Not Me Monday

Craziness this week, I tell ya… craziness!

Would you believe it’s Not Me Monday already? I sure can’t.

Join MckMama for some more free therapy!

~

This week, it was not me who freaked out when her brand-spankin-new 3-year old smacked into the bathtub, then pronounced, “Me have a loose tooth!”

~

Not me who felt more than a little vilified when the “Independent Medical Examiner” caught a peek at my little bump on my wrist; winced and said to Mr. Daddy, “That’s BAAAAAD”

(ya think? check it out here if you’re not squeamish

~

Not me who let their kid play in a wading pool on a hot day this weekend. Cuz apparently that wading pool has been classified a “work of art” and you aren’t allowed to cool your heels in it anymore.

So that’s not my kid…

And that’s not my new camera that got soaked .4 seconds after this shot.

And that’s not my kid in front of the sign that says “stay out of our work of art”.

~

And our kid does not take after me. He did not fall down and get thoroughly soaked. Nor did he howl like we were beating him as we hauled his wet butt back to the car.

~

I did NOT get hit on by a woman this past week. Not me. Not STRAIGHT me. And Mr. Daddy is not NOT finished razzing me about it. And the comments on the post about the non-event were not almost as crazy as the fictitious story.

~

Is that really how you spell fictitious? Cuz my fingers were offended just trying to type it.

~

After the last post, my husband did not look at me in disbelief and say (and I quote), “Those ain’t YOUR feet, right?”

~

As totally “with it” as I am… I wouldn’t have only slightly panicked as I was driving in an unfamiliar town today, put on my sunglasses and suddenly couldn’t see.

(Can you imagine why a deaf person would kinda panic if they thought that was happening though?)

I did not rip the sunglasses off and get totally confused as to why it had happened; cuz suddenly I could see again.

It did not take several minutes to remember that I was wearing my contacts (cuz I was dancing, remember?) and I had just put my prescription sunglasses on - on top of them. Well, DUH.

~

Head over and see what everyone else didn’t do this week!

And don’t forget that tomorrow is True Story Tuesday! Where we share the REAL story behind a Not Me, or link to something outrageous, amazing, or hilarious – and mostly true! :) Still working on Mr. Daddy to make up for his missed post and write it tomorrow!

If something can go wrong...

in the world of Rachel; it can and most often will.

Today was no exception. To set the scene: last month, my mother begged, cajoled, pleaded, threatened to tell everyone my sleepwalking stories, asked me to dance at a women's church retreat for this weekend.

Remember this?

Well, I pretty much hung up these:

since then.

Somehow she got me to tentatively commit to performing a song that had many sign language parts and hopefully would spare my back from anything strenuous.

She's a sneaky one... she knew she had it in the bag even if it was only "tentatively".

So I worked for a month at really stretching, working my way through a few barre exercises in the living room.

But every time I turned the durned music on, some little squirt would come running and want to join in. Ever tried doing this:

When you've got competition for the dance floor?

(yes, I realize that my husband will not be speaking to me for the next few days... but will be glad to know that Itty Bit wanted it OFF!)

~

To top it off, we spent the WRONG day riding Kona, cantering her over trot poles, posting all over the place (those of you who have ridden - you can testify to how unbelievably sore you get, right?)

So I was barely able to walk for a week before this performance was scheduled.

And that lovely bump on my wrist (you're welcome for not posting that picture again), and the obnoxiously loud crack my shoulder and neck make every time I try to move... you can see this was going splendidly.

~

First things first... I had to figure out how to get there. Printed the directions off the camp website - no prob.

Oh wait... Mr. Daddy knows a shortcut. Of course he knows a shortcut. He's a man.

Well, that "shortcut" contained 27 additional turns for a town 34 minutes away. Oh yeah, throw in a couple of wrong road names and it's even more fun.

Folks, I spent the entire drive freaked out that I was gonna miss one of those 27 turns. And yep, it was a shortcut alright. I shaved 3 minutes off my route. Yeah, 180 stinkin' seconds.

~

Finally get there and do a quick sound check. I ask my mom, "what did we used to do for this part? I don't remember the choreography."

She shoots me a look, just as I remember.

Oh yeah.

Oh no.

"Honey, just try it."

"I haven't done that since before the accident."

"Just try it."

"Fine. Now how am I supposed to get up?"

Yes folks, after not dancing for 14 months, I temporarily lost my mind and went down into the splits.

And if my insurance adjuster is reading this - YES, it hurt like the dickens, and NO it didn't used to.

~

I get up there and the music starts.

Ever have something happen at the worst time? Like when your mouth goes dry?

Oh geez. I try to smile and my lips stick to my teeth. I can imagine the audience's confusion at the nervous deaf girl giving them a weird smile/grimace.

