Monday, April 27, 2009

True Story Tuesday

Hey y’all, ready for this week’s True Story Tuesday?

It’s a chance to give us the whole story of what exactly happened on that Not Me Monday. Or to share what seems too amazing/outrageous/miraculous to have happened in real life.

I know there’s a zillion great stories already written buried in your old posts… so it would be easy-peasy to just link up and share your stuff! So please join along! Grab the button and share a link to your post about anything amazing, outrageous, hilarious, embarrassing, or miraculous, (and mostly-true) that has happened to you!




PECKING PHOBIA


Remember I said I had a slight thing about angry birds?

Maybe it’s because a good number of those feathered creatures apparently do not like me.

You know those people who always tell you that animals can sense when you’re afraid? (yeah, our neighbor told me that when I was 5-years old when his big german shepherd was acting like he wanted to take my head off… gee thanks Mister, now I’m not any less afraid!)

Well, I could swear it’s true about birds too.

Now why would I be afraid of them?

~

Maybe because an aunt used to have exotic birds… one of which would rip out the other birds’ talons and leave a bloody mess.


Want to hold the bird?
Uhh, no thanks.


~

Or that little incident where the same aunt’s daughter closed me in with an angry mama chicken after she’d handed me a peeping chick. Did you know that feathers are actually sharp enough to cut?

~

Or maybe because I’d gotten in the middle of one (or twenty) too many Duck Wars where the mamas would attack anything nearby. Trust me, duck pecks hurt worse than chicken pecks. You know those self-defense classes where they teach the "Grab-Twist-and-Pull" method? Well, I think they got it from ducks.


(you're right, these are mallards, but the girls are even meaner)


~

Or how about this one… our giant tom turkey fell in love with my sister and would charge at anyone near her with astonishing speed. That long gobbledy neck, beady eyes, open beak… *shudder*




~

Or possibly from the time the same turkey tried to fly up on my sister’s back… when she stood up, he slid down and raked her back bloody. Yeah, that’s something you don’t forget.

~

Oh wait… I think I’ve got it.


SCENE:

I was about seven years old, so let’s just pretend that was only 20 years ago. On location at the marvelous San Diego Zoo. More specifically, next to the insane monkey exhibit. I’m pretty sure they were certifiably bonkers…loud enough to scare the living daylights out of a deaf kid. Something like a “HOOO-Whuh-Whuh-Whuh”… only non-stop and seemingly amplified across the entire square.

I was totally absorbed… watching them intently. Completely intimidated by their volume and manic swinging and jumping from every corner of the exhibit.

My hotdog stood at the ready, perched in my hand, heading for a first bite.

(You know how when you’re distracted with something, a tiny little thing can startle the heck out of you?)

Suddenly a giant white thing was in my face, my thumb hurt like the dickens, and a totally unfamiliar object struck my cheek.

Would you believe a giant seagull had swooped down and taken my entire hotdog right out of the bun?

Before I’d even had a bite.



To add insult to injury, he’d bitten my thumb and smacked me in the face. And the rascal made a clean getaway.

My family was shocked. I turned on the tears… at first out of sheer fright, but I quickly regrouped and aimed for replacing the hotdog with an Icee :)

~

Big angry birds are bad.

Any questions?

~

Sooo… I know you can outdo this! Join along and share your outrageous/miraculous/amazing story! Don’t worry… I think Mr. Daddy will be back next week!

18 comments:

Lisa said...

I have never seen an angry bird, but I learned from your post and I will be careful...especially with the blue heron in our backyard who stands by the pond.

I love the idea of True story Tuesday and I wanted to link up but I do not know your link, if you could let me know I will post it. The link I thought it was did not link back to your blog.

Kameron said...

It is not normal to have that many strange encounters with birds. I'm pretty sure you qualify for some kind of Ripley's believe it or not medal!! I hate birds. They freak me out and I don't blame you for being scared of them.

I will try to come up with something funny to post today if I get a second!

Alicia said...

