I’m a little sad.
My dream of a little craftsman house built between two fields with views out to the creek and treeline behind… fading.
And my dream of having one of these to keep the horses company? Slipping away…
Even my dream of a summer full of meals from a garden… all dashed.
With stunning efficiency, one little talented creature has managed to destroy the life I’d envisioned for the next few decades…
Who might this creature be?
Why a pocket gopher, of course!
Didn’t you recognize this toothsome little fella?
I mean, he actually reminds me of the ROUS that brave Wesley fought in The Princess Bride (oh come on, you guys totally saw that coming).
And yep, these guys are considered “nuisance rodents” in all other counties.
Which means that they are actually protected here.
They’re having trouble telling the difference in dirt evidence between these guys and moles. Leading to my dear Father-in-Law’s whoopsie at the dinner table last night – he had us rolling with “those MOPHERS”. Which is as close as that saintly man would ever get to unsavory language…
Despite that even professional environmental know-it-alls can have trouble identifying a mole-hill and a gopher-hill, if there is even a CHANCE that your property contains or is NEAR property that contains one of these little critters, good luck trying to actually use your property.
Like… to live on.
Our small town has only one house per five acres. Plenty of room for everyone to get along, no?
$7000 fine for trapping one of them at a local historical property.
$500 fine for rototilling a garden.
Permit denied to build a ramp to make a home wheelchair accessible.
Illegal to have a dog that goes outside.
Therefore, shortly illegal to have a horse that goes outside.
(here’s what she thinks of that)
Because all of these actions harass this critter.
I think Mr. Daddy has this one figured out…
Do you suppose they’ll make it illegal to possess four-year-olds?
(before the county comes knocking on our door, the datestamps on those pictures prove that my redneck boys were hunting these nuisances long before anyone realized they existed)
But guys… this isn’t even the punchline.
The reason they are protected?
BECAUSE THEIR WEE-WEE IS TWICE THE SIZE OF AN AVERAGE GOPHER’S.
I can’t make this stuff up.
Okay, so that wasn’t exactly our usual True Story Tuesday goofiness, but if you’ve got an amazing, hilarious, miraculous, outrageous, and true tale to share, just grab the button code on the right sidebar, paste it into your post, then link up below for some comment love! We love your stories! (And gosh could we use some entertainment right about now… we’re about outta ammo )