True Story Tuesday–Waiver Schmaiver

 

Y’all remember how I got beat up by housecleaning last week, right?

(Somebody save me from my illustrative skills)

 

You’d think I could finally take it easy and recover from my injuries, no?

 

(If you’re new here, the answer is NO.  Of course not… Rachel = accident prone)

 

But with high hopes, we headed to a local bounce house for Itty Bit’s birthday celebration.

And if you get nothing out of this post whatsoever (except a profound sense of gratefulness that you are not spectacularly clumsy) – take this:

FAKE MOUSTACHES ARE THE WORLD’S BEST PARTY FAVOR

 

 

 

 

Our Birthday Boy was far too busy playing for his new facial hair to stick around long…

He was a sweaty little blur – but he couldn’t get enough.

 

And this my friends… is where my legendary injury-attraction begins.  Right in front of that very first step up the ladder to the giant slide.

See, the party plan let one parent in free per child.  And since I knew Mr. Daddy wasn’t going to lose his redneck status by doing something so undignified… I jumped right in (pun fully intended).

(look close, you can still see the lovely burn on my arm)

The real show started while gearing up for another run.  I stood on the inflatable, sideways at the base of the ladder.  I hollered for Itty Bit to join me.

Little Jo was excited for another run too.

Except Little Jo forgot that she isn’t quite so Little anymore.

I think the intent was to jump beside me… but instead… well, she jumped on me.

And as I felt the wall of the inflatable giving way behind me…

…ever seen this?

 

 

Except that we had a two-for-one special.

I kid you not.  The inflatable vaulted us both backwards through the air, OVER the wall of the inflatable

…into the video game section.

I literally flew through the air like this:

My head hit first.

I crashed into a half-wall that was protecting the video games, and that beautiful pike position meant that my formerly-intact shin also greeted the very intact half-wall.

Little Jo came crashing down on top of me, and I was only able to partially break her fall before both of our heads hit the concrete floor with sickening thuds.

We drew an instant crowd.  Especially when my sister spotted blood on the floor and we couldn’t immediately figure out who the bleeder was.

While Little Jo became a wee bit hysterical (I love you, silly girl), I decided to stick with the tried-and-true avoid throwing up in public after a possible concussion thing.

I think the owners were slightly nervous that an ADULT had managed to injure themselves in a freak accident (as well as nearly taking out a couple of Frogger machines).

We both sat down with our respective ice packs and enjoyed the rest of the party from a safe distance.

 

Oh, and I found a perfect set of scratches on my arm from Little Jo’s journey as well.  That brings the total count to…

Waitaminute… I forgot the lovely broken toe from Mr. Daddy’s determination to scare the everloving snot out of me by gently touching my back while I was stalking a spider.  The graceful dancer that I am, shrieked, promptly fell to the floor on top of the spider, and contorted my poor appendages in directions they should not naturally go in an effort to save myself from the miniscule insect.  Broken toe.  Thank you, Dear.

 

(Seriously… I sucked at Pictionary)

 

Oh… an ironic epilogue?  Any wonders where I got the let’s try something fun and dangerous gene?  Here’s my mom and sister AFTER two of us had already gotten hurt:

 

 

What about you?  Any crazy injuries?  Historic blunders?  Outrageous or amazing tales?

We’d love to have you join in!  True Story Tuesday is all about those almost-too-good-to-be-true stories that are told every year at family reunions.  You can even use an existing post (because Lord knows, we’ve probably all blogged them at some point?) – just copy and paste the button from the sidebar into your post, come back and link up below.  We’ll be around for some comment love!