Wednesday, December 28, 2011

over

 

 

whelmed…

 

 

Christmas was good.  In a sad way.

I don’t think it will ever feel really right.

 

IMG_6409

 

 

We are battling stupid colds.  An anniversary couldn’t get more romantical than falling asleep at 7pm with some Nyquil.

 

We need to get better.  This dude has a pre-op appointment next week :(

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Want the quickest Christmas Day recap ever?

 

IMG_6272

 

This kid… got up Christmas morning and didn’t even want to open presents.  He was all-consumed by his Christmas Eve Legos.

Goodbye Thomas and “I want my Percccccyyyyy”.  Welcome punctured soles and grinding vacuum cleaners.

 

~

 

You’re probably welcoming the absent crush of holiday pictures.  100,000 Freak Out points to me…

 

 

I BROKE MY LENS.

 

 

As in, I BROKE MY 50mm 1.4 LENS.

 

 

(Commence sobbing).

 

 

In true it could only happen to me fashion… the camera bag strap got tangled with my purse strap.  And as my purse swung around, the bag hit the floor with a thump to wake the deaf.

I managed to completely kill the autofocus motor… the rattle inside the lens confirms it.  Manual focus is off and refusing any tack sharp shots.

Now is probably not the time to try to talk Mr. Daddy into an upgraded camera, eh?

 

~

 

Many, many heartfelt prayers this season.

 

My friend who got married this year is facing the final decisions of her diagnosis.

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We prayed she would survive to use the tickets to her first Nutcracker ever.  And she did.  Barely.

Literally as she was fading from a burst tumor, another one grew over it and stopped the bleeding.  Talk about God working in mysterious ways.

 

You couldn’t wipe the smile off her face as she sat there watching the same production that I’d danced in for years.  It was 26th season I’d either performed or watched it… I knew every scene.

 

But it was brand new to her.

 

As we giggled like juveniles over the men in tights, the curtain parted for the second act.  Fog swirled over the stage as little girls in white dresses floated on their tippy toes.

 

She was silent, misty eyed.

 

Without taking her eyes off the stage, she quietly said,

 

“I wonder if it will be like this when I go home”.

 

 

I had no words.

 

She will leave two boys and a new husband.  A family devoted to her.  I can only imagine how they are squeezing the most out of each day.

 

Hospice has been called.

 

And as much as I’ve asked for your prayers recently, I ask for them again.  She is ready, but the heartbreak is never easy.

 

~

 

 

And in choosing to be intentional about our time and the blessings given to us… I hated the thought of letting your efforts for the Morning Star Family Home be for nothing.

 

We were up to nearly 300 votes by the time it closed… THANK YOU.

darn me for unfriending all those strangers on Facebook Winking smile

 

 

A certain someone is a bit of a softie for those babies and the work Bill & Lynsay are doing… he volunteered to donate $1 for each vote.

 

santa1

 

 

Thank you, for walking through 2011 with us.  Through some sad lows and some beautiful climbs.

 

We cherish you and wish you the most amazing 2012.

 

Mr. Daddy, Rachel, and Itty Bit

22 comments:

Pam D said...

"If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride"... and if prayers were horses, I'd be sending an entire stampede your way. This year has been so awful in so many ways for you, and yet you keep finding the beautiful parts and putting the spotlight on them. May God keep filling up your tank with laughter and love and light... enough to keep carrying you over the hard parts. I'm so sorry for your friend... and I hope you told her that what she saw on that stage vs Home is like the difference between a match and a flame thrower...
(((hugs))))

Bethany said...

Staring at my keyboard wishing there were words to type that heal the way we see healing in our earthly perspective.

My heart is aching. My eyes are stinging.

Since there aren't words, I'll pray you are able hold onto the hope that God has given us as a gift in moments of uncertainty.

He is able. And He will redeem.

Foursons said...

