Monday, January 25, 2010

True Story Tuesday - It's too late to ground me, right?

Somehow, I didn’t ever think the day would come where I would rat myself out to an entire population of bloggy friends… especially the readers who may fill a certain couple in (cough mom&dad cough) on my misdeeds.

But that’s what True Story Tuesdays are for, right?  Coming clean with all the craziness that no one could believe all happens to one person.  Sharing all those tales that are almost too funny/outrageous/miraculous/hilarious to be true.

Come on, you know you’ve got a few of your own.  Heck, you’ve probably already posted a few.  Just grab the code under the True Story Tuesday button on the sidebar, add it to your link, then come back and plug in your post link for some comment love.

After all, that’s what True Story Tuesdays are for, eh?

 

Now, if you guys don’t see me around for awhile… you’ll know my parents caught wind of this story and decided to ground their 30-something daughter for something that happened two decades ago.  But you have only yourselves to blame.  After all, you asked for it…

~

DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER MOM AND DAD

Remember my last TST?  I mean, who could forget?  The crazy Kirby vacuum cleaner getting tangled in my hair and smacking violently into my forehead repeatedly while my father sat and laughed himself silly.

Now I wish I could say I got my revenge on the Kirby vacuum, but that beast just wouldn’t die.

But that camper… well the camper was another story.

Remember these?

Camper

Well, I wasn’t overly fond of camping – being the prissy city girl that I was (my family laughs maniacally at the thought that I now live in the country with three horses behind the house).  I certainly didn’t have much use for the fake hotel that didn’t even have a bathroom.  And I certainly didn’t have any use for it since I had to help clean it when I didn’t even want to go anywhere in it.

With summer past, I could breathe a sigh of relief.  We wouldn’t be going anywhere in the rain.  And we sure wouldn’t be going anywhere in the snow.

Speaking of snow… we finally had a day home to play in it.  We bundled up – my sis and I…

scan0002

Yes, this was taken on the actual day of this TST.  Oh great… now I’m gonna get all sad and everything because that crazy little sister decided to up and move and leave me to drown my sorrows Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream all by myself…

(Next time you mention wanting THICK hair, take a look at this picture and just feel sorry for me, k?  Thanks to PCOS, this isn’t a problem anymore, but golly – try taming that before school every morning!)

And Mom… if you’re reading – even though I already told you not to – remember that you LOVE that picture, and you especially love your oldest daughter who would never do anything intentionally to upset you.

Sooo… we headed outside for some major snowball fights just a few moments after that classic 80’s picture was taken (I was so rockin’ that acid wash denim jacket).

We shriek and scream and dodge and pelt our way through most of the snow in the driveway.  My sis starts grabbing handfuls of snow off the truck.

Well, I have a better idea.

(Aren’t you glad, for the sake of your entertainment, that I have such spectacular ideas?)

I haul myself bodily onto the hood of the truck (sorry Dad), and clamber up the windshield (Mom is wincing… I told you guys to quit reading).  I hang like a rock climber from the cab-over part of the camper (I was less than 5’ tall, I didn’t say it was a GOOD idea).  Then finally scramble onto the top of the camper.

Whoo-hoo!  King of the hill!  My poor sis is getting pelted with snowballs from above – from my exceptionally brilliant vantage.

She shrieks, attempts a few feeble retaliatory snowballs, then retreats around the back end of the truck.

By golly, I wasn’t going to let her get away with that!  Not when the supremely non-athletic me had finally found a way to best her throwing skills.

And as I went to follow her from above… I took two steps on the top of that snow-covered camper and…

(Look away Mom & Dad)

 

I FELL THROUGH.

 

Oh, it wasn’t enough that I just (ahem) BREAK something, but my entire right leg goes through the plastic ceiling vent and I am wedged tight.

Oh Golly.

And darn those siblings with perfect hearing… that little sister stopped dead in her tracks and turned around with a look of pure shock on her face.

“What was THAT???”

“nothing”

“That wasn’t NOTHING, what was it?”

