Friday, September 09, 2011

Letters of Intent - baby goes to school

 

 

Dear Kindergarten Teacher,

 

So you know I had a hard time letting my kiddo go to school.

I love the place.  I just wasn’t ready to leave him there and miss being part of his day.

 

I did all the things a responsible parent does.

I bought $1,452 worth of classroom supplies.  I stocked up on 11,000 packets of those cool applesauce pouches.  I dressed the kid in layers.  I completed a detailed health questionnaire and noted that Itty Bit should not do any major contact activities because of his kidney issues.

I picked him up happy and smiling… with $1,452 in classroom supplies unloaded from his backpack, 11,000 applesauce packs still in his lunchbox, his coat still on (seriously?!?  It was HOT), and with a CHIPPED TOOTH.

 

He “doesn’t remember” how he chipped his tooth. 

You’re gonna tell me I have the one kid in the class who wants to play contact sports, aren’t you?

 

Love,

The Momma Who Can Only Laugh

 

~

 

Dear Mr. Daddy,

Should we start sending our kiddo to school in this?

IMG_4041

 

Love,

The Momma Who Isn’t Ready For Him To Lose Those Baby Teeth

 

~

 

Dear Papa,

 

Only because you’re my dad – I have honored your insistence that I not post your picture on the blog.  But this was just inevitable…

It wouldn’t have been nearly blogworthy if it were only your hand in that last picture…

But the fact that you took a drink, and then this happened?

IMG_4052

 

Congrats, your backwash made the blog.

 

Love,

Your Snap Happy Girl

 

~

 

Dear Mr. Daddy,

I need this.

"mom's gonna SNAP" t-shirt

 

It is here.

Told you I was easy to shop for.

 

Love you,

Yours

 

~

 

aaand back to the school theme…

~

 

Dear School Bus Driver,

Seriously?!?!

You have a full load of kids and you don’t look both ways?

When you cut me off, I was terrified I was going to plow into a mass of second-graders.

The fact that I could see them bouncing around from the SIDE windows as I slammed on the brakes should have been your clue that you most certainly did not have enough room to gun it.

Unless you can protect those kids with one of these,

please be a little more careful with them.

 

Love,

The Momma You Just Convinced To Drive Her Kid To School Everyday

 

~

 

Dear Stinkbutt Dog,

 

I was just trying to get a “first day of school” picture in front of the monkey tree.  And you completely ruined it.

First, you acted like you were bounding over from the neighbor’s to say hello.  Itty Bit was delighted.  Enough to mess up the shot.

 

IMG_4164

Then you raised your hackles and bared your teeth.

Then this Momma raised her hackles and bared her teeth.

 

(Okay, so maybe I threw Itty Bit behind me, stole his backpack and hauled after the dog with it)

 

And when I said you were a Stinkbutt dog, I meant it.

Because when your owners started calling you… I had to explain to my confused kindergartener what “Pooter” meant.

 

No wonder you’re cranky.

 

Love,

The Momma Whose Bite is Definitely Worse Than Her Bark

 

~

 

Join up with King Julien for more Letters!

Foursons

23 comments:

Tamar SB said...

Chipped tooth! Oy!! Hope he is having fun, you're holding up, and Itty Bit eat his applesauce!! And love that shirt!

Mom of M&Ms said...

that helmet is a great idea and would be the perfect accessory to bubble wrap...wound around and around itty bitty's little body..

chipped tooth?? OMGness..

and I do drive those angels ever single day!!!!

lifebythecreek said...

Yikes! A chipped tooth? Acck. But I CAN say this... you need to get used to the "I don't remember" line, cause it WILL get used over and over. And over. boys. As for the bus, get the number and report them. Seriously. There are a LOT of great school bus drivers, but it only takes one bad one to cause a tragedy that impacts a lot of people for a long, long time. And finally... I HAVE that shirt, and I love it! Reaaally soft and comfy...

Aunt Crazy said...

My kid is 18, living with Grandma & Granddad 3 hours from home, going to community collge, and is permitted to drive a 6000 lb vehicle, and STILL, still I hear, "I don't remember!"

Seriously it never stops...

Bethany said...

That shirt is AWESOME! Can't wait to see you wearing it. :)

I think "stinkbutt dog" might get you some weird spam.

