Monday, August 16, 2010

Rule #47 for Deaf People

True story.

An email I sent my friends Friday morning:


Just to start your Friday off right:

Never make assumptions.

I had NO CLUE that I bought my husband a talking birthday card with a 20 second joke about hemorrhoids.

I kid you not.

He about wet himself opening it this morning.


And to make matters worse?

He looked at me blankly as the thing prattled on and on and on.

Then I watched the realization cross his face slowly… as it struck him as hilarious that I couldn’t possibly have known what the card was saying.


preph (Google)


Then horror of horrors, my parents cracked it open again while we were at dinner.

Imagine… a loud hemorrhoids narrative whilst enjoying a fine dining establishment…


That’s right folks – deaf people should never make assumptions.  Cuz they make a hemorrhoid out of you and me.


Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

I. Can't. Stop. Laughing.


BTW, I am laughing WITH you, not at you! ;0)

Mrs. NB

Kmama said...

Oh my goodness. PRICELESS!!!

Muthering Heights said...

LOL, oh NO! That sounds like something that would happen in a movie!!!!

I'm glad that you were able to find the humor in the situation though! :)

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...


I wish I could have seen your husband face!!

Foursons said...

Bwahahahaha. Classic. Now are you linking this tomorrow?

singedwingangel said...

Seriously.That was perfection. Oh I would have laughed so hard..I mean really hard.. Harder then I am laughing now.. with you of course. At least they all saw the humor in it though

Allenspark Lodge said...

I don't suppose we could get an audio clip somehow... LMTO (tush)

Amy said...

Oh no!!!!!!!! As embarrassing as that is SOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!

GunDiva said...

I love those darn cards and I'll never look at them the same now :) Thanks for the giggle.

Shana said...

I never thought about those cards and deaf people. Oh man, I bet that was hilarious. I would love to know what it said too!!

Anonymous said...

First of all.. really, Mr. D, it's NOT that shocking. You might have actually gotten some usable tips. So man up and give Rach a hug.
Next... OK, I HAVE to ask... Rach...what did you think it was talking about? Preparation H... hmmmm..... horn, horns...horny...oh, wait, NEVERMIND!!!!!!! hahaha... I think you might have created your OWN li'l happy place, if it weren't for the reality of what that darn "H" really meant.... lol!
"H"appy birthday, Mr. Daddy... may love and laughter ALWAYS be the best gifts that you receive~

Fire Wife Katie said...

Lol!! That's hilarious. So what the heck is a hemorrhoid joke doing on a birthday card anyway??

HeatherOz said...

Oh my gosh that is hilarious!
There is no better present than a good laugh!

Buckeroomama said...

That is SO hilarious!! I wish I could've been there and seen his expression. :)

K- floortime lite mama said...

Happy birthday to your marvelous busband

Killlashandra said...

I'd say his birthday is off to a great start! What an awesome accidental card selection. LOL Now if someone gets him the preparation H everyone will be laughing and telling stories about this one until next year.

Beth Zimmerman said...

Oh My Goodness, Rachel! That's the hardest I've laughed in DAYS! Thank you!

Still giggling!

Tiffany said...


Presley family said...


Brandi said...

Oh girl, you make me laugh. ;)

Heather said...


Didn't the front of the card that read, " A Birthday song for you about hemorrhoids" give it away??


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