If you know anything about ballet, it is the art of doing something that requires an insane amount of control and strength, while making it look as if you are a dainty little butterfly.

By the first chorus - I can feel the entire year of not dancing catch up. I, for one, have not mastered the art of breathing through my pores - and am trying mightily not to gasp for air as my heart pounds and my mind tells my stomach: "throw up! throw up! abandon ship!" My back rails against me for deigning to attempt the splits again, and of course it's the perfect time for a panic attack of "what if I trip?"

~

I got through it. And I have more to post on it another time... about lessons learned. God picks funny times to teach, doesn't He?

~

And of course, in an effort to simplify my route home, I went looking to turn left on 153rd Street.

I drove and drove and finally passed 159th. Oh, I must be getting closer.

Drive drive drive.

Ooh, look at that horse bucking around in the arena next to the road! Fun!

Okay, just passed 184th Street.

UGH!!!

But before I could turn around, this knocked my socks off.

I think the detour was a blessing in disguise.

~

So how was your weekend?

You're Awe-Summ, and You're It!

Sweet Elyse from Following Him tagged us with the EIGHT THINGS questions. And in true Rachel fashion, I have only been able to get to them two weeks later, ha.

So… here goes!

Eight things I look forward to:

Mr. Daddy manning the grill all summer - the guy knows how to COOK!
Building a house this summer
Peonies blooming
Finally getting to take Kona through a jump course
Building a house this summer
Moms Night Out next week
Itty Bit’s first trip to SeaWorld
Building a house this summer – oh, did I mention that?


Eight things I did yesterday:
(umm, shouldn’t this be eighTY? I’m a mom, ya know)

Laundry
Picked up 294 toy cars and tractors up off the living room floor
Pretended I was a gourmet chef by putting fresh basil on some pizza
Drooled over the photos of an Etsy seller
Toured the smashed police cars lot – scary stuff
Made a huge train track in the living room with Itty Bit
Seriously contemplate eating brownies for dinner after a hard day at the office
Check Mr. Daddy’s smashed finger (it’s been a week dude - if it still hurts, you need to have it checked out!)


Eight things I wish I could do:

Hear
Swing dance
Barrel race
Sing
Visit Italy
Write a book
A really great adagio developpe a ‘la secconde (will only make sense to a balletomane)
Cook (though I’m getting better – last time hardly anyone got sick)


Eight shows I watch:
(I actually cannot remember the last time I watched an hour-long show… just no time – but here are a few favorites if I get a chance).

Ax Men (DVR episodes are pretty much the only one all three of us can sit through)
Top Chef (hey, it’s educational, right?)
Little People, Big World (though I haven’t seen it in ages)

Umm… seriously, I watch so little tv. Howsabout a few favorites from back before I became a mom and actually had an hour to myself?
ER
NCIS
CSI
Profiler
Pretender
(yeah, I’m dating myself)


Eight bloggers I tag:

Melissa from Home is Where your Story Begins
Paige from Happiness Is
Elaine from Matters of the Heart
Pam from Twenty Little Piggies
Dana from Chaos to Grace
Pam D from Life By the Creek
Julie from Wife.Mom.Nurse
Heather from Adventures of Aidanpod

~


And Melissa from Home is Where Your Story Begins and Shanda from A Teachable Heart received this Awe-Summ award (congrats!) and passed it on to us!

We’re supposed to list seven Awe-Summ things about ourselves. Talk about awkward, LOL… Bear with me, this could get bumpy ;)

1. I have pretty awesome taste in men. I picked me a keeper. Someone once said, “Marry someone who makes you laugh”. And I definitely did that.

2. I have an awesome family. And y’all know TMI about them already, haha.

3. I like to think my fajita recipe is the most awesome on the planet. I’m rather protective of it… and the women in my family have been known to (ahem) eat the sauce off the cast iron skillet with our fingers. (The side story to that, is poor clueless Mr. Daddy getting attacked by three crazed females screaming “STOPPPPP!” when he went to rinse the pan out). Fajitas = AWESOME!

4. I am awesome at amusing Sunday School kids. Which may or may not be such a good thing. I have no qualms about using squirt guns, smashing (uncooked) eggs, or helping duct tape kids to the wall (don’t worry, they beg for it).

5. I have an awesome horse. She literally would hurt herself to try to keep her rider seated. A horse like that is worth their weight in gold. How many bricks is 1100 pounds?

6. I have an awesome memory for song lyrics. Why this would be remotely useful for a deaf person is beyond me ;)

7. I am a planner extraordinaire of awesome parties! I love theme parties and have been known to wrangle church members in to a hula routine to “Ito Eats” by Elvis. (If I ever get that tape back, I most certainly will post it… it’s guaranteed wet-your-pants funny).

