Monday, January 18, 2010

True Story Tuesday by Mr. Daddy

Good Lord friends!  Last week was AWESOME with all the fun links.  I promise, we made our way to all of them and left some good ol' comment appreciation - after laughing to tears all day!  Thanks for sharing!

Are y'all rested up after a long weekend?  Ready for another True Story Tuesday?  While Rach hides her head (and hair) in shame after last week's episode, this week is brought to you by none other than the brutally honest Mr. Daddy.

Your first time playing along?  Don't be shy!  You're bound to already have a post that qualifies as True Story Tuesday material... anything outrageous, amazing, hilarious, miraculous and (mostly) true that has happened to you.  It's those blogworthy moments that make life fun.  And who doesn't love a little comment love?

Sooo - grab the button code from the side bar, include it in your post, then come back and link up your post address so we can all share in your TST moments!

Now, I nervously hand the keyboard over to my charming husband...



Alright Ladies don't judge me...

Let me begin by telling on myself, I have gas!!!!

(Rach in: Good Lord man. I am quaking in fear for where this is going... in public, no less)

Well not any more than the next guy (or gal) I'm guessing...But I do get it on occasion....Like almost every time I eat. And I might add Rach says that Beano is just an accelerant...

So.... what is one supposed to do about this little inconvenience???

Like most things in life you just have to make the best of it. Kinda like when life gives you lemons you make lemonade.... Right????

Or you got to look at it in the right way, maybe your glass is half full instead of half empty....

(Rach in: Oh honey, it isn't the GLASS that is half full...)

At the very least you have to turn that natural gas into positive energy...

Now it's not like I sit around in a yoga induced trance meditating, legs crossed, hands resting lightly on my knees with finger and thumb in the circle position, trying to figure out what to do with this little encumbrance...

I just go with my old pappy's advice,

Better to fart and bear the shame, than not to fart and bear the pain.....

That advice has served me well through the years, but as I am not particularly fond of shaming myself, I usually try to make light of the issue. As a well-adjusted properly-taught redneck boy, with a little self education here and there, I have learned a few tricks to advert the shame issue...

I am not going to divulge all of my secrets lest I meet any of you bloggy friends in the future, and I need to turn my embarrassment into laughter - and as this particular one is an old classic that everyone knows about. I will tell you about what happens when you try to be a responsible parent and teach your young one about some of the finer points of life...

I have been teaching Itty Bit the pull my finger trick, it works rather well for the most part, but when you add in the exuberance of youth sometimes you just run out of gas... quite literally !!!

When this happens, and he is pulling on my finger like a drowning man clutching at a life line...
I tell him that I have run out of juice.

Being the bright young boy that he is, he is catching on quite nicely for the most part. Although he does get a little confused on his timing, as evidenced by what happened when he ran up to his mother the other day and proudly held out his finger and said...PULL MY FINGER.

She promptly complied, and he announced with all the verve of a three year old...

I outa uice!!!! (
which left her quite speechless...)

and as proud as I am of my Itty Bitty guy, I still think that there is some confusion as to what he thinks it means, because he ran straight to the refrigerator got the apple juice out and spilt it all down the front of his shirt...

Yeah! I have taught him well, who needs a glass?

I feel like the Austin Powers villian, I have my very own mini me...LOL


(pull my finger!)

(Rach In: M O R T I F I E D. The man is on a mission to destroy any vestige of respect I might have tried to earn... tell me y'all have husbands like this?  Please?  And don't by shy about sharing all about 'em in the links below... I need some sisterly support right about now :)


Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma said...

Oh that's too funny! My boys have taken it a step further and have learned that people don't like it when you fart on them. You do something once.... or so my husband as learned. We had to explain that it was funny that ONE time but not all the time, lol! It fell on deaf ears.

Life with Kaishon said...

This is just what I needed to start my day! A good fart story : ) HILARIOUS!

Kmama said...

I LOVE it. I have a big ol' grin plastered to my face right now. And, it's like Itty Bit knows. Apple juice will bring on more "juice" if you drink enough! ;-)

I did Post It's this week, but I'll be back with a vlog next week of the cricket chirp, and a true story to go along with it!

danette said...

ROFL, that is too funny! My twins used to call it "poo-poo gas" because they got confused about what was what (lol) and that helped them differentiate. :)

Emily said...

So, I'm getting an idea of what Saturday night is like at your house...
Ha! I can't believe you blogged about tooting!

Foursons said...

When a foul smell passes my nostrils (which is frequent in a house filled with men) I often turn to my hubby and ask, "Did you just fart?!" and he will reply, "No, but would you like me too?" Ugh. Men.

Foursons said...

Mr. Daddy- in response to your comment on my oh so riveting post today...the bulb was burnt out, which is why I found the strange phenomena in the first place. And honestly- this is one of those mysteries that will go down in history because I don't know the rest of the story!

Queen of Quite A Lot said...

I'll let you in on a little secret: Sometimes a proper Southern woman will birth a precious little girl baby who she will dress in lots of Feltman Bros. smocked dresses with bows in her hair, but nonetheless said girl may grow up to fart like a Gatling gun despite all her mother's efforts at raising a proper young lady.

