If you haven’t checked out the giveaway, you are seriously missing out! You don’t have to be a follower, and I tried to make the entries fun. Get this, it’s the biggest CSN promotion I’ve ever seen – $140 bucks! And you can get up to seven entries. Since there’s low entries, you have a 5% chance right now of bringing home those bucks. Not too shabby for a click, I must say… Head on over and get yourself some entries before tonight!
If you’re new around these parts, let me introduce you to the craziness that is True Story Tuesday! I guess some people could call it “TMI Tuesday” depending on the tale, but it’s a great place to share those amazing, hilarious, miraculous, outrageous and (mostly) true things that have happened to you!
You know you’re already blogging those stories, so you might as well link them up for some comment love, right? :)
Just grab the button on the right sidebar, copy and paste the code it into your post, then come back to link up for some storytelling time!
This weekend we were suffering from various ailments… Itty Bit with a cough, me with sore throat, and Mr. Daddy with the MAN FLU. Which means I was suffering with the MAN FLU too… *cough cough*
Which unfortunately means that our self-imposed “Stay Home In Your Polka Dot Pajamas Quarantine” has left us with only one recent noteworthy tale.
And I’m just gonna apologize right out of the gate. Lord, I had no idea having a BOY would entail so much juvenile humor.
GIDDYUP RED ROBIN
So it was bad enough when I originally posted about the Potty Humor that our 4-year-old was entertained by, right? You know, accusing me of practically not having any *ahem* cojones?
Why is it that kids have this sixth sense about performing in front of an audience? Especially when Mom is a helpless witness to the debacle?
The scene? Red Robin
Well, more specifically, the table in Red Robin that sits right under this little lovely:
And even more specifically? Itty Bit was seated directly next to the business end of the horse.
To set the stage, Itty Bit had recently tried to figure out why Mommy doesn’t have to stand up to go potty. And rather than assume that I immodestly utilize the facilities in front of my observant 4-year old, let’s take a moment of silence for all those Mommies who never get to pee in privacy. Because it’s a law in every home that anytime a mother attempts to silently close that bathroom door, a tiny voice will shriek in protest and McGyver the door lock with a screwdriver.
(Oh, that’s just my little guy. Drat)
Anyway… so Itty Bit has been aware that girls don’t have “junk”, for lack of better word.
And as I attempted to settle the little guy in to eat his meal, he just wouldn’t quit harassing the horse. Yes, my kid was the one who tried to scale the horse and go for a little dinnertime ride. Don’t tell me yours haven’t too… (oh wait… tell me, tell me! It’ll make me feel better!)
In desperation, I look my kiddo in the eye and say, “If you don’t quit climbing that horsie, it’s gonna poop on you”.
*Sigh* Classy, I know. But it worked!
He stopped in shock and gave me this pitiful look. You know, this one?
And since we live in Hicksville, he knows that horse poop isn’t anything to joke about.
But then? He flashed me this look and I knew that he had stumbled upon his revenge.
He looked at me, then up at the horse’s underside, then loudly snickered to the entire restaurant:
“GIRLS PEE OUT THEIR BUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT!”
In unison, 43 heads immediately swiveled toward our table.
And the chorus of laughter should have been my clue.
But this lipreading mother had encountered user error in trying to compute what her child had just said. Missing a couple of key words would change the entire sentence.
Oh no I dinn’t.
GAH. Oh yes I did.
I looked at him with wide eyes and stupidly said, “Honey, what did you just say?”
And wouldn’t you know it? That little bugger was perfectly happy to repeat himself for me. At an volume that incredibly exceeded his original announcement.
“Mommy, I saaaaaid….
GIRLS PEE OUT THEIR BUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT!”
The laughter increased in proportionate volume as well…
My husband looked at me in astonishment.
“WHY would you ask him to say that again? WHY?”
I think we’re on Red Robin’s special list now…
We know you’ve got stories of your own! Prove that I’m not the only chick who has momentary lapses in judgement? Or the only one with a kid who knows how to save the good stuff for public?
Link up below and we’ll be around for some comment love!
(and please don’t forget the awesome giveaway – ends Tuesday night!)