Monday, January 04, 2010

True Story Tuesday by Mr. Daddy

Time for True Story Tuesday y'all!  A chance to share your hilarious, miraculous, outragous, amazing, and (mostly) true stories that have happened to you!








The new year is young, but it's starting off with a bang... and I bet yours is too!  Just grab the code from the sidebar and add your old or new post to the links - we'll be around with some comment love!

~

POST(ERIOR)-STRESS-TRAUMATIC-DISORDER




OK.

They say that confession is good for the soul!!!!

And seeings as I can use all the goodness that I can find, I have a confession to make..

Every since this post: JUST SAY NO TO CRACK, I have been in therapy. Granted it is a self-help styled therapy, Ya know the kind that all good rednecks use.

Cheap, easy to use, and mostly by correspondence....

To my credit I have been doing quite well....Thank you very much!

Even Rach has been helping out, she rarely shouts out now when she sees any B.C. (aka Butt Crack) as she knows how traumatic it is for my fragile state, and has no desire to be the cause of any more couch time for me...


Now a little background would probably do well now, although I am a proud redneck red-blooded American male, I have some firmly held views on dress and codes thereof...

As firmly as I hold the belief that spandex is a privilege and not a unalienable right of women; men of a certain size, or with no hips or a$$ should always wear suspenders or a belt (period... NO EXCEPTIONS.......)

Not even if your house is on fire and it is licking at your backside with vigorous aplomb, one should "ALWAYS" think ahead and prepare for the unexpected, and have the right accoutrement attached to your trousers...

This is an unarguable, self-evident fact.... (don't judge me)

Let me state that I do have some friends acquaintances that have this problem, and I don't hold it against them, Butt I do give subtle hints when they are smiling with the wrong end...

Hints like: HEY DUDE.....NICE MOON.

Or the guy at work, "Hey Sam that's a nice smile but you forgot to put your dentures in...." (maybe that's how he got his nickname, Two Smile Sam???)

I mean really, we live in the Pacific Northwest, there is always a breeze blowing here, they invariably give small craft warnings on the six o'clock news...

THERE ARE JUST NO EXCUSES...

So you can imagine the extreme shock to my psyche, when this weekend we were outside and I look around to see where Itty Bit is, and I am greeted with this sight.




I AM STUNNED!!!!!!!

It is my Boy!!! the fruit of my loins!!! blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh!!!

I become conscious of a high keening sound, a hysterical shrieking. I find myself on my knees rocking back and forth holding my head... It was loud enough to wake the dead, or at the least get the attention of my deaf wife.

(Rach in: Hardy-har :)

She came running over, sure that I had cut my foot off with the axe the I had been using. Upon learning the real reason for my distress, she promptly started my new therapy...SHE LAUGHED AT ME!!!!

"O" the horror - My Son in full view. Oblivious to the world and all its ridicule of overexposure of B.C. Happily posting up with a full view of the cutest little tush that I had ever seen...

I must conclude that the old saying is quite true, that ignorance is bliss. We went to the lake later that afternoon, and as part of my new therapy Rach had not installed suspenders or put a belt on Itty Bit...

And as sure as God made little green apples, there he was throwing rocks in the lake in the middle of the park - the happiest little guy that you will ever see...




I can't figure out why Rach jumped up and did this after she saw me taking pictures of Itty Bit?!?


(no spandex issues with this chica)


(Rach In:  Good Lord man, you will shame me off of my own blog!)


But the way that Rach looked at me you would think that she was the one in need of therapy...........


Now whats up with that????

(Rach In: This hereby marks the FOURTH time my rear end has made an appearance on the blog, thanks hon...)

~

Alrighty - y'all know the drill.  We love us some True Stories and we'd love to read YOURS!  Please don't leave us with the "this kind of stuff only happens to you guys" thing ;)

~

50 comments:

Rachel said...

Uhh, thanks hon. The kiddo just looked at the pics and said, "That's my butt! That's my butt with a dumptruck! That's my butt throwing rocks!"

I didn't dare let him see the one of MY butt!

Pam D said...

Lawd. He can throw rocks with his BUTT? Seriously, Mr. Daddy, I would have thought you would have been proud of that. That's quite a trick; ALMOST as good as getting yourself locked in the doghouse PERMANENTLY for posting pics of your wife's (shapely) posterior on her very own blog. Hey, at least they make heated dog beds now... you might want to look into that.

Mr. Daddy said...

HHHHHhhhMMMmmmm!!!! heated dog beds???

Now that is some sage advice from a plethora of years experience I'll bet..*snicker*

Thanks for the tip Pam D.

and thanks for the compliment of my wifes (shapely) Ahem.. Posterior


I totally agree :o)

Queen of Quite A Lot said...

I think I figured out how to schedule to post so I'll be linking up in the a.m. after I make sure it did in fact post. Apparently great minds think alike because I too used the word accouterments in my TST. And if I do say so myself, this one is really gonna make the guys giggle ~ and possibly some of the gals too.

Lisa said...

Have you no decency, Mr. Daddy? Putting Itty Bit's BC on the web for all to see? Oh, what's that you say? I did the same thing to my nephew? How did you know that? LOLOL At least little tushies aren't like all 60+ year old gross, stinky, yucky, icky BC's. Ugghh. How long til you fit in that category, Mr D? lol Cause I got plenty of suspenders left that belonged to my Papaw. Just so you know, just in case ya need a pair.

And I must say, what a cute tushie Rachel is showing off by protecting sweet, innocent Itty Bit's BC from further display! *sigh*

Rachel said...

