Tuesday, March 08, 2011

I'm Not Even Kidding: Potty Mouth

 

Moms of boys:  do you ever get used to it?

Does it get better?

The constant discovery of new verbiage and tricks that have to do with bodily emissions?

 

Cuz a few playdates under his belt and Itty Bit has come home with a whole new vocabulary…

 

Our innocent guy:

(and very dirty window that either the kid or the the neighbor dog licks)

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Keeping the aforementioned kiddo company in the bathroom yesterday, he suddenly looked at me and blurted out,

 

POOP JUICE!

And dissolved into giggles.

While that lovely term thankfully did not describe the scene, his amusement at the new phrase prompted him to enjoy repeating it with such enthusiasm that I slowly watched my dreams of a college-bound son slip away.

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It’s just a phase, right? Right?!?

 

~

 

And because of this decidedly WINTER weather, he was having trouble managing those fleece-lined jeans.

Honey, pull your pants up”.

 

He looked me right in the eye and mimicked perfectly.  Well, almost perfectly.

“Mommy, pull your head up”.

 

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What???  And why am I even laughing?

(Help me, you would have been too).

 

~

 

And the only reason I’m getting away with publishing this last chapter, is because Mr. Daddy is safely snoring in the next room.

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So the little guy comes to a rather abrupt stop whilst out for a bike ride.  He doubles over, clutches his stomach and hollers,

I HURT MY BALL!

 

What honey?

 

I HURT MY BALL!

 

You hurt your ball?

 

YEAH, MY BALL.

 

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What’s your ball, honey?

(Normally you would think I’m leaving myself wide open on this one, but the kiddo was holding his tummy, so I totally walked into this one).

 

IT’S BY MY PEE-PEE!

 

(Mommy stifling giggles)

Oh, your ballS.

 

NO, MY BALL!

 

Okay honey, you have two of ‘em.

 

WHY I HAVE TWO?

 

Because God gave you two.

 

OH…

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WELL… MOMMIES ONLY HAVE LITTLE ONES!  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

 

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I’m royally screwed, aren’t I?

37 comments:

Shana said...

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Yep you are, as am I and any other parent of a boy lol. How funny.

Lady Old Soul said...

ROTFLMAO

Wow, and I thought nothing could top TST!! HAHAHAAAAA!!! Can I just say, I ♥ your son? He's so funny!! ;)

Mrs Mom said...

Yep. Trust me Rach- my husband has potty mouth in excess.

Convincing my boys to not utilize the rather interesting bits of vocabulary they acquire from him? Yeah. Next. To. Impossible.

For example: Sunday Dear Husband had the day off from work. He and the Locust Brothers were driving to Lowes, when a car cut them off. Dear Husband inserted some rather colorful phrases, and Cub immediately turned to Wrecking Crew and said, "Cover your ears! Don't you dare say what Daddy just said!"

I'll spare you the details, but... yes. It gets used when they think Mommy isn't listening.

Hang tough, and I hope Mr Daddy is NOT a creative potty mouth user as Dear Husband is!!

K- floortime lite mama said...

OMG is he getting more and more adorable every year
Soooooo sweet

Kara said...

Oh MAN!!!!! This totally sounds like the conversations happening with my five year old at my house right now. We've managed this long without it, but preschool has done a number on his sweet, innocent vocabulary this year.

I'm praying it's a phase too.

And, for the record, when my oldest asked about the "ball," he wanted to know why there was a "peanut" in there. I just wasn't sure how to even respond.

Enjoy the new phase!

Aunt Crazy said...

My son will be 18 in 15 days and he still comes up with crap that makes him (and me) giggle like a 10 year old boy saying beewbie for the first time.

Julie said...

hahaha! Sorry. Boys. Even with a struggle with expressive language over here, we still manage to hear the potty talk. I pretty much fell over with incredulous laughter when Daniel referred to a fart as a burp out the butt. (sorry...again) :) :D hehe!

Kelly said...

hahahahah!!!!
No..it's not a phase, this phase will last into adult hood...sorry thats just how it goes.

Cameron called his the "beans and frank"

Allenspark Lodge said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Allenspark Lodge said...

Uber-typo

"repeating it with such enthusiasm that I slowly watched my dreams of a college-bound son slip away"

My mom was driven to the "wash your mouth out with soap" more than once with me and my brother.

Poop juice...

Bill

Amy said...

Girl I am so sorry that I am laughing.... but I just can't stop.

Kids really do say some of the craziest things! Don't worry dear, I am sure his collage career is not quite at stake just yet ;-)

I wonder where Lula Mae gets some things too... I will have to post about what she said to me the other day.... it is sure to make you feel a little better about Itty Bitty.

Not sure if it is a phase or not dear. Just be ready to deal with LOTS of strange vocabulary and laughter over the years!

Amy said...

http://destinationlife-amy.blogspot.com/2011/03/just-for-you-rachel.html

Mom of M&Ms said...

OH my.....rolling on the floor again!

Lisa said...

LMAO....although sometimes I'd like to think that I have big balls...because it takes balls to be a woman.

Tiffany said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Remember, you are married to the adult version. It's not a phase.

