Sunday, August 09, 2009

The one in which we ran away


Finally did it.

We squeezed in a quick getaway courtesy of a gift certificate that was given to us a shamefully long time ago (thank you very much by the way, cousins!)

It was the first night we had ever spent away from Itty Bit. (Aww, don't be judging... he does have kidney problems). He was ecstatic about staying with Ah-ma & Papa. Mr. Daddy was right when he said, "how much do you bet he's not gonna want to come home?"

I'd made the reservations as a surprise to Mr. Daddy. He's got a birthday coming up next week (hint hint), and unfortunately his actual birthday is booked up (yeah, the girl plead guilty to the hit-and-run and we'll be at her sentencing... good timing, eh?)


Anyhoo, we drop Itty Bit off, hit the road to this gorgeous lodge, and walk in feeling like fish out of water after handing our keys off to a valet.

When we check in, the concierge (gesundheit) says that we have a "duet massage" scheduled for 8:30pm and we are to arrive in our robes.

Uhh, what? We are to walk through this lodge wearing robes and flipflops?

We check out the room and the fantastic view... one of the multiple waterfalls is roaring outside our balcony. The kingsize bed has a feather mattress and 17 pillows. Then there's a real fireplace and a big jacuzzi tub with a window that opens to enjoy the waterfalls.

Uhh, yeah. Still like a fish out of water.

(And why yes! I am one of those dorks who takes pictures of hotel rooms because I travel so rarely!)

We beat feet down to get close-ups of the waterfalls and explore the grounds.

(Yes, our room was in that beautiful lodge on the top left!)

Dinner was a local Italian joint to escape the heart attack of a dinner bill at the lodge.

So far so good. But I am still thoroughly dreading the "walk around in your robes and try to cajole your redneck husband into not wasting the spa treatment part of the package".

And let me tell ya - it's a whole 'nother post... and I'm sure Mr. Daddy will have plenty to share from his perspective.

Let's just say that there's some True Story Tuesday material in there!

The next morning, we were tempted to bail on the breakfast. I figured "Country Breakfast" meant "Continental Breakfast" and Mr. Daddy had a hankering for bacon and eggs.

Plus I was feeling less than presentable considering that the blow dryer was the size of a matchbox car and had two settings:

dandelion puff

Considering my curly hair, you take a wild guess.

We head downstairs for our reservations (seriously, that word alone makes me feel like a total poser), and are seated with a gorgeous view overlooking the canyon that the water spills into.

The waiter takes our order, notes that the Country Breakfast is included in our package, and asks if we've ever ordered it before.

Choke, choke. Yeah, like we could ever afford a $75 Continental Breakfast?

Oh no, my friends... see a Country Breakfast means that they serve it in four courses. Yup... a BREAKFAST with COURSES.

My mind flashes back to the day I hotly told my mother that when I was old enough to live on my own, I was going to gleefully stock my pantry with Cap'n Crunch. Yeah, a four course breakfast is gonna confuse the snot outta this chick.

The waiter explains that it's 10-15 minutes between each course, so we should expect it to be an hour-and-a-half to two hours long.


So we rolled with it.

Drinks? Try freshly-squeezed orange juice and the most unbelievable hot chocolate ever (seriously, HUNKS of chocolate on top of the rich foam).

First up, some fancy breads. Butter and jam on fancy plates. I nearly got kicked out for attempting to use my cupless saucer as a bread plate. Good times.

Then we waited. And waited.

(and talked about the long white hair I found in my pecan roll and how they'd comp us if it wasn't already free)

And waited.

For two pancakes.

Froo-Froo cut butter, more fresh jam, and syrup. Mr. Daddy quietly whined that they hadn't brought peanutbutter. I replied that I was certain they had some special Sumatran Organic Fair-Trade Hand Ground Almond and Hazelnut Rosemary peanutbutter available for $17 if he'd like some.

And I realized that I was starting to feel alarmingly full and I was only halfway through the second course. So I quit... pushed it aside like the I actually had any self-control.

Then waited some more.

And the next course finally arrived!

Mr. Daddy and I stared blankly at eachother over bowls of...

oatmeal ???

Seriously? This four-star hotel was serving oatmeal for the third course? I could totally see my mom cracking up at me for my ancient Cap'n Crunch comment. God'll get ya.

While all the lovely accoutrements were enticing... the currant jelly, slivered almonds, brown sugar, blueberries, and fresh cream were just not enough to convince us to waste our appetite on that gummy goodness.

So we politely took a couple bites. (Notably, I did so with the wrong spoon, licked it off, dried it with my napkin and snuck it back). Classy, no?

The waiter comes to clear our table. You know, between each course, cuz a million dishes won't fit on there after each section comes with a different version of butter and jam in another fancy plate.

Mr. Daddy mumbles something about "saving our appetites" to the waiter and we settle in for another wait.

By which time we both are realizing that we are F-U-L-L.

And then the glorious final course arrives... a plate steaming with fresh potatoes, ham, apple pork sausage, biscuits, and yep... Mr. Daddy's good ol' bacon and eggs.

