Monday, July 13, 2009

True Story Tuesday by Rachel

That's right! I know you guys have some funny, amazing, outrageous, awesome, and mostly-true stories to share this week, right?! You can grab the True Story Tuesday button from the sidebar and link up to any post that meets the definition above - even if they were from waaaay back.

Unfortunately, this one is far too recent, and still rather painful for me.

Drive-By Thru Robbery

Soo0, Itty Bit and I are frantically racing against the clock to get to the bank on time to make a deposit. I mean, we were calmly and lawfully obeying all traffic laws as we made our way to the financial institution in an expeditious manner.

We pull up 8 minutes before closing time and zip up to the drive-thru lane.


Throw the deposit slip and measly coinage into the little vacuum tube thingie and push the button to watch the Jetsons contraption work its magic.

(Oh come on, you know you love it too).

The pretty lady in the window waves apologetically and points to the phone glued to her ear. She mouths "sorry" and holds up one finger. You know, that universal sign language that means I'm gonna be sitting for awhile?

So, 7 minutes and 30 seconds later she finally gushes, "so sorry about that, thanks for waiting".

By then, Itty Bit is thoroughly unamused and ready to jet.

Whine, whine, whine, whine.

"Oh! Do you have a puppy in there?"

Sorry, what?

"Do you have a puppy?"

Umm. Noooo....

"Oh, cuz, you know, we have these" (holding up a doggie treat)

(trying not to laugh)

Umm, no thanks.

Whine, whine, whine, whine.

"OH! You have a little boy!"

(grinning as she backtracks and starts to redden)


"Would he like a sucker?"

(hollering from the back seat) SUCKERRRRRR!!!!

"The blue ones are the best!"


She sticks everything into the Jetsons tube and Itty Bit and I are once again entranced by the little messenger's flight. Especially now that it carries something much more valuable than money... a BLUE SUCKER!

Thank you so much! (as Itty Bit has already ripped the wrapper off and planted the sticky sugar into his mouth.)

I grab the receipt out, try to figure out the balance, shove my pen and wallet back into my purse, and turn around to shriek at the sudden sight.

Seriously folks, half the kid's face went instantly blue with this sucker. If I'd have been thinking, I would have grabbed a shot of it. But as you will soon see, I was most definitely not thinking.

Rather, I was already two blocks away at the store, trying to get up the courage to march in and demand an exchange for a $29.50 tube of mascara in a smashed box.

(See, I asked for Black, and the girl couldn't read. I got home to realize she gave me Navy. Yeah... I am about 20 years too old for that. But apparently Itty Bit is just the right age to smash the box up. I was too embarrassed to try to exchange it. Anyone want some blue Lancome Definicils Mascara?)

I digress.

The point was... I was gone.

Until, I looked down in horror to see this:

Oh dear Lord in Heaven... I did NOT just steal the drive-thru Jetson money thingie.

And even worse.

Oh dear Lord in Heaven, I have to go put it back.

This thing sits in my lap mocking me the whole way back. Itty Bit is thoroughly confused (and his lips have now sealed in one super sticky blue mess).

I am so screwed if this is on some kind of bank camera.

I pull up to the parking lot curb, set the brake, dash out with the stolen goods and find the poor lonely vacuum tube. I throw the Jetsons money thingie (would someone please tell me what they're called?) and race back to my car.

Of course, several customers are available as an audience and I am fabulously mortified.

Seriously... I should have just kept it and made it into one of these cute purses, eh? Then at least I would have known what to call it!

The ironic thing is... Mr. Daddy said this wouldn't make a long enough story for True Story Tuesday. Umm yeah hon... don't throw down a challenge like that to a woman who knows how to talk ;)

So... you know you've got a story like this buried somewhere in family legend, or in recent history. Join in and share - we'd love to read your funny, amazing, or outrgageous True Story Tuesday tale!


Paige said...

Love the post Rachel. Jason and I are just sitting here giggling about it(OK... Jason is too manly to giggle). Hope you have a fabulous week. I'm way behind on my blog reading (& commenting)!

Shana Putnam said...

That is so something I would do and almost have done. I did take off witht he tray from a Sonic. Just rolled it right up with the window and drove all the way home like that. I was too mortified to take it back though. I know that is wrong and I truly asked for forgiveness for keeping it but I was mortified.

Eve said...

That is HILARIOUS!!!

At least it isn't as bad as driving away from the gas station with the nozzle still in the gas tank - and ripping it off and driving through town! Just to clarify, I haven't done this (thank goodness, though it seems like something I would be capable of), but I've seen it done and I can only imagine the embarrassment!

