!
Seriously, what kind of steroids are spiders on these days???
So, remember back when I ran into that nurse who took me to task over the 30 pounds I gained with Itty Bit? Umm yeah… it was not me who found my online medical record and it showed I gained 42 stinking pounds!
It is not me who is TOTALLY subtracting the 8 pounds I had lost just before I found out I was pregnant. Cuz that would have been my skinny weight, not my normal weight. They can’t count that, right? And 34 pounds sounds so much better.
It is not me who is still carrying any of that around… and it has not migrated from my formerly shapely tush to my currently unshapely waist.
I did not just admit that.
I do not think it is hilarious that Mr. Daddy sends text messages to me at the office on Friday mornings when he stays home with Itty Bit.
I did not giggle out loud at my desk this week when the first four messages were increasingly panicked:
Hows ur AM? Wheres Bob the Builder?
Do u know where Bob the Builder is?
Laundry? Y wld Bob the Builder b in the laundry???
Ok, found Bob the Builder.
I did not chuckle over the “emergency”, then totally lose it when the next message said this:
OMG! Tris just laid down in the bathtub and peed straight up!
Cuz I’m waaay more mature than that. And I sure as heck did not show every woman in my office that text message…
I did not let my kid watch Madagascar four times yesterday.
Not me who has to buy another laundry basket, because said kid did not claim it as his Madagascar watching “chair”.
And it certainly was not me who was mentally giving myself a Mother of the Year Award for being such a fun mom and jumping on the bed with Itty Bit.
Three seconds later, it was not both of us sitting in shocked silence with bloody lips from smacking heads.
Bah – who needs that silly award anyway?
Not me who unwittingly snapped a perfect picture of Mr. Daddy's submission as Father of the Year. That's right folks... he is NOT in the act of launching a snowball at an unsuspecting Itty Bit. I did not narrowly avoid the same fate by shrieking "the camera, the camera!"
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So… go check out what everyone else didn’t do this week!