Tuesday, June 09, 2009

My Ugly Friend

Before I start this post, I wanted to let y'all know about Mr. Daddy's boss from yesterday's story (no, he is not my ugly friend).

Trust me when I say the guy knows he is loved by how often the crews pick on him. As a supervisor, he is fair and outspoken in defense of his gang (umm, not like Mr. Daddy ever needs defending, right?)

He is also highly regarded by the guys as a hard worker who joins right alongside them to dig a hole, install steel beams, and occasionally, serve as the poster boy for pranks. How's that for a team player?

Yes, the story actually happened... I could have sworn (except I don't) that even the deaf chick in the front office heard the screams.

This kind of boss is one in a million - like you guys already said - who else wouldn't have fired the goons?


So... onto my Ugly Friend.

Remember her - that ugly little bump on my wrist from the car accident? Uhh yeah, over a YEAR AGO. Yeah, it's even bigger now. Remember how I freaked out strangers with it? :)

I finally had my last surgical consult today. I foolishly thought I could handle Itty Bit during a 15 minute appointment.

Oh silly me... I can handle him for HIS appointments.

It's a different story entirely trying to entertain a missed-nap cranky 3-year old in a doctor's office when you have to fill out paperwork, lipread, answer questions, and somehow keep him from destroying the nurses station for your appointment.
And I know this was NO ONE'S fault - and please don't think I'm being cruel here, because the lady was a sweetheart - but I kid you not... the lady asking me all the questions had suffered a stroke.
Umm, no. Not while I was talking to her.
But she had obviously done some kick-butt recovery.

Talk about a challenging lipreading match! She was a total peach and didn't mind Itty Bit destroying her desk, opening her drawers and begging for her fruit bars (the little stinker).
We got shuttled between buildings with Itty Bit protesting my instructions to leave the lobby room toys (yes, he charmed the nurse into letting him borrow one until we returned). While meeting with yet ANOTHER nurse... a dear receptionist finally brought my nutso kid a cup of gummy bears. I think she figured I could handle the sugar high afterward, as long as it kept him from continuing to open the fire extinguisher case.
So... they give me the bad news.
Oh no, it wasn't anything about the surgery itself.

It was the fact that they had NO IDEA when they were scheduling it. Morning or afternoon or evening.
No biggie - except that you cannot eat or drink anything after midnight the night before.
Uhh yeah. Ever been around me when I'm hungry? It ain't pretty.
Somehow I persuaded her that it was most definitely best if I were placed first on the list. This deafness has a silver lining - they couldn't call me with the schedule at the last minute :)
So, say goodbye to my Ugly Friend... may she never return, despite her 15% statistical chance.

Makeover courtesy of Rach's mom. Gotta love that woman.


Pam D said...

Good riddance, Mrs. Ima.. ! And oh, my, Rachel.. it sounds as if you handled all of the challeges with grace and charm, especially since you were juggling all of those different plates while having to think about being cut on! yeesh. As always, you rock...

Rachel said...

Oh, I forgot to mention. They said "anesthesiologist" and I went "huh?"

What do you need an anesthesiologist for when it's just a local?

"Oh, we'll just give you some 'I DON'T CARE' medicine".

I asked if I really needed it.

She said, "well, it's up to you".

"That kid trying to break out the fire extinguisher? I had him in 8 hours, start to finish, no meds"


Pam D said...

Yikes, Rach.. you DO have ba.. ummm, a high pain tolerance! As soon as my water broke, I was screamin' for the epidural. Must be because I'm older.. right, Mr. Daddy? (actually, it's because I'm a wimp, and darn proud of it!)

Ziggy Stardust said...

Good luck and I hope it goes well for you.


Shanda said...

I will pray all goes smoothly and that Mrs. Ima is no more!

Keep us posted!

Kameron said...

I hope you get an early appointment!! I had Natey with no meds either and last night the hubbs and I are laying in bed and he asks me if I'm going to have drugs this time. Um, no sweetie. It wasn't an experiment to see if I could do it or a novelty to do it once. Silly boy!