My brother asked my mom (his step-mom) why balls were called balls. In the bathtub. He's never lived that one down!

Just think - it will come back to him someday when he has kids!

Brandi said...

SNORT! Oh, girl, I'm sorry to tell ya, but NO it doesn't get better. You. are. screwed. LOL!

I have heard balls, nuts, ball sack, etc. Yes. Ball. Sack. I think they reach a certain age and they just automatically know this stuff.

Okay... at the risk of you thinking I'm a horrible parent, I'll tell you a little story that just can't be a TST.

Bubba has been a little mouthy lately. Lots of sass. He got grounded the other night for arguing about playing video games, and then little brother followed suit. They just would NOT stop talking back. They've only ever been grounded, like, twice. So... they go in their room and pull out their guitars. I'm giggling in the kitchen that they've gone and pulled out the guitars. I don't know why, but it was just funny.

Later, they come out and ask if they can play something for me (DB was outside walking the dog). I said sure and they sang a really sweet apology song. I told them 'thanks' and then told them they should come up with a song to apologize to Daddy.

Bubba stopped for a second in thought and then strummed the guitar and sang... "we're sorry we're a-holes, we're sorry we're mother effers."

I don't quite remember, but I think a beverage might have spewed from my mouth. First, it was HILARIOUS... but WE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT and it was super hard to explain that it wasn't funny while I was laughing.

Mama4Real said...

ROYALLY. Having boys is such an adventure. My 3 year old has come up with some stuff that floors me, I don't even know WHERE he gets it, and its' getting out of hand. He has 2 different personalities. When he's w/ me, he's wonderful and sweet, snuggly... but when his brother comes home, he turns into this weird attention seeking potty mouth little boy... and my 6 year old isn't even that bad!?!?!?

Heather said...

No more than any other parents of BOYS. The Coach very seriously explained to ours he must refrain from all "potty talk."
And he just as seriously replied, "But those are my good jokes!"

HeatherOz said...

Oh my gosh! I have tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard!! First Itty Bit and then Brandi's comment! I have to go blow my nose now! Hahahahahahaha

Stacy said...

I can happily report that my little man never went through that phase. I'm not sure I would have survived the embarassment LOL! I'm sure it is coming, though... They do learn new things at school, unfortunately.

sara said...

oh, life with boys!!!! nope, it pretty much doesn't get better...sorry!!! :)

Emmy said...

I would love to say it is a phase.. but with boys not so sure if that is true

Pam Bowers said...

Indeed...you are screwed!

Bwahahaha...thanks for the laugh though.

Foursons said...

Like everyone else has said- it only gets worse. Batten down the hatches now. :)

Heather said...

I'm DYING!!!! Seriously. I hope it's just a phase, because I'm ready for that one to come in and go out fast!! But, by the way Chad laughs everytime he hears the word "unit," I'm afraid it's here to stay.

Darn it. Grrr. Poop juice.

Susan said...

I don't know which I snickered over more, the conversation you had with Itty Bit or the expressive faces in those pictures. You CAN'T be upset with him when he gives you those looks! Sorry to say that this is pretty much a testosterone thing........they don't get over it, but they do learn to control it in the really polite circles just to please Mama. The rest of the time they're happy to act like they're part of the cast of "Super Bad".

kc said...

don't think of it as screwed per say....look on the positive, and know that your life will forever be filled with laughter!!! :)

Angie Vik said...

Lest anyone is under the delusion that this is just a boy thing, my girls often say things I warn them not to repeat in public.

Kameron said...

Well crap. I was hoping after 3 the poop talk would stop, but I see I am in for it for a long time to come! Boys. Luckily they are so darn cute!

deepintheheartoftexas2 said...

You might be screwed. Not really sure on that one. I grew up with girls.

Still so funny!

robin said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NaomiG said...

Um... minus the ball stuff, I have two girls that are pretty gross. Cracks me up. Especially not too long ago, when they discovered the word "Buttocks". Which is somehow much more hilarious than any other word for the derriere. And, feeling that they must have a song to sing this fabulous new word in, they came up with the little ditty that has been sung around this house until it gets stuck in MY head... "Shave YOUR BUTTOCKS! SHAVE your BUTTOCKS! shave your BUTTOCKS!" Also, this gets added to the end of sentences, yelled in insult when fighting, and used as a phrase when they're in the midst of their maniacal giggling over who knows what. So very weird, and yet so funny.

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

LOL, he is so funny! The ball story cracked me up!

danette said...

ROFL, so far it hasn't gotten much better over here. And since dh is just as bad (if not worse) I'm guessing it's a lifelong thing... lol

Ruby Red Slippers said...

Yes--you are.
Imagine having 13 nine and ten year olds over at one time--the bodily noises made me gag.
Then, after they left, I told my three boys THAT is NOT what I want to hear. It may be funny now, but it would be really embarassing when you are older--so learn to control those gross noises now.
Ewww.
I can't believe sometimes I am the mother of three of these things- I came from a girl family, and it was NOT like this!

Jenny said...

Awwww...good ol' bathroom humor - ha!

Beth Zimmerman said...

I'm not sure girls are any better! Quite frankly I think we're all "screwed!"