8. And of course I have the most awesome bloggy friends! So, considered yourselves all “awarded” – cuz this applies to you! Pick up the button and share your seven Awe-Summ things!

Thank you Elyse and Melissa and Shanda!

Part Deux

OH GOOD LORD... there is a part two???

Yes y'all - unbelievably, there is a part two to the ongoing saga from yesterday's post. You might wanna check it out if you haven't caught up.

So... thanks to Mr. Daddy, the entire extended family - down to cousins of the in-laws are now familiar with "the park incident".

You'd have thought that was enough, right? End of story.

Oh noooo.
Little Sis came by my office today.

Said she'd gotten a text message from you-know-who.

Oh really?

Yeah.

........

She said she saw your reaction when I told you she wanted to hook up.

Uh... (trying to remember just how loud I was talking that day)

She said she was going to take some sign language classes and thought that would give her an "in" with you.

No way.

~

Folks, I couldn't make this stuff up.

Of course my coworkers were present for the retelling - and they about fell out of their chairs in hysterics.

~

May I please address a couple points? I promise - no politics or religion. First off... remember she wanted to give me her number? Umm... what exactly is a deaf person supposed to do with that?

~

My other point? After years of sitting through hundreds of "practice" conversations with new sign language students, I'd be more apt to run screaming from another one.

No offense, but I've done my time (disclaimer: I'm not really that coldhearted - but certain people just needed to earn college credit talking with ANY deaf person - we're just as good as the next guy at figuring out when someone isn't really interested in a friendship).

Mr. Daddy picks up quick, and right alongside Itty Bit - so it's no grief to communicate. But if he had tried to take up sign language to have an "in" with me 13 years ago... there's a good chance there'd be no us or Itty Bit!

~

And while Mr. Daddy is amused by anything that someone can give me grief over... he did want to point out that it wasn't so much the gender of the "hitter", but rather the mortified reaction of the "hittee".
He says he would have reacted the same whether it was a guy or gal.

(snort, guffaw, cough *yeah right*)

~

And DEAR... I know you claim that you're not the jealous type and all... but next time get off your laughing butt and RESCUE ME! ;)

~

(Ladies, we all know that guys will say that little piece about jealousy, right? Then they'll stare daggers into any male that looks kinda sorta into our direction, right? And if a guy dares to start a conversation, well - he'd better be prepared for the bone-crunching grip that will follow when our husbands introduce themselves. Can I get an AMEN?)

I never thought this would happen to me

I really debated posting about this.

Cuz I don't know quite where it fits.

Sure, it could be a goofy one where I lay it out and everyone laughs at with me.

Or a political one where I brave the waters of possibly offending every single one of you.

Just as easily, it could flip into the religion category with the same result.

Eh, enough overthinking:

~

We went to the park on Memorial Day - determined to spend some time outside in the sunshine with the 489 other families who had the same thought.

As we attempted to keep an eye on our combined three little ones (in the midst of a whirling vortex of screaming and running children playing on a giant pirate ship), my sister bumped into someone she knew.

She introduced us,

Hey Brandi, this is my sister.
Sis, this is Brandi.
Hi Brandi, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Do you guys know eachother from school?
No, work.
Oh.


Yep, I'm quite the conversationalist, eh? Especially when trying to lipread while also keeping an eye on a speed-of-light 3-year old.

(Yeah, I never told you about that bonus eye, huh? Comes in handy)

So I go racing off after Itty Bit and figure the little conversation is over.

Well, it was for me.


Apparently my sis ended up with quite a bit more conversation.

(cue dramatic music)

(or rather, the JAWS themesong)

They finished their conversation as Mr. Daddy, me, and my mom pushed Itty Bit and May-May on the swings.

Nothing could have prepared me for what came next.

So... she gave me her number.
Uh-huh?
For you.
........
WHAT???
(laughing hysterically)

WHAT???
.....
Seriously, WHAT?
This is not funny.

(laughing hysterically)

You know she's a lesbian, right She thinks you're hot.

Does she know that man and that kid belong to ME?

(LAUGHING)

Yeeeeeah... she says she likes them that way.

EXCUSE ME?

Yeah, she's into that.

No wait - I'm HAPPILY married - with a little kid.

I know, I told her that.
She just said you were hot and she'd make a convert outta you.

~

So, take your best shot.
Laugh while you can.
Mr. Daddy won't let it go.
He keeps pointing other women out, "so, is SHE your type?", followed by obnoxious junior high guffaws.

~

Hey, I warned you.
This is where the post flips around.

I wasn't flattered.
Sure, I was embarrassed.

And before anyone leaves comments accusing me of being homophobic - can I please say that I'm not. Look into my life - see my (straight and non-straight) friends, and ask them. Just because I don't agree with the majority of pro-gay/lesbian politics - doesn't automatically make me a homophobe - it means I have opinions.

