Sunday, March 15, 2009

Not Me Monday!

It’s Not Me Monday again!

Come join MckMama for some free therapy!

So... I felt kinda bad last week with only one Not Me. I know y'all have come to depend on the showcase of all my non-awesome moments to reaffirm that you are far more normal. Don't worry, this week, I did not do a buttload of dumb stuff. (Oh my gosh, I did not just type "buttload" on my blog. Sorry Linny).


Whoa baby! Not me who had a girly-girl moment at work this week. While washing my hands in the ladies bathroom, it was not me who barely stifled a scream when I looked down to see a GINORMOUS spider looking right back up at me.

It was not me who then did the most perfectly logical thing and threw my paper towel at it.

And it certainly was NOT me who proceeded to scream like said girly-girl anyway when the paper towel started to crawl away!

Seriously, what kind of steroids are spiders on these days???


So, remember back when I ran into that nurse who took me to task over the 30 pounds I gained with Itty Bit? Umm yeah… it was not me who found my online medical record and it showed I gained 42 stinking pounds!

It is not me who is TOTALLY subtracting the 8 pounds I had lost just before I found out I was pregnant. Cuz that would have been my skinny weight, not my normal weight. They can’t count that, right? And 34 pounds sounds so much better.

It is not me who is still carrying any of that around… and it has not migrated from my formerly shapely tush to my currently unshapely waist.

I did not just admit that.


I do not think it is hilarious that Mr. Daddy sends text messages to me at the office on Friday mornings when he stays home with Itty Bit.

I did not giggle out loud at my desk this week when the first four messages were increasingly panicked:

Hows ur AM? Wheres Bob the Builder?
Do u know where Bob the Builder is?
Laundry? Y wld Bob the Builder b in the laundry???
Ok, found Bob the Builder.

I did not chuckle over the “emergency”, then totally lose it when the next message said this:

OMG! Tris just laid down in the bathtub and peed straight up!

Cuz I’m waaay more mature than that. And I sure as heck did not show every woman in my office that text message…


I did not let my kid watch Madagascar four times yesterday.


Not me who has to buy another laundry basket, because said kid did not claim it as his Madagascar watching “chair”.


And it certainly was not me who was mentally giving myself a Mother of the Year Award for being such a fun mom and jumping on the bed with Itty Bit.

Three seconds later, it was not both of us sitting in shocked silence with bloody lips from smacking heads.

Bah – who needs that silly award anyway?


Not me who unwittingly snapped a perfect picture of Mr. Daddy's submission as Father of the Year. That's right folks... he is NOT in the act of launching a snowball at an unsuspecting Itty Bit. I did not narrowly avoid the same fate by shrieking "the camera, the camera!"


Before you go... check out our 300th post giveaway! You'll be supporting a really cool stay-at-home Mom with her Etsy business, and possibly winning an uber-cute gift!

So… go check out what everyone else didn’t do this week!


Elyse said...

I so did not just start singing the Bob the Builder song :) I am way more mature than that :) Mr. Daddy has me in sitches tonight. He is hilarious!
Have a great Monday!

Pam D said...

*snicker* Oh, those dads... ! lol!
Ummm... it wasn't ME who let my bug hunter watch FIVE episodes of "Lost in Space" today.. (at about an hour each...!). And it certainly WASN'T me who bought Seasons 1, 2, AND 3 on DVD..(hey, Will Robinson is a MUCH better role model than, say... Spongebob, or Ed,Edd and Eddy!) So I can totally overlook the Madagascar festival. I'm not yet sure that I can forgive the fact that, after several years, I am now hearing "Bob the Builder.. YES WE CAN!!" in my head.. but I'll get over it! Happy Monday....

Elaine at Matters of the Heart) said...

You are cracking me up. Love the phone calls I get when my Mister is watching the kids, sounds just like your texts...

Paige said...

Great post Rachel! It gave me a good laugh before heading to bed tonight. I read it outloud to my husband and he laughed along with me. And don't feel bad about Madagascar. My kids watched Nanny McPhee twice and too many episodes of Little Bear to count! (Where would I be without Comcast On Demand)

Carebear said...

GREAT Not mes this week! I LOL'd at your text messages. Love the pics of jumping on the bed. Oh, and my little Beast is a Madagascar FANATIC. Those cartoon animals are like the Beatles to him. I know it's a fairly inappropriate movie for his age, but my mom showed it to him, and he loved it so much we had to get the movie from her and keep it. Then we actually took Beast to see part 2 AT THE THEATER. It's the first movie he ever saw there. And the original is the first DVD besides Baby Einstein he ever cared about. Special place in my heart for Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman, LOL!

He & Me + 3 said...

We do not have text messaging on my phone, but I would have done the same thing...I think that is hilarious. Loved your lists...He is adorable in his new Madagascar chair. I have never gotten bloody lips from jumping on the bed with my kids wait, I was just standing there waiting for them to fall off & hit me and give me a bloody lip, yeah, that's how it happens around here. LOL
You are so funny my friend!

Rissa said...

Love your not me's.. love the bob the builder texts.. funny how DADs sometimes seem to have a more diffuicult time mangaging then mommies huh?? Love tris's new "Chair" its totallly rockin...
Hope your having a great week!

Kelli W said...

Great Not Me's!! I so would have run and screamed like a girl if I had seen a spider on steroids!!What is it with kids and laundry boys love to play with mine!!

Kameron said...

Bob the Builder crisis' are to be taken very seriously! If Nathan ever can't find his bankalee (blanky) life as we know it is over, so I understand! Did you get your shirts? Oh, I am so impatient!!

Sarah said...

I'm totally NOT laughing at the peeing in the bathtub. It's NOT funny, at all.

Anonymous said...

Okay, it was NOT ME who laughed in remembrance of my littlest grandson ALSO peeing straight up in the bathtub like Itty Bit did--pleased with his impromptu "fountain". And it was most certainly NOT ME who then laughed hysterically, once again, to remember that the same, now 3year-old, grandson was found scrubbing his privates in the bathtub last week--with his father's toothbrush. (It was also NOT ME who continued laughing, helplessly, over his father saying, "The BAD thing is that I don't know how many baths he's used my toothbrush for...or whether he did his backside too!!)

Stacy said...

Love the "caught in the act" shot of Mr. Daddy and Itty Bit...perfect shot to show Itty Bit why he should always love you more LOL! ;)

I am in the same predicament with the weight, too. I gained 40 - 43 lbs with both my kids. I lost it while nursing, but I didn't cut back the food after I weaned and gained some weight back. I just wish the kids would eat more veggies and less pasta so I didn't have so many carbs floating around the dinner plate.

Killlashandra said...

W.W. would still be sitting in laundry baskets if he could fit that's for sure. ;) He's also just beginning the bob the builder phase. I had a hard time escapting the library the other day as W.W. wanted the VHS tape of bob the builder, which we can plan at home. I found a Thomas the Train DVD, but of course, it was not hte same. LOL

Lisa said...

LOVE the post! Can't believe Mr. Daddy would throw a snow ball at unsuspecting Itty Bit! That was too cute! I am a girly girl about ALL insects too! Nothing wrong with that, is there?!?

Emily said...

Too funny! Sounds like Mr Daddy's a real hoot. And I would have completely run screaming at the sight of a spider, or any creepy-crawly thing as well!

Unknown said...

OMG I laughed so loud I mighta woke someone up! The peeing straight up got me in trouble! I love it! Thanks for the laugh ~ Have a great week!

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