Sunday, November 27, 2011

in other words, I Know Better

 

I thought we’d sweep through the Midnight Madness sales, then go home and blissfully sleep while others duked it out on Black Friday.

 

Except that 93.7% of the Pacific Northwest thought the same thing.

 

My mother was my partner in crime.  If you’re wondering which version of her it was… Walla-Bip-Boo is correct for $400.

funnyface

 

We drove up to Toys R Us shortly after 10pm.  It was POURING.

 

And the line went around the side of the building, but people seemed to be moving quickly in.  After all, they’d been open for an hour already.

 

I ditched my coat (mistake #1), and we ran to the back of the line.

 

Except the line wasn’t moving any more.  And the end of the line was…all the way around the building to the back.

 

It was POURING.

 

We discovered that the crazy shoppers were only being admitted in batches and we were at least 3 or 4 batches away.

 

It was POURING.

 

My mother decided to run back to the car and grab our coats.

 

It was THIRTY-FIVE DEGREES out y’all!

 

And because I hadn’t had a chance to change out of my Thanksgiving outfit, I was dressed in 3” boots (mistake #2).

 

I stood there shivering while 1200 crazy shoppers looked at the one poor amateur who didn’t have an umbrella or a Starbucks cup.

 

It was POURING.  Did I mention that?

 

Do y’all know what solid rain does to my hair?

 

IMG_1249 copy

 

Ten minutes later, my mother returns.

 

In her car.

 

This is crazy.  Let’s go to another store and come back.

K.

 

So we wind up at the mall – and without fail, all of the other stores open at least 90 minutes later.

Old Navy

Macy’s

JC Penney’s

Target

Fred Meyer

Kohl’s

 

Which led to a “let’s just go to Walmart” moment (mistake #3) where we are greeted at the entrance of the parking lot by this scene:

Walmart–auto vs. pedestrians

 

Drunk driver vs. pedestrians – a 9-year old and her aunt. Unbelievable.  Prayed as we parked, then braved the crowds.

 

Lovely Walmart basically had none of the good stuff on sale until midnight – and employees were guarding plastic covered rows of the sale items.  Lines stretched down aisles and I was amazed at how many little kids and babies were along for the madness.

 

So we ditched Walmart and headed back to a DIFFERENT mall.

 

If you’re counting, it’s SEVEN stores and we haven’t bought a thing.

 

Finally it’s midnight and we pick Kohls because the line was shortest.  We dash through and have our goods in under 30 minutes.  Since there were no carts or bags to be found, we soldiered on with boxes stacked nearly to our heads.

 

The checkout lines were I.N.S.A.N.E., so we headed back upstairs to Customer Service to pay there (mistake #4).

 

Unfortunately, they let us wait awhile in that line before announcing that Customer Service would only be handling credit applications.  ARGH.

 

Marched back downstairs to a line that literally made a circle around the store.  ARGH again.

 

We spend the next hour sliding our boxes by inches across the floor.  And conversing in sign language ninja style.

 

Because nothing requires so much stealth as talking about the four completely stoned customers in line in front of you.

 

Nothing like free entertainment.

 

By the time we’ve paid for a handful of items, we are past curfew and this chick needed to head home to trade shifts with the Great Hunter.

 

I crawled into bed at 4am – after shopping at exactly ONE store, and slept hard until Mr. Daddy left to chase the wily wapiti.

 

Stupidly, I decided that Itty Bit seems pretty mellow and maybe I can cover a few Black Friday sales (mistake #5).

 

Normally the kiddo is something like this:

IMG_5982

 

But he seemed fine… here’s proof:

IMG_1901

(If I hadn’t put him in the cart, that would have been Mistake #6, yay me!)

 

And he was being pretty darn quiet.

 

Except for the coughing.

 

Which got worse and worse and worse.

 

I did the speed shopping thing at Target – noticing that people kept looking at Itty Bit when he’d cough.  I got a million judgmental stares and felt like explaining every 5 minutes that the doctor said he wasn’t contagious and it could take awhile for the tickle in his throat to go away.

 

Made sure he was feeling okay and checked – no fever.

 

We raced to Macy’s for that awesome $9.98 deal on cake pop makers:

bella cake pops

 

Except that Itty Bit kept stopping to cough… and finally, very considerately, threw up into his hands.

 

Imagine me rushing the kid to the bathroom, cleaning his hands and making sure he was alright.  Not traumatized.  Just mellow.

 

And coughing.

 

 

And of course, by evening, it was a barky cough with a fever.

 

Parent Fail.

 

And no cake pop makers.

 

What was your Black Friday like?

~

 

 

And I know you guys will get sick of me asking… but it’s probably the easiest and cheapest (free!) good deed you can do today.  Can I beg for your daily vote here so that we can support Morning Star Foundation with a $$ prize?  This is not a large-scale operation… these funds go directly toward life-saving care for babies like Timothy.

