Monday, September 14, 2009

True Story Tuesday by Mr. Daddy

Yeah! It's time for True Story Tuesday and it's Mr. Daddy's turn. (Rach is out on the other end of the house trying to escape the lovely scent of elk pee. Isn't it charming?)

Y'all know the rules - link back to your new or old post of something hilarious, amazing, outrageous, miraculous and (mostly) true that happened to you! Grab the code from the right sidebar and play along - we'd love to send you some linky love.



This is a story that happened a few years ago, (and no Pam D., I am not talking light years).

But I am talking long enough back that the details are kinda hazy at best, I think it was my freshman year of high school...

I gotta admit to being a precocious little guy, and the description of a Good Time Charlie would probably fit me well. Academics were never a problem, but not also a strong point. More due to lack of interest than ability. And anyway to get an easy A for the day was a prime objective...(and believe me I was a master at creating opportunities).

Looking back I must admit to being no different than any other maturing young red-blooded single-minded budding young male...

But as far as this story goes, I gotta tell ya that I was totally innocent.....REALLY I was!!!!!

To set the storyline, we had a rookie teacher for one of my mandatory classes.

And she was a looker... Miniskirts were all the rage!!!! and Baby "O" Baby did she have legs...

(Sorry DEAR)

(Rach in: No problem DEAR, you can keep your miniskirt teacher as long as you quit teasing me about unintentionally mooning your hunting buddy... that is ALL YOUR FAULT).

Now she wore miniskirts so short that my saintly mother, (who drove school bus) quoted a poem that I will never forget, as I was so shocked to hear my dear Christian mother say it...

It went like this...

"If these skirts get any shorter.
and the wind misbehaves....
there will be two more cheeks to powder.
and one more place to shave.."

Can you imagine how embarrassed I was to hear my dear Godly mother say that????

(Rach in: *snort* Picture Billy Graham's wife saying this and you'll understand why it is so darn funny)

Well, as embarrassing as it was it was a very accurate assessment of the situation...

Being the precocious fun-loving, (good grade for the day looking) guy that I was,,,,,,

of course my seat (assigned, not chosen I must admit), was right up front, where she could keep those big baby blues right on me... As I walked into class I noticed the garbage can was right at the front edge of her desk.

Now at that age, the only other thing to a walking hormone with legs would be interested in would be basketball. Am I not right? And I was consumed with the game...

Anything with a rim that could imitate a basket would suffice, if I could find any thing that would take the place of the ball. And I had a whole note book of paper that would fit the bill nicely... thank you very much!!!!!

The idea blossomed pretty much all on its own from that point on...

Miss Nice Legs With the Big Baby Blues walked into class at the ring of the bell. And I just went for it...

Hey!!! What do you say that if I can hit the trash can from here with by paper ball, I get an A for the day??? and the bidding went from there...

Her: That's way too easy I have seen you shooting around in the gym. (looking back I realize this chick was smooth)

Me: Well how far out does it need to be for an A??? ( I was pretty confident in my long shot)

Her: How bout here? ( as she moves it a little ways away).

Me: You sure that is worth an A? (me being dumb and cocky)

Her: Well how 'bout here? As she moves it around the corner of her desk out of my line of sight, and sits down... (Dang college education).

Me: (still in the game but way behind on points) If I can pull off that shot it ought to be worth an A for the week...

Her: If you can pull off that shot, Yep I will give you an A for the week... (forgetting about my Yankee ingenuity).

Me: An A for the week? You are on...

Her desk had a front on it but it did not go all the way to the floor just far enough for her modesty's sake. And me being young and my mind totally on the game, was not thinking about a cheap peek at all....

(Rach in: AHEM)

I just needed some spacial relationship of the can to the edge of the desk corner, a little mental computation, and a whole lot of arch on my shot and I would be homework free for the week...

As I leaned down to look under the desk, searching for the placement of the nefarious garbage can, the classroom went to a total hush... still doing the mental calculations, for windage and distance, the thought did occur to me "what the heck is going on"???

As I sat back up it became patently clear what was going through Miss Nice Legs With the Big Baby Blue's mind...

I know that I could have made that shot!!!!!

But not from the principal's office....


(Rach in:
OUCH... this oughta remind you of some great TST material from your own school days, right? I'm sure Mr. Daddy wasn't the only charmer that got busted in a noteworthy fashion :)

So link up - and stay tuned for a very special giveaway coming up tomorrow. Hint here!



Lisa said...

