Friday, December 11, 2009

Letter of Intent by Mr. Daddy

Oh Julie... you have no idea how bigtime you scored.  I mean... Mr. Daddy himself wrote this week's Letter of Intent!  I don't take it lightly when the man deigns to grace us with his literary talent (unless of course, that literary talent includes vivid descriptions of bodily functions and pictures of his wifey's rear end :)

Here ya go - courtesy of Mr. Daddy:

Dear Spam Inbox,

Please self delete, as I am tired of receiving stupid e-mails. Such as:

From: United Nation Remit,
Subject: ATM Card: Ref, SNT/ATM/822
(who are these people and why would they want to give me an ATM card?)

Dear Sirs,
My own federal government takes enough already, and if they won't share with you see my local government. And please let me know how that works for you????


From: Dr. Frank White
Subject: Re: please confirm your ATM card. (HUH?)

Dear Sir,
If you work for the United Nations, please see above statement...

From: Kristen Bright
Subject: ????????? ??????? ??????? ??? (I kid you not)

Dear Kristen,
I think someone made a mistake on your last name ????? ????? ????? ??


From: Compensations @ 2009
Subject: Greetings to you (HHHHmmmmmm????)

Dear Compensations @ 2009
Greetings right back at you big fella, but no I am not interested.  I will get the American dream the right way.... I will earn it. Thank you very much....

From: United Nations (AAAAAaaaaaGGggggaaiiiinnnnnnnnnnn)...
Subject: No Subject (guess they just wanted to chat)

Dear United Nations,
If you want my attention, please put something in the subject line...

From Microsoft Award team
Subject: No subject

Dear Team
See above...
P.S. Aren't you guys supposed to be computer literate????

From: Sheik Fahdi
Subject: Charity For Mankind?? (are you kidding me)

Dear Sheik,
Forgive me if I misspeak, but I have not witnessed a lot of "Charity for Mankind" from your culture. Don't you consider all but your own to be Infidels??? I am sorry if I seem a little dubious of your good intentions. But all things considered, Thanks, but no THANKS!!!

From: Michelle Write
Subject: No Subject

Dear Ms Write
Do you work for the United Nations? Or perchance are you a member of Team Microsoft? If not see above message for both of these organizations..

From: Federal Bureau of Investigation
Subject: Federal Bureau of Investigation (how original)

Dears Sirs
Can't you make better use of my tax dollars than to e-mail me five times in a row on 11/12/2009 starting at 9:37 AM and ending at 9:48 AM?????


From: Mr. Victor Edward
Subject: Thank you

Dear Mr. Edward,
you are very welcome (I think, he seemed nice enough.)

From: Katya M.
Subject: The Reason of love matter most

Dear Katya,
The only reason I could see for that kind of love, would be if I hadn't already found the love of my life... (thanks but no thanks)


From: Bingo Lotto
Subject: YOU HAVE WON $850.000 US dollars (as compared to what other kind of dollars?)

Dear Bingo Lotto,
I will believe that when monkeys fly outta my butt....

(Rach in:  Dear, don't tempt fate...)


From: Ptwooy
Subject: Come on, Baby, gr8hunter7153 ("O" my, sure hope Rach doesn't see this one)

Dear Ptwooy,
Do you work in the same establishment as Ms. Katya???

From: Oll A
Subject: I want to find you, my prince! (I think my Princess, is going to have a problem with this???)

Dear Oll A
Would you let the rest of the gals in your crib know that I'm not interested!!!! PLEASE...

From: Dr. Scot Van
Subject? Hi, reply back

Dear Dr. Van (or whoever you are) I don't think so Dude!!!!

From: Mr. Allen Akoto
Subject: Good Day SIR/Madam

Dear Mr. Akoto,
Could you please be a little more specific????

From: Mrs. Johanne Brunet
Subject: CALL Dr. Bekkens

Dear Ms. Brunet
This might be totally off subject, but I just got to know..... Do you think your parents ever thought of naming you Ima???? Cause Ima thinking you might be blonde... trying to get someone to fall for this crapola...


And I will close with this one.... whose parents coulda named her Ringa...... (snicker)

From:Mrs. Monica Ting
Subject: Winning Number...............................................7467934 (go ahead and use them...If you are feeling lucky) LOL

Dear Mrs. Ting
I have decided to go with the present administrations direction and redistributed the wealth...
And I have shared with All of Bloggyland my winning numbers...LOL

Lots of luck people, see you in the soup line....ROFL

Sincerely, Mr. Daddy

Just got this one at the last minute...

From: FBI (sounds serious)
Subject: FBI office get back to us immediately

Dear Sirs
If you really want me that badly I'm sure you know where to find me...If not I will be in the soup line with all of my buddies....(*Hee Hee*)


Rach in:  Alrighty... I'm still snickering.  Time to go check out the rest of bloggyland at Foursons who got their Letters of Intent up a wee bit earlier on this blessed day before the weekend :)

Letters of Intent


Foursons said...

I literally LOL'd through this whole thing. What a great post idea. So great that I can't steal it. Darn it. Why do you have to be the master of fabulous blog post ideas Mr. Daddy? I mean really- cut the rest of us blogging wannabes some slack every once in a while, OK?

Thanks for linking up- I do believe I will have to reread this genius.

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

too funny!! Almost makes me want to see whats in my Spam folder!!

He & Me + 3 said...

I think I need to start reading my spam inbox before I just click delete. Some of these are too funny. LOL at the Gr8hunter7153..I mean how did Ptwooy even know that info? LOL

Michelle Pixie said...

Funny Stuff! I hate the spam inbox, I try to never check it but I am always afraid something good ended up over there and the 100+ number of emails always gives me anxiety. Mr. Daddy, you are a riot! Thanks for the laugh this morning. ;)

renee said...

soooooo funny!!!!!!! thanks, mr. daddy!!!

Brandi said...

OMW! I'm going to check my spam folder... these are hilarious!

Nocona said...

This is so funny I am going to have to have my husband read it. This one is geat!

Kmama said...

You sure get a lot of spam. Popular guy, eh? LOL

Anonymous said...

So funny! Now I'm curious and need to check to see what gems are waiting in my spam box!

Shana said...

That was definitely a great post! Sorry Rachel, i don't feel like I have commented a lot lately but maybe I have. Haha not really sure. It just feels like I have been really busy or something. Must be the Christmas season. yeah that's it.

Emily said...

Hilarious! Kristen Bright was my favorite.

brian said...

On the other hand, Mr. daddy, maybe you could help straighten out the U.N. :)