Monday, November 28, 2011

Truth In Advertising



It’s official.


Taking secret ninja pictures of blogworthy moments = devoted blogger.

Writing a self-humiliating TST for a couple of years = devoted blogger.

Writing down blog post ideas on scraps of paper = devoted blogger.

But keeping a collection of weird pictures on my desk, waiting to scan them and blog about them = officially nutty blogger.



First up, is this gem from The Scooter Store:





They obviously know me well if they want me to have them CALL ME.  Trust me… the only time this deaf chick answered the phone in the last decade was to do this to a poor feller.  (May 21st… remember that day we were all supposed to be raptured?)


So, no I won’t be asking them to call me.


But WHY ON EARTH do I need a Free Mobility Consultation?  And why is it capitalized like some official medical test?


Conspiracy Theory #1:  They read my blog and know I have a special talent for stupid injuries.  That might explain the AFLAC mail too…


But what really cracks me up… is that they somehow think their offer of a free Puzzles and Games Booklet (again, with the wonky capitalization!) will convince me to let them call a deaf chick.  I mean it’s not even a Book!  It’s a bookLET!  What fancy Puzzles and Games Booklet has to do with a scooter, will forever be a mystery to me.






Behind Door Number Deux, we have this beautiful “must have” advertisement from a magazine.


must have

Just for kicks… tell me how old do you think that magazine is?


Now check out the date at the bottom.




And somehow, those printed pants are the sixth most needed thing in my wardrobe this season?


I’m incredibly confused.


(and the random vines and hay are totally reminding me of the Fire Swamp – anyone else?)






Next on our must-have list is an essential grooming device.




Unfortunately, I’m not only apparently wardrobe-impaired, but I am also woefully behind on the bedazzling trend.

I didn’t opt for the $200 Luxe Edition Crystal Slant Tweezer and Stand (because really, who doesn’t have a tweezer STAND???).

I now feel fully justified in blaming my $2.99 Walmart tweezers for the fact that I look like Geraldo every morning.


And I totally challenge any of your Pinterest addicts to go make one of those out of Swarovski crystals and a glue gun - then CALL ME to tell me they work better because they’re sparkly.







Conspiracy Theory #2 – THEY WANT ME TO GET HURT.




Does this only look ridiculously dangerous to me because I’m fun-size?  Tell me!






This one takes the I.cannot.stop.laughing prize.


dog shoes


I’ll shut up and let the video do the talking…






And I know, I know… I’m becoming that annoying blogger who keeps begging for votes.  But can I be serious here for a second?  I am so thankful to those of you who are dropping by daily to vote.  Who are spreading the word.


I don’t really know much of what it’s like to live halfway around the world – sacrificing for children who are aren’t born with healthy bodies or families who can care for them.

I don’t really know what it’s like to deal with IV’s and feeding tubes.

I don’t really know what it’s like to hear that a hospital will not admit your desperately ill baby without several thousand dollars in cash.


Voting ends on Wednesday, but these kids will still need formula, diapers, surgeries.  That $1000 is more than a prize – it could mean a lifesaving medicine at exactly the right time.


God is doing big things through the Morning Star Foundation Home.  Bill and Lynsay are at the top of our list of charities… this isn’t a big giant corporation; it is a home with willing hands loving children who might otherwise be forgotten.


Please know I am not overstating this… children die.  Bill and Lynsay have put their hearts into this, and I know it must feel incredibly unfair that funds sometimes seems to stand in the way of a life.


See for yourself… then please vote.  Just two more days.


You can make a difference.













Please vote here.


Stasha said...

You can never ask often enough for a worthy cause...
So are you saying I should cancel my order of printed pants?!

Singedwingangel said...

BWHAHAHH the pants one had me cracking up.. and the fact that the woman had on rusty red boots with purple pants.. really ?? Color blind much??

I am pimping as hard as I can hun and voting every day..

Kmama said...

The dog video was so priceless. It reminded me of the first time we put Buddy in boots. I have a video of him crying as he walked around in them.

I'm voting!!

sara said...

oh my word, I watched the dog video 3 times!!!! hilarious!

stephanie said...

Those printed pants hurt my eyes. and I have the same magazine because I saw the same article and magically thought I'd been transported back two decades. ick!

myletterstoemily said...

YOU are funny, and i need funny, so
i will be baaaaaack!

Bethany said...

Hahahahaha! Fire swamp! I haven't thought about that movie in ages.

I can so see my parents doing the dog thing. My mom sews coats for them. Shoes can't be far off.

I'm happy to vote. It's such a little thing for a big reason.

GunDiva said...

92 votes. 93 as soon as I get logged into FB from my work account! Why didn't I think of that earlier?

Foursons said...

Don't ya know that bling makes EVERYTHING work better? :)

Those pants- they are hideous. The gold belt is straight from the 80's too. And it isn't a good comeback either.

I voted again this morning!

Anonymous said...

I keep trying to vote & it won't let me! And I can attest to the fact that you have officially graduated to "BLOGGERS GONE WILD!!" You know it's true when you have your family trained to say "Now that blogworthy!"

Anonymous said...

Excuse me...I meant to say, "Now THAT'S blogworthy!"

Stacy said...

Didn't you know the 80's are back?? Those pants do not surprise me, since hammer pants are currently being worn, as well. *shudder*

Life with Kaishon said...

This makes me cry. I will keep on voting.