Monday, March 23, 2009

True Story Tuesday


I can hardly believe it’s here! Our first True Story Tuesday!

It started as a quandary of where to put those randomly remembered stories that seemed they were too good, too funny, or too amazing to be true.

And it seemed like every Monday, I was reading friends’ blogs that often contained the punchlines to Not Me’s, but rarely the whole story.

Or on Thankful Thursdays that hinted at some miraculous moments.

So… please join along! Share a link to your post about anything amazing, outrageous, hilarious, embarrassing, or miraculous, and mostly-true that has happened to you!

I know there’s a zillion great stories already written buried in your old posts… so it would be easy-peasy to just link up and share your stuff!

I’m trying my hand at the Mr. Linky (oh please work!) down below, and diving into the deep deep waters of mortification and juvenile humor for this week…

Without further ado, I give you, “GO LONG!”

By way of explanation, there is a chunk of my teen years that I thought would be far more glamorous. A pageant would be all about evening gowns, bouquets, and waving to my adoring fans at parades, right?

Umm, not quite.

It was a scholarship pageant – giving me funds toward my future college degree. Only it required 1,728,392 hours of public service in various forms. Often I traveled to speak to large groups of schoolchildren who asked questions like:

“Do you have a dog?” (all important)

“Do you know Cinderella?”

“Does your tiara have REAL diamonds?”

And my personal favorite:
“Are you 39 years old yet?”

While I loved those times with the kids, the schedule could be overwhelming. I was taking honors courses in high school, working part time, dancing with a ballet company, and active in our church youth group. It was grueling.

I had a hardworking and sweet chaperone, C-Chick, who was to accompany me to each of these events. We traveled as far from the west coast as Tennessee and probably made over 50 stops in under a year.

Trust me, standing in taffeta and heels for hours is a tad bit overrated. So… the two of us often made our own fun.

Granted, on one such trip we were a bit stir crazy from all the time on the road. At our next stop, C-Chick's very professional brother and his wife picked us up in their new Beemer.

Beemer!?! I’d never been in one! I giggled and sat wide-eyed in the cream leather backseat.

They said they’d just purchased the car from a doctor. It was luxurious and I was afraid to touch anything. Just picture me acting a bit doofy in beautiful surroundings a’la Pretty Woman.

I said to C-Chick, “Wow, this is amazing!”, then felt something against my shoe.

I reached down and nearly recoiled at the gooey stuff, but the “thing” was half wedged under the driver’s seat.

It stretched like a rubberband and felt slightly tacky… I gave a good tug and finally looked at the freed curiosity in my hand.

It looked like some sort of squishy disc. Maybe a dog toy or ??

And glamorous, mature, professional me: I began to giggle and told C-Chick… “GO LONG BABY!” as I tossed the disc to her.

She caught it and started to laugh herself. She pulled it, bounced it, tossed it, and soon we were playing an animated game of badminton in the backseat.

I noticed that C-Chick’s Mr. Successful Brother and his wife were awfully quiet. I could see them exchanging quick looks and he seemed to be watching the mischief intently from his rearview mirror.

We were being awfully raucous in comparison to their silence, which slowly became more uncomfortable.

After several turns of “use it for a Mr. Potato Head facial feature”, a gradual realization of our plaything’s true purpose became apparent. It was too late.

C-Chick bounced it high and wide and it sailed into the front seat. Her brother’s wife quietly tucked it into the glove compartment.

“The doctor must have left it”.

How were we to know that we had been amusing ourselves for a full 30 minutes, while the poor woman watched in misery… waiting to reclaim her mastectomy prosthesis?

~

What would you have done? I mean, you probably would never have picked up the thing to begin with, but what if you were busted?

Believe me you… it was a quiet rest of the ride.

~

So… that was an old embarrassing, but true moment. What is your True Story for today?
Just link to your post, grab our button on the side, and check out some others… I promise, I have some funny and amazing friends – you won’t be disappointed.

14 comments:

Pam D said...

Rachel, how can I even come close to that one? Mine is no where near as funny... but I'm in the game. I'm looking forward to reading what everyone else has to say, too.. I could use some good laughs! Love you...

Shanda said...

Oh dear...what a moment! I would imagine that taffeta & heels for long periods of time would get old, but what a special time too!

I pulled one from the "archives." It is from just before Christmas. NOT as funny as yours though!!

Rachel said...

I am already loving the variety and humor of your links, ladies! Thanks so much for joining up - I look forward to learning all these great TRUE things about you!

Stacy said...

Oh dear! I don't know how I could ever top that one! That sounds like quite a lot of work for a scholarship, so I hope you got it after all that. :)

I pulled one from the archives today. I'm having a hard time coming up with something funny lately. NOt that my kids don't come up with funny things, I just don't remember to write them down and I can't remember anything these days. ;)

He And Me + 3 said...

You are too funny. How could the doctor forget something so important in his car? LOL
Glad it didn't pop or break...poor girl.
It is never dull in your life.

wife.mom.nurse said...

Oh, you are the true story girl. Yeah!!

I just read Elaines...I will have to come back...I am off to work!

I loved your story...for some reason my mind was thinking it was her diaphram. What it actually was turned out only to be a little bit better. YIKES! LOL!!!

I'll be back and by the way, love your I heart faces entry!

jennykate77 said...

Too funny!

I'm so coming to play along next week!

Pam said...

The more important question would be~~How in the world did the woman LOSE her prosthesis in the new car wedged under the drivers seat? Very interesting point to ponder, now isn't it!

Or, let me just come right out and say it~~How'd the chick lose her boob in the car and what was she doing that distracted her so much that she forgot it?

Rachel said...

Oh Lordy... I am laughing so hard I'm crying. I have not laughed this hard in a loooong time. Thanks Pam for those comments... makes me feel quite a bit better about my own embarrassment.

You need to write a book girl, you are quick on your feet :)

Whew, glad I got THAT off my "chest", LOL

Lisa said...

I didn't have time to get a post in this week, but will have one ready for next time. Just wanted to pop in and show some love! I laughed SO hard at your story, I almost busted a gut. Really, I snorted HARD.

melody is slurping life said...

LOL LOL!

What a fun idea. I'm getting back into the swing of things and hope to join in this soon. Fun!

Carebear said...

Ba-ha-ha-ha!!!! You're going to make me wake the kids with my laughing out loud! This is one of the best stories EVER. Love it madly!

Can't believe I missed the first True Story Tuesday! Darn it, darn it, darn it!!! But i couldn't have topped your story anyway, so I'll have to think hard for a really good one for next Tuesday!

Paige said...

I made it! It's still Tuesday, right?

Heather said...

Oh man, I can't believe that story!!!! Hilarious! Yeah, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to top that. But I'll try next week. Hey, this could turn out to be as popular as Not Me! Mondays. Wouldn't that be fun???

And hey, how did you get that rotating label cloud????