Sunday, February 28, 2010

Happy Birthday Baby Girl

Somewhere amazing, a beautiful little brunette is turning six years old.

She is a younger version of her strawberry blonde sister – with big eyes, a button nose, and perfect sweetheart lips.

And while those tender years seem to blaze past for our little ones, it seems the opposite has been true for Gracie.  It feels like I can count each long day of these years because it has been one day replayed over and over.

Here is my sister, on the day before her Gracie was due. 

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We celebrated Gracie’s imminent arrival with a baby shower full of laughter and prayer.

My sister had endured long months of roller coaster medical news.

While Gracie kept astounding doctors with her tenacity to live, my sister fought just as hard to give her the chance.  Faced with harsh criticism from a cruel doctor and one unrelenting grim prognosis after another; she placed her baby and her heart in God’s hands.

And on March 1st, 2004; that beautiful little girl made her arrival – breathing on her own as she was rushed past us to the neonatal intensive care unit.

It’s hard to describe the flood of emotions at that moment.  It was a feeling of overwhelming joy and gratitude to see this precious face, blinking slowly at us from her little bed.  As if she were saying,

“hello, what’s all the fuss been about?”

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What was the fuss about?  She was HERE!  This tiny little gift was finally here... sporting a head of sweet brunette fuzz and looking otherwise identical to her big sister.

We spent 25 hours with this darling.  She laid in a bed… surrounded with far more admirers than machines.  She spent her day on earth being loved and absolutely adored by a family who had waited anxiously to meet her.  How it must have felt to spend every moment of an earthly life surrounded this way!

We caressed her ticklish feet and soft cheeks.

We whispered her name at first.

Then we sung it.

Three generations of love harmonized in Amazing Grace and serenaded our little beauty.

 

There were tears for sure.  But we refused to grieve for her while her sweet breath was on our fingertips.  We squeezed the most out of every moment and desperately wished for more.

You know, there will never be enough.

 

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These pictures break my heart because I wanted to see the rest of the story here.  I wanted to show you pictures of Gracie’s birthdays.  Of every single milestone.  Every single silly expression.Graciemom

But I can tell you without a single hesitation… that my sister would say it was worth it all.

That it is worth the heartache to have had Gracie’s fingers wrap around her own and know that they share a love beyond measure.

 

We grieve now.

We know she is in a perfect place.  Running and playing with a whole heart and delight filling every inch of it.  She brought joy with her tiny life - help me Lord to make my days count like that.

Continuing to rejoice over this little life, I want to leave you with something that brings me laughter through the tears.  My house as a disaster zone after her baby shower, and us girls unwinding – cherishing our last few hours before meeting Baby Gracie.

And in the middle of clean-up, we began laughing at something silly.  And as you can see, it was contagious – thank you for these joy-filled moments Gracie.

We love you baby girl – can’t wait to see you again.

Mr. Rockin Hottie Magnum Daddy returns

Anyone else remember this?

magnum pi

It was originally an I Heart Faces entry that kinda sorta sprouted wings and grew its own story.

See, Lisa from Our Life With Dylan thought Mr. Daddy’s lovely expression reminded her of someone else that she just couldn’t put her finger on.

Then she figured it out and wrote this hilarious post that had me shrieking with laughter (and cleaning up Mountain Dew off my keyboard).

See, she thought the mustached version of my hubby looked a bit like the venerable Magnum P.I.

magnumpi 2

Oh yes she did.

(Seriously, go read it, it’s pee-your-pants funny)

And now the Mr. Rockin Hottie Magnum Daddy legend will just not die.  It crops up in conversations and I giggle hysterically every time I see a picture of Tom Selleck.

As I lovingly tease my husband, he pretends to be annoyed and usually remarks that most people mistook him for the hirusite Mark Spitz of Olympic swimming fame.

markspitz2

(I’ll pause while you thank me for searching high and low for a picture of the man that didn’t include his speedo.  I mean, that’s just wrong.)

Anyhoo… it had kinda died down as of late.  Until we ran into a friend we hadn’t seen for while.

And she was shocked at Mr. Daddy’s appearance.

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My man had up and shaved his mustache one morning… no warning.

After she asked if he’d had the mustache for a long time (yes), she casually remarked,

 

“Well, that would be like Tom Selleck shaving his mustache off!”