Poor Itty's tooth. How on earth does he "not remember?" How on earth do BOYS not remember. If only there was a cash reward for keeping our cool when we hear that phrase!

Foursons said...

You aren't kidding about those classroom supplies. The younger grades need an insane amount. I am stunned he chipped his tooth. How the heck did he do that?! The helmet is probably a good idea. *grin*

Whoa- your dad spit a gyser! I am truly impressed with his skilz. Truly.

I need that shirt too. Too bad it won't work for my working wardrobe. I need new clothes desperately, but need to save up for work clothes.

I am so glad that bus accident did not happen. I can't imagine the horror you would have felt had you run into it.

What is a monkey tree? I love that the stinky dog dive-bombed the picture. And I totally have a visual of you chasing him with Itty Bit's backpack. Too funny!

Thanks for linking up girly, you had a lot to say this week!

Beth Zimmerman said...

Love your letters ... as always ... Rachel! Itty Bit is the cutest itty bit there is! And you do, indeed, make shopping easy! :)

By the way ... orange is ONLY acceptable on trees, leaves and occasional cats! NOT clothing!

Love ya!

Amy said...

What?????? Chipped his tooth???? Girl I would be wrapping my kid in freaking bubble wrap if I was in your shoes! LOL My goodness!

Yes PLEASE drive him each day if the drivers are pulling stunts like that! Ahhhh!

Great letters today lady. Have a great weekend!

PS. Mr. Daddy, order two of those shirts please and send me one for Christmas ;-) Just saying....

Dyann said...

I've sent 3 children now to kindergarten and I can't imagine how he possibly could have chipped a tooth. Good land. Creative, that one is.

And yeah, what is a monkey tree?

Danielle said...

Chipped tooth!? Oh gosh! I'd be a little paranoid. "I give you my kid and you return him broken!?!"

Haha...well, kids will be kids I suppose....

Emmy said...

Oh no-his poor tooth. Don't you love when kids get hurt/injuries and have no idea how it happened.
Glad you were paying attention and didn't hit that stupid bus-that is scary. Though as my 6 year old will tell you buses are very safe because of the reinforcing metal beams that run through them. He knows things like that :)

robin said...

LOL! My three year old has a chipped tooth too! I noticed it one day and have no idea how it happened! But Itty Bit!! That's funny about the no-contact thing AND the tooth! I'd be ticked about the bus thing! Especially now that your own kiddo is riding one! Stupid driver!!

Angie Vik said...

If you need Bubble Wrap to keep Itty Bit safe, sometimes Office Depot has buy one huge roll, get one huge roll free.

Shana said...

Oh I hate that he chipped his tooth. How funny that he can't remember how though. I saw where you pinned that shirt and thought, how cute that is perfect! Love it. Stinkbutt dog may have ended up with a BB or two in his butt here lol.

stephanie said...

I love your letters! a chipped tooth and a backwash bath? busy week! :)

NaomiG said...

Um, wow! What a week! Hope the next one is a bit less eventful!

Buckeroomama said...

Ugh, a chipped tooth... and on the first day, too! Didn't the teacher write a note to explain what had happened?

I so enjoy reading your LOI's... you are too funny (even though sometimes the situation is not too funny)!

He & Me + 3 said...

How does he not remember how he chipped his tooth? I had a hard time with Stunt Man loosing his first tooth. I loved those baby teeth. He still has all the top baby teeth and I am dreading the day that those two front ones decide to fall out. They are wiggly already. Yikes. Just one more school picture with those baby teeth please. LOL I hope that Itty loves school everyday & that he learns so much. I love that t-shirt. I need that one too. Love the picture of your dad's backwash. LOL Great capture. You always get those great spontaneous shots. Funny!

Ruby Red Slippers said...

My littlest guy is in kindergarten too this year...this is HARD stuff, isn't it???
Have a great week-

Jessica {Team Rasler} said...

Oh dear, I don't think I could laugh about a chipped tooth! Good for you. I love those little applesauce pouches. Hope tomorrow he unloads his supplies and eats his yummy applesauce!

Jess said...

A chipped tooth? On his very first day? Good luck Mama. Sounds like you've got a wild ride coming.

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