Those opinions are based on what I believe my Bible says. It speaks strongly about this lifestyle. And it speaks strongly of ANY sin. Which every single person is guilty of. I am no better or worse - because I am imperfect. But again - not homophobic.

So what really bothered me this week... was the cavalier attitude that this woman displayed. Her enthusiasm to demolish something that was so precious to me. For what?

And through my disgust, I felt prompted to pray for her. All I could think of was how we get ONE shot at this life... and how sad it was that hers was wrapped up in this game. Did she have anyone she was committed to? Anyone who was committed to her? No. Only time after time of violent altercations with people who once had been temporary attractions. Just seemed like meaningless damage.

So while I'm still getting razzed about this - maybe it was a divine encounter. I actually wondered, as I prayed - if anyone in her life was praying for her. How easily I take for granted the fact that I can type a few words and friends around the globe will ask for God's hand in my life.

So I'm grateful. For you friends in my life.

And still praying.

And kicking Mr. Daddy every time he giggles.

True Story Tuesday by Mr. Daddy

Yee-haw! This week's post brought to you courtesy of a still-very-tired Mr. Daddy - who has managed to stay awake long enough to pound out this riotous story from his logging camp years.Yes, I begged and cajoled and then laughed my butt off when I read it.So enjoy... then grab the button and link up and old or new post that is outrageous, amazing, hilarious, or just simply almost TOO crazy to have happened to you!Without further ado, I give you:It Only Hurts if You Laugh
Ok Folks,

This is a story about a guy and his wee wee!!! I'm not trying to be gross, or crude... Just stating the facts, and nothing but the facts...

It all started out years and years ago...( yes Pam D. long before my need for a walker)
I was serving my apprenticeship with a company , and we were welding extensions on the bunks of log trucks and trailers. I would pre-fab the extensions and then in the evenings when the trucks came in and we had all the other work done, we would pull a truck or trailer in and a couple of us would weld the extensions on the bunks.

Now the old story is that the laziest guys around made the best welders, cuz they always got really comfortable and in good positions to do the job...

WWwweeeellll!!!! this story might disprove that theory...

The guy that I was working with that night was a big old southern boy who could get himself into some mighty comfortable positions. This particular night he decided to sit down between the duals, with the bunk positioned right over his UUUUHHHhhhh!! shall we say family jewels???

Now this put the bunk in a slightly angled position, so I perched myself on the other side of the truck on the wheels. As we proceeded to weld I kinda thought to myself, (SELF) I just don't think that I would let myself get that comfortable...

Things were going along quite nicely for a couple of minutes, until things took a decidedly bad turn for a very comfortably uncomfortable guy. We were using some pretty big welding rod with some pretty hight amperage, and I don't think that this guy paid attention in class, he got a little behind the puddle and then tried to catch up. Needless to say, he dropped a pretty big goober of molten metal,,,, UUuuHhhhh.... Yep, you guessed it right on the tippy top part of his manhood....

Me.... I'm under my own hood paying pretty close attention to detail, when I hear this blood curdling scream,,,, Now a 6' 3'' 240 pound man, should not be able to hit High C above C,,,, I swear that he broke every windowpane in the shop, it started out loud, and continued on to sound like a 747 jet winding up for take off.

I break off my arc, rip the welding hood off my head to see what all the fuss was about. Now I got to tell you about our bathroom - it was little more than a two seater outhouse with a trough (room for about three or four side by side, and two sinks) no ladies room at all...and it sat about 25 or 30 yards away from our shop.

He is already half way there still screaming and blubbering unintelligibly, and ripping at his coveralls. So I have another little conversation with myself, (Self, maybe you ought to wander over and see what all the ruckus is about.) As I get to the bathroom, I'm greeted by the sight of this guy with his coverall down about his ankles, and a fistfull of himself stretched out under the faucet. Now that in itself had to hurt I'm sure, but I guess the pain from the slag stuck to the tip was totally overriding any other sensory input from that region.

He was moaning, "get it off, get it off,,,,,, "

I said "DUDE, they didn't cover this in first aid at all,,, I'll go get you two aspirins and a band aid!!! You already have a pretty good grip on it just yank it off.. (sorry bad choice of words)
pull the slag off.... "

Well the cold water must have numbed it up pretty good by then cause he got a hold of nasty little slag piece and pulled it off..... with only a little screaming and cursing. (I cringe at the memory even now)

True to my word I went to the first aid station and got him some aspirin and gauze and tape,,,, and reported it to the supervisor so he could attend to the situation,,,, (Hey it was a logging camp, I wasn't gonna touch it,,, and besides that's what the supervisors get the big bucks for,,, right???)

A month or so later one of the other guys asked him about it, he said that it only bothered him occasionally,,,,, cause scar tissue don't stretch....

