Monday, March 22, 2010

True Story Tuesday - Composition, Aperture, and Exposure

Hey y'all!  Glad to see everyone back for another round of True Story Tuesdays – where the stories are outrageous, miraculous, hilarious, amazing, and downright true!  If you have one of those family legends that fits the bill, we’d love to have you play along and send some linky love your way!

(Really sorry, but I’m pressed for time in trying to fix all of thinks that just go back to people’s main blogs… please click on your actual post title, then copy and paste the www address to that exact post, rather than just your blog name, k?  Otherwise we’ll get lost trying to find your tale… and every TST deserves some comments, right?!?! :)

So grab the code from below the True Story Tuesday button on the right sidebar, throw it into your post and link back up for some comment love!

This week brought to you by a chick who would really rather not have to share her own embarrassing secrets in order to tell the funny stuff.  But since I’m a glutton for punishment (or at least public humiliation), here goes:

COMPOSITION, APERTURE, AND EXPOSURE!

 

Embarrassing stuff out of the way first:  I did a couple of pageants in my teen years.  I could tell you that I did it for the experience, the confidence-building, the lessons in charm… but I did it for the money.  Yep folks, I was all about putting myself through college.  (Don’t laugh, it actually worked in a roundabout way).

So the first order of business was to go get some of these:

glamour_shots 

Anybody else remember those?  The ones that make 14-year olds look like 21-year olds, and 65-year olds look like… well… like some really mature kids trying on makeup for the first time.

(Sorry… there’s only a few times in your life that woman should be photographed with bare shoulders.  A prom, a wedding, or the beach.  And for all of our sakes, keep the ones with feather boas off the living room wall please :)

Back to business, I had some pictures that needed to be taken.  And trust me, I tried to dig the evidence up for y’all to make fun of – but blessed relief unfortunately they are in a steamer truck underneath my coin collection.

(Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha)

Just picture me with a massive hairdo because the first thing any of those pseudo makeover artists wanted to do was rat the heck out of my long hair.  It took me weeks to get my curls back.

Anyway, we show up at the front counter of the Glamour Shots at the mall.

comp_store

See, the storefront faces the inside of the mall and this particular locale was a VERY BUSY mall.

We get all signed up (a waiver in case my hair goes up in flames after 2 cans of Aquanet, or my eyelashes fall off from the weight of the mascara), and the young guy behind the counter starts picking out some outfits for the shoot.

He grabs a black leather jacket (yeah right… that’ll go over well for a Miss Teen pageant), some shiny gold taffeta hideousness, and the preresiquite feather boa (that my mother promptly gave back to him).

He points out the makeup chair, and leads me to the front of the store where the changing rooms are.

He briskly pulls aside a curtain and stands there explaining which outfit to put on first.

And WHY DOES THIS STUFF KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!?!

(You doubt it?  Go here)

As he stands there talking, a poor teenaged girl is standing there with nothing but undies on… looking shocked and trying desperately to hide the sudden exposure with a self-hug.

The.guy.prattles.on!

He is absolutely clueless to the scene behind him, though several shoppers have noticed and staring in shock at the mortified girl.

I finally find my voice and kind of “ummm… uhhh… uhhhh… you…. ummm…” and gesture wildly at the dressing room.

He continues his rote monologue about the clothes as he starts to turn and suddenly falls silent.

Oh friends… if there were ever a time to win $100,000 for the funniest video… it was when those two locked eyes and you could feel the heat on his face and hear every single word that girl mentally screamed at him with her expression.

Seriously… why does this keep happening to me?!?!

~

This remind you of another crazy story that is just begging to be written?  Or one that you already have in your blog?  Easy peasy – grab the code, link your goodies up, and we’ll be around with some comment love!

34 comments:

Rachel said...

Dear - just fair warning: if you dig those pictures up, I will bend all your elk calls so you sound like Donald Duck when you go out hunting with the guys. Just sayin...

GunDiva said...

Good warning, Rach.

Poor girl.

Wonder what ever happened to GlamourShots?

Mr. Daddy said...

DEAR!!! some would say that I already sound like Donald Duck when I attempt to bugle the big one in....LOL, Just saying....

Now where did I see those photo's last???????

HHHhhhhhhhMMMMMmmmmmmmmm..........

Allenspark Lodge said...

Mr. Daddy-
I probably have a call I could loan you here at the lodge. Just saying...
Bill

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

That is absolutely mortifying!!!
I do have to admit, I am curious about those pictures...I'm just sayin'.

Sierra said...

Noooooo! Oh, I am blushing and cringing for you. I wonder how long that guy lasted?

Life with Kaishon said...

: ) I always wanted to get some done. My Mom would never let me. Darn it!

Molly said...