 

 

(Just for you Lisa, just for you :)

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Letter of Intent - I am not conceding, I am not conceding, I am not...

Dear Y’all ~

 

36 to 21.

Yeah.

Here’s the walk of shame for ya.

Julie officially creamed me in Round Two of the Battle of the Blogs.  And I need to clear up a couple of items:

I might have spilled some coffee on my keyboard and accidentally voted for Julie the first 15 times.

And those three people that voted for the “OTHER” option, they meant to vote for me.

So really, it was a much closer game, right Jules?

~

Awww, let’s just call it for what it is, k?

I underestimated the power of people wanting to know what is being said behind their backs!

eavesdropping 

  As a fairly experienced lipreader, I should have warned y’all that it’s often a yucky thing anyway.

And  where on earth did y’all get this crazy bank-robbing idea?  I gotta watch out for my bloggy friends with superpowers!

bank robber

 

In the end, I had to sit back and giggle until I hiccupped at Ms. Nurse Boy’s comment… she totally called it y’all:

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said... Rachel, you made me change my mind. I have always thought that being invisible would be a great thing, but if I was a flying mom I think I might not need to be invisible to spy on my kids. I would be the coolest mother EVER. Surely, they would listen to me. RIGHT?!
Oh, and the lady in the Fantastic 4 had to take her clothes off to be invisible. When she would reappear, she showed her stunning figure. I have had 3 children. My figure isn't so stunning... but my cape sure could be!
Mrs. NB

I love this chick!  I totally should have used that argument, but I couldn’t have been as funny as she.

~

In closing, Julie Dear, I just kinda wanted to give you a way to even it up a bit so the next round would be even more exciting!

 

You’re Welcome

 

~

Go check out Julie’s Letters of Intent for more of those “just gotta say it” moments!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Thank You Very Much - The No Good Very Bad Week

Has this been a long week or what?  I am sorely in need of some free therapy courtesy of Kmama and her Thank You Very Much session!

The Daily Dribbles

 

This past week has been chock full of things to remind me to be grateful when life is simply normal.  Because when it's a wee bit off kilter, it can really smack you upside the head.

Where to begin?

Oh yes, to the parents whose offspring terrorized the toddler play area and injured my son, Thank You Very Much.  If this ever happens again, this chick will not hesitate to sit on your unruly child until his screams have alerted you to the fact that you have not checked on him for two hours, Thank You Very Much.

~

To the mom who recently blogged about her Jack Russell terrier… you have officially given me puppy fever, Thank You Very Much!

 

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To Mr. Daddy… I wouldn’t have puppy fever if  you would just hurry up and cave on the one-child-maximum rule, Thank You Very Much.

~

To the same little charmer who I caught behaving perfectly at a baby shower, Thank You Very Much.  I’m glad you could entertain May-May, but maybe next time off the floor?

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And when you squeezed me and looked at me with those blue/grey/green eyes and said, “I’m the sweetest thing”… I just melted into gooeyness and you ran on your merry little way, Thank You Very Much.

~

And at the same baby shower, to my Little Jo… for the loss of bladder control, Thank You Very Much!

What was so funny, you say?

So glad you asked!  When asked to write a little note for the baby’s scrapbook, this is what my creative little niece came up with.  I smell a great little TST post writer, don’t you?

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See why this bladder challenge happened?  And why it was contagious?  Thank You Very Much.

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~

To my gorgeous four-legged friend for yet another round of colic, Thank You Very Much.

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You scared the snot out of me.  Next time  it would be far more preferable to get sick during daylight, k?  Or not get sick at all, yeah?  Mr. Daddy won’t quit reminding me that four-wheelers don’t usually cost $320 to “repair”, and you don’t have to worry about stepping in their “exhaust”…

(And last time your four-wheeler got stuck Dear, your little wifey had to carry our newborn across  a stream to get through.  So much better than riding a horse across, right?  Thank You Very Much :)

~

Aaaand, to my dear friend Julie who has been kicking my butt at the BOB (Battle Of the Blogs) Round Two and poking fun at me on a daily basis… Thank You Very Much.

To all of Julie’s followers who would pick being invisible over being able to fly, just cuz they want to know what people are really saying about them, and because they want to rob banks: y’all are just a bunch of nosy criminals, hee hee.  (And from a chick who can lipread, sometimes it’s better not to know what people are saying about you).

