Sunday, April 05, 2009

Not Me Monday!

MckMama is still with Stellan in the hospital, so please join in praying for a miracle for his heart. Click on his button on the sidebar for updates.

On a lighter note: this week was not one long NOT ME MONDAY after another. Lemme tell ya, it was exhausting and expensive. Though I will admit that I chose to laugh instead of cry for the most part... what else can you do?!

Hopefully none of these happened to you this last week either!

~

If you’d been in the animal feed store this afternoon, you would not have overheard this conversation:

Me: I’d like two bags of beet pulp please.
Salesguy: Okay. That’s TWO bags, right?
Me: Yes, sir.

(uncomfortable pause)

Me: (singing off key) "Yes sir, yes sir two bags full!”

Course not. Cuz deaf chicks don’t sing nursery rhymes in farm supply stores, right?

~


Y'all know how uptight I am. No way I'd let my kiddo get a duckbill haircut and say "why not" to some blue hair paint. Would definitely have cleared something like that
with Mr. Daddy ahead of time.
Certainly wouldn't have blogged about it and ratted myself out either... nor gotten a bit teary-eyed when reading the sweet comments lamenting how much older the kiddo looks....


~
Everyone’s shopping smarter in this economy, right? Not like I was super excited to find a roast perfect for a slowcooker dinner… at a 60% off meat sale at our grocery store. I don’t get excited about stuff like that.

And I’m not into slowcooker recipes, cuz I’m not all about EASY (no cracks about that please).

So… imagine my non-existent dismay when I left said roast in the slowcooker for two hours, went to check it, and realized that the stupid plastic absorbent thingie was still stuck to the bottom of the roast!

Of course I wouldn’t do a dumb thing like that and cook a hunk of meat with that silly thing that really qualifies as a meat diaper (it absorbs gross stuff, need I say more?)

ARGH!!!

~

After Itty Bit created more of these:

I did not toss one over to the horses.

Well, more like stood on our porch and threw it with all my might in hopes to clear the fence.

Instead, I did not bean my poor horse directly in the neck so hard that the apple exploded and sent her running for cover. I mean, she has enough things to be afraid of, not like random apple attacks need to be added to that list!

~

While stepping into my shoes, I did not sense a

WHACK
WHACK
WHACK

And automatically call out “GENTLE!” to Itty Bit.

I did not step into the living room to see him standing in rapt attention at the tv.

You know, our “first big purchase when we got married” flat screen tv.

Yeah, with a remote on the floor next to him.

And a GIANT GLOWING SMASHED MESS OF CRACKS ON THE SCREEN.

~

We did not spend the evening chasing Itty Bit around Best Buy and watching him crawl behind a display, emerge with a loose cable, and suddenly ALL of the tv’s in the store were broadcasting snow.

Good Lord. Can one child wreak that much havoc?

Nevermind. Don’t answer that.

~

So… go check out what everyone else didn’t do this week!


~

Hey y’all – come back tomorrow for this week’s True Story Tuesdays – where we link to stories that actually happened… ya know, in real life. Join in – we’d love to hear the unedited version of a Not Me episode!

10 comments:

Elaine at Matters of the Heart) said...

You just crack me up. I still love the little guys hair.

Lisa said...

Oh, how funny! Poor horse, she never knew what "hit" her! (Couldn't resist!) And I see a definate future in Cable Repair for Itty Bit! Well, either that or he secretly works for Best Buy and has Top Secret missions to destroy parental property, forcing them to buy new stuff for him to destroy in the future! LOL

Alicia said...

One of my husbands worst fears is Brea messing up his HD TV. He is more protective over that thing than our own children it seems. Girl, That part of itty bit crawling behind all the t.v's at best buy had me totally shaking my head! I think the reason why Brea has never been in a place like that is because I KNOW she would do that and end up causing some major damage, lol. Bless your heart! Great Not Me's Rachel!!

tollesons4him said...

The feed store story was really funny, and I am singing off key with ya!!
Love the haircut and the blue it looks cute!!!
Great not me's!!!

Maddy said...

It's worse if you cook the chicken with a second secret little baggy thing tucked away in side. At least you can peel off the plastic but gizzard bits, liver and heart tend to have a more permanent flavour that isn't really an enhancement.
Cheers

Pam D said...

Ahhhh! I can't pick a favorite! Poor horse.. what a shock (I accidentally sprayed the gecko full-on in the face with water and sent HIM running for cover, but that's not even close!). And the roast... haven't done that, but I'm with the other posters who HAVE cooked a chicken with the bag of innards still in there. Fortunately, it was just for hubs and me... unlike my poor sis-in-law, who had to endure the ribbing of the whole family when SHE did it. As for the total TV havoc.. wow. Just wow. I cannot say more... just... wow. !!! Happy Monday! (put the remote up waaaayy high.... I'm just sayin'..)

Sandi @ Life with Jessica said...

Oh my gosh this left me laughing!!! Especially about you beaning the poor horse with the apple, LOL!

Sorry about your TV! I do feel better though knowing my child isn't alone in causing mass destruction :-)

He And Me + 3 said...

You are cracking me up. Itty Bitty and Stunt Man would get along so well. If we lived near each other we may be banned from all stores with our boys. LOL

Pam said...

BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm rolling here! He wrecked the coveted flat screen at home and ya still took him into Best Buy.

BAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wasn't the Baby Gap on a leash bad enough?

BAHHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously, are you banned from Best Buy now after he sent the entire store into white-out mode?

Love ya!

Stacy said...

Oh my goodness...that is quite the week! When Brian and I got our humongous tv in 2000 we got a special plastic screen to go over the top and it sure was needed! Now our flat screen is mounted above the fireplace. It should be safe there. ;)

I love itty bit's new hairdo, he looks so CUTE. I even love the blue...he's rockin' his new hairstyle.

LOL about beaning your horse, too! That's about as good of aim as I have!