Mr. Daddy agrees to the waiter's offer of fresh local honey, and the waiter proceeds to drizzle it from literally 3' in the air... commenting on how it resembles the waterfalls. (Am I the only country girl that totally snorted at that?)

By this point I may or may not have used the word bulemic in a sentence as I was trying to convince myself that I was not a sickly kind of full. (NO MOM, just a joke... a really terrible one, I know).

Sadly, it is then time to say goodbye. At check out we are surprised by a local celeb walking through the lobby (Ken Schram for you NW folks).

It was a really beautiful and romantic place and a relaxing treat after some craziness lately.

But again... wait til True Story Tuesday to hear the rest of it ;)

Is anyone else surprised that I was ready for some Taco Bell 15 minutes into the drive home???


Lisa said...

Wow. Sounds like you guys had quite the experience. That hotel looks like something in the Catskills from Dirty Dancing or something! PLEASE tell me you took a picture of Mr. Daddy in his robe? I am laughing at the sheer imagery! LOL Did he have fuzzy slippers too? snort, laugh. I seriously hope you guys had a great time, and I can't wait to hear more!

Lisa said...

Oh, yeah, and I take pictures of hotels too. Especially ones with HUGE open lobbies and fancy elevators. :)

Kameron said...

That place looks awesome! I will remember if I ever go there not to eat courses 1-3!

Emily said...

Yum, that breakfast sounds good...except for the hair. Um, EWWW!!! And that waiter....sounds like material for a SNL skit. What a wonderful getaway weekend!

Unknown said...

I know that place!! Visited the falls many times. Ahhhh... home sweet home. I think my parents stayed at Salish for their anniversery once. Pricey but absolutely breathtaking!

Can't wait til Tuesday to hear the stories.

Anonymous said...

Oh I'm SO TOTALLY jealous! Pure, pea-green with envy! But ya'll need a break so badly, and the rest, and the relaxation, and the impregnation...


I went there. Come back all full of BABY wouldja?? Please??

Gosh, I'm all naughty today, must have been the oatmeal talk! HAHAHAHA

Foursons said...

That place looks gorgeous, can I somehow be related to your cousins too? I'm thinkin' I'm owed a free weekend trip.

And really-she pleaded guilty? But I was looking forward to the court hearing! I wanted to see her get ripped to shreds. Waaaaa!

Happy early Birthday to Mr. Daddy, 'cause I'll probably forget when the actually date rolls around.

And I totally would have mentioned the hair in the pecan roll- I'd have been looking for another free night.

Can't wait to hear your TST post. I'm sure it's a doozy.

Shanda said...

Hmmm, my cousins aren't looking all that great at this moment...come to think of it; I'm probably not either!! What an amazing gift! ;)

So glad that you got away and I CAN'T WAIT to hear the "rest of the story" about the massages from both perspectives! For our wedding we (my husband and I) both got massages the week before. The girl massaged his b-u-t-t!! No one touched mine...hmmm...he walked out feeling all violated and yet NOT ABOUT to say anything to them...good times! Something we won't EVER forget!

He & Me + 3 said...

OMGosh, even on a getaway you two still have so many funnies to blog about. Sounds like it was nice...except for the hair in the pecan roll. I would have been done after that.
Loved the picture of the waterfall and the room. Very nice!

Susan said...

Still holding my gut, laughing. Honestly, you made ME feel full with the description of all those courses! Oatmeal? Seriously? I ate porridge in Ireland, but only to say I did, and get it over with--kind of like a "bucket list" sort of thing.... I've got lots of pictures of hotel rooms and lobbies. I finally try to put people in the pictures so I can pretend it's just background **snicker** but I'm a sucker for a pretty room or lobby or view.
Can't wait to read about the massage. I expect to be laughing all over again.....but it DOES look like a really gorgeous place! What a great gift!

Liz {Learning To Juggle} said...

Sounds like a lovely getaway....even despite the oatmeal course!!!

Shana Putnam said...

Can't believe breakfast was 2 hours. Just bring the last course first and you would ahve been set! Great story and glad you had fun.

Megan said...

It's been way too long since I've been up to Snoqualmie Falls. Gorgeous!

The breakfast sounds yummy {minus the hair}. Sounds like you guys had to be rolled out of there. Haha!!

Floortime Lite Mama said...

that is a great story - All mean are sybarites finally !!!

Stacy said...

That looks like such a lovely place! So scenic and gorgeous! Wow, what a very nice gift. Yes, I won't make any judgements about you not having a night away from Tristan yet, as he is medically fragile with his kidneys. Totally understandable. That breakfast sounds totally yummy, too. Glad you two had a nice time!

Eve said...

Salish Lodge - We honeymooned there!
We love those waterfalls and stop by whenever we're in the area and have a little time. They have a beautiful bar area overlooking the falls - with a huge fireplace - a great place to hang out on a cold day!

I think they've changed the breakfast a bit over the years because there were actually MORE courses when we stayed there - if you can believe that - (we were shocked and didn't come even close to finishing them all). ;) We really thought their pancakes were the best we'd ever had (but we both come from restaurant eating backgrounds - no good country home cooking for us sadly) - You can buy their pancake mix for a more reasonable price at most Safeways in WA (purple bag with the lodge name on it).

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