Monday, October 05, 2009

True Story Tuesday by Rachel - I'm Krazy For You

You know... every time I think, "I don't have any more True Story Tuesdays", someone comes along and says, "Hey, remember that time you did (blank) and we all laughed and still talk about it 10 years later?"

Somehow, I don’t think we’ll ever run out of crazy things we’ve done… and this one ranks right up there with the legendary brilliant ideas of mine.

It’s True Story Tuesday y’all – time to share those outrageous, hilarious, amazing, miraculous and (mostly) true stories that happened to you.  Just link up to an old or new post and we’ll share some linky love.

I’m cringing already at this next story, so please link up and make me feel a wee bit less brilliant.


I’m Krazy For You

Back in the day… you know, when I weighed something like 88 pounds and my body hadn’t yet experienced the joys of a motherhood and a car accident – I fancied myself a classical ballet dancer.


Yeah, like so.  Let’s just (ahem) pretend that was me.
I mean, the girl in front, not the guy in back.        Just sayin’.


I was dancing.  A lot.

To the point that most of my laundry was ballet gear.  Yeah, we did wear goofy stuff like those legwarmers above.

And of particular importance were convertible tights.  The kind with a hole on the bottom that you could use when you needed to rip off your toe shoes and try to find the source of bleeding (yes, we were sacrificing for our art… dramatic sigh).

Only on this particular evening before ballet class, I found a hole at the toes… where a hole ought not to be.
UGH!  Only when I’m late, right?

I had no time to try to stitch it or tape it up – and it was partnering night – a rare treat to have a teenaged boy trip all over himself to hang out with a bunch of sweaty bunheads.  The real allure was the fact that we would be lifted up higher than we could jump, thrown into the air and caught, and spun faster and longer than we could hope to on our own.  Yeah… I needed to get that darn hole fixed quick.


Little Mensa-qualifier that I was, I struck upon a marvelous solution:


Yeah, crazy in more ways than one.



My stroke of genius might have had a chance, if not for my time-saving decision to attempt to patch the hole with my tights on.

Yep.  Brilliant I tell ya.  Brilliant!


In two seconds flat, I got that little tube of Henkel Sicomet out and went to work.  It was sealed shut.  I poked a hole in the tip and tried again.  Really tried.  Squeezed until I was out of breath.
Then suddenly… an explosion of crazy glue all over the intended target.


Did you know, that when you apply a significant amount of crazy glue to an area of skin – that it
burns like the dickens?

So I did what any normal person does.  I grab the area that hurts.

With both hands.


Oh yes indeedy friends.  I was shrieking in pain with both of my hands completely and thoroughly attached to my burning toes.

My husband ran into the kitchen to see who on earth was dying on the floor.

He found me rocking in pain with my right knee pulled up to my chin, both hands grasping my foot.

He did the most obvious thing:

“Let me see it!”
“Come on – take your hands off it, let me see!”
“Rach!  Take your hands off – let me see how bad it is!”

The poor guy thought I’d stubbed my toe or incurred another blistery pointe shoe injury.

He was frustrated with my  refusal to show him the horrific injury and began to tug at my hands.


My butt was on the floor in tights and a chiffon ballet skirt.  As he began to try to pull my hands off my foot, his inability to separate them led to him literally dragging me around on my bum… spinning me across the kitchen floor.

He totally did not know that my hands were STUCK (insert A Christmas Story "stuck" scene here) and I could not tell him because I was then on my side being pulled in a circle as the guy was getting more and more frustrated with my apparent stubbornness.


Is that not the weirdest image ever of a ballet partnership?


Let’s just say that those precious convertible tights were cut off me, and I arrived late at partnering class with bandaids on my fingers.


Somehow, a little stinker let the entire work crew know and I am still introduced to new employees as, "This is Rachel, we keep her away from the adhesives”.


What have you done that you haven’t been able to live down yet?  Do share!


Sande said...

Ingenious. Tried permanent marker but never super glue ... !

Lisa said...

Okay, you jogged my memory and I confessed my super glue fiasco on my TST too! LOL It does burn, doesn't it? LOL

I had another TST planned, but it was a doozy and I didn't really have the time to put into it (because I may not get to post early tomorrow) so I shall try to have that one ready to roll next Tuesday.

I can't believe you glued your tights to your feet. Guess I am one to talk, though! LOL

Oh, and I still am pretty clueless about my new Rebel. The instruction book was somehow lost, so I am waiting on it. I am just twisting and focusing away, but have NO IDEA how to get to any kind of menu! LOL Perhaps I should have stuck to point and shoot! LOL But, hey, can't turn a gift like that down, huh?

City girl turned Country Girl said...

Oh my goodness Rachel!! You guys crack me up week after week!! I swear someday I'll do my own "true story" post but I still haven't come up with anything LOL!!

Pam D said...

How? How does all of this happen to you? HOW??? I'm jealous; I just can't remember anything even 1/10 as funny as the stuff you guys come up with. I live in a vast wasteland of blahdom. sad. But on the bright side, I LOVE the pic of you AND MR. DADDY. How lovely.....

K said...

OMG sooo funny

He & Me + 3 said...

OMGosh that is too funny. I can totally see you & Mr. Daddy dancing around the kitchen together. LOL Here I was thinking this happened when you were like 10 cause that is about the time when I weighed 88 pounds LOL

Kmama said...