~

Hey, you know you laughed. So join in!

How do you say Thank You?

Somehow a Not Me Monday post doesn't feel right.

~

You might have read about my grandfather - and how his service to our country

makes him a hero in more ways than one.

~

I'm reposting this letter from Tyler - a soldier whose service protects the safety and freedoms that we enjoy every day. Whose efforts might mean that someday, some one else's sons and daughters might experience the same safety and freedoms.

~

Please read his letter - and say a prayer for him and his fellow soldiers.

~

THANK YOU

from a grateful nation.

~

(Isaiah and big brother Tyler)

For some of my bloggy friends who have stuck around for awhile... you'll remember that my grandfather served at Iwo Jima, then survived tours through the Solomon Islands and Guadalcanal.

I appreciate what our men and women in uniform are doing. And I have no way of personally thanking them except to pray for them. For their safety and speedy return home.

Since stumbling upon the Saunders Family last year and following their amazing stories... I have been especially led to pray for their son Tyler.

See, Tyler is giving back to his country by serving in the Special Forces. I hardly think he has a hero complex - but has a genuine heart to do the right thing.

So many of our men and women who are doing the same... are making the ultimate sacrifice. I first read Tyler's recent open letter with goosebumps, tears, and a growing sense of appreciation. Can I just say that I want to hug him in person and tell him how grateful I am?

So here it is, in Tyler's own words.

"For those of you who are diligently praying for the troops I ask you to pray for America. At some point during this war, the death of American soldiers in combat has become unacceptable.
What has become unacceptable is the American public calling for a withdrawl. Our grandparents during World War II had ration cards, victory gardens and a nationwide speed limit of 40 (due to the wear and tear on tires since rubber was in such a short supply). The American public has sacrificed nothing. If anything they have only benefitted from the fact this war has stabilizd this corroding economy.
The fact of the matter is, America, not the troops has become the casualty in this conflict. The will that got our great-grandparents through the depression has disappeared. The heart that got young men through the draft in both World Wars also has dissipated. The heroism that was so commmon in Vietnam has now become a rarity.
I have served in multiple theatres and can say from absolute truth I know exactly what I have signed up for. I have lost friends. But through it all I know exactly what I have to do and that is press on.
Sadly, the same America I signed up to defend is not the America I know now. This war on terrorism has been reduced to coffee talk at colleges and debates on the media. For those of you out there who know how to fix this conflict or at least tell your friends how to, sign up, suit up, and come on over. There's plenty of room for all.
I will get off my soapbox now.....I will ask you once more though, pray for America.
Very Respectfully, Tyler"

You see why his words were so moving? Please, my friends. Go back to the top of the post - and pray specifically for this soldier. He deserves nothing less.

I posted a tribute that I put together last year here. The song by Twila Paris is amazing - I hope it touches you as it did me.

God Bless You

SOOC = straight out of camera

Taken yesterday, as dusk was quickly turning into sunset.

They share a common love

Being outside

Things that go VROOM

And eachother's company.


excuse me while I mop myself up off the floor


Join Melody at Slurping Life for more SOOC shots.
And don't forget to hug a veteran.

Leapin' Lizards!

Has it been a nutso week for y'all too?

Sorry to cop out with a photo post, but my tired brain is already asleep between some flannel sheets.

Here's what led to a mini freak-out for Mommy when she arrived home the other day and Mr. Daddy mentioned she might want to upload the photo card...

What, you don't see it?

Well Itty Bit does... and he's gonna pick it up. Everybody say EWWWWW with me.

Not only does he pick it up; he actually doesn't get grossed out or panic (two of my favorite options for this scenario).

Though I must admit; that as the photos progressed, I began to get less worried for Itty Bit, and a bit concerned for his reptilian friend.

Here he is surrendering... don't eat me!

Then Mr. Lizard starts doing some goofy acrobatics - and looks more and more desperate.

(actually, if you know Itty Bit, you know that this expression is "I think this is fun, but I'm still a little nervous!)

I am in denial that he actually spent the afternoon playing with this little guy. Though the lucky kiddo got to wash his hands about 46 times when he came in the house.

Here's one last shot for you - Pam D - figured your Bug Hunter would be able to tell us more about our slithery neighbor.

And if you doubt what a long week it's been for us... I just peeked at Mr. Daddy. He is sound asleep at his computer.

And his index finger is still clicking on the mouse.

Sorry, is that not flippin' hilarious?!?!

I woke him up after realizing that he probably wouldn't be too happy to realize he'd erased his hard drive or something in his sleep. All those boxes and menus popping up were making me nervous, LOL.

Is that another "you know you're addicted to blogging when..." qualification? :)

Good night y'all. Hope to catch up soon!

