Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Christmas Ode to a Redneck's wife

by Mr. Daddy

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung on the bookshelf so nice,
In hopes they would fill no matter the price.

But a redneck is a redneck no matter what they say.
and his mind only works in limited ways.
And in those stockings hung with infinite care.
and under the tree, "O" what could be there?

Diamonds are nice, but priced so high
and what's up with roses' they only die?
Lotions and creams are in vogue it seems
but they are all scented and girly, what could this mean?

There are coats and hats and boots to choose from.
Do you think she would be mad if I bought her a gun?
The patterns of camo to choose from puts my mind in a spin.
but surely on her pretty face they will put a grin.

What need have we of The Bon or Claire's?
We have a Cabela's, yes we will shop there.
With full lines of RealTree, Primos and Glocks,
Winchesters and Remingtons, just what every girl wants.

For fishing, there's waders and poles galore.
Reels, hooks and sinkers, and "O" so much more.
My gal's a peach that I can get her these gifts;
she even lets me use them when she is home with the kids.

A new boat would be nice, but she is so demure.
She won't ask for one outright, but she will be happy I'm sure.
Inboard or outboard, cuddy cabin or sled;
I don't think she will care as she lays in her bed.

Now for a new truck to pull it, these decisions are hard
but I will sacrifice for her and get her a Ford.
A crew cab for all her buddies girlfriends, how thoughtful and nice...
with a spring over lift, big tires and chrome tail pipes.

My gal's a stylin - a real rednecks dream.
I'd buy her anything or so it would seem.
Can't wait for Christmas morning to witness the sight
of her screams of excitement, and pure delight.

Can't wait for morning to open our her gifts
each one bought with such thoughtfulness, her spirits to lift.
Truck, boat and equipment so perfect for me her
this Christmas will be special, just perfect I'm sure.

So my special Lady I do salute.
And for all this neat stuff she probably wont give a hoot.
but we she will be so happy excited and glad
cause she loves to share and that ain't so bad...

"O" how I love you, Lady of my dreams
you are so special, we make a great team.
Saint Nick couldn't of done better or so it would seem.
Cause this redneck can use them if you aren't too pleased..

Merry Christmas my dear, my aim was to please
it's just not to clear if they are for you or for me...

I love you Babe.


Ms. Sarah said...

merry christmas

Territory Mom said...

I'm a redneck's wife, that says it all. Merry Christmas!!!

brian said...

Now THAT is poetry my friend!

Merry Christmas Rachel and Mr. Daddy. Thanks for all of your support and kind words this past year. You two are the best :)

He & Me + 3 said...

Too cute. Merry Christmas to your sweet family.

Lisa said...

Nothing says true love and Christmas like RealTree! Get her some long johns too! But then she will need some of that creamy lotion cause thermal always makes me have dry skin, don't really know about her, but I am guessing so. What's up with that?

I can't believe you didn't mention a deer stand... oh, wait, you can just climb a tower somewhere and hunt then, if you're not too busy using the bathroom! LOL

I'm just glad I'm WAAAAAAAAAAAY across the ole US of A where even the tallest tower you could climb couldn't touch My Old Kentucky Home! LOL

On a serious note, that is a GREAT poem, Mr. Daddy. Did you come up with that all by yourself? I am highly impressed. I am sure Rachel is tickled pink, I mean camo, with her Glock. :)

trooppetrie said...

ok i think this poem was written for my husband. he is not that bad but i sometimes think this is his thought process

Shanda said...

Merry Christmas Rachel & Mr. Daddy!!

Loved the poem...does it make me a redneck that I actually wanted a Glock for Christmas? ;)

Blessings upon your precious family this Christmas Day and I pray God would pour out His favor and grace upon you all in 2010!

Foursons said...

You're a very talented man Mr. Daddy. Not only in penning that beaut of a poem, but in skillfully buying Rachel presents for her that are actually for you. I can't wait to hear her report of what she actually got!

Merry Christmas to you, Rachel, and Itty Bit.

Kmama said...

Oh my gosh. This had me cracking up. So Rachel, what did *you* get for Christmas??

Unknown said...

How sweet is that. So clever! Was this post your christmas gift : )?

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

My redneck papa didn't get us all a gun for Christmas but he did buy himself a big screen TV. That was for us. All. Sort of. Only we get to watch it once a week and he gets it all the time. With surround sound. And HDTV. Well....I liked the wash clothes I got in my basket I guess. :-) (And the glue stick) said...

Now that was just hilarious...very naughty...but hilarious!

Love it!

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