Sunday, June 14, 2009

Not Me Monday

Ooh, it's been a doozy of a week!

Join for some free therapy, courtesy of MckMama.

I did not let my kiddo bounce on the bed while singing "10 Little Monkeys". He did not get to the "one fell off and bonked his head" part, promptly do a faceplant into the headboard and... you guessed it - bonk his head.


20 seconds later, I did not do the exact same thing myself.


While having a fabulous time at the lake, our kiddo did not think he was picking up another rock to throw into the water, and instead pick up a petrified piece of canadian goose poop.

Thanks a lot, you turd.


I did not have a dream that Kate Gosselin asked me to take care of one of her kids because she wanted to take a bath.


I did not thoroughly confuse a grocery store checker who overheard me talking to Itty Bit.

"Put that back honey, it's spicy"

"No honey, that one is spicy too"

"Ooh honey, that is really spicy"

"Another spicy one, put it back honey"

He wouldn't have been confused because Itty Bit was picking up chocolate candy bars one by one as I told him that he most definitely would not like them.

All would have been going well in world of Mean Mom if Itty Bit hadn't spotted a bag of Peanut M&M's and totally busted me.

"Not spicy mommy!!!!"


I did not buy that kid a bag of Peanut M&M's.


I am not thoroughly confused at how this brave chick could be related to me.


My confusion did not deepen with the next picture:

Oh no... let's not freak out about the fact that she is holding snakes in each hand. Let's just freak out that the one on the left POOPED.

Sorry - seems to be a poop theme on this blog today.


And we very much enjoyed a visit from Tiny Thing. Itty Bit was not trying so hard to join her atop the yellow tunnel, that he did the most logical thing...

Oh yeah - remember he's THREE YEARS OLD - what could possibly be the most logical thing?


(and yup, he did not holler "stuck, Stuck, STUCK!" like the kid on A Christmas Story!)


Join MckMama for some more Not Me Mondays!


McCrakensx4 said... the little foot sticking out of the little circle!! Made me giggle! And the snakes made me cringe...eeewwww... DON'T. LIKE. SNAKES.! Great Not Me's; Happy Monday!

Unknown said...

Now there's an, it's spicy! Hey I could use that! Thank you! You have a great week of NOT's now ya hear!

Lisa said...

LOVING the "Spicy" idea. Smart. Tucking that one away. I can't believe you dreamed about Kate G. I am actually thinking about doing a post on her. I know, I know, like everyone isn't sick of them already. But I see a different side to her, so I think I am going to do it. And just for the record, I have ALWAYS been Pro-Kate, BEFORE the "alleged" afair thing. Jon is a big ole babified jerk. There. I feel better. My Daddy would NEVER act the way he did a lot of the time. No matter how grouchy my Mommy was! Tee hee!

Susan said...

Sneaking over from Pinkalicious to say I love your "Not Me Monday!" comments, Rachel--always so well written! The picture of Itty Bit's foot sticking through the hole made me laugh with recognition because my grandson did the same thing. At least it's better than when my daughter stuck her head through the outer fence bars surrounding the black panther cage at the St. Louis Zoo when she was five. The reason your ears stick out from your head is so you can't pull it back through fence bars. I'm sure the black panthers were just as confused and upset as she about the dilemma. Time and emotional cost to extract kid from Zoo fence: 15 minutes and a lot of wailing. Plus plenty of sour stares at a young mother who must surely have been neglectful to let her child stick her head through the fence bars in the first place. I got over it later than my daughter did.

For the record, I have five (count 'em) big tape measures like Mr. Daddy, but city laws don't allow me to use a shotgun on my moles. (Good thing...I'd probably be in the newspaper for shooting my feet...) I have to squirt them out of the tunnels with my hose and then play Whack-a-Mole with the shovel. Oh, yeah...that's me, pioneer woman of the midwest....(Question for Mr. Daddy: is mole hunting considered a sport? Is there like a "Mole Hunter Magazine" or anything I should be subscribing to? Just wondering...)

Thanks for the sense of humor that always makes me laugh along with you at your crazy-fun life and the opportunity to watch as Itty Bit grows up, a normal boy!

Stacy said...

Oh, those darn geese! I know how it goes since they seem to like living here, too. Their droppings are all over the place.

This weekend Brian and I were remarking about our city kids on the farm. We are used to watching the ground since there could be poop, spare tools, holes...any number of things on the ground, while our kids look straight ahead. Their barely missed a big pile of dog poo.

Love the shot of Itty Bits little foot. Such a cutie!

Foursons said...

Oh how I wish I knew the chocolate is spicy trick when my kids were younger! And the foot- HA! love it!

Floortime Lite Mama said...

OMG I about died laughing at this post

Foursons said... I admit it? That's the basil I bought. The kind in the bag with the roots. It died. I guess I don't have a very good green thumb!

Kameron said...

Poop always makes for a great Not me! post. :o) Your dream cracked me up. I have had some doosies lately. Being pregnant does that to me for some reason!

Elaine at Matters of the Heart) said...

Brave girl is right, no way that I could be seen picking up those little snakes. Looks like you at least had one fun day in your tough week.

I pray this is a better week for you.

Megan said...

LOL Hilarious. All of it. And I really don't think I'd be caught dead holding a snake no matter how small it was! Ugh! *shiver*

Liz {Learning To Juggle} said...

Oh that sweet little foot....I love 3 year old logic!!!

Paige said...

OMG... I can't get past the snake pictures! Makes me shiver all over just to think about it. I'm such a baby when it comes to spiders or snakes. Eeek!

He & Me + 3 said...

You are so funny. These were great this week. (as always) I had to laugh at your dream and then at the goose poop. I giggled when you typed Turd too. THat word always makes me laugh. I must be 12.
Hate the snake picture. YUCK! they are the grosses things ever. YUCK again. I hope she washed her hands after holding them. YUCK again. said...


Spicy...that is so funny!!!!

Anonymous said...

ha! I tell my kids the same thing about foods/candy/gum being spicy.. im the hot sauce queen (i put it on everything) and ill just be like "oh no baby, das HOT!" or what about telling them "Oh sorry honey, Chuck E Cheese is cloooooosed!" or blockbuster or whereever else they want me to bring them and i dont especially want to. its better than saying NO and having them still nag ya about it! hehe

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