Mr. Daddy, we ALL know what you were really up too, so you might as well 'fess up after ALL THESE years! lol

I guess I had better behave myself today after yesterday's blunder. *blush* Hey, at least it made a GREAT True Story Tuesday, right?

And to think I was ready to make you a lovely elk bugler award for being either really good or really bad, whichever way you want to take Rachel's story, and instead I made a bugler-worthy mistake myself. Serves me right.

Rachel said...

May I kindly direct your attention to the previous post if you want to know what Lisa is referring to. Just doing my part to spread the joy (sorry Lisa :)

Lisa said...

Oh, that is okay, Rachel. Let's let Mr. Daddy revell in this moment. LOL At his age, they come few and far between! (Or, maybe not so few and far between with people like me around! LOL)

I deserve all the comments I may get! LOL

Even I have to admit it is funny.

Rachel said...

Oh Lisa - it was just too classic.

My eyes got wider and wider as I read your comment... I was totally picturing Mr. Daddy's reaction.

Trust me, there was a LOT of noise going on.

He was whooping and hollering and laughing and jumping around like some redneck kid.

Oh wait, he is.

Anyway... yes, thank you... I think he's a hottie too. And trust me, HE'S LEGAL, LOLOLOLOLOL!

Lynsay said...

Well he is still smirking a little bit, but I should clarify that not EVERYTHING that comes out of my mouth ACTUALLY happens, I slept quite nicely that night! :)

He is smirking....but he hasn't read Mr. Daddy's post yet, I'm sure soon he will be rolling on the floor all over again!

So when are you coming to China??? :)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I'm just not sure if you were as innocent as you say you were....hmmmmmmmm.....

Kameron said...

It always sucks toget in trouble when you weren't trying to do what they think you were. ;o)

Stacy said...

LOL...SURE you weren't thinking of sneaking a peak being a red blooded male full of testosterone! Well, really she did deserve that one a bit since she was wearing such short skirts. She should have known better!

McCrakensx4 said...

LOL...sounds like something my hubby would've done!!

Pam D said...

I'm pondering. Processing. Assimilating the information. I suppose those "flapper dresses" from the '20's WERE pretty racy, huh, Mr. Daddy? Just never heard a first-hand eyewitness account of one before; thanks SO much for sharing!

Foursons said...

You're mom's poem is classic! Did you write it down in your notebook to remember it after all this time?

And after last week's story and you sneakin' a peek up Rachel's shirt, I'm thinking a pattern is beginning to develop here. Did you at least look since you got in trouble for it anyway?

Brandi said...

Never heard that poem... and if my mom would have recited it, I would have DIED!

That all sounds exactly like something Daddy Bub would have tried to get away with.

And I am SO glad we don't live in AL anymore. I just don't get the whole deer hunting thing! ;)

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

I hate it when I get in trouble for something I did not have bad intentions for. I like to save those times for when I "have" bad intentions. It is a shame you used up one of your trips to the principle office on a trick shot.

Mr. NB

He & Me + 3 said...

That poem is hilarious. I have never heard that one before. I would have lost it if my mom had spouted that out. Too funny.
So sorry you didn't get a chance to "make" the shot. I am guessing you didn't get any A's for that week. LOL

Emily said...

You know, those to claim innocence that like usually aren't!
And I'm w/ H&M+3...that poem is freakin' hilarious!

Lisa said...

Oh, Pam D., so funny. And with all the hullabuloo I even forgot about that poem. What a classic! You ought to get that engraved on a plaque or something. LOL

And Rachel, I am glad your little red neck got to whoop and holler. This little red neck is still, well, RED with embarrassment! LOL

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

That poem is too funny! LOVE it!

I guess you just had to earn you A's the good old fashion way!

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Anonymous said...

My husband has yet to outgrow that "anything with a rim that could imitate a basket would suffice" phase and he's 37!

That poem is too funny! I am going to have to remember that one. :)

Lisa said...

Ok, Mr. Daddy, the votes are rolling in over at my TST. The "Hottie" award goes to you, hands down! LOL Women who have no idea what the post is even about are like, "Your glasses are fine, he is a hottie!" (Although I MUST admit she is a wee bit older than I am LOLOLOL) Oh, my. My entire family is still riding me about this. :)

Killlashandra said...


However, my mom who has been a teacher all her life, would be appalled at the thought of a teacher wearing miniskirts to school. Actually so am I. But then I've got the idiot professionalism in the workplace bug.

Funny story though. ;) said...

we could anticipate the peak from a mile away.

Did you get the paddle? Naughty boy!

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