Thursday, November 05, 2009

Letters of Intent

Hey… didn’t I just complain yesterday? ;)

Here’s a chance to say what’s on your mind… in letter form… for a weekly carnival hosted by a teacher… and I’m getting nervous about my grammer grammur  grammar… and the sorely overused leading punctuation… and the abandoned phrases starting with “and”…

Eh, I’m just gonna wing it – head over to Julie at Foursons for more Letters of Intent fun!

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~

Dear Makeup Companies ~

I’m starting to have a bit of an issue with the whole “truth in advertising” thing.

You know, where you tell me something will make me look dewy fresh, free of wrinkles and imperfections, perfectly moisturized and protected from UV rays… and I spend another $12 in stubborn hope that maybe, just maybe, this time you might be right?

Lets start with the “imperfections”.  Yeah, this PCOS gives me the double delight of zits and wrinkles at the same time.  Ever tried those skin clearing brands?  When you say they might cause slight irritation, it means that my skin will be clear because fourteen layers have been scrubbed off.  And somehow my nose and forehead are still gonna shine.

And when you say it might lighten dark fabrics… just be aware that every single item of clothing I own now has a weird pinkish tint around the neckline.  And every face towel has weird pink streaks.

So lets get to covering those “imperfections”.

I admit it – I finally bought into the hype and was intrigued enough to try this:

almay-makeup 

Yep, you read that right… “Smart Shade”.  I figured it would let me pretend to have flawless skin for a few hours.

And somehow, your oh-so-smart technology figured that my light/medium skin should look like this:

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Only – go ahead and add the zits back in, because it didn’t bother covering ‘em.  Yippee.

And what’s up with making the world’s best mascara in a color like NAVY?

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I mean, who wears it? I can tell you who gets confused and throws a tube of it in my bag when I’ve asked for black though.  So… you could avoid the confusion by just making Black and Brown-Black.  You’re welcome.

And lastly… I finally found a new lipstick color I love!  It’s the perfect shimmery shade and I’m gonna buy them all up!  Check out my lovely shiny #89!

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Oh wait… is it my lovely shiny #68?

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Oh seriously… it’s not like you guys need to make it any tougher on a make-up impaired person like me?!?!

So next I’d like to complain whine strategize about the latest…

 

Oh wait…

Nevermind.

Gotta go.

Really.

Like right now…

Shoot, I only set it down for a minute!

 

 

 

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Mr. Daddy doesn’t need to know about this, m-kay???

 

Signed,

A Cosmetically Challenged Mama

20 comments:

Kmama said...

LOL! If I had to guess on the lipstick, I would say it's 68, if that helps any.

My boys LOVE anything that goes on their lips. We only let them use chapstick, but Buddy refers to it as lipstick, which is actually an improvement from when he just called it "lips". LOL

Aunt Crazy said...

Advertisements lie...LOL They only want your money!!!

I love the pic...how cute!

renee said...

seriously rach, you CRACK me up! thanks for making my friday!

Mama4Real said...

HA!!!! I love it.
Thanks for stoppin' by my blog!:)

Emily said...

LOL...I'm cracking up because one of my favorite mascaras is Midnight Blue! :) And I'm thinking it's 68. Hope it you it figured out!

Shana said...

Could they have made the number on that any more confusing?? I just stick with Bare Minerals when I actually have time to put makeup on and it is the only one that doesn't make me look like a freak. Well, Clinique is ok but PCOS doesn't seem to realize that I spent good money on this stuff and it shouldn't react by giving me massive acne issues.

Just Stacy said...

They still make blue mascara? ;) I used to have teal ... yes, TEAL when I was a kid. Love the pic.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

I am cracking up over here! I ahve always wondered if the make up was smart... thanks for clearing that up. I can't pull off the George Hamilton look either!

LOVED the last picture.

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Brandi said...

Ooooh girl, I would love me some Navy mascara. Come on, be a little daring! :) I think the lipstick is 68 too.

I can't keep my boys out of my makeup... I use to let Bubba paint his toenails clear whenever I painted mine 'cause it was the only way he'd leave me alone. Daddy Bub found out and had a hissy about it.

I gave up on all that foundation stuff. I could never get it to look right. When I do wear makeup (which is not often) I like the mineral powder stuff. I use the Neutrogena one and it works great ~ doesn't look like you're wearing makeup. So, what's the point really? If it doesn't look like your wearing it anyway then why go to all the trouble.

I've had a bit too much coffee this a.m., can you tell?

He & Me + 3 said...

and that my friend is why I don't wear make-up. lOL Every time I see that guy I wonder who baked him too long. Hee Hee.

Big Mama Cass said...

HAHA! I so hear ya!! I tried that Almay stuff and My forehead is white as a ghost and yet my chin is as black as coal now. NOT the effect I was going for.

I have PCOS too. This is my first visit to your blog. Howdy! :)

pixiedreams8 said...

Funny Stuff & So True! The sad part is I am actually a cosmetologist (although I haven't worked in the field for years) and I am so challenged when it comes to all things make-up. I slap on some mascara and call it a day! ;)

Foursons said...

I've always wondered about that color match make-up. I just don't see how that would work, and now I know it doesn't! The lipstick number cracks me up. That falls under the category "What were they thinking?"

Thanks for linking up- I love ya' girl!

Ashley T said...

Ok so i where makeup, but not often enough to ever have that happen but I know its gonna happen! Love the letter though, first time visit!

Brandi said...

I'm entranced by your label cloud. Cool. Okay, I have to stop staring at it now. ;)

wife.mom.nurse said...

Good thing that Mr. Daddy does not read your blog ;)

Gotta love that lipstick... both the questionable number and on you boy!

K said...

soooooo funny
I loved the m-kay - so are you a south park fan too or was that a pun on Mary Kay ?
LOVE lancome and have often done the exact same with their mascara
Liquid foundation got so confusing once Lancome stopped making their foundations for oily skin - finally switched to "everyday minerals"

Stacy said...

LOL...love that picture! Kai has often asked why he can't have his nails painted while I paint Anya and mine. I even have a blue shade...so that is a boy color, right?? ;)

brian said...

"Grammur" is correct. No need to strike it out...

Did Itty learn how to do his lips by watching Mr. Daddy?

Lisa said...

I am with Kmama, 68. The "8" just doesn't look right as 89. My OCD comes in handy sometimes!

LOVE the lipstick shot! I have a great one of dylan to post soon with a pink bonnet on. Hilarious. My dad will freak though, lol.

I am glad I read this, cause that is SO the make up I was gonna buy! FOR REAL!!!!! So now I know......