True Story Tuesday - Composition, Aperture, and Exposure

Hey y'all!  Glad to see everyone back for another round of True Story Tuesdays – where the stories are outrageous, miraculous, hilarious, amazing, and downright true!  If you have one of those family legends that fits the bill, we’d love to have you play along and send some linky love your way!

(Really sorry, but I’m pressed for time in trying to fix all of thinks that just go back to people’s main blogs… please click on your actual post title, then copy and paste the www address to that exact post, rather than just your blog name, k?  Otherwise we’ll get lost trying to find your tale… and every TST deserves some comments, right?!?! :)

So grab the code from below the True Story Tuesday button on the right sidebar, throw it into your post and link back up for some comment love!

This week brought to you by a chick who would really rather not have to share her own embarrassing secrets in order to tell the funny stuff.  But since I’m a glutton for punishment (or at least public humiliation), here goes:

COMPOSITION, APERTURE, AND EXPOSURE!

 

Embarrassing stuff out of the way first:  I did a couple of pageants in my teen years.  I could tell you that I did it for the experience, the confidence-building, the lessons in charm… but I did it for the money.  Yep folks, I was all about putting myself through college.  (Don’t laugh, it actually worked in a roundabout way).

So the first order of business was to go get some of these:

 

Anybody else remember those?  The ones that make 14-year olds look like 21-year olds, and 65-year olds look like… well… like some really mature kids trying on makeup for the first time.

(Sorry… there’s only a few times in your life that woman should be photographed with bare shoulders.  A prom, a wedding, or the beach.  And for all of our sakes, keep the ones with feather boas off the living room wall please :)

Back to business, I had some pictures that needed to be taken.  And trust me, I tried to dig the evidence up for y’all to make fun of – but blessed relief unfortunately they are in a steamer truck underneath my coin collection.

(Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha)

Just picture me with a massive hairdo because the first thing any of those pseudo makeover artists wanted to do was rat the heck out of my long hair.  It took me weeks to get my curls back.

Anyway, we show up at the front counter of the Glamour Shots at the mall.

See, the storefront faces the inside of the mall and this particular locale was a VERY BUSY mall.

We get all signed up (a waiver in case my hair goes up in flames after 2 cans of Aquanet, or my eyelashes fall off from the weight of the mascara), and the young guy behind the counter starts picking out some outfits for the shoot.

He grabs a black leather jacket (yeah right… that’ll go over well for a Miss Teen pageant), some shiny gold taffeta hideousness, and the preresiquite feather boa (that my mother promptly gave back to him).

He points out the makeup chair, and leads me to the front of the store where the changing rooms are.

He briskly pulls aside a curtain and stands there explaining which outfit to put on first.

And WHY DOES THIS STUFF KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!?!

(You doubt it?  Go here)

As he stands there talking, a poor teenaged girl is standing there with nothing but undies on… looking shocked and trying desperately to hide the sudden exposure with a self-hug.

The.guy.prattles.on!

He is absolutely clueless to the scene behind him, though several shoppers have noticed and staring in shock at the mortified girl.

I finally find my voice and kind of “ummm… uhhh… uhhhh… you…. ummm…” and gesture wildly at the dressing room.

He continues his rote monologue about the clothes as he starts to turn and suddenly falls silent.

Oh friends… if there were ever a time to win $100,000 for the funniest video… it was when those two locked eyes and you could feel the heat on his face and hear every single word that girl mentally screamed at him with her expression.

Seriously… why does this keep happening to me?!?!

~

This remind you of another crazy story that is just begging to be written?  Or one that you already have in your blog?  Easy peasy – grab the code, link your goodies up, and we’ll be around with some comment love!