“nothing”

“What happened?”

Then followed an extremely painful series of negotiations in which I believe I agreed to do my sister’s chores and eat her vitamins for 14 years.

I managed to somehow extract my leg with only minor injuries, but my physical wellbeing would be in far greater jeopardy if my dad found out what had happened to his camping treasure.

So… ummm… I… I… I didn’t tell him.

That’s right folks.  I somehow managed to pay my sister off long enough for her to forget  about the “incident”.

Except ‘til early summer.  When Dad went out to ready the camper for our next trip.

And opened the door to discover massive damage.

Golly gee.  Something had broken the vent, left broken plastic all over, and had allowed all that snow to just pile into the inside of the camper and Lordy, that mildew was something else.  Baffling, truly  baffling…

~

Seriously folks, this will be the first time my parents have heard the real reason for that mystery disaster that claimed our camper.  Pray that I will somehow managed to sneak this post under the radar, so as not to jeopardize future blogging.  Otherwise you may just have to petition for my release from cruel and unusual punishment (oh Lord, they’re gonna make me go camping, aren’t they???)

~

I know you’ve got some great stories – and we’d love to see ‘em!  Link up below and we’ll be around with some comment love!  Happy True Story Tuesday y’all!

35 comments:

Mr. Daddy said...

OK Dear. What is it worth to you for me not calling your parents and telling them to read your confession???? LOL

Rachel said...

You.are.kidding.me...

Duuuude - we LIVE next to your parents. Do you honestly think I'm not gonna just open the bathroom window next time you're singing in the shower?

Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma said...

That's too funny! I love telling my parents all the crap that I did - just cause they can't ground me now -Ha Ha! That was seriously a miracle that your sister didn't tell on you for something so big, that must have been so hard for her.

Why is it that we all have that same acid wash, sherpa lined jacket? Actually, I think that I even had two! I know, I'm rad.

renee said...

priceless.

Emily said...

Um, yep, your grounded. For life. And probably the afterlife too. It was nice knowin' ya. :D
And I still want thick hair. And you totally rocked that jacket.

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh no! And there was even mildew! EEEKS! I hope they forgive you when they read this : )

Kmama said...

Holy crap. Yeah, you are so GROUNDED! LOL

I had a coat just like that, except mine had a flannel lining. LOL

Michelle Hart said...

I'll be praying for you, because I think you'll need it! :)

Aunt Crazy said...

OMG...I think I peed myself a little...LMAO!!! I hope your parents read this and laugh and tease you forever...hahahahahaha

Pam said...

To funny. YOu will have to come back with another True Story Tuesday to let us know you punishment from you parents since they now know the truth!!

Pam D said...

Oh dear. I can't believe you told that. Really... you are so busted! There are several things in my past that would make excellent TST's, but there is NO way that I'm puttin' them out there. You are a brave woman (especially with Mr. D as your hubby... the human P.A. system, I'm thinkin'....) Let us know how it worked out for you, IF you're allowed access to the computer...

Queen of Quite A Lot said...

Just tell them the guilt you've carried all these years in silence has been more than enough punishment and you're so glad you no longer have to bear this burden alone. Thenlet me know how long until they stop laughing. This story is hilarious!

brian said...

I will not stand on the camper
I will not stand on the camper
I will not stand on the camper
I will not stand on the camper
I will not stand on the camper
I will not stand on the camper
(Write this about 1.5 million more times....)

Stacy said...

LOL...I would have done the same darn thing! Never bring on the IRE of dad when it comes to his favorites things in the whole world. I also feel your pain with camping. We "camped" about every weekend in the summer as we were always competing in rodeos, so overnights were pretty frequent. At least they usually had showers and toilets on the rodeo grounds. I have NO desire to go camping now...even years away from it.

So... I have a story today of my childhood and my brush with the law that I inferred to about a month or so back. I'm nothing if not timely. ;)

K said...