True Story Tuesday

Hey y'all - it's time again to share those amazing/outrageous/miraculous and almost too-good-to-be-true stories!


Just grab the button from the sidebar and link up an old or new post and share your tale!



I know this week is Mr. Daddy's turn... however, the man still has muddy jeans and boots on and looks tireder than heck (Is tireder is a word? Go away red squigglies!)


So I hope to talk him into taking two turns next. Hope y'all can stick with me anyway this week :)

FOOL'S GOLD

When I was 10 years old, we had just moved from California to the lovely wet Northwest. I was friendless, tanless, and missing Cali something fierce.

The next summer, my mom let me tag along back to the sunshine to go to our former church's youth camp. She was a sign language interpreter and counselor for several deaf teens.

This was no ordinary church, and no ordinary camp. Simply put, it was HUGE.

There were hundreds of teenagers; and being as I was a wee bit underaged, I became somewhat of an informal little sister mascot.

There were several infamous events during the week...

The Talent Show in which the youth pastor was forcefed baby food

War (the genders in an epic battle that included water, mud, eggs and tomatoes)

The Firing Squad where rule-breakers were covered in Hershey's syrup and flour

and my favorite... Cowboys and Indians.

All the games were fun, but this one was played at night.

Which held a delicious thrill for an 11-year old who got to pretend she was a big kid.

Basic rules... the Indians had stolen bags of gold from the Cowboys. They hid the gold, then hid themselves in the woods around the huge central field. They wore armbands that earned the Cowboys points if captured.

Did I mention this is at night???

As the Indian Princesses all tied on their armbands and slipped into the trees, someone had the brilliant idea that the little Indian Mascot could make a good distraction for the gold's location.

Sound good?

What this actually translated into, was placing a bag of gold in one of the garbage cans in the field... then sticking me atop it and replacing the lid. Assuming that if a Cowboy actually checked the garbage can, he'd be so startled by my appearance that he'd miss the gold.

Like I said... sounded good in theory.

So here I am, sitting in a smelly humid garbage can, atop a lumpy bag of burlap - waiting for the game to begin.

And I am TOTALLY PSYCHED because... well, it's night and I'm playing with the big kids.

After an eternity, the starting shot is finally given. And I am shaking with anticipation as the ground thunders around me with the stampede of hundreds of teenaged boys looking for their Indians.

The garbage can is jostled a few times, but no one lifts the lid.

It starts getting warmer and warmer - despite the layer of cold sweat on my skin.

I'm running out of fresh air and trying desperately not to nudge the garbage can with any movement.

Oh Good Lord, I'm 11 years old and I'm sitting in a garbage can in the middle of a field at night!

Then finally it happens.

I am waaaaay too hyped up, waaaaaay too excited, and had waaaaaay too much Sprite at dinner.

Yes dear friends.

I.peed.on.the.gold.

What was I supposed to do?

My mini bladder had betrayed me.

Once I was convinced I'd been abandoned, the lid suddenly came off, cool night air flooded in, and a guy easily hauled my skinny (wet) butt out of the garbage can.

Oh Lordy... I screamed the instant the lid had come off, continued screaming in his face, and ran as fast as my little flip-flops would let me. Screaming all the way of course.

Cuz I was a big kid now - and that's what big kids do, right?

And you know what? I don't think they ever found the gold. The poor guy was probably traumatized by the little girl shrieking in his face and never even bothered to look. Most likely, one of the camp counselors had the lucky task of retrieving the treasure.

Gives whole new meaning to GOLDen showers, eh?

~

Alright, now that I've mortified myself (anything for you, peeps), I'll pass the torch along and beg you guys to link up your own stories. You know, to make me feel a tad bit normal and all?

(My mom is going to be peeing her own pants reading this. I don't think I ever told her, and actually made it back to the cabin and into new shorts before she caught up. Wasn't that a fun year Mom?)

I Heart Faces

Cool deal! This week's iHeartFaces contest is for the Blurb Photo Book - where we are allowed to enter any photograph, even one we've already used.

I'll admit I'm still smitten with this shot of Itty Bit (the color version is on the blog header). It reminds me to let myself be amazed by the little things.

There are many amazing shots this week - please go check them out!

And for the fine print:

I am submitting this photo into the http://www.iheartfaces.com/ Blurb Book photo contest. I am granting I ♥ Faces permission to use my photo in a printed version of a book for commercial use and possibly advertising of a photo book on both the Blurb and I ♥ Faces web sites.

Not Me Monday!

It’s Not Me Monday again!

Little Stellan has experienced a bout of heartrate issues since returning home. Praying for healing and for good news at the doctor's tomorrow.

Hopefully there were some fun Not Me's that balanced the worry for MckMama this week. Come join for some free therapy!

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Not me.

