True Story Tuesday is BACK! Life got a little crazy there for awhile, but I’ve been missing our equally crazy stories! And frankly, when my sister brought up one of our ultimate family legends… I couldn’t resist her offer to write it.
But it isn’t a party til y’all join too! You’ve probably already written a tale that qualifies – anything amazing, hilarious, miraculous, and true that has happened to you! Just copy and paste the True Story Tuesday button in your post (that gobbledygook under the picture on the right sidebar), then come back and link up your URL at the bottom of this week’s episode! We can’t wait to read yours!
So here she is… starring in:
I DOUBLE DOG KENNEL DARE YOU
Hi all! This is my first time EVER to post a story, even though I regularly read TST. Just toshow you the connection, I am Rachel's sister, Ju, so we share bloodlines but little else!
(Rach in: She isn’t kidding… she looks like Dad - I look like Mom’s older sister, and there’san approximately 17” height difference. Don’t mock.)
(Ju back in) She is an amazingly gifted writer/storyteller with great wit who is extremelyorganized and, like our mom, can do a million things at once and do them all well. I on the other hand am disorganized, scatterbrained, kinda messy, and usually can't remember what I did 5 minutes ago. Not saying I am without talent, I draw, paint, AND can catch a bucket full of snakes or crawdads!
(Rach in: She is totally selling herself short. Though I could live without thesnake catching thing… mind bleach)
(Ju back in) But, I am also talented in ways Rachel would NEVER want to be known astalented in. The cruder forms, such as fart and burp humor - although, if you think she is devoid of similar gifts, believe me; you are wrong!
(Rach in: My burping ability is slightly blogworthy)
(Ju back in) I have been honing these talents my whole life and the story I am about totell you all is from when I was around 10-11 years old, which would have made Rachel around 14-15 at the time. Anyone who has older sisters will know that one of the greatest joys of us 'bratty little sisters', is torturing our oh-so-mature-and-grown-up siblings. Especially during the difficult 'boyfriend' years.
(Rach in: This picture was from about that time. It was the first time I realized my hairWAS naturally curly, and the the last time I was taller than her.)
(Ju back in) One of my personal favorite things to do was think up ways to truly embarrassher, and entertain myself as well, when 'he' was over at the house. Keep in mind that I had not yet discovered that those type of things should have embarrassed ME as well!
(Rach in: Let’s officially intoduce the players. Sister Ju, and Boyfriend Murkatroid.And yes, he actually goes by that in the family… which is an improvement over his original nickname, “Murky Turkey Water”. I only wish I were kidding. Remember the frosting wars? Yes, them. They are still going strong almost two decades later.)
(Ju back in) Much to my delight, her boyfriend was very tolerant of my antics because heknew me very well and had his own inclination toward crude humor! He was, and is, like my own brother. Aside from our closeness irritating Rachel no end, there were other perks to having my own 'brother'
1. I had someone to rough house with.
2. I had someone who wasn't afraid to burp the ABC's with me in public.
3. I had someone to practice my "special" skills on.
Let me explain these "special" skills:
I discovered at a young age that if I moved just right while sitting on someone’s lap, I couldcause them to howl in pain because my butt-bone was digging into their thigh! Kinda like a 'hands-free' charlie horse. What joy this ability gave me over the years as I went from one unsuspecting aunt/uncle/grandparent’s lap to another until everyone knew better than to grant this picture-of-innocence girl a seat!
(Rach in: You forgot to mention “sister”. Because dang that hurt)
(Ju back in) This 'brother' of mine never REALLY minded the painful charlie horses. RACHEL, on the other hand, was mortified, and let our mom know it EVERY time.
I would get the whole, "Ju, stop putting your butt-bone on your sister's boyfriend" schpeel.
(Rach in: You act like that’s NORMAL or something?!?)
(Ju back in) It quickly evolved to including farts, but by then he was just as guilty as me.Then the whole, "Ju, stop putting your butt-bone"...thing became, "Ju, stop putting your butt-bone on your sister's boyfriend, and will you guys pleeeaaase stop FARTING?!"
TOTALLY unsuccessful by the way. I thought the talking-to was almost as funny as the actitself, so it was never really a punishment, which of course infuriated my dear sis even more. It couldn't have worked out better for me!
Then came the terrible, awful day that haunts me still.
The day I really got my dues.
As usual, he was over that day. We had been having a wonderfully fun time filled with talkand practice of bodily functions. Being young and easily duped, I agreed to a dare I should have seen coming a mile away. 'He' dared me to climb into a dog kennel. You know, the kind that is all hard, molded plastic with a metal mesh door that locks from the outside?
He promptly locked the door, gave me an evil grin, and squatted with his butt just inches frommy face and
let it rip!
All my senses were assaulted by his horrendous fart.
And it WAS truly horrendous.
He laughed at me nonstop for a good 5-7 minutes while I was trapped with that nastiness!
P.S. I daresay, even my perfect sis had a smirk on her face that day as she witnessed me getwhat I had comin. Even though this took place 20 years ago, the "dog kennel incident" is one we still laugh about to this day!
(Rach in – trust me, she got what was coming to her more than once!)
Thanks Ju for the memory of that day where I looked into the backyard to see you screamingin the dog kennel and Murkatroid collapsing in laughter. It was worth every butt-bone hands-free charlie horse you ever gave me.
Now it’s up to you guys to share the love. Add your own link below and we’ll bearound to enjoy your tales too!