Sunday, November 14, 2010

Equine Tales: Stupid Injury #318

Otherwise known as You Shoulda Known Better.


So y’all know I have this gorgeous arab-saddlebred, Kona, right?


(I am thoroughly convinced that she’s actually a National Show Horse, but have been unsuccessful in finding her history – just thought I’d throw that out there for all you riders who might know of a NSH horse with a weird scar)


Knowing fully that she she can play the arab card at any chosen moment, I usually try new things with care.

And since Mr. Daddy hasn’t yet allowed me to replace my treeless saddle (he calls it a deathtrap for some reason…?!?), I hopped onto my girl bareback just before sunset today.

I know I’m not the only chick who rides an arab in just a halter and leadrope, right?  Or else y’all aren’t admitting how many times you end up with some unplanned maneuvers?

So the girl decides to head toward the front pasture.  Except that it was a pain climbing onto her bareback and I wasn’t about to dismount to open the gate to let her in.

Seeing her eagerly approach the fence, then line herself perfectly with the latch made me reconsider.

You’re saying it already, aren’t you?  GET OFF THE HORSE RACH, GET OFF THE HORSE.


A sudden burst of illogical bravado and I carefully inched sideways and downward to unlatch that puppy while clinging to her back.  (Well, as Bill calls it, I made a fist with my butt cheek.  And that phrase makes me laugh out loud every time I see it in print).


I spoke nonstop to her in my calm and firm don’t you dare voice.

And all was well… she didn’t move an inch.


I gave the gate a shove.  And well, that gate is BIG.

Something like this:


And as I shoved, the gate budged a mere foot.


I saw Kona’s ears prick forward, and somehow I just knew.

My impatient little mare decided that she was going to push her way through.  Which would have been fine, except for a silly little habit of wanting to get through any tight space as quickly as possible, then turn around and look at it.


Yep, you called it.

She squeezed through in two seconds flat, then set another speed record as she spun around to look at the gate.

We have a name for that when we ask for it, it’s “aaaand REVERSE”.

Other people call it a spin.


Whatever the case, I didn’t ask for it.

But what ensued was similar to this particular “emergency dismount”:


Except I broke my fall by bouncing off the top of the gate with my ribcage.  Then somehow scraping my entire calf up on the rest of the way down.

I’ll spare you the pictures – let’s just say that the bruises to my leg are nowhere near the bruises to my ego.


Mr. Daddy: “Don’t try to open gates bareback”.


Yes dear.


Allenspark Lodge said...

I am sooo sorry. When my dorkfish of a mustang does that, I accuse him of "squirting through like a watermelon seed".

Get off the horse, Rach, BEFORE going through, not WHILE going through.


Unknown said...

OUCH just thinking about it hurt me.. I hope ya heal quickly and be thankful no one was nearby with a video camera.. Pictures or it never happened lol

Cheeseboy said...

Okay, now that is a hilarious story that I feel a little guilt about laughing at because 1. I am an awful horseman. and 2. It does actually sound pretty painful. Still an entertaining read, nonetheless.

Shana Putnam said...

Oh no. Bless your heart! yes, I was saying Rachel get off the horse! You live, you learn right?? I do hope you heal quickly though. I also just have to say again how pretty Kona is ;)

GunDiva said...

I'm pretty sure Kona and Estes are related on some plane. Estes about broke my leg going through a fence one day - I still haven't written about it and it was YEARS ago - the stirrup still has the dent in it from the gate.

So, it sounds like you need a little practice with that making a fist with your butt thing. Ranger will be happy to help you out with that.

City girl turned Country Girl said...

So sorry I haven't been able to keep up on my reading lately! But I am glad I caught this post!! GIRL....You best be careful!! Oh I know how *not* fun those emergency dismounts can feel! Hope you are not hurting to bad!!

Mrs. Mom said...

Aw Dayum. Bet that smarts.

Don't cough for a few days ifn you can help it! ;)

And I agree with Mr Daddy on this one- no opening gates while mounted until you two (you and Kona that is) work out a WHOA, DAMMIT, AND DON'T FREAKING MOVE cue!

Kmama said...

Kona is trying to kill you. I'm sure of it.

Thank goodness you were okay and the bruises to your ego are the worst part. I'm cringing just thinking about your ribs on that gate!

Unknown said...

Bahaha I'm sorry but that is funny. I love the fact that you can so see it coming, but does that deter you? Of course not. Then what would you blog about?

Saimi said...

I'm laughing here and I'm sorry...But dang it, I would have done the same thing! It's hard to mount bareback and once you're on, you're on..

Just glad you didn't get seriously hurt!

Foursons said...

And this is why I don't have a horse. Well, not really. But seriously, can you imagine my ER bill if I did?

Allenspark Lodge said...

Rachel, I can't believe you would even consider another treeless saddle! I remembered the story but forgot that it was YOU in that story. Enough scolding; I would be right there with you trying to move that gate bareback, but remember, I'm the one with the 'bulldozer' for a horse. If I can't get the gate open, she just puts her head to it and shoves until it gives way, while Ranger does the 'watermelon-seed-squirt' thing.

I am so sorry for the dings and can only tell you that as you get older you will get wiser because it hurts more to hit the ground...and whatever is in the way to the ground. Take care of her Mr. Daddy.

PS - Kona is a beautiful horse. I just read about the American Saddlebred and can totally see the headset and ears in her!

Floortime Lite Mama said...

Stressful day in the office
Finally finding the time to eat lunch at 3.15 and reading your blog
You and Mr Daddy are the smile in the middle of my day

renee said...

rach. *shaking my head.
i'm sorry you're hurt...but i'm glad you didn't get "more hurt".


sara said...

Since I am afraid of horses...I was saying "get off the horse Rach" before you even started the story!!!

HeatherOz said...

Oh Rachel! That is funny! Glad you survived!

Unknown said...

Again. Bubble suit. I am going to find one for you. Because you dont seem to be keen on learning through experience. Or maybe you are just as stubborn as your horse?

GunDiva said...

I was reading Tiffany's comment and thought, I wonder if a sumo suit would work.

And then...I got the visual of Kona's eyeballs falling out of her head if she ever saw you walking toward her in a sumo suit. Maybe it's best if you don't try it.

Stacy said...

And that right there is the reason we chose not to have Arabs LOL! Sorry you got hurt, though - that sounds like it hurt pretty bad. :(

I opened PLENTY of gates bareback on my quarter horses. ;) I even threw my back out doing it once (my back was pretty bad there for a few years). My horse was nice enough to stand still and not move until I could get my breath and hobble off of him. Ah, good times...good times...

Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too said...

You're not alone! I have done the very same thing. On several occasions...

Killlashandra said...

Ummm, should we work on gate opening on the next visit? I'm glad you weren't hurt too bad. What's wrong with your saddle? By treeless are we talking about an English saddle?

Buckeroomama said...

OUCH! Ever since Flame (the horse I rode the one and only time I went horseback-riding with my husband)... I prefer to look at horses and not get on them.

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