I do not have a nice little bruise on my forehead from my kiddo getting too excited about hiding from daddy. He did not soundly clock me in the head with his Thomas the Train.

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Wouldn’t be me who has concocted several less-weenie sounding versions to explain the injury to my coworkers.

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Those same coworkers who jumped out from under my desk and nearly caused a lack of bladder control… well, they surely didn’t throw a surprise party the next day either (thanks girls, you made up for a really sucky day)!

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The birthday diet exemption extends for a full weekend, right? Cuz it’s not me who ate any and everything my little heart pleased the past few days. Not me who wasn’t the least bit put off by Itty Bit face-planting in my Tiramisu. Can’t let the good stuff go to waste, no?

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Not me who shamelessly begged all my good bloggy friends to join in a giveaway that I ended up kicking myself for making too difficult. (Thanks y'all for giving in and making me feel loved). Then it wasn't me who stayed up until 2am fixing the links on the winner post. That would mean I have a serious blogging problem.

(Oh wait, I do?)

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Cruising to the grocery store, windows down, sunshine… when for some odd reason, Mr. Daddy did not decide to suddenly spit his gum out MY window. Oh no, the gum wouldn’t have made a nice THWACK as it landed on the inside of my door.
Umm… thanks hon.

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It was not me who laughed until I couldn’t breathe when Itty Bit scared himself in the bathtub.

Not me laughing because he saw a couple of bubbles pop up between his legs, then freaked out, jumped up and looked behind him. Wouldn’t have splashed water everywhere in a total panic. All for what? No, my kid did not scare himself with his own little manly fart.

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So… go check out what everyone else didn’t do this week!

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Hey y’all – come back tomorrow for this week’s True Story Tuesday – where we link to stories that actually happened… ya know, in real life. Join in – we’d love to hear the unedited version of a Not Me episode!

Giveaway Winner!

You guys rock!

We ended up with a five way tie! You guys are really good at digging for useless obscure information :)

The five super-duper Private Investigators (that joke was for you, Lisa!) were:

Lisa
Elaine
Paige
Kameron
Sandi

Here are the answers - they're linked them to the original posts:

Of the two horses, which one is the fraidy-cat? (March 2009)

Kona is the fraidy-cat. She’s on the left in the original picture from March 2009, but on the right in this picture. Cassie has a shorter head and bigger star; Kona's a bit taller.


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What creepy-crawly did Itty Bit befriend in Hawaii? (May 2007)

He freaked out far less than his momma did about the little geckos. It was worse after someone told me they make chirping sounds! For some reason, I just kept seeing those big bad raptors from Jurassic Park, LOL.

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What is Mr. Daddy’s favorite ice cream? (March 2008)

The one and only Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. But I am totally with ya Kameron, gimme some coffee ice cream! Though if you’re still enjoying that right now, your little one is gonna be one handful!

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What melted in our last heat wave? (August 2008)

Yup, it was butter. Y’all got this one right. UGH!

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What was Rach’s wrecked car’s name? (March 2008)

(sniff sniff), yes – it was Ducky. Somehow a Sonic Blue one just doesn’t drive the same. We had some good times girl.

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What did Rach’s dad do with her school supplies according to his letter to her at camp? (September 2008)

Ah yes, dear old dad. That letter was a classic, and the icing on the cake was him telling me that my mother gave away my precious school supplies to an orphan. Not like I wouldn’t have shared or anything… but there’s just something about brand new school supplies. Am I the only one who got excited about that? Nevermind…

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Which favorite candy of Itty Bit’s prompted an entire picture story? (October 2008)

OY! Heaven forbid we should run out of Peanut M&M’s! This one he actually gets from Mr. Daddy – I like ‘em, but he LOVES ‘em!

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What was Mr. Daddy wearing when he and Rach first met? (October 2008)

Okay, so y’all found that story where I was a total dork and could barely get my name out when I met the guy.
Well, I was still trying to wrap my mind around his funny getup – while he was grinning at me and his blue eyes were twinkling. Think he knew that 10 years later we’d be married?
Yup, he was wearing welding coveralls and a silly conductor hat. With a soot-covered face, mind you.
If only I could find a picture…

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Which five guys joined Rach in the shower? (October 2008)

Gee… did that question have no shock value or what? Y’all just came right out with the answers :) Chicka, Lightning McQueen, Snot Rod, Ramone and Sheriff were my surprise shower guests.

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What is Itty Bitty’s bedtime dance? No way we would have posted a video of it??? (November 2008)

Ahh yes… that was six months ago and the kid did the very same thing last night. He loves him some hopping and running in circles until he falls down.
Please tell me this is something they outgrow?

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What bit of wildlife did Mr. Daddy snap on his cell phone and submit as his SOOC contribution? (December 2008)

This was that cool owl he managed to catch on his cellphone. Still amazed that he got that close!