BenLand said...

good luck w/the surgery :)

kay said...

Okay, you ready for this?

I had a ganglion cyst that looked pretty much JUST like that, in the same place and everything. And it kept growing and getting bigger. And believe it or not, I drew a face on mine, too! (Man, do I wish I had taken a picture!!)

Anyway, long story short, I don't like going to the doctor much, nor am I keen on the idea of surgery. So wanna know how I got rid of it?

A MEAT TENDERIZER. Seriously. On Christmas Day, my uncle took a meat tenderizer to the thing, mashed it down, and it hasn't been back since!

Bet surgery isn't looking so bad now! :P

Alicia W. said...

Ouch! good luck sweetie!

jennykate77 said...

Forgive me for laughing, but we've all (by all I mean those of us w/ kiddos) been there and done that!! Dr's visits (especially your own) are no fun w/ a little one. Hilarious afterwards (to your friends)? Yes! Fun during? NO! I'm glad your ugly friend is going away! Hope all goes well w/ the surgery.

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

Oh man...that bump looks painful. I hope that your "MAKEOVER" goes well...That "ugly" friend needs a stern talking to....;)

Foursons said...

Good luck! And way to use your gift to get in early with the surgery. I'd totally be doing the same thing!

Unknown said...

Oh my wow! First off I love the humor once again! And second I sure hope it all goes well for you!

Rachel said...

Just so y'all know... Kay is right. They actually call these things "book cysts" because the treatment for them in the past included smashing it with a large book - preferrably a Bible or hymnal.

Let's just say that my mom already did that once - and it hurt like the dickens and grew back anyway. Yeah, surgery is looking better :)

You guys crack me up!

Pam said...

~Buh bye, Ima Bump!

~Hit the road, Bump!

~Go and don't ever look back!

~Feel free NEVER to return!

~Actually, I have to insist that you never show your bulbous self again!

~Good riddance!

~Be gone!

~Out, Out, Damn Bump!

~We don't like your kind!

~You're not welcome here!

OK, I think I'm done. Anyone got anything else to add?

Good luck going under the knife. Didn't see the actual date of the surgery. Shoot me an email, will ya?

Lisa said...

Ima gonna just have to say, lol, that I just LOVE the body art, hair and all. If it does come back, may I suggest you get a tattoo of some sort like Ima? LOL I would greatly reduce the "WOW" factor response, in my opinion!

He & Me + 3 said...

All I have to say is that I hope you don't have to take Itty bitty with you to surgery. LOL
I know what you were going through with him rummaging around and begging for things. That is so Stunt Man. Those two could tag team with the best of them. I try not to go out too much with him...I am hoping he will get over his wild self soon. :)
Hope all goes well & that Ima is gone 4eva!

wife.mom.nurse said...

I totally didn't realize that was not a hematoma, I thought that thing had gone away the day it came around.

That was quite an adventure of a medical visit! Wow.

My brain is not working well, so I am hoping that I am understanding this post...will have to come look at it again! Help me brain, gimme a break!

Jessica said...

I hope that your surgery goes well! Doctors appointments are neve fun with little ones, but MAN that makes all the others look easy! Oh and surgery definately sounds better than smashing it with a book *wink*!

Jessica said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Megan said...

Ouch!! That looks really painful! Good luck with the surgery!

Kat said...

I love the face! My sister had a lump like that on her wrist. It appeared in boot camp...no joke, they said it was washing so many dishes!

She had it removed 6 months later and you would never know it was there!

She didn't waste time on a local, though. Those military docs knocked her out cold! We had a blast driving the hour back home with her still half doped up...on Christmas Eve, to boot.

We went to a candlelight service after I got her dressed up and all because my, then 6 year old, was singing. Well, the power went out and here I was in a very overcrowed church with my half looped sister on one side and a 15 month old baby on my hip and my 6 year old somewhere in a church with no light!

It was so funny! Cool thing was everyone kept on singing and praying...no lights and all.

And I know that has almost nothing to do with your post except that I had long since forgotten that (it was at least 12 years ago) until I saw your picture.

Thanks for the laugh again.


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