Monday, May 17, 2010

True Story Tuesday - The Karate Kid

You’d think I could go one weekend without someone reminding me of a yet-unpublished True Story Tuesday?!?  Well, wonder no longer, TST is here (just because I know you were wondering, right?)!
 

 

Y’all know the drill – grab the code from under the True Story Tuesday button on the right sidebar, paste it into your post somewhere -  come back and link up and we’ll be around for some comment love!

Rules are easy – and you’ve probably already gotten a post written about some family legend that qualifies as amazing/miraculous/hilarious/outrageous and (mostly) true!

This week brought to you by the extremely old chick who was just outed by her little sister’s birthday card envelope.  Read on if you dare.

~

The Karate Kid

Remember the little blurb about how TST tales are often those stories that get retold at every family gathering?

As sweet as my sister is, she has quite a mischievous streak.

(Don’t believe me?  This was taken at a formal tea at CHURCH – even May-May was aghast!)

IMG_3278

Anyhoo… I turned a year older last week.  No biggie right?

Except that my lovely and creative sibling decided to turn my birthday card envelope into a collection of digs.

I know you believe me this time.  But here’s a peek:

card

Let me explain:

Old Geezer:  pretty self-explanatory

Stocky-Legs: a snide reference to my teen angst over my muscular quads in comparison to my skinny ankles

Dancin Queen:  Hey, a nice nickname

She-She:  My actual nickname according to her daughters – I love it.

Pee-Pee:  “She-She” means “pee-pee” in Japanese and Hawaiian – I do not love that.

Poopbutt:  Only a sibling knows that this can often be a term of endearment

Rache & Sista:  More true nicknames

Mother of a Little Angel Who Says You Have  a BIG …? :   This totally needs its own post, and it’s hilariously not what you’d expect.  Thanks for mentioning that on my birthday card, Poopbutt.

And the TST-worthy one:

KARATE EXPERT - defending helpless little sisters and scared cousins from creepy old men.  HYAH!

~

It was a dark and stormy night blissfully sunny day.  We were at a campground for a day and a cousin had come to visit.  I was the oldest at a rockin’ 12 years old.  Cousin Banana (yes, we honestly called her that) was a year younger, and Ju brought up the rear at 8 years old.

We had just gotten my mother’s rare approval to walk a quick loop of a tourist trail by ourselves.  (Saying that my mother was a wee bit protective would be like suggesting my husband is a wee bit ornery…)

So off we went on our little 15 minute “hike” within a stone’s throw of our campsite.  We dutifully stopped at each little sign that proclaimed the wonders of the vegetation and spelled each mushroom variety out in painful Latin.

At about the third little sign, all three of us suddenly startled.  The bushes in front of us moved as we stood frozen in fear.

(And right here is where the story turns from just plain scary, to full out creepy.)

An older man rose from the middle of the bushes, smiled and said in a singsong voice:

hello, hello, hello…

It freaked us the heck out.

And being such well-mannered girls, we stammered out “hello?” and hurried along the path in a tight little gaggle.

I hadn’t quite understood what the girls were whispering about when suddenly on the right of the trail, the bushes ahead moved in perfect deja vu.

One again, the man popped up and smiled eerily at us.

hello, hello, hello…

Scared in earnest, we hugged the left side of the trail and practically ran from him.

The girls were nearly hysterical and all I could finally make out, is that the sound they’d been whispering about was the man zipping and unzipping his pants as he watched us.

Truly freaked by this point, we continued the pace and UNBELIEVABLY…

the man popped up in front of us yet again with the exact same routine.

hello, hello, hello… zip, unzip, zip, unzip

and we lost it.

We ran down the trail as fast as our kiddie legs could take us.

We ran down the trail until… oh wait.  Where is that trail?

We were so thoroughly panicked, that we’d managed to somehow take a wrong turn and our “trail” slowly disappeared into heavy underbrush.  We ran on, through tangles of nettles and scratches of blackberry bushes.

And when we finally had to admit that we were far, far from the tourist loop, we were all in hysterics.  But I was the oldest, so I needed to somehow figure a way to keep us safe.

I had nothing.  All my 12-year old mind could think of was pure bravado.  We were hopelessly lost, with some psycho stalker, and we had no way to defend ourselves.

The girls were crying and I was two seconds away from joining them.  My heart was hammering in my throat and I did the only thing that came to mind.

I forced my shaky voice to a yell and hollered the scariest thing I could think of.

Picture a skinny 12-year old:

I KNOW KARATE!  I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!

Except...

I didn't know karate.

And I was scared out of my mind.

Banana and Ju could barely talk around crying - and no one was coming up with any better ideas.

So I pretended to know what I was doing.  I boldly continued along the non-path and the girls followed.  Wracking my brain for anything that would calm us all down, I weakly started to sing.

Yes, Jesus Loves Me.

Yes, Jesus Loves Me.

Yes, Jesus Loves Me.  The Bible tells me so.

The girls quietly joined in and as we trudged through the underbrush, it became our little anthem of courage.

We walked what seemed like hours.  There was absolutely nothing familiar and we alternated between meadows and treed areas.  We looked around constantly - waiting for Mr. Zipper to pop up from behind every brush.

Finally the trees cleared again and across the meadow we saw the first sign of civilization.

We broke into a run, the wind drying our tear-stained faces.

We ran to a huge building with a metal roof and our footsteps echoed on the concrete.

Hello?  HELLO??!?!

Long tables were arranged in rows, and what must have been a cook finally stepped out from a doorway.