And a friend of mine's son likes to say, "Better to burp and taste it than fart and waste it." The time he said it in front of lots of people from church almost killed her.

Jana said...

HA! yeah I have a house of boys, you cannot mention any form of gas around here without them saying "haha, she said gas" or "ill show you some gas" Rach, ya there? I feel for ya girl, boys will be boys....

Momma Pixie said...

Hehehe! I read once somewhere that the average person breaks wind on average 14 times during a day...A little tidbit of useless information?! This may also be TMI but my MIL was once hospitalized for not passing gas so it is highly encouraged in our family as long as an “excuse me” is promptly followed and if it smells you need to take it to the bathroom. ;)

Lisa said...

Oh lordy. This is so funny. And with two males in our household, we often encounter the same situation. Dylan is just learning it is "funny" to 'toot' and it is actually still funny to us too, so you can tell it hasn't been too bad! LOL Going for the apple juice CRACKED me up.

Not that I would ever do this *ahem* but if you are in Walmart (or any store with a shopping cart) and have a kinda young kid sitting or tagging along, PERHAPS women could pass their toots off on said child. Just saying.

brian said...

A proud, proud, proud, proud moment.

Your work is done here, Mr. D :)

(Hey, nice pick up truck BTW)

HeatherOz said...

Too funny! I've got three boys in the house who all think fart games are the most hilarious thing you could ever do!

Shana said...

Oh no. Chris is teaching Blaze the pull my finger trick too. I told him when he goes to the nursery workers and church and asks them to pull his finger it is all on him. Thanks for the laugh.

chili pepper said...

I can't get passed a guy that is cool enough to write on your blog AND visit other blogs AND leave comments.

Little note: might I suggest a good quality acidopholus taken at breakfast to reduce that problem? It must be a good quality brand (refrigerator to make sure the little guys are plenty alive... no brand sold on the shelf will do) like Renew Life Ultimate Flora???

Happy day!


He & Me + 3 said...

My brother who is 35 I might add still tries the pull my finger with my kids. When he breaks out the finger & the wind we all far as we can. Why are fart games so funny. My mom found a fake finger that you pull & it farts for you. Good times...thanks Mom!
BTW...Stunt Man loves this game too and also says that he is empty when he is all out of juice:)

Pam said...

LOL.....oh my gosh...I remember my Dad and the finger pull!

Pam D said...

Y'all just ain't right... ;<0
I don't have a TST today; honestly, there are too many things going on around here that are keeping me from being "light-hearted", and I just can't put one together. BUT... Mr. D's story did remind me of a funny, so I'll do a li'l TST here in my comment.
My first husband is an airline pilot, and he had some pretty funny stories to tell from his flights. One time, a flight attendant came up to the cockpit just about to die laughing. She was serving beverages (remember the days when you actually got drinks and a MEAL on a flight?) and got to a row where a well-dressed man was sitting next to an older, overweight, sloppily dressed woman. As the flight attendant leaned over to ask what they would like to drink, she suddenly became aware of .. shall we say.. an odor. Something akin to maybe a dead possum that had lain under the seats for a week or so. She was well-trained and tried her best not to react, but her eyes were watering, and she couldn't help but to wrinkle her nose. Of course, she assumed that the the woman had cut loose with one, but the woman would have none of that slander. She glared balefully up at the flight attendant and snarled, "It weren't me; it were HIM (pointing at the man next to her)! I saw him TILT!" Yeah, there might have been a red-faced businessman and a LOT of snickers after that one...

Anonymous said...

LOVE this! My husband's been "working" with my son on the farting thing, much to my dismay...

(OK, OK...I'll admit it. Farts are pretty funny!)

I entered my first true story this week! (Go me!!). There's no way it'll compare to this one, but it made me giggle (OK, snort) so I figured I'd share. :)

Brandi said...

We don't do the 'pull my finger' anymore... the boys have wised up to that one. Now the game is to sneak up on an unsuspecting recipient and let er rip, so to speak. I shall not divulge that the boys have dubbed me silent but deadly 'cause that would be very unladylike.

Lauren said...

Hilarious! My hubby didn't fart in front of me the entire time we were dating. I thought I had found the perfect man! Then on our wedding night he let one rip in the bed that could have peeled paint. When I complained he informed me that he had had a stomach ache for the last year and that now that we were married he didn't see the need to hold it in any longer!

Pam D said...

Hahaha Lauren!!! Perhaps there needs to be a prenup for that... ya think? Or at least something in the vows...

Michelle Hoad said...

We laugh like maniacs when our two year old says "I fawted". I know we shouldn't but we can't help it.

Michelle Hart said...

I can totally relate with you Rach. My husband is totally disgusting. I even wrote a blog post about boys and farting. They really are quite disgusting.

GunDiva said...

My oldest son didn't know the word for "fart", so when he was about a year and a half old, he let one rip and immediately clapped both hands over his butt, his eyes big and round and reverently said, "my butt burped!" It was about the cutest thing ever. Well, it was when he was two. Now that he's eighteen, not so much.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

That is adorable. You and my husband must NEVER meet. There is a lot of finger pullin' going on around here. And, let's just say that the juice doesn't always smell... fruity.

Mrs. NB

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