Thursday, April 21, 2011

On being lost

 

Remember this?

IMG_027412

And my secret wish for an iPhone after I texted the letters clean off of my ancient flip phone?

And how appalled I was that Verizon wanted me to sell a kidney to pay the monthly fee?  (Yeah, 700 minutes of talk time for a DEAF customer…)

Well, sometimes you just get backed into a corner when life throws up on you…

 

In the week that my Mother-in-Love was diagnosed, I walked around in a fog.  A weepy, snot-nosed one, but a fog nonetheless.

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(Grandmas fighting over Itty Bit)

I promise to share with you someday, why she is so special to me and why I feel so lost.

 

And “lost” would be a good word.

For in a period of 24 hours, I lost:

my phone

my car keys

and my ever loving mind.

 

I literally walked into a grocery store with a list of three items and walked out with two.

I shaved one leg twice and who knows if I shaved the other one (sorry Mr. Daddy).

And I probably stopped midsentence 100 times, unable to talk about something as ordinary as oatmeal.

 

But the kicker with the phone?  Seems someone found it.

With their tires.

 

So my sad little basic phone was now a sad little non-functioning basic phone.

 

Cost to replace sad phone?  $189

Cost of a new iPhone?  $199

 

Except… I can’t seem to get the darn thing away from the 4-year old.

Who is absolutely convinced that Momma bought him a handheld video game…

angry birds rio

 

 

And us?  We’re hanging in there.  Trying to figure out “normal” things like Easter dinners, and dentist appointments – all through the haze of desperate prayer and spending each spare minute with our loved ones.

And the result of a week of bussing between hospital visits and t-ball practices… was a much needed and rare moment of a slumbering child who had gone non-stop from 6am until his 10pm dinner of a peanut butter sandwich.  Within seconds of that last bite…

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I’m grateful for those memories.  Especially on Good Friday.  Knowing that the bad stuff is temporary, and Heaven is forever.  And thanking God for the beautiful moments in between.

29 comments:

Pam Bowers said...

I'm glad you got your iphone. I love mine. I do wish they would create a different plan for those who can't utilize the talking but need the phone to communicate in other ways. I love Angry Birds. I have 3 different versions of it on my phone.

I'm praying that God brings peace to your family.

Mom of M&Ms said...

May this Easter be a time of renewal.. and strength building. You are all in my prayers daily! and while lmy heart jsut breaks for all that you are going through.. I rejoice that you know how temporary this life is!

TIFFANY said...

I remember that lost feeling after my dad passed away. Holidays are hard, but it gets a little easier as time passes. Praying for your family this weekend.

robin said...

Sorry your phone had an early demise. But glad you got the iphone you really wanted.

I just LOVED the last paragraph of your blog...so appropriate, so true, so fitting...the picture accompanying it was perfect!

Mrs Mom said...

Awwwwww... man I love little dudes when they are sleeping like that!! He is so adorable Rachel.

You guys are never far from our thoughts out here. Be strong- Heaven IS Forever.

Big loves all around from our little corner of the world.

Kmama said...

Yay for an iPhone. Angry Birds is so addictive. Buddy confiscated my Droid until I got my b-day present...an iPad. I don't think I've used that thing more than an hour or so.

I'm still sending up lots and lots of prayers for you all. Happy Easter.

Kelly said...

I'm sorry about your phone, seems like you should have had a free upgrade available.

My husband got an iphone last week, and he LOVES it (for now).

Sending prayers for your monther in law. I really do know what you are going through. I went through it with my bff, and it's difficult to say the least. Just know that you have lots of bloggy friends sending prayers for you all, and I can't imagine how many "real friends" you have praying as well. God always listens.

((hugs)) & prayers
Kelly

Jody said...

I can't say I've ever seen a phone worn out like that before, glad you finally got your iphone. Now you get to mess with autocorrect!

My heart breaks for you guys.

BK said...

Ugh, iPhones! I dislike mine :) Praying for yall, and "coincidentally" a friend of mine posted this this morning http://mausersandmuffins.blogspot.com/2011/04/easter-weekend-life-reflections.html

Julie said...

thinking of you

lifebythecreek said...

Beautiful photo, and even more beautiful thoughts there at the end. You know I'm praying (and honestly, now that Angry Birds is in the house, I will have to add a prayer against addiction. I can't get anywhere near that game or I am sucked in). Heaven IS forever... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXp6xcY5IqU

Kameron said...