~

And just because Julie totally deserves this… I’ll let you read our email exchange and hopefully garner some sympathy votes cuz she’s just brutal, this girl!  Thank You Very Much!

(WARNING:  My mother always considered c-r-a-p to be a cuss word.  Sorry Mom, read no further)

 

About Julie’s new blog design:

Rachel:  Umm... where are you and Chris (the pictures)? I mean, beside the obvious you and me with guns? :)

me_and_rachel_in_color2_blog_button

Julie:  I know.  I've got to figure that part out still.  I don't want too much crap in my sidebar.  :)

Rachel:  I am relieved to see that I still qualify as crap  LOL   :)

Julie:  I am literally LOLing right now.

Julie:  I cannot get my BOB button to link to those posts.  Can you help me please?

Julie:  Nevermind.  I FINALLY figured it out!!!  Thanks anyways.  :D

Rachel:  glad to be of help :)  (when I did absolutely nothing)

Julie:  You're awesome.

Rachel:  Don't forget... I'm awesome, and CRAP.

ROFL

~

I think we are discovering a new side of eachother.  And the fact that we both royally abuse smilies.

But that’s what friends are for, right?  Thank You Very Much!

~

Now get thee over to the BOB Round Two and help a sister out!  No, not that sister!  This one!  I’m seriously hurting guys, don’t let me go down in flames! :)  Thank You Very Much!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Almost Wordless Wednesday

UGH!

What?

I’m trying to wrap these presents and dog hair keeps getting into the tape.

We don’t have a dog.

I know!

 

 

 

 

(meanwhile, out on the porch…)

 

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Umm sure… just make yourself at home big fella.

 

 

(This is Doc, a sweet boy our in-laws found abandoned as a pup.  Who would abandon this pretty guy?  He recovered nicely, since he apparently has TWO houses that he thinks he lives at now and believes he’s a human :)

Monday, February 22, 2010

True Story Tuesday - No He Didn't!

Don’t forget to head on over to our Round Two of the Battle of the Blogs!  Your votes are the only ones that count, and just remember that we love y’all and we had always planned to do a giveaway when the counter topped 50,000 hits.  (Ahem), not that we’d be bribing anyone or anything… :)

~

 

It’s True Story Tuesday!  Time to round up those outrageous, miraculous, hilarious, amazing, and (mostly) true stories that have happened to you!

I bet you already have some in your archives… family legends that are begging to be reposted… because y’all know that everyone loves some linky love, right?

So… grab the code below the TST button on the ride sidebar, throw it in your post, click on the title of your post, then link up the actual post web address back here at the bottom of this week’s True Story Tuesday.  And we’ll be around with some comment love!

~

This week’s story brought to you from all the way back two summers past.  When we had one comment at the time; and since it’s been a crazy week, I hope y’all don’t mind if I bring this one back for another go-round, along with Mr. Daddy’s original response.  You can see that two summers have really mellowed him out, eh?  (not)

~

He Didn't Really???


Oh, yes he did.

We finally had one of those "kids say the darndest things" moments...

While visiting a friend this evening, Itty Bit ran through the kitchen then put on the brakes. He walked right up to her and I thought he might be considering a bit of unusual hug generosity.

Turns out he was a bit fascinated (I really searched for the right word here... mesmerized, amazed by… you get the idea) by her, ahem, cleavage.

Don't get me wrong, she has a fantastic figure, and happened to be wearing a shirt that was, well.. rather "enhancing" her assets.

As she bent down for the expected hug, IttyBit  just stared incredulously, then finally pronounced loudly, "BOOBIES".

Oh.Good.Lord

I wanted to melt into the kitchen island I was leaning on.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Mr. Daddy hadn't quite caught it and wanted to know what the laugher was all about. Somehow I managed to stammer "BOOBIES" and thought that was enough for him to catch on.

My sweet friend was very understanding (she has a little guy of her own), but how on earth do you get a 2-year old to understand that we don't talk about those kind of things? Especially when Mr. Daddy high-fives you for it?
Yes, we are talking a major time-out on this one (for Mr. Daddy) :)

 

doh

DOH! 

~

aaannnd the thoroughly unrepentant response?

Innocent!!

Of charges leveled, I must speak out!!!! (even if it is from time out).

