Sunday, October 18, 2009

Not Me Monday

I never realized how many Not Me Monday episodes you could create simply by staying home for a week with a sick child and a sick husband and oh yeah, a sick self!

Jumping right in… It surely isn’t my child who is putting his own spin on “cover your cough”. When Mr. Daddy and I both reminded him, he didn’t simply lean over, grab Mr. Daddy’s hand, and cough directly into it. Attaboy.

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We did not find out that we’d all actually been exposed last week to the (are you ready for it?)

 

swine-flu-france

Of course, all three of us had not hugged and kissed the little patient in question.

I am not crazy for being grateful for a head cold in place of the flu!

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Itty Bit did not continue his mean streak of naptime destruction. *SIGH*

After the first two episodes (here and here), he was not caught with mama’s JEWELRY BOX on the floor of the bathroom, merrily rearranging the meager yet priceless contents on the floor.

He also did not empty TWO tubes of toothpaste on the counter and attempt to clip his own toenails (aye!)

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And for a grand finale, the next day he did not choose to once again empty Mr. Daddy’s travel bag and coat himself in some unbelievably potent aftershave. He did not smear the cologne lotion on the carpet and bed and through his hair.

And the worst offense? He was not TWO STINKIN FEET away from a soundly snoring Mr. Daddy when all this occurred.

~

Along the “sick house” lines, it was not me who was totally confused by the Vicks Vaporub nightlight. It worked just fine in the bedroom, but would turn off in the bathroom. But anything else would work perfectly in the same outlet. Huh?

Then when I gave up in disgust and walked out of the bathroom, the darn thing lit right up. After suspecting a night-light curse, it was not me who very-belatedly realized that it was a light-sensitive model and I’d been fiddling with it in the daylight. DORK.

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Knowing Itty Bit wouldn’t want to come in the house to do something unexciting like pee-pee in the potty, it was not me who let him stand on a log and giggle as he squirted.

And it was not the in-law’s dog who was lying (ahem) conveniently next to the log.

And it certainly was not me who laughed uproariously at the revenge Doc earned for every time he jumped on me with muddy paws. Bwah ha ha ha!

doc

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Sick of my out-of-shape-because-my-joints-are-still-messed-up-from-the-accident body, it was not me who found a “beginner” hip-hop exercise episode and worked up a sweat being unbelievably clumsy.

It was not me who was concentrating on a terrible attempt at a “shake it off” move… and didn’t realize that Mr. Daddy had wandered in.

I did not shriek full-face at my startled (albeit totally AMUSED) husband and run off in total embarrassment.

scream

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So what’s new with YOU? I’m sure you’ve got your own Not Me’s that would at least help me feel a bit more normal, right? :) Check out My Charming Kids for more!

9 comments:

City girl turned Country Girl said...

OMGosh Rachel!!! You crack me up everytime LOL!!! I really hope everyone is feeling better now!! Have a great week!!

Kmama said...

LOL at Itty Bit peeing on the dog and you shaking it while Mr. Daddy walked in. I can only imagine. LOL

Kameron said...

I let Nate pee outside all the time. It is the one good thing about potty training boys!

He & Me + 3 said...

Holy moly Itty Bit knows exactly the best times to get into things huh? That is the sign of a very smart child...always curious. I know, I have 3 just like that. :)

Emily said...

Peeing outside rocks...boys are so lucky.
And sounds like Itty-Bitty is all about personal hygiene.

Killlashandra said...

Peeing outside...that is a habit that is too hard to break. W.W. truly scandalized my Mom the other day at the park, where there were all these kids. She was at one end with the stroller and E.C. and he ran off to the end and promptly peed on a tree in plain site. She was mortified and we're back to the no peeing in public rountine. LOL

Glad no one ended up with h1n1. We've been exposed down here too and it does worry me always.

Lisa said...

Oh my goodness, girl. You have had a busy week! Thank God for the overlook on the Swine Flu. We got it too, so far.

Maybe it is all that elk and deer pee stuff that has ruined Mr. Daddy's sniffer and that is why he didn't smell the fiasco taking place at his bedside? LOL Itty Bit is just trying to be like daddy, in his own defense! LOL

Shame on you, Mr. Daddy, for watching Rachel "shake it off" and not tell her. Shame, shame. *snicker*

And, Rachel, to my "mostly Married men" thing on my NMM, I meant MOST of the men ARE married, LOL. If they are married, I certainly hope they are COMPLETELY married!

Great post!

Heather said...

Whoa, you have a LONG Monday list!!!! I can't believe all the stuff Itty Bit is getting into these days! Yikes!!

Hope you're all feeling better soon... thank GOODNESS it wasn't the flu!

Foursons said...

Nope, you're totally abnormal Rachel. You are the ONLY person in the ENTIRE world who has stuff like this happen to them. What the heck is up with that? You are so weird. Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha! (Don't you love how I laugh at my own jokes?)