Sunday, October 16, 2011

I’m ashamed of what my phone says about me

 

 

Truly.

 

In perusing the Photos folder on my phone, I realized that it speaks volumes as to what I find funny or weird.

 

But it also testifies to the fact that I’m a secret photo ninja.

 

Nevermind that the very first True Story Tuesday was based on a total ninja fail, and that the it ended with me diving into my car to escape the mad tow truck guy.

 

What cracks me up though… (pun totally intended) is what I find on my phone courtesy of Itty Bit’s curiosity.  So many unwitting victims...

 

Starting with us.  Because you know you’ve done it.  You hand the phone to the chronic interrupter in the backseat because you need to talk to someone for a contiguous eleven seconds…

184

 

 

And then you end up with 248 motion shots of your journey.

 

003

187

185

183

005 (2)

 

Sorry to the random lady in the greeting card aisle.

065

 

Sorry to the other random lady in the greeting card aisle.

078 (2)

 

Oh wait.  That’s me.

Then, sorry to all those who had to witness that in person.

 

 

I’m also sorry to the lady at the bank talking about refinancing a 30 year mortgage down to a 15 year.  Fascinating topic for a kindergartener apparently, judging by the 42 second video clip.

 

I’m sorry to Aunt E, whose book he apparently handled with his TOES.

032 (2)

 

And perhaps most mortifyingly… I’m sorry to the entire row of law enforcement professionals who were the part of this lovely capture at a retirement ceremony.

072 (2)

 

 

And the tables are turned…

044

060

 

(and a long day at the hospital)

102

 

But it wasn’t just Itty Bit who got busted…

168

 

Yes ma’am, that’s a cherry stem tied into a knot by the same tongue that is licking my face in this shot…  And that’s all I have to say about that.

 

109

 

The Mister was also busted ordering these at the local tugboat races:

015

Of course… deep fried pickles.

 

Not to be outdone, I shamed him by ordering this infernal burger:

016

(jalapeno chuck, straight jalapenos, pepperjack cheese, and “someone call a medic” sauce)

 

Back to Itty Bit – and his new trick:

050

049

 

 

Sometimes a ninja phone is handy for capturing everyday weird stuff.

022

 

I was puzzled at the difference between the pluralism on these restaurant restroom doors… and risked detection in snapping these.

021

020

 

What was even more puzzling was the random observation chair in the women’s restroom single stall.

019

 

That kinda proves it should say WOMEN, right?

 

 

Oh, and get this CAH-RAZY thing: remember how everyone went nuts over the Target Missoni collection?  I saw one of their cute suitcases stashed in the sporting goods section.  I nearly put it in the cart until I saw this lovely tag:

044

Umm… no thanks.

And yes, I washed my hands.

 

 

Another confusing notice at a store:

050

Seriously?  You want me to stand and wave at a toilet for TEN SECONDS?

 

 

And a glimpse of what our days have been like… the poor kid falls asleep on the way home.

045

(No unsafe lane changes were made in the taking of this picture)

 

 

And in the spirit of fairness… here’s a shot of myself:

009

Have you ever tried to give a reluctant person money?

No?

Well, I was.  I finally threw the money at her and rolled my window up.

 

 

ON MY OWN ARM.

 

 

Who does that?!?!

 

 

Nevermind.  Don’t answer that.

 

 

 

And because it makes me smile every.single.time… the exact second Itty Bit realized I was standing outside his classroom door:

030

 

 

Random Topic Change:  Ya’ll are joining us for this week’s True Story Tuesday, right?  Because my sister wrote it, and doesn’t she look like she deserves a bit of recompense for the torture I put her through?

IMG_3126

 

 

Trust me – when you read it, you’ll be losing it like he did:

Itty Bit loses it

 

(Now, turn the sound off and watch it again.  See why I love this kid?)

42 comments:

Furry Bottoms said...

This is going to sound weird, maybe... but THERE you are, Rachel. It's been a while since you've been feeling more or less yourself. You've been through a lot this past year and there you are, coming out to shine again.

I loved all the photos-- were you holding hands with Mr Daddy in the first photo Itty Bitty took? SWEET!

Tamar SB said...