Oh, you should definitely return the mascara. It was their fault and so what if the box is smashed... just bring the your little boy back with you and they should understand. ;)

Lisa said...

SOOOO funny. Once again, I procrastinated a scheduled post, and will be late tomorrow evening joining in on the fun. Glad I hopped over here real quick before heading to bed for a few hours sleep before I start my busy day!

He & Me + 3 said...

I have almost done that several times. Have even had to put it in reverse to give it back...LOL
Too funny.
2 Months ago I left Dunkin Donuts with coffee in hand without paying. i Was horrified to go back & pay...thank God they know me and see me everyday.

Emily said...

That is too funny! I probably would have just given it to the kids as a toy since I would have been wayyyy too embarrassed to return it! You know, you probably would have remembered to stick it back too if you hadn't had to wait for 7.5 minutes, so really it's the banks fault. (I'm so good at placing blame!)

lsnellings said...

Hilarious! But don't feel bad. I have almost done the same thing!

Stacy said...

Oh goodness...I can imagine myself doing something like that, too! Sometimes there is just too much going on and you aren't really paying attention. I understand PERFECTLY how you could have done it!

I was at the chiro yesterday and he was going down the litany of questions of possible issues. One of them was, "Do you have memory issues?" I started laughing...uh yeah! said...

I'm laughing...firehubby sits on the other side of the table on his laptop saying "what?". "TST" I tell him...

A moment later, I'm laughing even harder..."What?". "TST!" I tell him as I keep laughing my butt off!

This is an awesome story. Glad you told it!

(I want one of those purses too!)
(Pneumatic tube system...we have them at work :)

Kameron said...

That is funny. I know funny things must happen to me, but I don't think I am a good enough story teller to make them seem as funny as they are in real life. Ugh, did you just read my comment? See what I mean?? I need a writer to do my blog and I will just tell them what I want to say and they can make it awesome. Yes, that is what I need!

The Blue Sparrow said...

LOL, I have soo had those moments! I once drove away from the gas station with the gas pump still in my tank!! I'll never hear the end of that one! You're not alone and in good company, lol!

Foursons said...

Oh gosh. At first I thought Itty Bitty was choking on the sucker. Then I realized, no you were driving so he was OK. Then I thought that maybe the bank lady sent you mascara through the bank thingie. But no, he was ripping paper off. Then I realized Itty Bitty got ahold of YOUR mascara. Whew! I was scared for a minute. And yes Mr. Daddy should never underestimate the power of a talking woman. Don't women talk 4X's as much as men according to some statistic?

Floortime Lite Mama said...

love the story
I am also a Lancome girl myself - nothing beats their "Noir" Artliner

brian said...

Seems like Mr. Daddy coulda used that thing to store hardware in, or somethin' :)

Martha said...

Thanks for stopping by "A Day in the Life" and leaving your comment. Hey, it's ok to laugh AT me and WITH me. I've been laughing ever since the TP incident so no harm in laughing. "Laughter does the heart good like a medicine." :-) Love your blog. Martha @

Foursons said...

Thanks for sayin' today's post was good. I needed the little ego boost.

City girl turned Country Girl said...

OMGosh!!! That is too hilarious!!! And don't you be shy about returning that mascara!!! You just tell them your son smashed the box because it wasn't supposed to be navy blue LOL!! What a great post, thanks for the giggles!!

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Oh that is too funny! I WISH I had one of those purses! Ha.

Melanie @ Whimsical Creations said...

LOL, sounds like something I would do.

Pam said...

Oh, this one was good! You weren't alone when you drove off with the tube. And that IS the official name for the thing. At least when I was a bank teller in St. Louis, that's what we called them. I've even driven off myself. It happens all the time. And at my bank, people always brought them back. Immediately. You just didn't have extras hanging around, ya know. No tube? Close down that drive thru lane. Alas, people learned!

Thanks for sharing! ;-)

Kmama said...

I just went back through you TST posts (looking for inspiration for my next TST) and found this and LAUGHED OUT LOUD. Seriously. That is great.

Leiah said...

I too MISTAKENLY took the bank tube home with me. In fact, when I got home (about 25 mins. later) my bank had already left me a message on my machine telling me that I had in fact left the premises with their beloved currency carrier and that I needed to return it as soon as possible. Seriously -- did they think I was going to use it to display flowers on my dining room table??? Of course, I was going to return it but because of the nasty tone in her "ASAP" request, I waited until after work to stop back by and make a deposit.