Yes I did ask my precocious little one for a high five. But, you must hear the (Rest of the Story).

As most of you know, Mommy is legally deaf. which means that with the help of a hearing aid she has some hearing in her left ear. She really is an amazing person, with the help of the hearing aid, and an acute ability to read lips, (bad for Mr. Daddy at distances) she functions in the hearing world like a natural.

Now for Mr. Daddy, he has some moderate industrial hearing loss (especially in the right ear). So you can probably guess how we were standing when alleged incident happened! (my bad side was toward the action)....LOL

Soooooo when our friend with the nice view (how do you phrase that without being sent to time out all over again) bent down to give the little monster the infamous hug????) I was in serious conversation with her better half.

He evidently heard what happened cause he started snickering. I turned and saw the look of utter disbelief on Mommy's face..... and naturally asked what had happened????????? I swear before God and all I hold dear, that she said,,,,,,are you ready for this? "Foochies" which is her way of describing when he (lets a stinker).


Now I ask you? (in my defense) what red-blooded american male wouldn't be proud of his little one when he learned to do that when being squeezed????? Come on let's think about this from a guy's perspective here.

So to cover for him, (cause he had really been letting some stinky ones that morning) as he ran around the end of the counter, I yelled "YEAH!!!! Babyyyyyyyyyy, give me five".......

More embarrassed silence!!!!!!!!!!! I'm thinking WHAT! So I try to cover with "yea! he has really been letting some stinky ones this morning????????"

(Looks of ) are you a total moron? Insert here a little nervous laughter, insignificant small talk, and everyone else trying to change the subject.

Flash back to me????  Dazed wonderment, what the heck just happened......O well just go with the flow! The rest of the visit went well?????? ( I think)...

Jump ahead the the ride home...

Mommy: what the heck were you thinking?

Mr. Daddy: WHAT?

Mommy: HIGH FIVES? What on earth were you thinking?

(insert thought) it was just a little "FOOCHIE" it couldn't of stunk that bad! could it?

Mommy: OMG weren't you totally embarrassed?

(another thought) what's the big deal about a "FOOCHIE"

Mommy: You are in soooooooo much trouble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally I can't take it anymore!

Mr. Daddy: It was just a little "FOOCHIE"

Mommy: WHAT????????????? (I must have had my head turned away from her when I made the comment about him letting stinky ones)

HE SAID "BOOBIES!"

Mr. Daddy: been in the dog house since!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

~

So… does that remind you of some utterly embarrassing moment courtesy of your family members?  Or do you have an awesome and amazing story that is almost unbelievable?  Share it – we’ll be glad you did!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Battle of the Blogs - Round Two!

LET’S GET READY TO RUUUUUMMMBBBLLE!!! Or just debate - whatever. But you…that’s right you, and you, and you, and you over there. This is all about you. So state your opinion (‘cause your opinion is the only one that matters), vote (‘cause every vote counts), and join in on the fun that is sure to rock the blogosphere. It’s time ladies and gentlemen, the time you’ve all been waiting for! Battle of the Blogs Round 2!

The question of the day:

Would you rather be able to fly OR be invisible on demand?

FYI: Julie is in black print; Rachel is in blue print.

Hands down, no question about it- I choose to be invisible upon demand. How convenient would that be?! I have so many situations in which I would love to be a fly on the wall. And rather than being the annoying insect that everyone swats at and enjoys spending time around piles of dung, I would accomplish the same goal while still being me and not a disgusting fly. Can you imagine the possibilities with the ability to be invisible? Oh, I'm excited just thinking about it! Snooping, pranks, pilfering, oh the possibilities are endless!

Oh girlie – you’re kidding, right? Pardon me while I hearken to my recent near-death experience via horse and consider that self-flight would have saved me a whole lotta terror. And possibly saved me the 15 new white hairs (cuz safety is not nearly as important as vanity, right?)

But speaking of safety – wouldn’t flight be far more of an advantage in situations where us women need an advantage? Literally, “see ya later” to any creep. What about Kevin Bacon in The Hollow Man where he gets totally creamed? Throw some water on ya and you're some faceless drippy outline of a person...