These totally made me laugh so hard! You and your boy love sticking your tongues out!

lifebythecreek said...

Ha! I was going to say what Tamar said; you guys have a thing about sticking out your tongues (well, Mr. Daddy keeps his in his mouth to .ummm... tie knots in cherry stems. Yeah. right.). All the photos are awesome (and make me so so so so so jealous that I have a stupid flip phone with no camera gah), but my very very fav is Itty Bit's self portrait. I don't know why, but I just love it to pieces. sorta like I love you...

K- floortime lite mama said...

This is one of my absolute favorite posts

stephanie said...

I laughed so hard at this post. you and your family are hysterical!

Ostriches Look Funny said...

oh my gosh, those law enforcement professionals! the bathroom signs! the freaky lead contaminated suitcase!
Hilarious!!!

blueviolet said...

You are the best! I love your silly sense of humor and perspective on everything, and your son is clearly following suit.

That is FREAKY about that suitcase. Who would buy that? Oh yeah, people who don't read that death wish warning!

He & Me + 3 said...

I hate to even look at my old photos on my phone. All of my kids have had it at one point. Almost got motion sickness riding in the car with you & your camera. LOL
Love your boys laugh! He is precious. The butt shot has to be the best. Look at the perspective. LOL FUNNY stuff in your phone.

Singedwingangel said...

Ahem I too can tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue.. along with turn my tongue upside down both ways.. I love this post and I too am gulity of the ninja camera operation..

Buckeroomama said...

Only you, Rachel, only you could put together a post like this. :)

Tiffany said...

Oh. My. Word. Do you have any idea how hard it is to laugh silently in an MRI recovery room? Cause I am. All because of you. My sinuses may never recover.

Saimi said...

You guys are the craziest fun family EVER, not to mention insane about what you eat..Holy Cow girl, deep fried pickles and an infernal burger..Yep, I'd say you out did your man!

Cute video of the boy laughing his head off!!

Love every bit of this post!!

Allenspark Lodge said...

"(jalapeno chuck, straight jalapenos, pepperjack cheese, and “someone call a medic” sauce)"

YES!!! I"LL PAY SHIPPING!!

Bill

Diane said...

I think you should be proud of what your phone says about you. You are, clearly, living the good life!

Now I want a better phone. My blackberry does take take good pictures. :(

Oh, and how do you get you little man to wear than awesome hat? No way I could talk either of my boys into that. Oh, how I wish!

Diane said...

And that should read my blackberry does NOT take good pictures but I'm sure you guessed that! ;)

Anonymous said...

So..was that you making cracks about cops or cops making cracks for you?!

Angie Vik said...

I'm just impressed that you know how to get pictures off your cellphone.

robin said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too funny! I have to show my hubby when he gets home too! Great post!! Still laughing (after many minutes!)

Danielle said...

Glad I visited your blog today. I was laughing out loud for real! :P
Hilarious!

heather said...

I laughed for five straight minutes at this post...then I showed my husband who also laughed for an inordinate amount of time. More of these please!

Foursons said...

Ashamed?! Don't be ashamed. I see love, laughter, family, and good times. What could be better than that?

And Itty Bit- oh my goodness, it doesn't get much better than that!

I have a post written for tomorrow if I can edit it and get it linked up before I go to work. :)

Bethany said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I'm sitting here laughing so hard I about peed. Thanks for the fun trip with you all.

Julie said...

:D hehe! <3

Emmy said...

This post is awesome! Yes, I often go through on my phone and iPad and delete many many pictures as the kids are worse than me when it comes to taking tons of pictures.

And pretty much anything and everything is known by the State of California to cause problems- even all of the dishes at Target have that warning... though the wash the hands thing is something I have never seen and so yea, a bit more creepy.

Eve said...

HAHAHAHA!! OMG... three seconds in, I had a perfect comment, but then another bit of your post grabbed my attention. I laughed non stop and have no idea what part to even begin commenting about!! :D

Lexie Loo, Little Lily, and Dylan Too! said...

You have quite a collection of photos on your phone! Love it!

Shana said...

Oh my goodness, I love all the photos that Itty Bit took. Good eye kid lol. ALso, how are you always bruised lady??

Dyann said...

Oh, I love the random. So great.

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