Monday, December 14, 2009

True Story Tuesday by Rachel

Hey y’all!  Time for True Story Tuesday – a place for all those family legends and random hilarious stories.  For those truly outrageous or miraculous moments.  Anything amazing and (mostly) true that has happened to you!

Y’all know the rules – just grab the button code from the sidebar, stick it in your post, then link it up for some comment love!

 

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Up On the Housetop Rach-Dear Pause

(Yeah, I know… corny… even for me.)

With all the holiday traditions being posted with loving descriptions and pictures all of your blogs, I thought I’d give y’all a dose of what the joyous reality can be like with me in your life.

We were about to celebrate Christmas in a the new house in the burbs.  We were living here:

house

Except that there were no houses nearby.  It was a brand new neighborhood and there were a grand total of two completed and three under construction.

Me – the let’s go crazy with Christmas decorations chick - (remember the joyous part?) had ascertained that we most definitely needed to cheer up the lonely neighborhood.

So we pulled these out:

christmas-lights_0357-sm

(Umm, actually we didn’t… it was those horrible icicle strands that blew up onto the roof eleventy hundred times daily, but we’ll forget that part, k?  Remember, joyous?)

So in an effort to assist with the joy-making, I joined the husband in untangling the ungodly mess laying out the lights on the roof.

We climbed through the second story window (see that arrow?) and carefully attached the lights to every single peak and corner.  Then turned back to do the second story and dormer.

The husband had placed a towel between the window and the frame… but man it was getting cold.  I went inside to grab another set of extension cords, hopped back out the window, kicked the towel out of the way so the window could shut and keep the breeze out, and took half a step.

Yes friends, it was the CLICK heard ‘round the world.  Even by a deaf person.

I knew without a shadow of doubt what had just happened.

The hubs had noticed the spring loaded locking mechanism on the window… the dear wifey had most assuredly NOT.

Deep breath, joyous ,remember?

So there we were… stuck on top of the roof.  With not a single soul around.

We tried yelling for awhile, but there wasn’t anyone to hear.  It got colder and colder.

Finally a car approached on the main road.  And I knew we were saved!  I recognized the awesome classic convertible that my coworker drove and knew he’d recognize us too!  So we jumped and waved and yelled our heads off!

Dave!  Dave!  We’re stuck!  Come here!  We’re locked out!  Dave!

Dave?

Dave!?!!???

Daaaaaaaaaave!!!!!!!!!!

The dude actually waved back at us and drove on by.

Yeah, joyous.

We were gonna be losing daylight soon and we were having to move to keep warm.  What could be worse?

(Trust me, NEVER ask yourself that).

Oh Lordy… it started to S N O W.

Snowflake_300hMultiply that picture by 50 million and you’ll have the mini-blizzard that suddenly joined our adventure.

That.was.it.  I’d had it.

See that little bay window sticking out on the right side of the house?  I crawled over the second story roof and hung like a terrified monkey until I finally prayed forgiveness for all my sins and dropped down onto the top of that tiny window.

And the joyous part?  I hung on too long and pulled that muscle that connects your neck to the rest of your body.  The one that, when injured, basically ensures you will walk around with your ear glued to your shoulder to lessen the pain.  Yeah, that one.

And after all that (says the joyous girl who is now scrunched in pain), the moment of idiot bravery passes and now I am TERRIFIED to jump from the first story down to the ground.

Completely logical, right?

All I can think of is landing on that concrete in a way that would guarantee splintered bones and dashed ballet company dreams (yes, I was still dancing at the time and it was Nutcracker season).  I just could NOT figure out how to jete myself safely off the roof.

So I cringed there in panic as the husband patiently (and with much exasperation) attempted to cajole me into leaping to certain death braving one more jump.

No dice.  I was royally freaked-out.  I was gonna be found by construction workers the next week, all curled up in a ball, covered in snowflakes, iced to the top of that bay window.  Joyous, people, joyous!

Suddenly, a random car pulled into the construction zone.  Both of us started screaming like it was the end of the world – jumping up and down and waving our arms (well, my one good arm).

Some guy couldn’t help but be drawn to the odd scene.  He pulled over and got out.  I wouldn’t have blamed him for pretending not to see us and gotten away from those joyous yahoos as quickly as he could…

He looked normal enough (I couldn’t say the same for us), and the husband tossed down his keys so the guy could go upstairs and unlock the window.

It took a LONG time.  And in my hypothermia/neck pain/panic… I finally yelled up to the husband,

“If he comes out with the TV, I’m JUMPING!”

Finally the dude opened the window, and the guys together pull me in through the office window above the bay window.  He cracked up at our story, explained that he doesn’t even live in the state and is only visiting for the holidays.  Ear glued to my shoulder, I awkwardly offered Mr. Stranger Dude my thanks.  (I mean, the guy pulled me in through the window by my bra.  My BRA, ladies!)