My life does not read like a movie script and my powers would not be made visible by water. Ahem. And sure being able to fly would save you from going head first into a horse trailer, but being invisible would give me an advantage every single time there is a problem. Seriously? Creepy guy? Not only could I go invisible on him, but I could then inflict great pain when he is standing stunned by my disappearance. Flying is a great power too- it just doesn't give me the same feeling of greatness that being invisible does. Not to mention my whole fear of heights thing.

To really be sneaky, you'd have to leave no footprints, hold yer breath, and avoid getting bumped into. Not to mention everyone would have to be deaf - you just get a freebie with me :)

Ultimate super power? You'd just be freaking all your friends out and convincing them they had a personal ghost. Oh wait, Southern Belle Trying Not to Rust - I think I just solved your mystery from last week? Invisibleness is kind of a lonely thing to pick, wouldn't you say? But flying? Everyone wants to be friends with the flying chick. See?

 <span class= 

(Jules, you’ve done it again.  I am officially TERRIFIED of your editing skills!) 

And once word got out of your invisibleness, you can bet everyone will be blaming their farts on you.

Seriously- people are not that aware of their surroundings that they would notice my footprints or hear me breathing. With texting, tweeting, FBing, and blogging people are way too preoccupied and self-absorbed to worry if my footprints magically appeared before them or if they felt my breath on their neck. And if someone bumped into me I'm sure I could manage to make them think they tripped over the blue line. 

 Hockey18 023a

And again- fear of heights over here. So I'm over the flying thing. Totally.

Ahh, you underestimate just how strong that "someone is watching me" Spidey-sense can be.

And flying can be sneaky too... who thinks to look UP to see if someone else is in the room?

Who doesn't want to be a superhero? Imagine the good you could do?

 superman_flying-12275 

Fear of heights? Seriously girl, you were ready to take on a river full of crocs last round, and now you're suddenly skeered of the ability to be upwardly mobile at times when it might really matter? Plus get this... I bet you could charge money for some kind of flying show... you could give a couple demonstrations and be set for a year. Whaddya gonna do at an invisible show? Goose people?

Yes Rachel dear. I am terrified of climbing a ladder but I have no problem swimming with crocs. Problem? And no one said I had to become invisible when I didn't want to be that way. I am in control of it at all times. And who needs a freak show to make money? I could totally rob the bank vault all stealth-like with my powers. Because if my pockets are invisible- so is the money that is inside it.

invisible tut

Aaaand this is the point of our debate where Mr. Daddy helpfully interjects that I might as well concede because y'all are just a bunch of criminals anyway, right?  Umm, thanks hon?

~

And this is where we turn it over to you, our most loved readers! Don't let those smiles fool ya', we are serious about our debate and will fight to the death to prove our point. Your job is to vote on the topic at hand: Would you rather be able to fly or be invisible upon demand? After you vote be sure to leave us the reason behind your vote in the comments. Then hop over to Julie’s at Foursons and check out the comments and opinions over there! Julie and I will be comparing notes and will get back to you on the winner of The Battle of the Blogs! (And no bribing is not beneath me. Ahem.)

You can get further with a kind word and a gun, then you can with just a kind word.

                                                                                                                                    ~ Al Capone

 

Itty Bit Update

I don’t think exhaustion can even accurately describe it.

It all started here.  Remember when I vented about parents who don’t watch their children at amusement facilities?  We tempted fate a second time later in the week and went to a local bounce house to give Itty Bit some play time with Cutie Left and Cindy Lou Who.

The place was packed and it was quickly apparent that a good share of the kids in the Toddler/Little Ones area did not have an adult in attendance.  We let the kids run and play – with the implicit understanding that each of them had one of us adults watching them at all times.

See those hands lifting Cindy Lou Who up to the slide?  Mine.  (After she got screamed at by an unsupervised 2-year old who received a timely “manners intervention” from yours truly)

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And on my shift with Itty Bit, I was watching him too.  Yes, he was climbing up the skee-ball alley, but the photo proves I was watching him :)

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And when the boys headed over for pizza, they were under the watchful eye of Cutie Left’s dad, with me following behind.

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The point was not to smother them, but to keep them safe – as it was crowded and chaotic.

The boys returned to jump in a bounce house and that’s when it happened.

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A kid who had been running through the inflated toys area unsupervised for the past two hours, decided to be the bully of the preschool zone.

He ran at Cutie Left and attempted to knock him down.  The little athlete – he just righted himself and moved away.