Somehow, y'all are embarrassing me MORE!

Please note that the actual sequence of the photos is that I bent down by Itty Bit and Mr. Daddy gleefully aimed the camera at the same time that I felt a slight breeze. UGH! Thank goodness for ballet reflexes in jumping up to defend myself (though it was far from graceful).

And if you will please be so kind to notice the slightly flared nostrils in the (ugh) photograph of me... that indicates to anyone who knows me that they are about to go try out that heated dogbed...

Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma said...

Awww, I love baby BC - its too cute! Just like that cute little girl running around on the bottle of sunblock. I'm gonna do my first True Story Tuesday right now!

HeatherOz said...

You CAN'T say no to THAT crack!

Lisa said...

LOLing at the the heated dog bed. Good thing Pam brought that to your attention. I am sure Mr. Daddy will be very grateful for it. :)

And I liked the picture. I call it "Don't Mess With Me Rachel."

Jewelz said...

Oh you two just CRACK me up {{rolling around on the floor holding stomach}} ..... I though for a moment I had opened my photo's when I started seeing butt crack. My darling heart has butt crack issues, actually I think it is genetic...his brother has the same problem, as does our little Belle. Now when ever I see a crack, I look for things to post!!! Pop sticks, grass, 10 cent pieces...if it's smiling at me, it's begging to have something inserted ☺☺☺ Rach for people that DON'T dance EVER, they suddenly develop ballet skills to surpass Baryshnikov bwahahahahaha :0)
Thanks for linking me up this week my friends.
Much love
xXx
Jewelz

Jewelz said...

Two from me this week, one that Rach asked if she could Link up...and this week I also have a Guest Blogger! The baby of the Byrne's Brood, Belle, is getting in on True Story Tuesday (with a little help from Mumma ~winks~)

Cheers all
xXx
Jewelz

Kameron said...

Haha! Natey has taken to going comando when he wears his "cozy pants". Every time he bends down to get a toy his mini crack is hanging out! It is somehow less offensive when the crack is small! Ha~!

Kmama said...

LOL!! He's got such a cute B.C.!!

Sorry I'm not linking up this week. I had a post ready, but it fell short of greatness. :-(

Emily said...

Haha! I'm not a fan of the B.C. either, but I can think of worse to see than Itty-Bit's!

Aunt Crazy said...

Itty-Bits bc is a-ok in my book...LOL My great-nephew, Pickle, has BC showing all the time, in a diaper no less...LOL

Life with Kaishon said...

Ha Ha Ha Ha HA : ) How funny. And LOVE that your butt made an appearance on your blog Rachel. How great is that : )

Sarah said...

Say NO to crack! No one wants to see that. Just like no one needs to see the thong you're wearing. Seriously.

Nocona said...

That is funny. Reminds me of yesterday when I was at Hobby Lobby and the girl working there putting my displays was bent over in front of me with a half moon peeking out of her pants. I wanted to go over there and pull her pants up for her. Lol

Tiffany said...

I think the best part is that Itty Bit was so proud that his BC made it onto the blog. Y'all are too funny!

Together We Save said...

This is to funny... I too hate the "crack attack".

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

You guys are soooo funny! And, you know your poor son is going to kill you one day! I think I am going to link up today... it has been WAY too long!!! ;0)

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Momma Pixie said...

Hehehe! He does have one cute little tooshie! I think I would die if my hubby ever posted a shot of my hind!

Pam D said...

Rach, you don't HAVE to use a HEATED dog bed, ya know. Just saying'... ;<)

Jana said...

just found your site!, super fun! I couldnt figure out what Pam D was talking about with true story Tuesday but now I know=D I totally added a link to my latest story...

Foursons said...

Sorry Mr. Daddy- but honestly most of your stories qualify as...it could only happen to you and Rachel.

This one however is quite common. I've posted on it myself as a matter of fact. And Itty Bit's tush is quite possibly the world's cutest. Ahem. That's from a mom's perspective not some weird pervert perspective. Just want to make that clear.

Jana said...

Hi Rachel! thanks for coming by to see me!!! funny you should ask, today's post just went up, its all about my silly little dog! She is a cockapoo cocker spaniel poodle mix, she doesnt shed! whooo! =D

Buckeroomama said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. :) I'm glad you did...and now I'm over here enjoying yours!

WOW to all your I Heart Faces wins! I really love the photos on your blog.

(Yes, I do Baby Signs and it's the best thing ever! Both mine were signers, although my son hardly signs anymore. My girl still signs once in a while and loves to learn new signs, especially when she is learning new concepts.)

City girl turned Country Girl said...

You guys absolutely CRACK me up!!! This has to be one of my favorite posts of your thus far LOL!!!! Thanks for all the giggles!!

Becca said...

ahahaha this totally cracked me up! Seriously, but can i say I would never let Adam put a picture of my rear end on my blog. Luckily yours is nice Rach! :-)

Killlashandra said...

To cute. I tease my husband too and then he runs off and finds a belt. But considering he spends his life with his head below his butt he takes crack very seriously. LMAO

Jana said...

DANG! I totally moved all the way to TN just a couple of months ago! we are military:( darn! we were neighbors almost!

He & Me + 3 said...

Too funny. Little crackers I can handle it is when the big crackers come out that I have to just run. LOL

brian said...

Good yarn, Mr. D.

Kid's got plumbers butt :) No offense to plumbers or other pre-schoolers.

"Aplomb"..."keening"..."fruit of my loins"...love it...

Not sure I agree about having to hitch up before fleeing a burning building though. Tends to be a "come as you are" event, in my experience :)

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