Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Gender Matters

Ever contemplated the differences between the genders?

Like how it's genetically impossible for a male to recognize the max load of a garbage bag before it's ready to break?

Or for a man to fit more than 7 items in a dishwasher?

My man in particular has a rough go of it if I assume he's emptied his pockets before dumping his clothes in the laundry basket (hey - at least he puts them there, right?)

Yeah, I don't find all kinds of stuff in the dryer. Most recently a CHUNK of concrete. How on earth did I not hear that clunking away in there? Oh yeah... the kinda-sorta deaf thing :)
And a couple other things that somehow find their way into the wash.

Laundry rules: you leave it, I keep it... which only really applies to the first item:

Just in case you didn't know... that item right up there is an earplug. Comes in many different colors. And is the most frequent guest in our laundry survivor list. UGH!

And only a man needs to have this many tape measures.

Seriously, there's FIVE in that little drawer alone. And it's not counting the one on his belt. Somehow I have a feeling Pam D. is gonna have something to say about that.


And apparently only women and toddlers can stay up til midnight on New Year's Eve...


And probably the #1 most annoying thing about having a little boy instead of a little girl (besides my guy's charming habit of loudly announcing "BOOBIES!" to every underdressed teenager), is perfectly illustrated below.
Please allow the accountant in me direct your attention to the figures next to the genders. Yes my dears, it shows that Amazon carries 55% girl clothes, and 45% boy clothes. That's a full 10% of adorableness that our little guys are missing out on!


Lest you think me all complaints - I know I have my own faults.

I am absolutely useless when it comes to anything mechanical.

Don't ask me to get a tool out of your toolbox, because I'll ask "which one is the Philips?" every time.

I am also about as helpful as a Tupperware lid without a bowl when it comes to hurt animals. Don't even ask about the tiny sparrow that flew into our window.

(I however, am an excellent alarm system for any creepy crawly things that dare breach our homestead. You can even hear me a couple acres away.)
Blood and guts? I'm not your girl.
And have a mole problem? A girl would never think to do this:

Umm. Yes. That's exactly what it looks like. Mr. Daddy standing guard over a mole hill with a shotgun trained on it. This guy is serious about his yardwork.
And I will probably never be as brave as this little guy:

Have a great day y'all. Go find that big lug (or sweet wife) of yours and give them a hug.


Ziggy Stardust said...

I hear you! The garbage thing makes me nuts, the bag can be overflowing and he will still shove more in. Can we talk about replacing the toilet paper roll.
Oh well you gotta love them. I read this recently and it has stuck with me. "Men are stupid and woman are crazy. Woman are crazy because men are stupid.


Lisa said...

Okay, Anne, I want a T shirt with that saying on it!

"Or for a man to fit more than 7 items in a dishwasher?" I can beat that: FOUR. Yep, my cousin put FOUR things in the dishwasher and ran it will a full dose of Cascade. Can we say "Residue?"

Cracking up at Sniper Daddy. Does he need a scope at that range, or does he still have his eyesight, bless his heart. LOL

Oh, and of those 14,088 boy clothing items, only 30% will actually be something visually desirable. Sheesh.

And, on a final note, my dad has that many tape measures too. He collects them. Gets excited if he finds some on sale. Keeps one in just about every room, you know, "Just in case...." LOL Just in case "what" I will NEVER understand!

Alicia W. said...

Amen girlfriend! A-MEN! :o)

Kameron said...

How about the inability to empty a dish or find anything on their own. Ok I am not male bashing, just sayin! Oh and my boy now has an obsession with the word poopy. I am going to get it on video because they way he says it makes me crack up...which on second thought is probably why he keeps saying it. Crap!

Shana Putnam said...

It drives me batty trying to find cute clothes for Blaze! I get so steamed sometimes when I walk through stores and there are like 3 racks for boys and half of the store has girl clothes. What is up with that?!?!? i will also tell my hubby that the garbage is full please take it out and he comes in the kitchen, Puts his foot in there and pushes it down. What?!!? Umm the longer it sits there the stinkier it gets. Why can't they just take it out already? I loved your post today, great stuff and i keep whatever I find in the dryer too!

kay said...