That is hilarious. I totally cracked up picturing you sliding around the floor on your butt. And, thank you for linking to The Christmas Story. That was great!!! One of my family's all-time favorite movies.

Rachel said...

I am howling at Pam D's last comment. I mean, the guy in the pic is to embarrassed to even show his face! ;) That would have been a HOOT if it had been Mr. Daddy, no? hee hee

Aunt Crazy said...

HAHAHAHAHA, self-inflicted injuries are the most funny. I have a friend that says "funny trumps wrong EVERY time!" Still laughing...

McCrakensx4 said...

Oh MY!!! Thanks for the hardy laugh as I get ready to start my day!!! I too, was a dancer but never in a million years would I ever attempt crazy glue to fix tights...nail polish (any color) maybe, but never crazy glue! You are braver than I dear friend!!!

Just Stacy said...

that is hilarious, can absolutely see a puff of tu-tu being drug around a kitchen floor by hands and foot ...

Emily said...

hahaha! Although I've also had my um, moments, with super glue. I feel your pain. Literally.
So, have you ever convinced Mr. Daddy just dance with you for fun sometimes? ;)

Anonymous said...

That is too funny and the visual is priceless! ;)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

This really does sound like something I would do, but haven't. . . yet!

I'm going to try to put my TST up in a bit as I am running late today with some things.

Susan said...

Unbelievably funny--at least as you told it and I pictured it! If there was a tv comedy show devoted to True Story Tuesday--and of course, it would have to be televised on Tuesdays--then you two would have weekly segments! Say......I think I'm onto something here.....

Shana said...

Oh my gosh that was so funny. I would so do something like that. Well, if I was anywhere close to waht a ballerina looks So, in other words, it ain't gonna happen. ;-)

Anonymous said...

.....wait for it.....

....waittttt for itttt......


That is HILARIOUS! The mental image I now have you is priceless...

Stacy said...

Oh Rachel, how you make me laugh! That is one for the books! I love the line "we keep her away from adhesives" LOL! You know I used to think I was super klutzy, but then I found you. ;) Just kiddin'...I'm sure I have some that would rival that. :)

I have a TST up - that I put up yesterday of course.

Ms. Sarah said...

Well That is why i dont use it. I am terrifed thanks to my grandma and pap.

THank you for the laugh.

Lisa said...

Okay, I had to come back too. lol. The comments are just as good as the story. Somehow I just don't see Mr. Daddy gearing up for a little dance with his sugar plum fairy. (If he ever does, PLEASE secretly record it, okay?) I am with He & me plus three. At first I thought it was going to be a high school story or something. LOL. I know you are thin, it is just easy to forget that some people in this world actually weigh less than 100 pounds! LOLOLOL

Wow, 5'3 1/2", 88 pounds...... Ole Mr. Daddy should thank his lucky OLD stars! LOL

Brandi said...

Oh, that is a great one! HAHAHA! I'm laughing with you, not at you, Rachel!

Lynsay said...

Hehe, that is hilarious! I'm shamelessly plugging myself again, since my post that I linked yesterday somehow got lost! I was considering using super glue and an old chair to get Mercy to sit still now and then, but if it burns, maybe not!

brian said...

Yeah, that's the problem with Krazy Glue: It actually works :)

BTW, Mr. Daddy sure does, um, fill out a pair of tights...

brian said...

Yeah, that's the problem with Krazy Glue: It actually works :)

BTW, Mr. Daddy sure does, um, fill out a pair of tights...

brian said...

Yeah, that's the problem with Krazy Glue: It actually works :)

BTW, Mr. Daddy sure does, um, fill out a pair of tights...

Foursons said...

Bawahahahahahahaha! I was literally LOLing on this one Rachel! I can visualize the whole scene and so wish I had been there. Or at least could watch it on tape. So funny! I finally linked up after a VERY LONG day! Whew- glad I made it! said...

I didn't realize that u met Mr. Daddy in ballet class! So cool :)

Love the pix of the 2 of you dancing.

do stay away from the glue honey.

Rachel said...

Okay, between Pam D., Brian, and Wife.Mom.Nurse - I just wanted to set the record straight... that is NOT Mr. Daddy in the picture. And nor do I wish it was, ha ha.

I love my redneck anti-ballet guy more than anything - and I'd rather he know how to fix my CHECK ENGINE light than do an grande jete.

Seriously - the only person that can get this guy to boogie is Toby Keith.

Wait, that came out funny...

Mr. Daddy said...

O.K. guys, some things are just not funny....
and the mere thought of me in a pink tu-tu just makes me want to poke out my minds eye....

Were is that dang check engine light????

Killlashandra said...

Oh that's a good one and a hard lesson to learn about glue in general. Clear nail polish you can apply while you're wearing the tights. ;)

Kameron said...

OMGosh that is funny. The best poart is, I had the scene completely pictured in my head!! That is the tell of a good story! :o)

Foursons said...

Ummmm...Rachel. I do believe checking the red engine light could mean something you never intended to mean. Hahahahahaha!

Pam D said...

Toby Keith, eh? Now THAT paints a pretty mental picture, Mr. Braddy...

Melissa said...

Oh Gol girl, you get me laughing! Ouch!

Jaime said...

Rachel, that is hilarious! What's more hilarious is that you were married at the time. I thought it was dating back to teenage years... :-) Thanks for a good laugh!

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