Itty Bit did not fare as well.

The bigger kid grabbed him roughly by the arm and started swinging him around.  Itty Bit lost his balance and began to fall.  Before I could crawl into the structure to physically stop the bully, he ran full force at Itty Bit.  He headbutted him in the back and laid him flat.

In a heartbeat, my Mommy voice came from no where.

YOU STOP THAT!

KNOCK IT OFF.

The bully growled and lunged at me and if I hadn’t stepped away from the netting, would have struck me with both hands.

Itty Bit was picking himself up, dazed and confused.

Mr. Daddy was by my side as a school-age girl approached him and asked, “are you his parents?”

“No, why?”

“Because he just spit in my face”

I was so disgusted.

We had not seen anyone check on this boy at any time – he couldn’t have been more than 4 or 5 years old.

Mr. Daddy looked into the bounce house again as the boy lunged at another kid.

And my sweet and easygoing and tolerant-as-the-day-is-long man found his DADDY voice.

YOU KNOCK IT OFF!

The kid startled and stopped.  He exited the play area as we began gathering the kids and deciding to call it a night.

(The teenagers who were running the facility were not interested in supervising this area.  Frankly, it’s still the parents’ responsibility and I was not about to take a kick to the face to physically deliver him to the front desk).

~

I was worried.  Of course I was.

Itty Bit has only one remaining kidney.

When I received his diagnosis while pregnant with him, they didn’t even know if he would live.  My mind went back to those ‘worst case scenarios’ and the fears that I push to the back of my mind.

I can tell him he can’t play football.  He’ll probably hate me as a teenager.  I can tell him he can’t wrestle, he’ll probably think I’m the worst mom ever.

But how do I protect him from a random injury when he is simply playing like all little boys do?

Right now I feel helpless.  We need answers and I want to be reassured that all is fine, but I am fighting panic that this will be the visit to Children’s where the other shoe drops.

How many times have I left, thankful that I didn’t hear the words dialysis or surgery, or transplant this time?

Here’s where we stand:

Itty Bit has complained of pain while urinating.  And has suddenly started going far more frequently (six times in 90 minutes, and three times in 30 minutes).

The hit to his back was exactly in the area that needs to be protected.

Friends, I believe in a miracle-working God.  I believe that Itty Bit is already a walking miracle and God can surely touch his body and heal him.

Would you pray for him please?  That God would make his body function perfectly.  That he would not need medical intervention.  That God would give us wisdom in every decision.  And for answers.

I am so grateful for this kid.  This 3-year old that makes me want to be the mom he deserves every day.

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Saturday, February 20, 2010

SOOC - How Quickly

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The days pass so quickly that I find myself sometimes amazed that he is running and playing – remembering the diagnosis that could have taken his life before we could see his smile.

The moments are quickly turning into memories as months and years continue to pull us forward.  They take on a blurriness and the sharpness of  sights and scents fade.

The picture isn’t perfect, neither are our lives.  Memories cannot be edited.

But his glorious smile is etched in my mind and all else fades into the background.

 

How quickly things can change.  A chance encounter with an unruly child, a possible injury.

A hospital visit for information that I both need and dread.

Life is fragile and incredibly precious.

I am not ashamed to say that I thank God for this big miracle in such a little boy.

 

There is a still an innocent softness about him… and I cannot help but recall:

 

I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.

                                                                                                                         ~ Charles Dickens

 

Please join Melody at Slurping Life for more Straight Out Of Camera shots.

Slurping Life

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Thank You Very Much - Rimshot

Time for Kmama's THANK YOU VERY MUCH:

The Daily Dribbles


This week brought to you by the charming, handsome, and exceptionally well-built Mr. Daddy:

(Umm... thanks for the intro, my dear wifey)

Here's to my sweet wife dumping the Thank You Very Much post on me....THANK YOU VERY MUCH.!!!!

Here's to my over-tasked and under-achieving brain, that is trying to come up with something witty and cute....and all I'm getting in a headache... THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!

To the gal who kept bending over and flashing her yellow thong while Rach and I tried to eat dinner tonight.... THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

Sorry Rach I was going to call it to your attention, but I knew that you would just blame me for looking.... THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!

And no it was not pretty - all I could think was that if something was pulled that tight up my butt, I would be capable of hitting high C....THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!