Timothy3

 

So grateful to the amazing friends who have voted and helped spread the word!

Please vote here – and leave your double dog dare here :)

16 comments:

stephanie said...

that is too funny! what a day!! and poor Itty!!! We holed up in the house ALL day- I don't do Black Friday here in El Paso. After going out once while 8 months preggo with Maggie and a lady shoved her elbow into my pregnant belly I said never again!

robin said...

I don't like crowds! But, I ventured out to a couple of stores around noon on Black Friday. I was able to get a couple things I wanted but not the really cool cheap electronics because I wasn't going to camp out to get a chance to buy them! If I had a bunch of relatives or others to buy for, I might have considered it...but my kiddos change their minds so close to Christmas that I wait until later to actually go shopping! Checking out the news, there were several deaths/robberies during that day...glad you came out in one piece! Hope Itty Bit feels better soon!

lifebythecreek said...

Poor little man... going to school = hopping on the germ bus, for sure. Expect at least a couple of winters with interesting "bugs" coming to visit, and know that it does get better as they get older. As for Black Friday... the only black I see is the inside of my eyelids. When I can get the same or better deals through my computer in the comfort of my home (withOUT having to battle the crazed grandma who pepper-sprays the crowd to get an advantage on grabbing a few Xbox systems!), then my butt will stay HERE. At least you and your mama got some bonding time, right? Umm, but maybe next year you can do that bonding over milk and cookies, next to a roaring fire... ;<)

Allenspark Lodge said...

"four completely stoned customers in line"

That is the ONLY way you could get me to do that.

You are strong women. Maybe not to smart, but strong.

Bill

Brandi said...

Only you, Rach!!! HA! 100 bonus freak points! And that is why I spent Black Friday SLEEPING!!! LOL. ;)

Every year I wonder what it would be like to go, and every year I chicken out... and every year when I see those crazies pushing and trampling each other to get into stores on the news footage, I think I made the right decision. I was shocked to see how many people take their little kids too! I love me some online shopping though. :)

RaD said...

You listed several reason why I don't black Friday shop. It's just not worth my sanity. Hope Itty Bit is feeling better soon!

Singedwingangel said...

Do you know what amazes me the most about Black Friday is MOST stores offer the same deals ONLINE.. Sooo I would sit my happy crack at home and get it shipped to MY door.. umm yeah. That is crazy about the drunk driver. I hope they are fine as well. Poor Itty Bit.. hope he is feeling better hun.

LaVonne @ Long Wait said...

We didn't even brave it. My SIL wanted to, but there was no way I could be out that late, and be able to function the next day. So we got up at 7am and were at the stores at 8am. We still found some great deals.

And since we are in San Diego area right now, it got up to 67 degrees. (Pretty nice, huh?)

I am going to freeze when I get back home to Washington on Monday...

GunDiva said...

We slept in, then dragged our happy butts to Kinsco Police Supply, where we fondled all of the 5.11 gear that we'll have to go back and buy when we have money. They even fed us tri-tip steak while we were there. Everyone was super polite (maybe the fact that most of their customers are armed has something to do with it?) and there was no pushing or shoving; just a bunch of strangers having a good time at a store with good customer service (did I mention that they fed us?). Then we drove down to Denver to Bass Pro Shops. What a freaking zoo - we made a lap and hit a couple of other stores on the way home, but didn't buy a thing. It was actually a pretty good Black Friday :)

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said...

I'm exhausted just reading about your adventures in shopping. I hope the poppy-thingy-baker was worth it! :)

Bethany said...

Oh. My. Word. That is black friday shopping from hades. That is just nuts. Poor Itty Bit. Isn't that always the way it is though? I'm trying to figure out if my kids have hand foot and mouth. But, since there is nothing they can do for it, I'm not shelling out the $$$ for them to look at her and tell me what I already know. Is that bad?

Is he feeling better?

Anonymous said...

It's a good thing you're an obedient full-grown child - if you hadn't gotten back in the car at Toys-R-Us I just might have had to hog-tie you and thrown you in the back of my heater blaring car - it would have been justifiable kidnapping - I did for her own good, Officer, really I did!

Foursons said...

Yup, just another episode of The Truman Show. You're just proving my point with this post!

Poor Itty Bit. I hope he is feeling better by now.

Emmy said...

Oh no! Poor Itty Bit! And yea, this post just makes me think even more that Black Friday is not worth it.

Lexie Loo, Lily Boo, and Dylan Too! said...

Oh my word. That sounds like an adventure!

Melissa said...

Dang! your a trooper on this shopping thing!
sorry bout the itty bit episode :)