Monday, June 06, 2011

True Story Tuesday–It’s Too Late To Ground Me, Right? (II)

 
Well y’all… I think it’s about time for True Story Tuesday to take its annual siesta.  Would love it if you’d give it one more whirl before heading out to make all your new summertime “I can’t believe that just happened” posts!  We’re saying farewell with an oldie, because I am apparently a glutton for punishment…

~

Somehow, I didn’t ever think the day would come where I would rat myself out to an entire population of bloggy friends… especially the readers who may fill a certain couple in (cough mom&dad cough) on my misdeeds.

But that’s what True Story Tuesdays are for, right?  Coming clean with all the craziness that no one could believe all happens to one person.  Sharing all those tales that are almost too funny/outrageous/miraculous/hilarious to be true.

Come on, you know you’ve got a few of your own.  Heck, you’ve probably already posted a few.  Just grab the code under the True Story Tuesday button on the sidebar, add it to your link, then come back and plug in your post link for some comment love.

After all, that’s what True Story Tuesdays are for, eh?

Now, if you guys don’t see me around for awhile… you’ll know my parents caught wind of this story and decided to ground their 30-something daughter for something that happened two decades ago.

~

It’s Too Late To Ground Me, Right?

 

DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER MOM AND DAD

Remember my last TST?  I mean, who could forget?  The crazy Kirby vacuum cleaner getting tangled in my hair and smacking violently into my forehead repeatedly while my father sat and laughed himself silly.

Now I wish I could say I got my revenge on the Kirby vacuum, but that beast just wouldn’t die.

But that camper… well the camper was another story.

Remember these?

Camper

Well, I wasn’t overly fond of camping – being the prissy city girl that I was (my family laughs maniacally at the thought that I now live in the country with three horses behind the house).  I certainly didn’t have much use for the fake hotel that didn’t even have a bathroom.  And I certainly didn’t have any use for it since I had to help clean it when I didn’t even want to go anywhere in it.

With summer past, I could breathe a sigh of relief.  We wouldn’t be going anywhere in the rain.  And we sure wouldn’t be going anywhere in the snow.

Speaking of snow… we finally got a day to play in it.  We bundled up – my sis and I…

scan0002

Yes, this was taken on the actual day of this TST. (Next time you mention wanting THICK hair, take a look at this picture and just feel sorry for me, k?  Thanks to PCOS, this isn’t a problem anymore, but golly – try taming that before school every morning!)

And Mom… if you’re reading – even though I already told you not to – remember that you love that picture, and you especially love your oldest daughter who would never do anything intentionally to upset you.

Sooo… we headed outside for some major snowball fights just a few moments after that classic 80’s picture was taken (I was so rockin’ that acid wash denim jacket).

We shriek and scream and dodge and pelt our way through most of the snow in the driveway.  My sis starts grabbing handfuls of snow off the truck.

Well, I have a better idea.

(Aren’t you glad, for the sake of your entertainment, that I have such spectacular ideas?)

I haul myself bodily onto the hood of the truck (sorry Dad), and clamber up the windshield (Mom is wincing… I told you guys to quit reading).  I hang like a rock climber from the cab-over part of the camper (I was less than 5’ tall, I didn’t say it was a SMART idea).  Then finally scramble onto the top of the camper.

Whoo-hoo!  King of the hill!  My poor sis is getting pelted with snowballs from above – from my exceptionally brilliant vantage.

She shrieks, attempts a few feeble retaliatory snowballs, then retreats around the back end of the truck.

By golly, I wasn’t going to let her get away with that!  Not when the supremely non-athletic me had finally found a way to best her throwing skills.

And as I went to follow her from above… I took two steps on the top of that snow-covered camper and…

(Look away Mom & Dad)

 

I FELL THROUGH.

 

Oh, it wasn’t enough that I just (ahem) BREAK something, but my entire right leg went through the plastic ceiling vent and I was wedged tight.

Oh Golly.

And darn those siblings with perfect hearing… that little sister stopped dead in her tracks and turned around with a look of pure shock on her face.

“What was THAT???”

“nothing”

“That wasn’t NOTHING, what was it?”

“Nothing!”

“What happened?”

Then followed an extremely painful series of negotiations in which I believe I agreed to do my sister’s chores and eat her vitamins for approximately 14 years.

 

I managed to somehow extract my leg with only minor injuries, but my physical wellbeing would be in far greater jeopardy if my dad found out what had happened to his camping treasure.

So… ummm… I… I… I didn’t tell him.

 

That’s right folks.  I somehow managed to pay my sister off long enough for her to forget  about the “incident”.

Except ‘til early summer.  When Dad went out to ready the camper for our next trip.

And opened the door to discover massive damage.

Golly gee.  Something had broken the vent, left broken plastic all over, and had allowed all that snow to just pile into the inside of the camper and Lordy, that mildew was something else.  Baffling, truly  baffling…

~

Seriously folks, this will be the first time my parents have heard the real reason for that mystery disaster that claimed our camper.  Pray that I will somehow managed to sneak this post under the radar, so as not to jeopardize future blogging.  Otherwise you may just have to petition for my release from cruel and unusual punishment (oh Lord, they’re gonna make me go camping, aren’t they???)