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What local natural disaster did Rach freak out about after New Year’s? (January 2009)

The flooding that came up through the back pasture (which honestly, is more like a large backyard) was WAAAY too close for comfort. Though I did get a kick out of seeing the neighbors in a boat with a bb gun, “fishing”…

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What dizzying job does Mr. Daddy get to perform? (February 2009)

He is a tower monkey when they need an extra hand setting up rigging and aligning dishes. He is safe with it, but always comes home looking like a little kid who spent the day at Disneyland.

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What’s happening in this picture? (April 2009)


Yep – all of you got this one. My sweet aunt was about to get that blown egg smashed on her head. Definitely a favorite family tradition!

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How much did Itty Bitty weigh when we brought him home? (Tough question - tiny mention in July 2008...)

He was 5 pounds even when we brought him home. It is still shocking to see preemie clothes at stores and remember that they were still big on him. According to his numbers though, he’s supposed to grow to be over 6’… I’m guessing he’s caught up?

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So… you know I goofed at first and didn’t set up the comments for moderation. Which meant that the only way I could get Lisa’s answers out-of-sight was to delete them (sorry, and thanks for reminding me). So I re-posted her answers so you could see them. Dang she was fast!

A bunch of answers made us laugh… we had a hard time choosing.

But Kameron don’t cry – you had us both giggling with the butt-crack comment (and you were right that the date was wrong)… so you’re the proud owner of a $20 Amazon giftcard!

I’d say, “send me your email address”, but I kinda sorta already have it, since I bought those cute t-shirts from you!

So congratulations Kam! (And go congratulate her on her recent pregnancy announcement!)

Thank you so much for playing along. And sorry I shamed y’all into it :) Well, not really…

SOOC = straight out of camera

Cannot believe it's Saturday. This week has just rushed by so quickly.

Melody from Slurping Life started this great carnival - and though this might not be a great straight-out-of-the-camera shot, I love that the kids were having a blast together.

HERE KITTY KITTY!

And yes, the usual Lightning McQueen boots - on the wrong feet no less. Elaine from Matters of the Heart posted an adorable one of her Rooney today and I couldn't resist a Boot Brothers pic.

Check out some great SOOC shots this week!

Desperation

Yeah, I know... pathetic.

But I totally admit I am resorting to

begging

pleading

groveling

asking nicely with a cherry on the top

pretty please?

Will you play along with our giveaway?

There's been a couple hundred hits, but only one person has taken a stab at it.

Did we put too many questions? Or is everyone just insanely busy like us? :)

Here's a quick picture post.

This one is cute... I about peed my pants after my coworkers gave me this card last week. Well, I almost peed my pants the first time when they jumped out from under my desk and scared the living bejeebies out of me. It's not hard to scare a deaf person, y'all, LOL.

My sweet coworkers also also threw a surprise party for me last night which was insanely thoughtful. Here's the card - tell me it didn't make you laugh... then go try the giveaway :)

Giveaway here - there's gotta be something from Amazon calling your name :)

Birthday Mania

The first half of May pretty much turns into a blur of celebrations in our family.

You saw my sister's goofy birthday recap, and now here are Itty Bit/Mommy's fun days...

We had a few friends out to the local bounce house and basically turned the kids loose after pumping them full of pizza, cake, and pop.

Apparently Itty Bit's favorite part of the evening was drinking "orange bubbly". He couldn't get over the fact that he was indeed drinking pop. Which of course meant that his lips and chin matched his shirt for the rest of the party...

These girls wanted to remain anonymous:

Somehow I felt like I got more of a workout just chasing them around.

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Umm... now you see why people think Itty Bit could be their kid? :)

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Then it was Mommy's turn.

Mr. Daddy scored big by having fresh avocado and pineapple flown from Hawaii! Still tickled pink that he managed to pull that one off! The box arrived that afternoon and he sneakily wrapped it. I was absolutely clueless.

(Having a heckuva time trying to convince him to let me videotape him dancing with the pineapple on his head...)

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Then Itty Bit got a little crazy with the tiramisu. I think he had flashbacks of his first birthday where everyone was trying to cajole him into smashing face-first into his cake. Except the little bugger did it into EVERYONE'S cake yesterday.

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I think he enjoyed it.

In case you think we pump our kid full of sweets, please be assured that this was MOMMY'S plate and Itty Bit got to abscond with a few bites for a photo op - then the tiramisu and coconut cream pie made friends with Mommy's love handles.

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And whenever there's cake, the frosting war must not be abandoned... an early casualty:

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How stinkin' cute is this little girlie?

Get wild and crazy? Not us?!?

Now get your cute rear end over to this post and enter our giveaway! It ends tomorrow night, and I promise, it's not as hard as it looks! There's gotta be something you need from Amazon??