Like Bethany I don't have words to type either. Y'all keep going through the wringer and I keep thinking, "Well, it can't get any worse" and then the bad news keeps rolling in. You are a true warrior for Christ Rachel. You continually find the good amongst the heartache and continue to spread His word. He WILL reward you for your faithfulness. Hang in there girl, I continue to pray.

Tamar SB said...

So sorry this season of joy has been dotted with sadness and heart ache. I hope and pray that 2012 will be filled with joy, love, and lots of living!

stephanie said...

Mr. Daddy is a good Santa :) praying blessings for your family in the new year

rachel said...

Oh Rachel, what heartache for sure. Praying for your friend, for peace for her family when she goes (sounds like she is already at peace), and for a safe surgery for mr daddy, and a good result from it. Happy Holidays to you and your family.

RaD said...

I voted over and over again (when my computer would let me). 300 is pretty good. How very nice of a certain someone to match our votes!

Sorry to hear about your friend. Soemtimes life just sucks.

Melissa said...

thinking of you daily, and praying.
love you dear friend.

Shana said...

I wish I could make it all better like when we are kids and a kiss on our boo boo would fix everything. I can pray though. After all, what more is there? I absolutely hate that Mr. Daddy is going through this and I hate that you and Itty Bit are going through this. It turns my stomach. It isn't right. Then with your friend. That isn't right either and I will definitely pray for her and her family. I cannot imagine knowing I was leaving my son and husband behind. I am so sorry for them. Life is so hard and so twisted sometimes. I am here for you guys and always praying. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. Love you guys!

robin said...

You're such a good friend! I will be keeping your friend in my thoughts hoping her transition will be a peaceful painless one. That's so sad! Also hope you guys get better soon so Mr. Daddy can get to his appt. asap!! Glad Itty Bit had a great Christmas and know that next year will be a much better one for you guys! *hug*

GunDiva said...

What a rollercoaster your life is.

I suppose we can let Mr. Daddy out of his double dog dare, since he was so fabulous in donating to Morning Star.

You've got an amazing family, Rachel. Love to all of you.

PS - sorry about your camera on top of everything else.

Tina said...

Wow, I can see why you are overwhelmed! Life is really something else, isn't it? I will be praying for your friend and her family. (And her friends) Somehow, I think home is going to be even better than that scene from the play. Beyond anything we can possibly imagine. She will be in good hands.

Mom of M&Ms said...

Dang!!! on so many levels...

Dang for the camera lens... a although Nikon is swell and this would be a good time to switch...

(I think when I first met ya'll, MR. Daddy and I had quit a few comment wars on the canon vs nikon thingie)

Dang is what you are gonna say when ya step on a lego...


Dang for MR. Daddy and his generosity and all those babies getting that money.. HE is so GOOD.

Dang for the Friend and I pray that she passes in peace...and I know that heaven will be just like the nutcracker, cause she wants it to be

Dang Dang Dang...and you are loved and prayed for and prayed over and loved!

heather said...

It took me 15 minutes to read this post through all my tears. Praying for all of your difficult situations, friend.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

The way you manage to eek the beauty of life out of such sad times is a testament for us all. Strong soul for sure. Stay strong!

Anonymous said...

You really MUST blog about Itty-bit & cousins booby-trapping Papa

Michelle Pixie said...

You are an amazing human being and I am inspired by your strength. Keeping you all in my thoughts for a happy and healthy new year!

Julie said...

Big Hugs to you, Rachel. I don't even know what to say. You are in my thoughts and prayers. <3

Saimi said...

What an amazing mom, wife and friend you are!!

Hope this New Year will be brighter for you!

brian said...

Mr. Daddy...one hand on the wheel...other hand on his cup of coffee. Eyes intent on what's up ahead...

Praying for you and your family for a healthy and prosperous 2012...

Jess said...

Oh, you weren't kidding about your camera strap and purse incident. (I should have known) Sounds like your 50mm is all you had?

Sending prayers for your friend and her family.

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