(Rach in: OH.MY.LORD... that is the LAST time I ask you to help me out with a post. No wonder you had me sit on that side of the table... Have you no shame, man?)

(Mr. Daddy back: why should I have any shame??? she was the one bending over....)

(Rach in: *poking my mind's eye out, poking my mind's eye out* la la la la la)

(Mr. Daddy back: I told you it wasn't pretty)


Umm, errr... THANK YOU VERY MUCH Kmama... I wanted to sleep on the couch anyway.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Almost Wordless Wednesday - Hear No Mommy, See No Mommy

Somehow I’ve birthed a replica of myself… a little rule-follower;

who seems to locate every single technicality known.

And in this case, when I say, “Look at the camera honey!”

it isn’t technically disobeying if he doesn’t hear me, right?

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~

Remember yesterday’s post where it makes more sense to close your eyes?

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Whoa… attitude! :)

(Bonus points if you spotted his famous “eyebrows above his eyebrows” and the lovely fingerpaint makeup job).

~

Golldurnit, do ‘em both and add the Chuggington themesong for good measure.

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~

(Ahem) STINKER.

Tickle fingers will get ya every time.

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Monday, February 15, 2010

True Story Tuesday by Mr. Daddy

True Story Tuesday sure snuck up quick while we were so busy celebrating presidents (hardy-har, more like celebrating Valentine's Day candy).





If you're new around these parts, here's the scoop:  you know those amazing, outrageous, No-Way-Jose, hilarious family legends?  Yeah, the first one that came to mind probably qualifies as a True Story Tuesday!  If you've already blogged about it, just add the TST button code shown on the right sidebar.  If not, write your story of hilarity or miracles and stick the same code in it.  Then come back and link up the web address to the actual post (click on your post title, then copy the whole shebang that shows up at top - just linking your website will lose us quick once you post a new story).

So have fun y'all - we'll be around for some comment love!  This week brought to you by Mr. Daddy...

~

The joys of an older sibling




Looking back down the halls of my memories, I can now attest to that fact.

At the time probably not so much. I was sure that Mom always liked her best....

And there was absolutely no doubt that she was Daddy's little girl, regardless of the fact that she was a better tomboy than I was a boy...

She was my knight in shinning armor when the neighbor boys would pick on me in the sandbox.

And my nemesis when she got mad at me and kicked my A@@ in said sandbox.

(Rach in:  I'm dying here)

My eternal guardian, while at the same time being the totalitarian ruler over my life and freedom.

O how I loved and hated her.....



We grew to a mutual toleration, and I could hold my own..... Life was better...and even though at this point I am pretty sure, Mostly sure, quite certain that I could take her in a good old fisticuff. She had taught me that cunning and subtlety, was a much better way to get my point across.  So I named my FFA project after her....




(Rach in:  Oh yes he did)
In time our relationship modulated into a peaceful friendship. Her being the more worldly and wiser in experience, all the while watching over her little brother. Not so much in tackling the tyrants and bullies, as being the confidante and counselor.

The one who went before, and was more than willing to share her advice, (whether wanted or not). That also being tolerated, cause she had a cool car that she would let me borrow to impress the ladies with.


(Rach in:  *plugging my ears* la la la la la la la la)

(Mr. Daddy in:  Rach, what good would that do???)

When exactly my feeling turned to love and respect I have not a clue, and will probably never be able to point to an exact moment when I can say, Yes, this, right here, right now...

It just was....... And Is........ And always will be......

a Joy to have an older sibling...

Love you Sis.


~

Your turn... what's your story?  Link up below for some linky love!


Sunday, February 14, 2010

Faker Pro - revisited

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As a “Valentime’s” Day gift for y’all (what?  your kids don’t call it that?), I thought I’d repost my “adventure” from Itty Bit’s 2nd heart day.  The kid is MUCH bigger this year, and much faster about running from the camera.  So I wisely decided to choose my battles this year.

This should make y’all feel SUPER grateful for your normal kids, right?

Enjoy – from back when we had something like 7 followers :)

~

FAKER PRO

 

V Day

Awww... you guys are so sweet for making me feel craft-worthy with your comments on the last post.
Seriously... I'm almost embarrassed (okay, I am) to admit just how easy it was. And I'd say it was foolproof too, except that nothing ever is when you involve an almost-2-year-old.

