Saturday, April 03, 2010

The part where I say, "I'm not even kidding"

It’s been a week of random weirdness.

I apologize for being a bad commenter lately – I’ve been trying to keep up, but I’ve obviously been getting my butt kicked on multiple fronts lately.

We’ve had two funerals this week.

The first was completely unorthodox – a Christmas celebration for a fun-loving woman whose favorite day of the year was Christmas Eve.  There were as many laughs as tears – I hope I am remembered like that.

The second funeral… while I’m sure the tribute was lovely, it was nearly impossible to understand a word being said because of some parents that couldn’t handle their wild child.

Surprisingly, it was not our Itty Bit!

As Mr. Daddy and I watched in astonishment, a 3-year old girl hit her parents in the face repeatedly – with absolutely no response or consequence.  They spent the entire service dodging her blows and trying to shush her yells in vain.

google brat 

While I can appreciate a toddler having a bad day (and am not as quick to judge the mother of the wailing child in Target), I was blown away by the apparent normalcy of this child hitting her parents.

In fact, she landed a such a blow to the back of her mother’s head, that her mother literally fell forward in her seat.  Surely now she’d get at least a talking-to, right?


Instead, she ran through the pews, jumped on them, crawled over them, flipped over them, redistributed tissue boxes, and shrieked when she was shushed.


I’m not even kidding.


We left the service thankful that Itty Bit was happily spending time with Ah-Ma, Ju, Little Jo, and May-May.

Well, he was happily playing until 10 minutes before our arrival where he had an “incident” with a runaway treadmill.  You can actually see the treads on his face.  I’m not even kidding.




Forgive the weird eyebrows.  He had his face painted by an honest-to-goodness Special Forces dude today.


And within 30 seconds of touching the paint (see his chin) was freaking out and wanting it washed off.

He is truly my child.

I’m not even kidding.


After letting the kids jump on my parents’ bed (thanks Mom), we nearly peed ourselves to realize Itty Bit had pulled a Darth Vader with a sleep apnea machine…  I’m not even kidding.



Out of nowhere, he now has this Ray Charles impersonation DOWN PAT.  I have no clue where he picked it up.


(Trust me, he’s got the whole head roll thing going on too.  He’s absolutely serious about it).

I’m not even kidding.


Other random weirdness…

We grabbed Taco Bell for a quick lunch today.  Mr. Daddy asks the girl at the window for some mild sauce.

mild sauce

There were TWENTY-TWO packets of sauce in there.

For a quesadilla and a taco.

I’m not even kidding.


The horses got out this week.

I think it was this guy:


Who most likely got his head stuck in the gate, then managed to LIFT IT OUT OF THE HINGES.

UGH!  I’m not even kidding you.


And the final weirdness this week:

At an intersection, we encountered a man standing with a sign:


I’m not even kidding.


Shana Putnam said...

Umm, yeah, so you definitely had a week. I had so many things I wanted to say about each thing and totally went blank. I have had a month. Is that a good enough excuse to not remember everything? Ouch for real on the tread face though. I also understand the pain of horses being too big for their britches and pulling Houdini acts. We actually had an escapee today. it was Star and she is so old she doesn't run away she just thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the

Unknown said...

Wow, you have had one heck of a week!
Hope you are able to enjoy your Easter day with Mr Daddy and Itty Bit!
Happy Easter day to you all!

Sylvia Plathypus said...

Holy moly! That's definitely a CRAZY time to have in the space of one week...

I can't believe that business at the second funeral. Amazing that nobody asked them to leave so that people could pay their respects...

Allenspark Lodge said...

I musta missed it... which part weren't you kidding about?

Foursons said...

Wow, if those parents can't handle their 3 year old- at a funeral no less- than I hate to see what they are in store for when she is 5, 8, 12, 14.... Holy cow.

Poor Itty Bit- those treadmill abrasions look painful! I can only imagine the screaming which I'm sure you heard 2 blocks away WITHOUT your hearing aids. Poor little guy.

I think some video of little Ray Charles is in order please and thank you.

And if you ever have a rush on hot sauce in your house you're all set! Hahahaha

Katie said...

Lol, now that is a very random week! 22 packets? Wow! "I'd like a taco with my sauce, please."

Emily said...

