Thursday, December 01, 2011

Letter of Intent–Chop Shop




Dear Readers,







You think you know what’s coming, don’t you?




You are wrong… oh so wrong






Dear Itty Bit,


I was putting in some last minute Mom-of-the-Year bonus points, sitting crosslegged on the kitchen floor making a felt stocking with you tonight.

We were having a jolly time.



Until I felt a whoosh by the side of my face.


And saw you staring at me with curious/terrified/triumphant expression.

As the pieces slowly began to fit together, your expression turned to concern mixed with a hopeful, “I’m cute, right?”







You went all ninja and totally snipped a lock of my hair off before I realized what had happened.


I stared in shock at you for a good eleventy seconds (giving plenty of time for your life to pass in front of your eyes), and STILL couldn’t help stammering.  Each attempt a slightly higher and more panicked pitch.



Did you…?

Did you…?

Did you just CUT…???




I don’t think you were even breathing by then.  I think you were slowly realizing that you’d just broken a BIG BIG BIG rule.


Like bigger than the don’t say “shoot’ and don’t say “butt” rule.

“Mommy, shoot is a bad word.  Mommy, butt is a bad word.  Mommy, what about shoot the butt?”


(No lie, that happened today; and the only reason it’s a rule is because it’s so darn funny it’s dangerous when he says it at the dinner table).



So as I sat staring at you in unshakeable shock, you answered me.





Ohmygosh Boogie, WHYYYYYYY would you even do that?


And then… you broke out that ridiculous cute grin and I lost it.



I hope that you will remember our talk.  Because even if they’re going gray and they aren’t real cooperative… I’m kind of fond of those disobedient hairs.  Kind like you’re fond of Christmas presents…




The Momma Who is Afraid to Go to Sleep Tonight




Got letters?  King Julien’s got a carnival for you!  Join along!




Also linking up with Kmama & Emmy for Proud Mommy Moments!



Foursons said...

First off, WHERE IS THE PICTURE???!!!!

And no way did Itty Bit do that!!! Oh my word, you handled that so much better than I would have. I do love that you gave him plenty of time to have his life flash before his eyes though. That's an important parenting skill. Bwhahahahaha.

Thanks for linking up girly!

stephanie said...

we need pictures! that's my worst nightmare no kidding. I'd collapse into a sobbing heap- I'm vain about my hair obvi. :)

Singedwingangel said...

Hey maybe he saw a wild hair that was like stick straight among curly ones or something.. yeah that is it..

scooterpie said...

Wait...the photo ninja has NO pictures to post with this gem??? Who ARE you and WHAT have you done with my sister?

Allenspark Lodge said... many hairs went by the wayside? Ditto to the pics!!

Jenn said...

Oh that is just classic! A picture is definitely a must!

Michelle Pixie said...

OH NO! We definitely need pictures.

julie in memphis said...

Ditto everybody else: where's the picture?!?! And I'm wondering if it's not Itty Bit who should be afraid to go to sleep tonight!

Susan said...

Not just a great story, but the way you told it....well, masterful. You have a knack for wringing the funny out of a situation and letting it splash all over the post. Love that!

Danielle said...

Yeah, PICS!!

Oh my gosh! I dont know what I'd do!!!

NaomiG said...

Um, oh dear!

That was probably one of those impulse things when a kid does something they just think about without actually thinking about the consequences, and then immediately realize they screwed up, big-time. Poor thing. I bet the fear was worse than the actual punishment! And poor you! I hope it's easy to cover up until it grows out!

Emmy said...

Oh no!!! I so would have freaked. Can't believe he asked if he was cute!! He is a sneaky one.

Great PMM thanks so much for linking up!!

Bethany said...

He did NOT! I had one come close, but never, ever....


I want to see a picture. ;)

And seriously? Your kid is so funny and ornery. I think I'd die from laughing.

He & Me + 3 said...

Omgosh, that is kind of just a little funny. I am sure it was not too funny at the time, but it is funny now...right? blogging about it makes it all better too? right. Never a dull moment with little boys.

Anonymous said...

Better ban scissors from the new couches!

Kmama said...

I somehow missed this last week. Oh my goodness. You are in so much trouble with that cute little guy. Hopefully he didn't do too much damage!

Thanks for linking up!

Chelsey said...

How funny -- You have your own stylist!!!

My son cut my daughter's hair once (and his teddy's nose, and the knee of his pants and ...).

HeatherOz said...

Noooooooooo! That is just so funny. The "shoot the butt"! Not that he cut your hair! LOL
Pics Please!!

Samantha said...

I know every kid eventually manages to cut their own hair, but I didn't know that they would attempt to cut their Mom's head? Now I'm all paranoid and stuff. Looks like I need to find a safe with a code that only I know to lock my scissors in :)

HeatherOz said...

Noooooooooo! That is just so funny. The "shoot the butt"! Not that he cut your hair! LOL
Pics Please!!

Lisa said...

My son did this to me once! LOL! He was playing with my hair and then I heard snip. Ugggg! my hair is straight as can be! There was no hiding!!! LOL! You just have to love little boys!!!! There the best! :)

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