Birds freak me out too. You never know what the hell they are thinking and if they are going to use your head as a freakin porta potty. Bunch of feathered freaks! LOL

Alicia said...

P.S I DID get my magnets and LOVE LOVE LOVE them! I'm trying to compile a giveaway post and I'll be sure to take a pic of them so you can see how CUTE they are. Thanks again - I love that I won that giveaway through off your blog.

Stacy said...

I can totally see why you are afraid of big angry birds. You have had more than your fair share of encounters...with the scars to prove it!

We have lots and lots of geese around here. When the babies are born you have to watch out for the angry mama birds.

I'm not really intimidated by many animals, though. I guess growing up with so many different kinds and interacting with them just made me pretty comfortable with them. I have really no qualms of hurting them if they try to hurt me...so maybe that's why? Some animals are just mean and need a bit of educatin'. ;)

Pam D said...

Hmm... until you mentioned it, I never really put together how many scary, angry birds are all around us! I was nipped by a parakeet when I was little, chased by a Canada goose (those things are BIG and very mean), and watched a blue heron snatch a seagull out of the air and shake him like a dog toy when the gull was trying to steal his food. And flocks of gulls.. oh, they can be ominous, yes they can! You have some seriously funny bird encounters.. I can always count on you for a laugh. Today? I don't have a laugh anywhere on me. Can't come up with funny... or goofy, or much of anything. I think that this week qualifies me as a "blah-ger" instead of a blogger. *sigh* Tomorrow's another day....

He And Me + 3 said...

LOL OMGosh....seriously. I felt like I was reading a scene from the movie The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock. Scary. At the Park...the ducks always chase Stunt Man...I scream like a little girl "Run away Run away" Freaks me out. Atleast you don't have a bird pooped on me story.

Shanda said...

Wow! I don't know that I've really ever encountered any angry birds!

There was this time in Jamaica though when we were on our honeymoon. There was another couple getting married on the resort that we were staying and my brand new husband and I thought it would be sweet to watch them get married even though we didn't know them. As the bride began walking "down the isle," a huge seagull pooped right on her head! (I was horrified for her!!!) Of course all of the locals were trying to convince her that it was somehow a "blessing from the heavens" meaning that her marriage would be favored. (What a load of crap! pun intended!) She had a good sense of humor though and they tried to clean it up the best they could (but it was still quite obviously still in her hair and streaked down the back of her dress...) but they exchanged vows and just jumped into the pool - her dress was already ruined. Hopefully the locals were right! ;)

Elaine at Matters of the Heart) said...

Yeah, you and birds, just might not be the best thing. Sorry, but i had to laugh...

On my way to do a quick True Story Tuesday.

Lisa said...

I am scared of birds too! LOL They can be really freaky!

Femin Susan said...

I felt that I was reading a scene from the movie The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock. that was really very Scary.
Cheers!

wife.mom.nurse said...

LOL!

When we were at SeaWorld last month a seagull flew right away with a toddlers entire bread stick. You should have seen that kid run after that bird!

I'm not so much a bird fan either.


")

wife.mom.nurse said...

p.s. Mr. Daddy, that is my stethoscope on my post...and my gun.

I really try to avoid getting my pockets confused!

Melinda said...

LOL - you sure have had a lot of run-ins with angry birds. I don't even think I've been around that many birds, angry or not : )

Sara said...

I am not a fan of birds either. There is something about them that scare me....for instance, your story. That would have freaked me out.

Good story though! :)

Sara

Melissa said...

Wow this brings to mind many many animal stories I have...I DO NOT like any type of bird close to me at all! Although I do have bird feeders...just not chickens,turkeys, peacocks...you get the point! I'm with you on this story!

Melissa said...

Wooo that did not make much sense...it's late and I'm tires and I have appt @7:45am to have tooth pulled! Forgive my confusion!

Carebear said...

Darn. Missed it this week. Your story cracked me up (is that mean?!) I mean ouch at this part "he’d bitten my thumb and smacked me in the face" but also laughed out loud. Sorry ;-)