That is really random. And that's horrible about that second funeral. I try to be forgiving of stuff like that too but seriously! That's taking it too far.

GunDiva said...


Maybe next week you can breathe.

And continue how to plot your route to Colorado.

Heather said...

Well, now, how is this week gonna top that???? Wow. As a mom now, I am apalled at how many kids and their awful behaviors go unpunished. I find myself reprimanding kids at Hands On all the time! "The sign says don't hang on the crane. See?? I know your mom lets you do it, but your mom's not watching you right now... and I'm trying to teach my son the rules!!" OY.

Think my favorite was the 22 packs of sauce. Crazy!!! That girl must've had some big hands to get a handful that big!!!

Dana-from chaos to Grace said...

I think we need an "I'm not even kidding" meme.....Hmmm....maybe I'll start that one. ;)

OH yes, I have to write mine out and send it to you and Pam on Facebook. HAAAAAA I can't even BLOG it's so bad! LOL!!

Kmama said...

Whoa. That is a crazy week!!

I hope you have some more normalcy next week!

He & Me + 3 said...

I seriously hope you were kidding about that child. Oh my that was terrible.
Love the sign. My kids have tried to tackle the treadmill too. Oh the pain.
Hope this week is less weird:)

Liz {Learning To Juggle} said...

Wow...that was a wonderfully random week.

Sadly I have friends who bring their toddlers to funerals and let them behave in a similar manner. I am all about taking your kids with you everywhere you can, but I think funerals are not the place for a young child, not for the child's sake, but out of respect for the family and the greiving.

brian said...

OK...You're kidding, right?

Big Mama Cass said...

Um, ahem, that is MY GOLDFISH that is sick ok? What would YOU do?


Sorry you had such a rough week. Sounds like a really crazy time :(

PennsylvaniaBelle said...

Oh Lord! Not to sound old fashioned, but in my opinion i think that is whats wrong with kids today. I was always just a little bit scared of my parents,I still acted up and pushed it sometimes..but I knew my limits. That little boy is super cute!

Aunt Crazy said...

Sounds like y'all need a vacation...I'm in Texas and it's nice here...just sayin

Unknown said...

What's wrong with 22 packets of hot sauce? That's not even enough for the quessadilla in my world! Maybe that explains a few things... But seriously, sounds like you really did have a week! Hope this one is better. And did I see GunDiva mention a trip to CO? Please?

Floortime Lite Mama said...

how terribly fun and interesting you are
your kiddo is sooo cute
I loved the idea of the Christmas funeral

Shannon said...

Rachel! This was so fun to read! I was on a plane with a child like that once...from China to San Francisco! He literally was trying to pull my shoes off from under his mom's seat and she did nothing...crazy! Hey, your bracelets are here! Will you email me with your address?

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

You never fail to crack me up. And, I'm not even kidding.

That last one... the sign... You HAVE to be kidding me!!!

Mrs. NB

Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too said...

This was a fun post!
Well...despite the funerals you had to attend. My kids would never ever get away with that kind of behavior.
Poor Itty Bit. Dylan had a treadmill incident before, involving his finger. It scraped off a huge chunk of skin on the side of his finger-ewww! I love the piano playing picture!
I can't believe you saw somebody holding that sign!

HeatherOz said...

Ok, was the guy playing an April Fools joke on you with that sign?
I love that Taco Bell is not stingy with their sauce. Our McDonald's has rules with item/sauce ratios! said...

oh girl! aside from the funerals, the tread mark, and the horse's head...this is frickin' hilarious!

Your boy had me rollin', but that sign ROCKs!

(wow, a Christmas memorial service...sounds like an amazing woman :)

Kameron said...

I have been having a hard time keeping up with blogging too, but haven't had quite as iuneresting a week as you have had! My year old kid hitting me is one thing, but at 3 you are going to be taken outside and have your bum smacked for that!! Geeze!

City girl turned Country Girl said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!! You have got to be kidding me!!! You are so much more restrained than I....Simply that is the rudest thing to do in a situation like that! What about the grieving family?! I would have lost it if it was me!! They are obviously in need of some severe parenting lessons!!

So yeah loving the track marks...NOT! Poor guy!

Horses this week are on my BAD list *giggles*!!

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