OMG such a funny story
Rach the adventures you have !!!
Please tell Mr Daddy a thank you for his lovely comment on my blog - that is one of my fave poems - and I think that poem an inspiration for one book he is reading ( another old favorite of mine ) The Road less traveled

Sarah said...

God just a picture of a camper gives me bad memories....
But I guess everyone has a camper story, as you've just pointed out!
Thank you.

Foursons said...

Bahahaha- Darn those sisters and their perfect hearing! I would have had to have some serious ammo on my sisters to keep their mouths shut. They just LOVED to tattle!

What's even funnier is that you had the typical kid reaction when you do something really bad. You ran like a chicken with your head cut off, hid, and pretended it never happened. Love it!

I think Mom and Dad's reaction is desperately needed as a follow up. You must tell us how badly bruised your butt is from the whoopin' you so richly deserve. :D

Shana said...

Oooh you're in trouble! I would have totally done the same thing.

HeatherOz said...

Woohoo! Brave Girl!
That is way too funny! Please follow up with your parents reaction!

Momma Pixie said...

Ooooo you’re gonna be in so much trouble and I am dying to know what your punishment is going to be?! LOL! You know our kids will pay us back for the torture we did to our parents we just have to remind them of this and hope they realize this is their payback. ;)

Queen of Quite A Lot said...

OK, my 1st MckLinky thingamabob is wrong...that's why I had to do it again. I spelled .com wrong. After you read my post you'll see that I'm not myself today. Drats!

Brandi said...

Oooh you are SO grounded! LOL! That is hilarious!

Trish said...

That is hilarious...whats even more funny is that they never knew what happened until now!!

You and your funny stories...love them!

RaD said...

Ohhh.... That's good, I mean bad. Yikes I don't know what my parents would do know if I had done something like that. Probably laugh and then be a little perturbed.

This is my first time linking up!

Lauren said...

Oh my! I can't believe you didn't tell them! I think I would have cracked under the pressure!

Great hair, btw! I would kill for thick curly hair!

Lisa said...

OH, lordy Rach. This is just too much. I can only imagine what you looked like dangling from the camper top. LOL I am just glad you were able to bargain with your sister. Mine would have ratted me out SO the minute it happened! LOL Well, at least now they can't kill you cause of Itty Bit, so at least you'll just get a wearing out and the silence treatment, or a never ending camping trip! LOVE it! And Mr. Daddy, that ain't even fair to bribe after all this time! lol

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

BLLLLLLAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAACHHHHCCCHHHHAAAAA.....

Wow. That is all I can say and I just PRAY that your parents STOPPED When they were suppost to!!! ;)

Cheralee said...

LMAO Nice! I wonder if they'll make you pay for the damage now! Oh and I hear you on that hair thing... as you'll see evidenced by my blog today, lol.

He & Me + 3 said...

Look at all of your linky love. HOw cool!
That is too funny. That would only happen to you my friend:)
I can't believe you kept that quiet for so long. Wow you two are good. I can see why you miss her:)

Amy @ Living Locurto said...

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time!! LOL! For one... I had that acid washed jacket and big hair, so that was pretty darn funny.

Second, you were just soooo bad. I had to laugh!! Oh my goodness. I still can't believe your sister never busted you!

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

I can't believe you finally admitted the truth! Even more so, I can't believe that your sister kept quiet about this for so long. WOW!
That was a great story!

Killlashandra said...

I can't believe your sister went along with it for that long. That would be the ultimate black mail material it's true though. Glad you didn't break your leg though. ;)

Dyann said...

That's a very fine example of what we would call a campfire story: a retelling of something around the campfire when everyone's relaxed and you're too old to get in trouble. Well, really in trouble. Good one.

City girl turned Country Girl said...

OMGosh Rach!!! This may just be the best one yet!! Thank you for the visuals by the way! I can totally envision you dangling there LOL!!! Hope your not grounded!! Or worse yet....CAMPING!!!!

Heather said...

hilarious. Thanks for sharing, I love True Story Tuesday...just found this. Great idea!
-Heather @ www.savingmoneylivinglife.com