Rachel HI
Nice to meet you. I'm so happy you stopped by my blog.
My daughter, who is coming down for a visit next week from central California, is also deaf.
We have so much in common with deafness and belching LOL. (Not inter-connected.)
Just sayin'.

Brandi said...

Mr. Daddy, I will pay money to see those pics. HAHAHAHA! :D

Rachel said...

BRANDIIIIIII!

Ok, I'm sorry I bugged you about voting for Julie in the last Battle of the Blogs.

Sorry I teased you about your husband's vacuum.

Sorry I...
Oh wait... must go hide the pictures again :)

Stacy said...

Oh you poor girl...that would have been so embarrassing! I can't believe they have the changing rooms facing the mall though, geesh!

I had a glamour shot type of thing, too. Brian bought it for me when we were first dating...I imagine so he would have a picture of me?? It was fun, and yes they teased the heck out of my hair too. Why??? They must love big hair.

Michelle Pixie said...

Mr. Daddy, I will pitch in and buy you a new call...find those pix!! ;-)

Rach, at least you weren't the one standing in your skivvies behind the curtain! I remember how those were all the rage and I felt all deprived that I never got one but now I am feeling like I didn't miss out on a single thing! Hehehehehe!!

wife.mom.nurse said...

oh my goodness! mortifying!!!

Oh, please, please dig those pictures out! ...please :)

{Kimber} said...

Dear,
PLEASE DIG THE PICTURES OUT!!!
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!
:)

Margaret said...

LMAO that is too funny. I wish it would have been caught on camera!

Kameron said...

I'll make you a deal. If you post yours I'll go dig up mine and post them too! Ha! We should make it a Linky where everyone posts their Glamour shots! You know we all had those things done! I am so looking for them when I get home!!!

Shana said...

Oh I would have died. I had some made too...lol. What is it with the teasing of the hair though?!?!

Pam said...

Dear...we sure would like to see the photo's! lol

Kmama said...

Hilarious!

I'm with Brandi, I would pay money to see the photos!!

Emily said...

Wow. I actually don't know anyone who went to Glamour Shots. ;)
I don't know why it happens to you but it's awesome entertainment value! ;)

Foursons said...

And this is EXACTLY why I never went to Glamour Shots! Not that I knew about blogs way back when, but even I saw the ugliness in those photos when they were popular.

That poor girl, I'm sure if we can find her she could write up a great TST of her own!

And Mr. Daddy- yes, please, and thank you. Pictures NOW! (Sorry Rach- I MUST see them or I just might die an unhappy woman and we wouldn't want that to happen now would we?)

Gretchen said...

Ha ha, that's funny and I think it's unanimous, must see pictures! Great site. Nice to see a fellow Washington blogger! :)

Muthering Heights said...

Oh my goodness...I would have just died if I were there!!!!!!!!!!!!

robin said...

LOL! That does sound funny...of course, because it didn't happen to me!

I remember those Glamour Shots places at malls! I had forgotten!!! I know several people who had makeovers there too! (One pic still hangs on my MILs wall of a couple relatives!) And yes, they all have big hair and lots of make-up! That was probably a standard thing they had to do.....I'd love to see yours!

K- floortime lite mama said...

OMG sooooo funny
Do u watch "how I met your mother?"
Finding the pictures is like Robin's past as a rock star with her top single " we are going to the mall" video being found

Shana said...

Thanks for the comment on my photo and don't worry sometimes he runs from the camera. Well, a lot of times actually lol. I would dig them up if I can find them. I know I had them done twice. go figure. I think I only have one shot left from both shoots.
Glad you like the baked spaghetti recipe too. it is so good. Like I said it isn't exactly health food but man it is delicious.

Jana said...

ohmygosh I just peed a little. ugh.

So I have these pictures you speak of, but I dont share them with anyone....
I would have beat the guy to.death.

Hillary @ The Other Mama said...

A glamour shot without a feather boa was... well... just a shot. You need those pics. :)

brian said...

Mr. D....If you want us guys to respect you, you'll find those photos and post 'em :)

City girl turned Country Girl said...

LOL I don't know how you do it!! You must have a magnet for unexpecting people LOL!! OHHH come on dig up the pictures!! I'll share mine if you share yours!!

HeatherOz said...

M.O.R.T.I.F.Y.I.N.G!
I would die! Glamour Shots was more than I could handle all by itself!

renee said...

i would have died. i literally would have died!!!!!

He & Me + 3 said...

I went there once but wore my own clothes. LOL Yeah this girl was not undressing in a place like that and now I am glad I went with my instincts. :) They serve me well sometimes:)
Yikes I would have passed out dead.

Dyann said...

I remember that!

And I just might have a picture somewhere. Let...me...see...