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First off, go to your nearest craft store. Go back to the section that has those thin wooden letters. Get the biggest ones you can - those will show up best in pictures.

I picked black spraypaint because I figured as long as I dressed the kiddo in light colors, the letters would show up even if I messed with the photo tones.

So... head to the paint department, but do not, I repeat, do NOT get distracted like I did. Do not start to browse through the colors while the liquid craft paints are within your toddler's reach. Seriously, check to make sure he's strapped in (he was), and that he can't lean over to grab bottles of paint (he couldn't... I have no idea how his little body stretched 4 feet across the aisle).

Do not let the aforementioned child hold a bottle of paint, even if it is sealed in a wrapper. Those things are insidiously deceptive!

And 1.14 seconds later, do not screeeeeeam when a fountain of gooey white paint spurts from the said "sealed" container and covers your child.

Do not waste any time freaking out about the actual outfit he is wearing (and the possibility that he has just ruined an adorable matching shirt and pants that he is wearing for the first time). Just get the child to the bathroom quick.

While racing through the store with a cart that has 3 squeaky wheels and one stuck one... do not let the little darling touch you with those ooey-gooey hands. Stand three feet back and push the cart with your index fingers if you have to.

And when your child looks down at his hands and says, "MESSY!", by all means scream hysterically when he begins to run his fingers through his hair.

This may or may not startle him into stopping (or freaking out and crying), but by this point you should be pushing the cart fast enough that he has to hang on with those messy hands anyway.

Find the single-stall bathroom and wait 4 long minutes for the employee with the newspaper to exit. Do not pay any mind to the line of people around you who are gasping and staring at the child who now looks like some kind of tribal mascot.

Claim the bathroom and try to figure out how to unbuckle the sticky mess without actual contact. Also try to figure out how to pull the slimed shirt over his head without sliding it all up his nose and in his mouth. This is the part where you kick yourself for not carrying those little folding scissors in your purse. (No Mr. Daddy, I do not need a Swiss Army knife :)

Get the kiddo stripped down somehow and stare in horror at the stuff that leaked under his shirt. Like all over.

And on skin, this stuff dries like nobody's business. Those pieces of brown paper that they like to pass off as paper towels... grab those and wet them down. Seriously, you'll have to scrub and the kid will scream. He'll end up with a pink tummy and face and white streaks in his hair.

Now this part is important folks. I cannot stress how imperative it is.

Whatever you do... do not look in the mirror.

I guarantee you that you cannot clean up a disaster zone like this without taking some collateral damage. I cannot describle the devastation. It is sealed away in that special little part of my brain labeled "TRAUMA".

Get the kiddo dressed in his spare outfit and throw away the 32 pieces of wet paper towel. Try to exit the bathroom quickly and quietly and find the nearest checkout line.

Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts.

Have exact change ready and beat feet to your car. If you must, reapply lipstick for a semblance of normalcy, but avoid looking at your hair or the white handprints on the front of your shirt (yes my friends, they looked quite obscene and rather deliberate).

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Here's the easy part. Unload the kid and immediately put him down for a nap. Take the spraypaint can and go over the letters with a couple coats. You can seal them if you plan to use them more than once. If you're really crafty, you could do patterns with scrapbooking paper or ???

But you know, I'm not really crafty - I mean, I can't even go to the craft STORE without some kind of fluke drama that only happens to me.

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Find a spot with good natural light, and consider putting your kiddo on top of something they're too afraid to get down off of. Like a blanket chest or something. Umm, not like I did that or anything. But if I did... it would have at least kept the kid in camera range.

Start clicking away. Thank the good Lord for digital and the increased odds that you'll get a decent shot without spending $26.97 on prints.

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Folks, I tried everything to keep this kid's attention. Do what you must. For two shots, making monkey sounds worked. One was playing peek-a-boo with the letter. For another one I told him it was a phone. Yeah, it didn't make sense to me either.

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Be prepared that the letters may not survive unscathed. As you can see, Itty Bit was in a snacking mood. As well as a launch-them-across-the-room-and-giggle mood. So the "E" is currently an "F". *sigh*

~~~~

Trust me, this doesn't work in just 5 shots. Take a look at a few of the ones we DIDN'T use!

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Somehow... don't you just feel so NORMAL after reading this??? :)