Sunday, November 01, 2009

Not Me Monday

Is it really Monday already?  Where did the weekend go?  And why didn’t someone explain Daylight Savings time to our toddler?  Pfft.

MckMama hosts this weekly carnival… please be in prayer for little Stellan as he spends his birthday week in the PICU.

This week was so gobsmack full of Not Me’s that it was NOT ME who actually wrote a couple down for Itty Bit’s memory book.  Thanks kiddo… you’re gonna love me when your girlfriend reads it.

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It was not our (early rising) kiddo who woke us up this morning by clambering in-between the two of us.  Definitely not him who nixed the “good morning” and instead chose to greet me with, “Boobies!  One, Two!”

Yes honey, I’m glad you know how to count.  (And I’m really glad you counted right).  But when I’m in flannel pajamas – they just don’t count, honey.

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And it wasn’t the same kiddo that kept leaning over and giving me kisses at dinner.  I thought it was so sweet, until of course I realized that pieces of chicken from his plate were not showing up on my plate.  Sneaky sneaky!  Who on earth taught you that?

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This couldn’t be because my kid is not a carb king, right?

carb

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See Mr. Daddy making a yummy pot roast in the background of that pic?  (Alright girls, enough looking at my man’s butt).  I lifted the lid and said, “Mmm!  Smells delicious!”

Then took a mini-bladder break.  At which point (and every mother knows this) my child did not suddenly develop an urgent need to be in my presence.  He did not screech around the corner, throw the bathroom door open, take a sniff and say, “Mmm!  Smells delicious!”

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And seriously kid… what was up with the “Hey Mommy, let’s jump on the bed” thing?  I mean, the part where we were all jumping and having fun and you did not look right at me and say, “Mommy, you’re gonna break the bed”.

Yeah – thanks for that.

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And lest you think I was the only victim?

runningAh-Ma learned the hard way to ensure the kiddo isn’t behind you.  Cuz when she tried to figure out what he was doing, he most certainly was not wiping his nose on her butt.

(Sorry, TMI?)

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Just so you don’t think he got off scot-free this week… after watching him use his little battery-powered toothbrush on every surface in the bathroom, I did not happen upon a stroke of genius and clean my wedding set with it.  Not that I’d know, but I’d guess it works fabulously ;)

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And you know how God’ll get ya every time?  Yeah… two seconds later I did not start washing my face.  With my glasses on.

*sigh*

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And please tell me you didn’t miss the last part of the earlier post?  The one where we showed up at a church Trunk or Treat to find all kinds of inappropriate costumes for the youngsters to witness.  Like the hooker that Itty Bit was not caught poking in the butt with his fishing pole over and over again.  And I am still not laughing over my husband’s risque comment afterwards.

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And last but definitely not least… a terrific way to not confuse your husband… ask him “was that good for you last night honey?”  Especially after he did not fall asleep at 7pm in front of the game, sleepwalk to bed at 8pm and snore to wake the deaf until 8am the next morning.  Yeah, totally not a mean trick at all ;)

14 comments:

Lisa said...

I am trying SO hard not to laugh out loud and wake everyone here! LOL First off, I meant to mention in the other post, WHY ON EARTH was some one dressed as a HOOKER at the church Trunk or Treat? They deserved a jab in the behind. Grandma and the snot, another story!

And I never knew Mr. Rockin' Hottie Magnum Daddy packed such a bootie like that! Whoo hoo! Okay, I'll quit looking now!

And, mean, mean Rach for teasing Mr. Daddy that way! LOLOL NOT!

Pam D said...

Hooker... fishing pole.. wait, I GET it! Jesus was a fisher of men, right? See, the hooker lady just got a little confused... but then Itty Bit pulled the theme together and made it work...
As for wiping his nose on his grandmomma's behind.. well, that just ain't right. Sorry, Itty Bit.. but that's pushing the envelope.
And Rachel, are you sure that Mr. Daddy didn't just FORGET about last night? I mean, I know you're all that and a bag of chips, but still.. his memory ain't what it used to be! (and I won't even ASK about other things...) heh heh..
sorry. it's late. What do you want to bet I'll get up in the morning and delete this comment? anyone??

Sande said...

You caught me right there with the 'boobies' bit. I swear my boy will still be feeding in college ... !

Kmama said...

Great Not Me's. For some reason I had quite a few this week too.

I love your comment to Mr. Daddy. What was his reaction?

Shana said...

heeheee. Your kid is so funny!

Emily said...

ROTF! Y'all are too funny!

Stacy said...

Sounds like I really need to catch up on your weekend LOL! That hooker sounds interesting...at the church. ;)

Well, at least your son keeps your life interesting. Oh, and my kids very often interrupt my personal time in the bathroom. I have started locking the door since when we have our contractor friends over I don't necessarily need an audience. ;)

Foursons said...

You have a full-fledged boy on your hands! Bahahahahahaha!

And you need to tell us Mr. Daddy's reaction to your question. Did he look puzzled?

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

Oh my gosh...you are too funny!!! Poor Ah-Ma...but really what's a runny nosed little guy to do?!

Now I am off to read that previous post (apparently your trunk or treat was quite a bit different than ours :)

He & Me + 3 said...

Still cracking up about the fishing pole and the hooker. Too funny. do tell your hubs comment:)
You are so funny!

Melissa said...

Yeah really, what was that hooker doing at a church event!??? Seriously??? ....boys will be boys! Thanks again for the laugh!

Heather said...

Boobies and butts and bathroom blunders... if that kid doesn't end up Class Clown in his senior year book, I don't know WHO will!!!

Hilarious!!!

pixiedreams8 said...

Your kiddo is hysterical! I love, love the picture of him indulging in bread bliss. Don't get me started on the glasses, I am constantly getting in the shower with them still on my face!

City girl turned Country Girl said...

Your kiddo is just great!! So hilarious!! You always make me laugh!!