~

I know you’ve got some great stories – and we’d love to see ‘em!  Link up below and we’ll be around with some comment love!  Happy True Story Tuesday y’all!

32 comments:

Shana said...

*SNORT* I remember you telling this one. I love it and it has to be one of my faves. I think you totally rocked the jacket and heck, big hair was the thing right?? I had a ton too but mine was permed and frizzed and teased beyond any resemblance to real human hair lol. Had the awesome ski slope bangs and aqua netted and blow dried crunchy "wings" on the sides. Pure hotness I was. ;)

Tamar SB said...

Oh my word! I can't believe you weren't hurt more! You also must have some poker face to not spill the beans from that winter to now!

Bethany said...

Wow! I can't believe you made it out alive. I've heard some great "mom and dad didn't know stories" but this one tops them all.

Kmama said...

I love this one!! Especially after my recent quasi-camping trip.

I'm glad you are doing one more TST this week before taking a break, since I am linking up!

Buckeroomama said...

LOL, I remember this one! :)

Kelly said...

Oh that is so funny!!!!!!!

stephanie said...

ahahaha I wouldn't have said a word either! I loathe campers :)

sara said...

LOL!!! I am dying to know now what your parents said when they read this!!!!!

Beth Zimmerman said...

So ... did they read this post the first time round and if so ... what was their response?

And for what it's worth ... if you take a vote I bet you'd discover that this is a non-approved siesta!

singedwingangel said...

lmbo ummm yeah I see hard labor and a forced camping trip in your future

Jennie said...

Oh, we had a ghetto looking army green camper when I was a kid. It smelled like mildew too, but I had nothing to do with it :) Too funny!

Mama4Real said...

Your TST's are the best!

Emmy said...

Lol! I can't believe it never came out before this. I think I never would have been able too keep quiet all of that time.

Foursons said...

I loved this one the first time around and it is just as good this time.

I'm sorry I didn't get linked up today. We have scout camp all week and the heat and walking and heat and oh, did I mention the heat...is exhausting and zapping me of any creative energy. I may bail on this week's LOI too.

blueviolet said...

I can not believe you kept this a secret all these years! You have to tell them. They'll totally crack up!

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

WOW!! I'm with blueviolet, what a chore to keep this a secret all these years! You, my dear, would be a great CIA agent, nobody's going to get any secrets out of YOU!! Thanks for the awesome post! I needed that!

RaD said...

It's funny, I've read this story before, and then I lost your blog address and didn't come back for quite a while until I stumbled upon it again just a few months ago. Loved this story the first time, but really this time around you should have shared whether or not they caught you and made you go camping. :)

Sandra said...

I think you're brilliant (and you have great hair!) If I had thought of or had the nerve to harm out trailor, believe me, I would have done it. I hated/hate camping! You're my hero!

Melissa said...

Goodness girl! You do have to share the rest of the story now!!!
What's daddy got to say about that? and the momma? wowza, you woulda been a blast to hang out with...and we woulda matched! I had that same jacket!

K- floortime lite mama said...

OMG I adore this story
And thank you for the comments tutorial
Problem solved

Beth said...

Hi Rachel,
Thanks for stopping by my blog (hanging with the Hubers) and for your sweet comment. I definitely FEEL old enough to have an eleven year old:) and those pictures are kind enough not to display my wrinkles and gray hair!
Anyway, came to your blog and have spend the past few minutes reading and laughing! You have a beautiful family and are an excellent writer! Count me in as your new follower and have a great day!
Beth

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Okay, I need to know what the parents said. Depending on their reaction, I may or may not be able to admit a few of my "accidents" of the past as well. I loved this story!

Sarah Kate said...

Oh my gosh!!!!! This is hilarious!!! What a great story! And you managed to keep a secret this long??? I'm impressed. A doozy like that wouldn't have been able to stay under wraps in my house. My little sister never would have kept her mouth shut, no matter how many vitamins I swallowed for her! :o)

Taraa said...

What is it with people and camping?! I can go a night or two, but then my pain threshold has been met! :) I'm with Sara- we need a follow-up on the parents' reaction to the big reveal! Do you know why I'm having trouble commenting on some blogs? Some my info goes through like usual and now on yours I can't!

Jess said...

LOL! Now that is classic. Just classic. I'm certain it's a common occurance for siblings (years upon years later, of course) to roll with laughter at some of their earlier... ummmm... secrets.

Val said...

LOL! I've.done.things.like.that... and will NEVER confess!!! mwahahaha! Altho since my parents are nearly completely computer illiterate, I did confess that the Flashdance album was actually mine... but only to my online pals... My mom still thinks the album she melted on teh stove and slipped back into the sleeve was my sisters who had already moved out.
Thanks for stopping by and visiting! I look forward to exploring your blog!

gin said...

Oh my goodness, this just made me snort into my coffee because it's so something I would have done back in the day! Your writing style is hilarious and your little sister sounds a lot like mine; can be bought off if necessary! You are hilarious; I can't wait to read more!

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