Would you believe we had managed to stumble across a Christian camp in the middle of nowhere?  She pointed us to public camp area and we begrudgingly left her company.

As campers and tents came into view, we were surprised by how close we were.  It was a huge shock to realize that we had literally walked (or rather ran) around the entire lake in our panic.

 

You can imagine the jumble that spilled out of three terrified girls' mouths.  The park rangers were called, Mama Bear was sufficiently rattled.

To this day, my sister still cannot resist teasing me about my earnest claim to martial arts skill.

But we are both thankful for God's protection - that it never got past hello, hello, hello.

 

~

Seriously.  I creeped myself out writing this.  Got any amazing stories of being protected from dangerous situations?  Miraculous rescues?  Or something so outrageous it needs to be shared to be believed?

Join up and put the links to work for you! :)

~

25 comments:

Kimberly@PrettyPinkMomma said...

If I knew that this was pedophile Tuesday I totally would have gone that route! Seriously - how SCARY!!!! I think pretending that you were karate kid was the way to go I would have just pooped my pants, lol!!

City girl turned Country Girl said...

WHOA seriously that is so scary!! I am totally proud of your bold karate statement! I'm with KPPM except I'd of peed my pants!! Thank God your girls were okay! Sicko guy!

Holly Renee said...

Um... creepy! I know you would have pulled out those (nonexistent) karate skills if you really had to. Good for you!

2003beachbunch said...

I love the nicknames from your sister!
You are super brave with your karate skills!

Kmama said...

That is so scary. I'm glad it all stopped with "hello, hello, hello" too. What a freak!!

LOL at your karate skills.

Ruby Red Slippers said...

That really is so scary! Oh my!

Killlashandra said...

Yep that is pretty creepy and terrible too. I'm glad the rangers were called what a terrible way to ruin a family trip. I'm glad you were in a group though and not by yourself!

Beth said...

That is an awesome story Rachel! With a 12 year old Karate Expert invoking the name of Jesus I bet that guy ran for cover quick! :) So glad that all 3 of you were protected from harm!

Mr. Daddy can be ornery? Ha Ha!

Bree said...

Wow, what a neat link up! I will have to come back and share next week- great story I think :)- thanks! www.breebee.com, I am following you, I don't want to forget!

Stacy said...

Oh my word! That is seriously scary for little kids. Was the creepoid ever found? Ugh. Yuck.

Well...you probably watched the Karate Kid about 10 times just like me, so you KNEW how to do Karate, right?? Wax on, wax off... ;)

K- floortime lite mama said...

OM how very scary
But how lovely your faith and rallying together

Shana said...

Oh no. There are some freaky people in this world. I am so gald that it never got past that either. You go girl for being brave and protective. So what if you didn't actually know karate lol.

Shana said...

oh yeah, Blaze was close to an infant when you found my blog. He is going to be 3 in August. I swear I was pregnant like a week ago so I don't know how it happened so quickly. we don't have concrete either and only have grass and pasture and he is doing great. I couldn't post a pic of him on it yet! I am building suspense lol. Actually, the pics I took of him on it are crappy so I need to take some more;). I am glad you liked the fabrics. I fell in love with them and have my eye on some super cute dinos and strips. I am excited about this new project of mine too.

Pam D said...

I can't even find words, Rach. You were close... so close... to being a headline on CNN. I can almost see the hand of God coming down to cover you up as you started singing; yes, He really DOES love you, and He proved it. If I were your mom, I think I would have had nightmares for years after that. Have you ever gone back and done any research into crimes against children that were reported in that timeframe and general area? Did they ever find that creep? wow. That is quite a story.

Crystal @ Semi-Crunchy Mama said...

That's horrifyingly scary -- you were so lucky that it went no farther than "hello hello hello!" AS a mom, the image of you and the girls singing Jesus Love Me and trying so hard to be brave, had me almost in tears, and I want to burst into my son's room and scoop him up from his nap and just hold him. Until he's eighteen or so.

Was that man ever found? Scary.

I love the envelop with the nicknames! Gotta love the nicknames sisters come up with for each other!

HeatherOz said...

Holy cow! Your "I know karate" line must have scared him off! What a freak! So glad you girls made it back to camp safe!!

Eve said...

Oh my goodness sake... that is creepy!!
Thank goodness for God's protection and for lake paths that lead in a loop! :)

And thanks so much for linking me up!!

Foursons said...

That is probably one of the creepiest things I have ever heard. I'm glad you girls were together and not wandering off by yourselves. That could have turned into a nightmare for everyone involved.

I'm at a loss again today. I spent a considerable amount of time and money today at Old Navy. They pulled me in with their $10 swimsuits and kept me there with all of their sale and clearance items. I spent a FORTUNE but had a blast doing so.

Angie said...

C.R.E.E.P.Y. That is the kidn of stuff that scares me having three young nieces.

He & Me + 3 said...

OMGosh. Thankful for Gods protection that is for sure.

Muthering Heights said...

LOL, y'all sound crazy, but fun!

wife.mom.nurse said...

I'm seriously freaked out too!!!!!

That is one SCARY story.

Thank GOD for protecting you vulnerable girls from such an evil person!

Yep, seriously freaked out.

But I must say you were one brave little girl in such a bad situation.

At least I know I will be safe with you in Seattle ;)

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

I am beyond creeped out just by reading this! Thank God that nothing else happened!
It sounds like you and your sister have a great relationship!

The Empress said...

Love your TST. I'm on. See you soon.

Martial Arts School said...
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