The lights were finished in a record 5 minutes.  And let’s just say that the house looked pretty darn joyous until March.

~

And Dave… you totally owe me one.

Real funny of you to go to work and tell everyone how dumb we were to be putting up lights while it was snowing.  Yeah dude… God’ll get ya :)

~

Come on – you’ve gotta have some terrific Christmas stories that are as joyous as this one, right?  Just link up your old or new post below and we’ll spread some holiday comment cheer!

 

23 comments:

Kmama said...

Oh my goodness. Seriously? How do you manage to get into these situations?? I laughed so hard at this one!!

Tara G. said...

That is so funny! Sorry, but I can't help but imagine you in a tutu hanging there! But in all seriousness, I've always wanted to be a ballerina.

Nocona said...

That is funny now and we know it turned out fine. That is like the stuff that happens on TV. Wow! I thought my true story misadventure was bad but this one takes the cake.

Foursons said...

OK, I wasn't sure about linking up wrote I wrote for today but you may have convinced me.

Sarah said...

I really think you live a more interesting life than I do, at times anyway :)

My TST has been posted. I finally came up with a good story that didn't turn into "well you had to be there, I guess."

renee said...

rachel, your stories are SO funny! girl, you really get into some awesome messes! :)

Emily said...

ROTF! I'm laughing so hard. And I doubt that guy was bummed by having to pull you in by your bra. I mean, really, do you know a guy who doesn't take advantage of an opportunity to come into contact with a bra!?

Stacy said...

Only you guys...only you guys. ;) My goodness, you have so many stories of mayhem and mishaps! Too funny! I bet you gave your friend and earful the next time you saw him. Doesn't he understand frantic waving over friendly waving???

Foursons said...

OK- I linked up girly. And when I read my previous comment the first "Wrote" = what. *sigh* Some days it doesn't come so easily. I ended up writing another post entirely- the first one didn't make the cut. (And I'm not to sure about this one now either.) Some days it's just tough! I'm going to start praying for Rachel and Mr. Daddy adventures minus the painful, dangerous parts.

And seriously? You were dangling off the roof? Did I read that right? I like Tara's idea of you wearing a tutu at the same time. Maybe ya'll could do a reenactment and take pictures for us.

Did you give your knight in shining armor some Christmas cookies for rescuing a damsel in distress?

Melissa said...

By your bra!!! oh my! I just love coming to visit for your true stories...Rachel you make me laugh!

HeatherOz said...

Oh man that is hilarious! You must have known, deep down, that you were going to need blog material some day!

I'm working on my post right now to link up. Stopped by to grab your code!

He & Me + 3 said...

What a sweet coworker you have. Thank God for complete strangers...he was like the good Samaritan, even if he did pull you in by the bra..better that than the thong...am I right? LOL you are hysterical.

Pam said...

OMG, I can just see this happening! You have way to many funny stories. Thanks for sharing this one.

Michelle Pixie said...

Oh Girl, I can't even imagine how terrifying that must have been, but it made for a good TST! The fear of my hubby plunging to his death is why we opted for lights in the trees and decorations in the yard this year. We have three kids and there is no way I am doin it on my own! ;)

semicrunchymama said...

OMG, that's hysterical! I can only imagine how terrifying it was at the time...but it definitely made for a great story later on!

Brandi said...

Y'all need a reality show. I'd watch. :P

Lisa said...

I am with Julie, I need a reenactment. With the tutu. Dave has to drive by and wave, too. Just saying.

I cannot believe you dangled off the ledge, but I would rather dangle and land on more roof than jump to the actual ground myself.

And I pulled THAT muscle in high school. Stayed home 3 days. Thought I was gonna die it hurt so bad. Looked like I had a bone disorder or something.

I would say that only these things happen to you, but unfortunately (for me) my family is blessed/cursed by the same ungodly talent as yours. Things happen to us that would only happen to you! LOLOLOL

Trish said...

Holy Moly, what a story! I wish I could remember more stories that would be great for True Story Tuesdays!

Im so glad that you guys got rescued!!!

brian said...

Jump from the bay window to save oneself (and spouse) from certain death by hypothermia? Never.

Jump from the bay window to rescue the TV! Without hesitation!

Love it...

Lisa said...

Yeah, amen to Brian's "Love it!" Meant to mention that also! LOLOLOL

Muthering Heights said...

LOLOLOL, this has to be the BEST Christmas light story EVER!!!! I'm so tweeting this!

momof3darlings said...

OMGosh I LOVE it!! HAHAAHAHAHAHA!!! You are the funniest lady EVER! Do you still hang Christmas lights at all? :D

wife.mom.nurse said...

Oh my gosh! That is a great story!!!

Come on...you gotta be making these up...all of these things could not happen to one family :)