Monday, May 10, 2010

I'm Not Even Kidding - The Fear of God

So a few of you may have been wondering about that picture in the last post:


Okay… so only one person asked in writing here, but a few family members couldn’t figure it out.

Would it help to see the picture just before?  And to realize that Itty Bit was heading skyward  in a complete backwards flip?

(Ahhh yes Mommies – feel free to scream)


And it wasn’t enough to shave fourteen years off my life by doing it ONCE.

Oh no, those boys wanted to see what it was like to try the other direction too!


There are more pictures, but this is all my poor heart can handle in one post.

The kid was so wired that the only decent shot was achieved by the mamarazzi running backwards in front of him and him finally tripping for this:

IMG_9944Itty Bit 

I love you kid, but you make me work really hard for these.


I have no idea why Itty Bit seems to think everyone exists to swing him around:





Now that I’ve overloaded you with pictures, I’ll just sit here and reminisce about the fact that I used to lift up that “kid” in the above picture.  I mean the big one.  Wavy has gotten a wee bit bigger since I swung him around – gosh I feel old.

Especially considering that this is Wavy’s little brother:


Who I can still pick up, thank you very much :P


In other “I’m Not Even Kidding” news, we went to church.

I mean, not that our attendance is particularly newsworthy, except that the usual Sunday School teacher wasn’t there, so Itty Bit sat with us in the service.

OY.  I’d forgotten what an adventure that could be.  My darling, shy-around-people boy took a few steps away from the end of the row and started to run off when Mr. Daddy did that clenched teeth stage whisper, “you get back here right now!”

And of course our little guy stopped dead in his tracks and hollered (in a church full of worshippers mind you),



More “I’m Not Even Kidding” at church:

The grandmother of a set of teeny tiny twin baby girls was enjoying the music as another family member set next to her holding one of the newborns.

In a moment of worship, Grandma stood up, got a little too excited about clapping, and swung her arm wide to roundly clock the poor infant upside the head.

So shocked that she’d full-on backhanded the infant that Grandma dramatically gasped and fell forward – losing her balance and crashing into the seats in front of her.  I didn’t know who to feel worse for!


And since I’m going on Week Three of not having a voice, I’m blaming my poor wardrobe choices on this illness that just won’t quit.  Of course I wore two different shoes to the office.  That was fully intentional.


As if my previous “I’m Not Even Kidding” kitchen stories weren’t enough… I’m proof that you should never attempt to cook while high on Nyquil.

That pot roast slid right into the crockpot.  Complete with the plastic absorbent thingie stuck to the bottom.

Yeah.  Guess when I caught that???

(No three-year olds ate any plastic, thankyouverymuch.  I was still sick, remember?  He had Cheetos for dinner).


Stay tuned for tomorrow’s recap of my ultimate “I’m Not Even Kidding” moment – since Mr. Daddy has soundly threatened me with the retelling.  *sigh*

(Revenge is sweet Baby, revenge is sweet)


Unknown said...

OH I like you would have heart failure over the back flip thing. My boys loved doing that and my heart aged 70 years each time they did. HA HA HA @ the church thing.. I am sorry I would have fell out in the floor and not from being overcome with the spirit lol..

Unknown said...

Why scream? Those flips look AWESOME! Hmm...maybe that explains a few things with my kids? And dontcha just love the exclamations at inopportune times? Lovely, I tell you.

Brandi said...

OMW! HAHAHA! The picture is fantastic... totally looks like Mr. Daddy just gave Itty a toss.

I am cracking up over the church stories. We had our own 'moment' this past weekend.

Bubba... well, I think everyone knows he has a mouth on him. When they go upstairs to large-group, his 3/4th grade class is joined by K-5th. There's a stage, they play music and sing and dance and get the wiggles out and then they get a sermon in terms they can comprehend, etc.

Okay, well, Bubba has ALWAYS wanted to get called up on stage. He finally gets called up there and he's asked to tell about something he has no patience for... and the child says into the microphone 'I have no patience for completing my schoolwork before I am allowed to play video games. IT SUCKS.' Proud parental moment, I tell ya.

Beth Zimmerman said...


It may have scared Mama half to death but that is one HAPPY little boy!

I think most of us who go to church with any regularity have funny stories to tell but I am still the only mom I know who was asked (by the pastor who paused his sermon) to remove my crying infant from the service. LOL ... I was a new mom, it was Mother's Day, and he was whimpering not wailing!

Poor grandma but that was funny!

Looking forward to tomorrow's tales!

Danielle said...

Oh I would have died. Hubbs is always telling me to calm down bc I freak out when they rough play, but Lo loves it!

Cute pix.

He & Me + 3 said...

That church story compares to the "OUch you're hurting my Wenis" as I was carrying him out. Our two are a pair.
Those pictures gave me a double heart attack. Wow. You have an acrobat on your hands.
So cute.

Kelly said...

That is so funny - I can't wait until tomorro and i can read what Mr. Daddy doesn't want you to post!

LOL - lighten up Mr. Daddy!

Kmama said...

Oh my goodness. Quite the craziness going on. Can't wait for Mr. Daddy's post tomorrow.

Buckeroomama said...

I love your I'm Not Even Kidding stories!! Too funny!

And that upside down thingy? My kids love it, too. We do the backwards flip, but with me holding on to their wrist instead of their feet (and I don't let go)! I don't think I have the guts to do it the other way around! :)

Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too said...

Why must boys give you heart failure? I've had more than my fair share of those moments!
I loved your church stories! How did you not laugh?!?

HeatherOz said...

OH, that is all too funny! I don't know how you survived everyone swingin' Itty Bit around!Scary!
Your church sounds very entertaining! I would have just sat and stared at the twins and remember when I had my own sweet babiesx2.

Shana Putnam said...

Ok so I would die if Chris did Blaze that way while i could see Looks like they were having a blast though. I am so sorry you are not feeling well. I do hope you get better quickly and i am praying for you. I will email you back I have just been busy and resting too.

Dyann said...

Thank you Tiffany for making me not the only one who thinks that those pictures look absolutely normal. Don't all dads throw their kids around like that? I've learned to chill out about it, but it still freaks out Grandma. The boys love it!

Rachel, I love your pictures and church moments. I can't remember any loud outbursts from my munchkins, but just a couple of months ago my smallest did turn off the lights. Ugh.

Tabatha said...

I loved this... thanks for sharing... and ya know my hubby thinks it is HIS JOB to swing every kids that comes around us.. drives me crazy lol

Michelle said...

Ah, cheetos for dinner. I've fed my kid cheetos for dinner before and I didn't have the excuse of being sick and ruining a meal. I just didn't see any reason NOT to feed him cheetos! :)

I hope you feel better soon.

robin said...

Oh, I just loved those pics! It must be nice to be that age!! I try not to start anything like that because once you start, they don't want to stop (and my arms get SO tired, lol!)

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