Oh, how true it is!!

Pam D said...

Hmm... I'm thinking that this is a sort of "truce" post.. am I right? Cause while there are some mild "gotcha" moments, you're waaaay nice at the end. Awwww... I love it when you guys get all mushy....! As for me, I suppose I am genetically misprogrammed; I love to watch wrestling and boxing, HATE pink and froufrou, and adore bugs and snakes. *sigh* What's the phone number of your sister's friend? (JUST KIDDING!!!! Mr. Daddy is grinning from ear to ear right now, isn't he????)

Rachel said...

Oooh Pam... no worries. I have a humdinger of a picture that deserves it's own post.

I had just gotten done "re"loading the dishwasher and taking that dumb chunk of conrete out of the dryer and this post kinda wrote itself.

Revenge is still simmering my friend :)

Hey, who said "real" girls had to like pink? I refuse to touch anything pink after a decade spent in ballet! And you woulda loved my sister's little adventure catching ELEVEN snakes last weekend on our property. UGH!

And you gonna be starting something that Mr. Daddy is gonna razz you for with that parting shot, LOL!

Unknown said...

Everything about this post made me laugh out loud : ). So funny!

Shanda said...

So glad you clarified the whole "ear plug" picture! ;)

Wait til your little guy gets a little older; you'll start finding ALL kinds of things in the wash even if you think you HAVE checked all of the pockets! Girls tote; boys stuff into pockets. (At least at our house!)

Here's hoping the mole was smart enough to tunnel away!!!


Elaine at Matters of the Heart) said...

Oh, Mr Daddy and my Mister would get along so well. We have a commercial concrete business, I can tell you about concrete, in pockets, among any other possible place it will stick. Oh and I have my laundry money drawer. All the found money goes in there, then when I have enough the kids and I usually go somewhere with it.

Have a great day.

BenLand said...

i feel you on the boys clothing's so unfair.....there are some stores that have sooo much more for girls {kohl's} than boys........frustrating!!!

great post! you made me laugh :)

He & Me + 3 said...

I know what you mean about the boy section in the clothing stores. So wrong.
I love that the house could fall down around the hubs & he would still be watching the TV.
He can't find the shaving cream in the hall closet but when i open the door it is starring me right in the face. Hmmmm
He needs me:)

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Loved this post! So much to comment on that I shan't because I would end up writing a post here. Good stuff!

Unknown said...

You got me laughing again!

Brooke said...

I was holding my daughter as I was walking through a clothing store just yesterday, when she grabbed my boob and said as loud as she could "Mommy got big boobies!".

Yes, those words did come from my two year olds mouth. And what she really was grabbing was a ton of padding on my bra that is needed to hide the things she caused to be so saggy! said...


Oh, girl...I see you calling your man out again (i'm shaking)

brian said...

Regarding the six+ measuring tapes, I think Shakespeare said it best:

"O, reason not the need!
(King Lear, act 2 scene 4)

As for gopher huntin' with a shotgun? Brilliant! (What size buckshot, Mr. Daddy?)

brian said...

As for the clothing, just look at the picture of Mr. D:

T-shirt, jeans, boots.

Accessories: camo ball cap and 12-gauge shotgun.

Tomorrow: same thing all over again :)

Stacy said...

LOVE the shot of Mr. Daddy holding the gun over the mole hole. I think Brian would do the same thing if we could fire a gun in the city limits LOL!

Oh, and I'm surprised that there is that much boys clothes compared to girls. It seems like it is 2/3 girl and 1/3 boy in most stores.

MC Square said...

While I totally hear what your saying, look at the prices of girls clothes vs. boy's clothes - and us mommies of girls have to have slightly deep pockets a) to meet the demands to always be 'clean and pretty" and b) to fork out that extra dough to buy something in pink haha.

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