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. Family is so important to me and I share in your pain. I don't have an iPhone, but an Android and Nate is constantly bugging me to play Angry birds and "Zoodles" on my phone. He even saw me unlock my phone and knows my "secret code". lol

Bethany said...

Oh, that stinks about the phone. Enjoy your new one though, if you ever get to use it. :)
Praying for you as you pick up the pieces and move through life. I know it's not easy. I lost my mother-in-law over a year ago and it still hurts like crazy some days. You are so right about this being temporary. Thanks for the reminder.

Susan said...

Easter is a time of reflection—or it should be—and it seems like you have more than too much to reflect on this year. We can feel your pain, Rachel. You can understand the concept of life everlasting, but not want to confront losing someone you love to it yet. So many of us are praying you and Mr. Daddy through this challenge right now. I, for one, would love to hear all the wonderful things you feel and can tell us about your mother-in-law. I know you feel like you're lucky to have been graced with such a special one.
I love the picture of you holding Itty Bit (who is looking less and less Itty all the time, I might add...) after his last bite of sandwich. That is, indeed, a beautiful moment. I'm wishing you many more beautiful moments this Easter to balance the heartache and confusion you feel. May all of your Angels come together to watch over you and bring some measure of peace to your hearts. And may God's abundant blessings remain clear to you and make you feel preciously loved.

Shanda said...

Virtual HUGS to you sweet friend. I am sorry life is difficult right now. I will be praying for all of you.

I was on You Tube today and was struck by the beauty of a song that I already love - performed in sign language. It made me think of you so I popped over.

Much love to you and yours!

Tamar SB said...

Sorry about your phones "accident" but my grandmother always said "out of bad comes good" - enjoy your iphone, I love mine!

have a good holiday weekend!

Tamar

Mama4Real said...

I don't know why they didn't encourage you to get an Itouch and then purchase the texting app??? That would fit your needs perfectly! My kids love Angry birds too (The Chicken Game).

I'm sorry this is such a rough time for you guys. Praying the Father has special Peace and Grace for you now!

Lisa said...

Love you Rach... and I think of you all often.
The last image is heavenly!
This is the most breathtaking image I have seen over here.
Blow that up large and enjoy the beautiful view. It represents exactly how a mother feels for her child, it is written all over your face.
xoxo

stephanie said...

You will LOVE your iPhone and like your little one mine seems to think that my iPhone is exclusively for her game playing glory. BTW shaving more than one leg is way overrated.

Shana said...

Still praying for your whole family in this hard time. Love the photo of you guys. I hate that your phone was crushed but YAY for a new one.

NaomiG said...

The good news is you got an iphone! :-)

The last picture, and the last paragraph are perfection. You are on my prayer list every day.

I hope you have a WONDERFUL Easter... it will be all the sweeter to you all, because you know how precious time is right now.

Buckeroomama said...

Ahhh, Angry Birds! The kids were just fighting over who gets to play with Daddy's phone just now... to play Angry Birds!

{You all are in my prayers.}

Sandra said...

..These are words to live by: Knowing that the bad stuff is temporary, and Heaven is forever....I need to write them down and carry them with me.

Emmy said...

I hope the bad stuff passes you by quickly. Getting an iPhone definitely was a nice silver lining :)

Michelle said...

Beautiful, Rachel. Your word imagery and photo to go with. Just beautiful. Hang in there mama. Nothing stays lost forever.

myletterstoemily said...

so many women decide to dislike their mother in laws.
it does my heart good to see another woman adore
hers. i will add her to my prayer list. and guess what?
i do NOT hear a fat lady singing!

Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

I've been thinking about you and your family.
That picture is so sweet!

Life with Kaishon said...

That picture is so beautiful. It made me weepy. I am thankful for the relationship you have with her.

Amy said...

you have every right to be in a bit of a fog right now dear. Give yourself some time.

That picture is priceless. It made me cry it is just that sweet!

I heard a song on the radio today that made me think of you. I don't remember the exact lyrics right now, but the chorus went a little something like this "if home is where the heart is, I'm more home sick than ever". My heart is with Jesus and I can't wait to get home someday!

Just think dear, this life is just a stepping stone to an amazing place where there are no tears, no hurt, no hunger.... nothing but God and all His glory! Hallelujah!